Commissarka Pinkie Investigates Vodka Rations

<character off>

Wow, Pup. That last one is messed up. That's a good way to get dead fast.
 

I know, sure looked like a good way to die.....if you want to die a fool.
 

Most die fools... the few who don't have only realized how little they know...
 

My grandfather, God rest him, had this happen at his fraternity in college.  The fellow downed about the same amount of Jack Daniels in under a minute and w/in a half hour went into cardiac arrest and died.  Stupid and sad.
 

Maybe this will get us off the topic of drinking too much.


 

Premier Betty

Maybe this will get us off the topic of drinking too much.

And back to the exploitation of women.... Sigh....
 

Premier Betty

Maybe this will get us off the topic of drinking too much.



Funny.  But this still prevents me from taking ballet:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkiIsmFOWjI

(aside) hey, how do I put a video directly into the post?
 

If you go to the YouTube site, and others, look for the "embed" code, On you tube I usually see it on the right hand side. Just copy and paste,
 

It took me a while to figure that out myself.  I ended up going into the posts, copying the code, then pasting it in my post, and switching the video ID.  It didn't work.  Then I actually looked at the page the video was on and found the "embed" thingy.
 

CUBEFLASH!

COMRADE DIRK DID IT!!!!!

Yes, he's the one I woke up to find in the shower, pretending to be Our Glorious Leader (who, last I heard, was in a coma from some bogus vodka Dirk tried to palm off on me).

He's also the one who threw the red commie man-panties in with the whites, turning the laundry pink, and SMO purple with rage.

He's the one with the Jar-Jar jimmy-jams. Thought he could use them to implicate Comrade Betinov. Really! Like, who besides Dirk could be demented enough to make such a lamewad leap as that?

Oh, and I guess this means I owe Betinov an apology? Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Bush means never having to say you're sorry. Betinov, about my false accusation? Bush's fault!
 

Quote:

Yes, he's the one I woke up to find in the shower, pretending to be Our Glorious Leader (who, last I heard, was in a coma from some bogus vodka Dirk tried to palm off on me).  


BWAHAHAHA everything is falling perfectly into place. Janet and the empress have been disposed of. That infernal trapazoid has been rendered useless, and soon the big oil ninjas will arrive and present this site to his lordship Bushitler as "theCapitalistCube" BWAHAHAHAHAHA
 

Curse you dirk!!!!  Curse you!!!!!!!
 

It's not too late for you Betty. We could use you in the development of our new "Grand Theft Auto: DNC edition". JOIN US BETTY OR FALL WITH YOUR COMRADES.
 

Help us, Obi wan, You're our only hope!
 

Pray to whatever god/fictional character/toaster you want. NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 

comrade dirk

Pray to whatever god/fictional character/toaster you want. NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Oh great flying spaghetti monster!  Spicy be thy sauce!  Thy garlic's done, thy meatballs come on platters as they are in kitchens.  Help us now, we plead, thy dough we surely knead, come to our aid for we have prayed so deliver us some antipasto."


 

Quote:

It's not too late for you Betty. We could use you in the development of our new "Grand Theft Auto: DNC edition". JOIN US BETTY OR FALL WITH YOUR COMRADES.


Must... fight... sell out... instincts... must not... give in....

Must... act... like all... heroes... should

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0T9ZMYH6xkU
 

All right, here's retribution for that damnable optical illusion that Red posted.

If you look very carefully, you can see in the background rocks and the ocean.

Look hard..yadadada..do you see it?


And with this I've disposed of those damned man-panties once and for all.
 

Commissar Theocritus

If you look very carefully, you can see in the background rocks and the ocean.

Look hard..yadadada..do you see it?

Back . . . rock . . . hard . . .

Wait a minute, what am I supposed to see?
 

Quote:

Back...rock...hard...

Art thou in drag? Oh, no, that man-panties bit. But I'm so confused now.

If you look carefully, you will notice that if we can clone proles like this and market them, they would form the assets of a fundamentally sound economy.

And I am NOT apologizing.
 

I do believe that I have gone blind.  Excuse me.

<runs into next room>

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

IT BURNS!!!  IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!!

<returns>

I'm okay... I think....
 

