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E-mail itColleges to Allow Terrorist Recruiters on Campus
 | Since the initially successful effort by academia to ban US military recruiters on campuses has had frustratingly little effect on the overall recruitment numbers, the non-partisan organization "Professors Against Unfair Recruiting Practices" (PAURP) is pushing for a change in strategy to undermine the US military in wartime. The so-called "Academia's New Iraq Strategy," designed to boost morale and guide activist professors out of an apparent quagmire, calls for a surge in numbers of "terrorist" recruiters on campus, as well as extending invitations to representatives of the Cuban, North Korean, and Venezuelan militaries. |
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Student activist:
Dr. Palimpsest:
Professor Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD:
"If Bush is sending 20,000 more troops to Iraq, how can the enemies of neocolonialism compete with those numbers without a fairness doctrine when it comes to recruitment?" Dr. Palimpsest said at a fund-raising event held yesterday in Seattle. "My colleagues in the academy are worried that their students are only getting one side of the story. In the interest of tolerance and diversity, as well as leveling the playing field - or should we say battlefield - we must redress the recruiting balance by boosting the numbers of recruiters from various so-called 'terrorist' organizations, communist regimes, and any group that opposes and resents American capitalist success."
Mr. Sayf Hazem, a representative of Hezbollah and the biggest donor of the Seattle fundraiser, says it's about time. "We've been discriminated against for too long on the college campuses of America," Hazem stated in a phone interview. "We know thousands of American students are depressed and suicidal. If we can get them to take a few Jews with them when they off themselves, then it's a win-win."
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Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, Secretary General of The more enterprising militant Islamic groups have hired U.S. marketing firms and are developing aggressive strategies and slogans to rival those of the U.S. military. Here are a few of the snappier ones:
"Islam is the Shizlam!"
"For you, we'll make it 73 virgins!"
"Martyrdom is the new black!"
"We're all about some collateral damage, bitches!"
As eager as ever to augment their numbers, terrorist groups are focusing on the skills and experience that their recruits will acquire. Such skills, Hazem argues, will prepare young jihadis for future careers in many fields, especially those involving the handling of explosives, making devises that require timers, crop dusting, cargo container inspection, hazardous material truck driving, and pharmaceuticals, to name a few.
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 If you think logically, these protests can't be about gays in the military. They're about crippling America's ability to defend itself in a time of war. They think if America is hit hard enough they'll be able to change our system - at the cost of many thousand American lives. That's a criminal intent. |  The "anti-war" label is misleading. These people aren't really against war - they're against America winning a war. With their Che Guevara shirts and all, they'll surely support a war that suits their ideology. Incidentally, a war that suits their ideology would be a war against America. |
To protest military recruiters is just silly. If you really believe that the country should have no army, you have the political means at your disposal, to promote and elect those representatives who would pass such a bill and vote on it. Disbanding the army would, of course, endanger all the other citizens, so such a measure would never get passed. That's because the Founding Fathers have given us the greatest fool-proof political system that protects us from this sort of inanity. And that is why these nutjobs want to change our system through non-constitutional means.
On a side note, Dr. Fuku should be credited with developing Michael Moore's trifocals, which enable him to see his Big Macs in the past, present, and future.
Branish
I hope this alliance and mutual offensive is a major step in the destruction of the U.S.!You bet, Comrade Branish! "One nation under Allah"... Islam, however, will only remain the Shizlam as long as it's useful in subverting American imperialist hegemony.
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In a related story, House Democrats have just introduced a bill making it a hate crime to use the epithet "terrorist" when referring to members of radical Islamist groups that are bent on the destruction of Western civilization and use lethal violence toward this end.
Quote:
In a related story, House Democrats have just introduced a bill making it a hate crime to use the epithet "terrorist" when referring to members of radical Islamist groups that are bent on the destruction of Western civilization and use lethal violence toward this end.It's about time someone stands up to defend those who want to kill them!
As the story above relates, they've already deployed these four:
"Islam is the Shizlam!"
"For you, we'll make it 73 virgins!"
"Martyrdom is the bomb!"
"We're all about some collateral damage, bitches!"
It's a good start, but they need some really clever hooks. Sloganeers, the Revolution is calling!
"Islam: Painting the town red with explosives, and ourselves."
"Do not fear us, we just want to kill you!"
"Kill an infidel, for Fidel!"
in which he says,
Quote:
"Also undistinguished are pithy efforts like “Making a Difference” or “A Distinctive Approach.” Anderson University touts its “Excellent Performance” while Bethel College encourages you to “Take the Next Step.” Warner College invites you to “Join a Community” and Calumet College of St. Joseph says “You Can.” Can what?"These phrases seem pretty applicable here, and as no good comrade should be above a little shameless borrowing here it is...
