Conflict in The Middle East: Progressive Solutions



Now that we have identified the problems of the Middle East, it is now time to present high-powered academic solutions to this crisis. And whereas the average policy maker is hard-pressed to find a single solution, I, with my vast intelligence, have developed eight solutions:
1) Establish Scientific Socialism.
The tranquility of the late Soviet Union can be easily moved to the Middle East -- with the assistance of a violent revolution to terminally smash the ruling class and establish a workers' paradise where everyone will be the equal of everyone else, and everything we need will be free. Why can't the entire Middle East be like a People-of-Color version of The Democratic People's Republic of Korea? There are no wars among the Korean people!
2) Establish an Islamic Caliphate.

3) Human Extinction.


Extinction will save us all.
The remaining solutions are not as powerful, but will nevertheless solve the problem
4) Zionist Surrender.
It takes two to fight, and I therefore declare the Zionists "guilty as charged" for not surrendering. Total surrender and an iron-clad promise to never attack again (accompanied by a UN-enforced demilitarization of the Zionist state) would end this conflict forever.
5) Sue the Zionists in International Court.

6) Defeat Amerikkka.

7) Return Iraq to its rightful ruler, the Hon. President Saddam Hussein.

Saddam Hussein knew how to handle Amerikkkans
What do you think my fellow progressives and I are yelling about when we take to the streets in defiance of the Iraq War? When we say that Amerikkka had no business going in, we mean that everyone was far better off with Saddam Hussein in charge.
Remember, President Hussein was a calming influence in the Middle East; he knew how to handle Zionists: "For years Hussein wrote checks in the sum of USD 25,000 to the families of Palestinian Arab suicide bombers."
8) Annex Amerikkka to Iran.
In my learned opinion, I think that the nation of Iran could easily absorb the entirety of Amerikkka. The result would be a true global-spanning Iran with the Amerikkkan military at its disposal to quickly terminate all conflict in the Middle East. Overnight, the Zionist-Occupied Amerikkkan War Machine would become the Iranian Peace Machine, and that dumb fascist monkey Bush-Hitler would finally be reigned in and replaced by a caring leadership that has repeatedly demonstrated that they know what the word "restraint" means.


I have to go now and find my shovel and something warm to wear...



I admire how many Jewish Americans, like yourself, in Amerikkka do not throw away their votes. How they look beyond the fascist Republican lies of KKKarl Rove and vote for those who do not stand in the way of SMASHING the offending occupier. I am sure if Islam were to spread, against the wishes of Israel and Amerikkka of course, that the brave Hezbollah and Hamas freedom fighters would gladly thank you and reward your courage as you stand with them against the oppressor.
People like Barbra Streisand, Jon Stewart and Chomsky will be welcomed with opened arms by the freedom fighters. In fact I don't even believe the lies Murdoch's Faux News foments that they are Islamofacists. I believe, like many of my professors have taught me, that they are freedom fighters for a greater progressive ideal society. While Israel is an evil tool for Amerikkka aggression against the whole Middle East in its greedy quest for oil.
I want to thank great learned professors like yourself Prof. Krugman who have opened my eyes that were once closed, to suffering that Amerikkka has caused around the world. I know Hama, Hezbollah and Al Quaida will listen to your great mind. Once they do, they will renounce their simplistic archaic religious binds that tie them. Because we intelligent people of a higher level believe that only great open minds like yours can reach them. They will be touched like so many of us have and we will live in peace once Israel is defeated and revolution has occurred in Amerikkka.
I also wait for the day that Gay Marriage will be seen as a right all over the world, including any Muslim country. I believe that great men like yourself can make it happen. Unlike this barbaric Amerikkka that denies that basic human right.
Freedom for Palestine, Bush is the Only Terrorist, and Death to Wal-Mart.



Mulva is correct, bombing is bad and too expensive, use cheap rocket Katyushas.
It's good for killing Nazis and Zionists.....no irony there folks!
It's nice to hear somebody playing tunes on Stalin's Organ again.
http://www.astronautix.com/lvs/katyusha.htm
http://www.answers.com/topic/studebaker-us6
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katyusha
We are talking about the same "them", right Comrade Troll?
L.


Troll Rock!
With all the happiness and feel good vibes of Nirvana combined with the smooth stylish vocals of Bob Dylan and the three chord progressions of Alice Bowie (Cheech & Chong's "Earache My Eye") The Cube is very proud to bring you Alva Goldbook!
http://music.download.com/alvagoldbook/ ... g100694166


Quote:
The Cube is very proud to bring you Alva Goldbook!No it isn't! My ears are still bleeding, and this crappy "Peoples Toilet (sand) Paper ©" isn't stopping it!


How can you say such mean things about Hero Troll of the Revolution?
Is it not true about the Federeen and the Reich Wingers?
Is it not true that Bushler is coming for the Muslims, Gays, and activists which is truly 'True Evils". Isn't the Rovian concentration camps overflowing with them?
Is not "Military Secrets" killing us all?
Our troll speaks the "Truth"!
Maybe your ears are bleeding for the love of such progressive genius and intellect? Da!
By the way, where did you get toilet paper? I stood in line for two days for such luxury. Oh, I forgot, you are Premier. Nevermind.
Laika


And don't feel bad about the toilet paper, that stuff would work better as steel wool instead. I have resorted to using the freshly laundered clothes of peasants... I mean "the people".