Betty, I assume you mean the picture for no one has yet gone blind over very bad puns. But I promise you--I REALLY PROMISE YOU--that you will not (1) go blind over seeing a man's bum; (2) you will not turn gay over seeing a man's bum (3) you will not go gay if you TOUCH a man's bum (4) you will not go gay if a man touches your bum, because (1) I've seen a woman's bum; (2) I've touched--and more--a woman's bum; and (3) I've touched a woman's other parts too, (4) a woman has touched MY bum and other things and (5) Jerry Falwell would still hate me if he weren't being tortured in hell by Tinky-Winky. Who, come to think of it, is probably doing obscene things to Fallwell's Tiny-Winy.

Well, let's hear it for euphony. That's about all it's got going for it.

HEAR AND BELIEVE. It ain't a virus. It ain't contagious. It ain't catching. It doesn't go through the air. If it were catching I suspect a lot of people would figure a way to find a cure--and a lot of people would take it. It would make life a hell of a lot easier.
 

Commissar, as you know, I have tried my best to put an end, to discourage my comrades from posting such pictures as it only leads to.... tit for tat if you will. All of these pictures are a distraction from the cause. Public decadence is for the proles to give relief to their tensions, or to ferment the destruction of the capitalist society, not for the Party. Sure, behind closed doors, Party events etc, but in public? We didn't see this in the Motherland in the good old days. I denounce public nudity! Denounce it!
 

But it's cheaper than buying the proles antibiotics to keep them healthy enough to work.
 

Commissar Theocritus

But I promise you--I REALLY PROMISE YOU--that you will not (1) go blind over seeing a man's bum; (2) you will not turn gay over seeing a man's bum (3) you will not go gay if you TOUCH a man's bum (4) you will not go gay if a man touches your bum

I can personally attest to this.
 

Commissar Theocritus

I promise you--I REALLY PROMISE YOU--that you will not (1) go blind over seeing a man's bum; (2) you will not turn gay over seeing a man's bum (3) you will not go gay if you TOUCH a man's bum (4) you will not go gay if a man touches your bum


<covering eyes>

I don't care!  It's something that I don't want to look at and don’t need to look at!

<reaches for rusty spoon>

There's only one way to settle this....
 

I like Red’s picture better… but that’s just me.
 

Betty! Put down the gun! Don't waste those bullets for we may need them for the proles!
 

Oops... can't see with my eyes covered.

<drops gun in punch bowl and attempts to reach for rusty spoon again, but grabs candlestick instead>

*bonk*

Ow

*bonk*

OW!  This isn't a spoon!
 

Meow, I know that you like that picture better. But I do have an advantage after all. Since I don't care, I can torment you with this:


Got Lip Balm?
 

Quote:

Meow, I know that you like that picture better. But I do have an advantage after all. Since I don't care, I can torment you with this:



THE PAIN! OH GOOD MARX THE PAIN! give me that (steals spoon from Premier Betty) DIE YOU EVIL EYES! DIE!
 

I can't tell the difference, Theocritus. An ass is featured in both pictures that you have submitted for collective viewing... only this latest picture has craggier rocks and a sea of deception.
 

dirk

steals spoon from Premier Betty) DIE YOU EVIL EYES! DIE!


<still covering eyes>

Hey, I wasn't done with that yet!

<stumbles over chair and falls down 3 flights of stairs>

Look what you have done to me!  Please just let me gouge out my eyes in peace!
 

CRAP! I just realized that blind people can't steal wallets. How am I supposed to support my liquor/drug/prostitute habit now?
 

By claiming disability and getting free money from the government?
 

I wonder if those are her real teeth...
 

I wonder if that's her real skin....
 

They look pretty false to me (among other things "Hillary").

It would be funny if they were false and if they fell out while she is accepting the Democrat nomination.
 

Quote:

By claiming disability and getting free money from the government?


Soberness counts as disability, right?
 

Yes, and so is being a democrat.  Now get out there and receive you well-earned check!
 

Quote:

Yes, and so is being a democrat


<off karakter>
That one might actually be true
 

And unfortunately, they do get free money for it.
 

As long as they do something stupid and sue the evil KKKapitalist companies for it (unless that company is starbucks).
 

Heck, they can sue the state for their stupidity and get away with it.
 

(sips coffee) I couldn't agree more Premier (spills coffee) great ghost of Stalin that's hot! Betty, since this post was directed towards you I'll sue for every wallet you've got.
 

Crap....

Can't sue what you can't find!