Jihad! Making a Difference
Wahab: A Distinctive Approach.
Islamo-fascist freedom bombers: Excellent Performance
Serious about your faith? Take the Next Step.
Mullahs encourage you to "Join a Community "
Terrorism. You Can.
qital fi sabilillah. the only words you'll ever need to spell in college.
"Chop heads not tax rates!"
Stoshu
"Boycott 24 - how dare those Zionist bastards portray radical Islamic fundamentalists as intolerant, homicidal zealots?"
"Double your pleasure! Limited recruitment special. Join now and increase your posthumous ration of virgins by 100%!"
Premier Brezhnev
I propose that we also open Soviet military recruitment centers on campuses.Dearest Premier comrade Brezhnev, would though but that we could. I know, I know... However, we can open Venezuelan military recruitment centers on campus! Millions of young college students would love to become the soldiers of socialism if only but given the opportunity. They would fight any war under that banner.
Comrade Otis
However, we can open Venezuelan military recruitment centers on campus! Millions of young college students would love to become the soldiers of socialism if only but given the opportunity. They would fight any war under that banner.You are correct, Comrade Otis. Progressive students have raised hundreds of different, subversive banners atop The Ivory Tower, expressing their intention to crush the corporatist fascist state when they grow up.
Professors Against Unfair Recruiting Practices (PAURP) has already extended an invitation to the armed forces of Venezuela, North Korea, and Cuba. I am pleased to report that recruiters from these model nations will be arriving on our 200+ participating campuses in a matter of weeks.
We also plan to make overtures to the militaries of Iran, Syria, China, Vietnam, and, of course, FRANCE!
A votre sante, mes amis!
--Dr. P
It is my privilege to enjoy the Party's trust in that rank you mention. I, though, am but a humble country peasant of no great consequence, of no influence, of no personal ambition, and prefer to be addressed simply by my Party name, Comrade Otis. I find being addressed by Party titles to be ... so ... bourgeois and unsettling. I believe in the great leveling infuence of the Party.
To midnight. <clink>
Imagine if we all gave up our titles and perks - the Revolutionary clock might move another two, or even three, minutes closer to midnight and the dawning of the great socialist New Day. There would be no more Chairman Meow, just modest ole Comrade Meow - no more Premier Betty, just simply, Comrade Betty - no more Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda, just the unassuming Comrade Pravda. And I would drop the "Dr." from my name and be a regular Joe, the demure Comrade Palimpsest.
Hmm... We don't really want to rush things too quickly, do we?
To midnight, then, when the time is right! *clink*
To progress and the Party! *clink* (ahhh, conflict crystal!)
<limo wheels squeal>
Chairman M. S. Punchenko
(I'll meet you at the Purple Panda tonight, Dr. P. Bring those graduate students with you - oh, and a crate of Propaganda.)To progress and the Party! *clink* (ahhh, conflict crystal!)
<limo wheels squeal>
I'll see you there, Punchy, old pal. But tonight, we'll be leaving the graduate students to their studies. Instead, we have "representatives" of the Venezuelan and North Korean armed forces to entertain, and, let's just say that Hugo and Kim really have fine taste in "commandos of the night", if you know what I mean.
<lights up phat, contraband Montecristo Robusto>
Comrade Otis
Premier Brezhnev
I propose that we also open Soviet military recruitment centers on campuses.Dearest Premier comrade Brezhnev, would though but that we could. I know, I know... However, we can open Venezuelan military recruitment centers on campus! Millions of young college students would love to become the soldiers of socialism if only but given the opportunity. They would fight any war under that banner.
You are a genius! If they do join the Venezuelans, Soviet advisors would be doing the training anyway. The Soviets will pick the best of the best and take them to Russia for further training.
Premier Brezhnev
You are a genius! If they do join the Venezuelans, Soviet advisors would be doing the training anyway. The Soviets will pick the best of the best and take them to Russia for further training.Dearest Premier comrade Brezhnev, Your keen, lightning quick grasp of the possibilities is only exceeded by your magnanimous, well-reasoned decision to relate your thoughts to those of us of slower mental caliber than you.
Dearest Premier comrade Brezhnev, to midnight! <clink>
On college campuses news of the terrorist threat is "offensive"
http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/Re ... p?ID=26770
FrontPage Magazine
February 5, 2007In a decision that reveals the state of denial on American campuses, the editorial board of the Georgica Tech student paper – The Georgia Tech Technique – has rejected an ad from the Terrorism Awareness Project warning students about the threat that radical Islam poses to America. Nor is it the first campus publication to chill open debate on radical Islamic terrorism.
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