Chairman Dean's Message: Turn Up Volume

Millions of dollars spent by the Democrats have done surprisingly little to familiarize Americans with their program. "It's because our message was too quiet," Dr. Dean continued. "But once we crank up the volume people will finally hear it and start voting for our candidates."

Dr. Dean has started issuing Democrat "Screaming Points," with suggested decibel levels and designs for creating proper "listening environments" (Figure 1).

"The strength and truth of a message lies in its volume. Where would be today if our protesters hadn't screamed into bullhorns for the past forty years?" Dean queried, raising the volume of his own voice with every word. "I happen to know that without the Fender amplifier, segregation would still exist, feminism would be a dirty word, and we'd still be fighting and dying in Vietnam!" Dr. Dean shouted. "Clearly the people are not reading accurately, so we must also help cut through the fog before their eyes," he went on, his voice turning into a deafening roar. (Figure 2). "If this doesn't work, I will be shocked!"

Dr. Dean then proceeded to give a speech to the Daughters of the American Revolution, during which there was clear evidence that he was being adequately heard (Figure 3).