<stuffs wallet down throat>

Mmmph... gmmmhhpp...  *choke*

....

*thud*

<begins turning blue>
 

Am I alone in seeing a merging between the Democrats and Appliance Americans? After all, if you go on the DKos can you tell the difference between the keen whining sound there and the keen whining sound of a garbage disposal grinding up a glass tumbler?
 

It all just sounds like explosive diarrhea to me.  Although that's what it might actually be.  Just out of the opposite end.

Eeeewww....

<shudders>
 

Well isn't the point of those people to shit on people as much as possible?
 

Good point.  Although they would have to claim that it's in the name of "art".
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

I can't tell the difference, Theocritus. An ass is featured in both pictures that you have submitted for collective viewing... only this latest picture has craggier rocks and a sea of deception.

I think in the first picture Pinkie is leering at the fine crags and clefts, whereas in the second picture Captain Jean-Luc Picard is leering at our many titted empress.
 

Commissar Theocritus

All right, here's retribution for that damnable optical illusion that Red posted.

If you look very carefully, you can see in the background rocks and the ocean.

Look hard..yadadada..do you see it?


And with this I've disposed of those damned man-panties once and for all.

Not to scorch your eyes again, Betty, but I'm wondering a few things about the photo.
A. is this Batman on vacation?  or is it just another handsome Mediterranean to which we're always losing our women?
B. what exactly is he doing?  Peeing on his friends clothes?  kicking sand in a 100lb weakling nudist?  getting ready to dash into the cold surf where his scrotums will shrivel up like SunMaid raisins?  or just standing waiting for some handsome thing to come and sweep him off this all-male nude beach?
C. would the Spartans have had this build?
D. what is that small speck in the distance at which he stares?  is that Grace Kelly careening off a mountain road?  By Che!  No.  It's the commisar of appropriate dress - best get those rags back on again, there, Prole.
C. where can I purchase me some glutes like that?  i have no ass.  it was given to the party early on for the sake of progress.
 

AbecedariusRex

comrade dirk

Pray to whatever god/fictional character/toaster you want. NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Oh great flying spaghetti monster!  Spicy be thy sauce!  Thy garlic's done, thy meatballs come on platters as they are in kitchens.  Help us now, we plead, thy dough we surely knead, come to our aid for we have prayed so deliver us some antipasto."



At least now that I'm a Goreman and a member of the CFSM, I don't have to be conflicted... the higher temperatures help the garllc toast along... and neither of my parents need to feel as if I've abandoned their Church, as my Dad's always been a devout CFSMer (and a Pirate... argh!) and Mom's a Goreman (and there's a direct corelation between the drop in the population of Pirates and the increase in Global warming... except in 1932, for some reason)... it's my little brother, the Jew, I'm worried about...  definitely a lost cuber if there ever was one... and we had such high hopes when he was growing up.

Ramen!
 

AbecedariusRex

Not to scorch your eyes again, Betty, but I'm wondering a few things about the photo.


You didn't have to quote the photo!  Just the text, JUST THE TEXT!!!!!

Where did that rusty spoon go...?
 

Oh my Lenin!  I think I'm falling into another Putinka-induced nightmare!

Betty, quick!  I need to borrow your rusty spoon and that gun.

Goodbye, cruel world!
 

AbecedariusRex, the man is what is commonly known as a gym queen. And yes, the buns are rather spectacular. But before you start envying, either he's been using tape on the other side or you might not want to make a full-body trade.

Pinkie, not only is Chipmunk Empress horrifying, but isn't she leering at Senator Chuckie Cheese, the Senior senator from New York? I wonder if they would join Bishop Spong having some, er, games on his altar. With our MTE I suppose it would involve blood sacrifices. After all, she's moved up from the Hildo Hydra, at least for a while.

But bright lights, bright lights. Remember what we learned in Manhunter: blood looks black in moonlight, and we could never lose the symbolism of red blood.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Oh my Lenin! I think I'm falling into another Putinka-induced nightmare!
Betty, quick! I need to borrow your rusty spoon and that gun.
Goodbye, cruel world!




NO PINKIE!!!

DO NOT DO IT!!! IT IS A TRICK!!!

The Borat, that Qazaq skum, and his Blue Bell, are loose in The People's Cube again, and someone has given them access to the computers in order to drive us mad by wreaking havoc with badly PhotoShopped portraits of our beloved Highness... I wonder who it could be?!? The same one who keeps letting them in no doubt.... we will have to observe the surveillance footage from those hidden security cameras we had installed... I will notify the His Incarnadine Angular Benificence at once, and then this mystery may be solved for once and for all....

Calm yourself Pinkie... All will be well... When we have ascertained the identity of the saboteur(s), we will first take their sabot (such political Luddites do not even deserve footwear!), and then we will make them pay for their crimes against the Cube and her loyal members (according to the wishes of our Her Highness and Red Square). But in preparation, I believe we should sharpen our shovels. If nothing else, the act will centre us and help to hone our righteous indignation and consider what forms our retribution may take.

SMO
Sister is one pissed off Dolphin, as culprit is no doubt responsible for Hummel beaning incident, from which I am still not finished being angry... and now to have brought you to this state of upset... They will pay... oh yes... they will pay...
 

Holy Horilka, Batman!

Green, Earth Friendly, Environmentally Conscious, and Ecologically Correct Horilka, Batman!  Will my Putinka induced nightmare never end?
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Holy Horilka, Batman!

Green, Earth Friendly, Environmentally Conscious, and Ecologically Correct Horilka, Batman!  Will my Putinka induced nightmare never end?

Uh, no.




www.whysoserious.com
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Holy Horilka, Batman!

Green, Earth Friendly, Environmentally Conscious, and Ecologically Correct Horilka, Batman!  Will my Putinka induced nightmare never end?
Horilka is how the Ukrainians pronounce it (since the word is Ukrainian for firewater). The correct Russian pronunciation is Gorilka, with a hard "G", as in Al Gore: GORILKA. Which in the oppressive capitalist English language means Global Warming Vodka. Once again, Pinkie hit the kulak right on the head with her shovel.


 

And if you drink enough of it you start seeing things and the Goremon makes a strange sense.

So let's hear it to that Aqua Regia, which Progressive Members can use to dissolve platinum and gold--and the world's best economies too.
 

AbecedariusRex

Commissarka Pinkie

Holy Horilka, Batman!

Green, Earth Friendly, Environmentally Conscious, and Ecologically Correct Horilka, Batman!  Will my Putinka induced nightmare never end?

Uh, no.




www.whysoserious.com

SWEET!!!!

So is there going to be both The Joker and Two Face in the new movie?  It didn't show much, but that coin at the end definitely belonged to Two Face.  Plus Batman is such a great comic because it's so realistic.  All the villains are psychopaths and don't have crazy superpowers and stuff like in the Superman comics and other ones.

I can't wait for the new movie!!!
 

Premier Betty

SWEET!!!!

So is there going to be both The Joker and Two Face in the new movie?  It didn't show much, but that coin at the end definitely belonged to Two Face.  Plus Batman is such a great comic because it's so realistic.  All the villains are psychopaths and don't have crazy superpowers and stuff like in the Superman comics and other ones.

I can't wait for the new movie!!!

ditto ditto ditto.
Apparently Harvey Dent is going to emerge as the bescarred half faced loony.  Should be fun.
 

Couldn't finish the Batman movie with Danny diVito as the Penguin.
 

Commissar Theocritus

Couldn't finish the Batman movie with Danny diVito as the Penguin.

Well who could, my man?  That was Tim Burton and in the days when the Batman movies were all about making something rather ludicrous.  Batman 1 with Micheal Keaton and Jack Nicholson was okay, Batman 2 by Burton was fairly good, but pretty cartoonish still, Batman 3 with the Riddler played by Jim Carrey was pretty atrocious, and Batman 4 with George Clooney and the Governator was laughably bad (see video below)



But the "Batman Begins" done by Christopher Nolan (who is directing the new "Dark Knight") transcends the superhero genre into the realm of great film making.  It doesn't just tell a comic book story it tells a gripping human drama with a superhero as the main character.  Minus Katie Holmes the movie is utterly kick ass.  (see below)



If you haven't yet seen "Batman Begins" see it.  The other movies are no gauge whatsoever.
 

AbecedariusRex

If you haven't yet seen "Batman Begins" see it.  The other movies are no gauge whatsoever.


Agreed.  It shall become mandatory party viewing!!!!

Although the You Tube video above doesn't do it justice.
 

I just threw Amazon some more of my money but was disappointed to find it only in HD-DVD instead of Blu-Ray--which will disappear because I have it, as I have SACD x 4,DVD-A x 3 (including car) and I pitched my old Beta VCRs. The iPod and now the iPhone kept Apple alive though. If I find that I really like breathing, the Goracle will make it difficult.
 

Dear me.  What happened here?  

I come back to this thread to find a full blown discussion about Batman and his seemingly endless parade of archnemeses. (sp?)  Or did I accidentally stumble--again--into that "Comic Book Supervillains and the Dateless Wonders Who Would Emulate Their Quest for World Dominance If Only They Could Move Out of Their Mother's Basement" chat room?  

Wherever I am, since I'm here, I may as well make some annoying comment.  

You guys go ahead and laugh, but for me, it's the 1966 Batman movie.  

Now there's a cautionary tale for us all.  Imagine if a variation of this happened in real life:  World leaders dehydrated by the real supervillains of the world--the Republican Party--only to get the brightly colored particles all mixed up after Dick Cheney mistakes them for Dan Quayle and shoots the vials with his air gun.  

We'd need a plan to remix and rehydrate the particles.  Otherwise, Hugo Chavez could become the most reviled leader in history, declaring illegal wars on other countries just to steal their oil, while Hollywood celebrities will be lining up outside the White House to schmooze with Bush and tell him how great the U.S.A. is.  

And at the Nobel Awards Ceremony in Stockholm next month, it would be King Carl Gustaf of Sweden saying to Al Gore, "Why don't you shut up?"

The very thought makes me shudder in horror.

Now, if this is the aforementioned chat room, I've probably been banned already.  If it's The People's Cube, then I'm going back out to pick up one of those "No Nerd Strips."

Anyone want me to bring back anything?
 

who you calling a nerd?  And it's the garage, not the basement!



And I do date, I met this hot chick on-line, cutie_nobush04 (wow "nobush" just like that hot porn site!), and we are going to meet at the mall for some eggrolls then she's coming back to my place to watch the LOTR Trilogy.  So there!


 

Hey, nerds are smart!  I'm a geek.
 

Be nice or I'll send my warriors of Rohan after you!

http://www.iit.edu/~marrjam/viking_kittens/default2.htm
 

Premier Betty

Hey, nerds are smart!  I'm a geek.

I'm somewhere below geek, I have dream, to be a geek.
 

For your time wasting pleasure:

How Geeky Are You?

How Nerdy Are You?

I seem to recall a long time ago, a friend had on her blog "Are You a Geek or a Nerd" quiz, but I can't find that one now (though of course I'll keep looking).
 

Commissarka Pinkie

For your time wasting pleasure:

How Geeky Are You?

How Nerdy Are You?

I seem to recall a long time ago, a friend had on her blog "Are You a Geek or a Nerd" quiz, but I can't find that one now (though of course I'll keep looking).

And so goes another Friday night hypnotized by our monitors in Mom's garage (basement).  The sacrifices we make for The PartyTM
 

I had to dig into the blog of aforementioned friend (hard to believe I even have one sometimes) to find this, but here it is:

Nerd, Geek, or Dork?

I rated "Pure Dork."  

The things I do for The Party--and on Friday nights!  

I'm going back to that site with the men's thongs.
 

Red Jim

Be nice or I'll send my warriors of Rohan after you!

http://www.iit.edu/~marrjam/viking_kittens/default2.htm

OMG.  Was that a +3 vorpal warhammer or a mace of striking used by that bellicose feline?
 

Just as an FYI; geek began as a term for those sideshow carnies who would bite the heads off of chickens for extra cash and a good show.  Where "nerd" came from I don't know (though it's probably Norse).  My knowing these things would put me in the category of nerd.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

You guys go ahead and laugh, but for me, it's the 1966 Batman movie.  



Would that be this movie?


 

Commissarka Pinkie

You guys go ahead and laugh, but for me, it's the 1966 Batman movie.  



or was it this one?



(oh, wait, that wasn't Batman was it?)
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Nerd, Geek, or Dork?

I rated "Pure Dork."
Whatever you do, Pinkie, don't trust those who rate 50% man 50% bear 50% pig.

I rated:
60% Nerd, 21% Geek, 39% Dork
60% benevolent dictator, 21% leader of unwashed masses, 39% hero of revolution
60% Red, 21% Square, 39% People's Director