NEW YORK - Sept. 24, 2007. It was a pleasant sunny day in New York - just like the one on 9/11 six years ago. Peace activists gathered outside Columbia University to support Iranian President's speech on campus, anticipating a great leap forward towards World Peace™ and a glorious blow to American imperialism.

Supporters of international socialism stood side by side with supporters of the international caliphate - against the crowd of Jews and other agents of the international Zionist conspiracy who descended on the corner of Broadway and E 116th Street to oppose Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and steal his oil.

---

Oil-thieving Imperialist:
Give me your oil, Mahmoud! I don't care if your children drink oil or if your wife drinks oil! I don't care if drinking oil is part of your cultural and religious experience! I don't care if your people have been drinking oil for thousands of years as their only source of vitamins and minerals. Not anymore! I'm gonna take that oil right now! Watch me!

---

The forces of sweetness and light were represented by the Revolutionary Communist Party, StopWarOnIran.org (listed under the same address and phone number as all the other Ramsey Clark's subversive front groups), The World Can't Wait (Marxists for Instant Gratification) whose Advisory Board includes Lynne Stewart, Gore Vidal, and Howard Zinn (see their anti-Bush sign on the left) ...

---

...friends of al-buruj.com - a group of nice people whose Jihad-friendly site is adorned with violent fantasies about America's destruction and Noam Chomsky's videos....

---

...and other Important Intellectuals of our Age.



Mr. Silvertongue: No, I'm not a Marine but I wear this shirt so that I can tell people that I was in Iraq and how we are getting our asses kicked over there by freedom fighters. Yeah, it worked on about three people so far but I'm shooting for my fourth this afternoon.

---

There were jolly old ladies whose former adherence to choice and progressive collectivism must have precluded them from having children, and now some of them are working out their neuroses by telling stories about their imaginary sons dying in Iraq and calling radio shows to share their unbearable grief...

---

There was a representative of Sumo Wrestlers Against The Elders of Zion cult who announced in a strong Japanese accent that all evil in this world is the result of a diabolical Jewish conspiracy.

Disgruntled Sumo Wrestler: The Jews put man-boob hormone in my sushi, tooth-yellowing agent in my sake, and mind-control substance in my crack!

The Jews shall be defeated in a worldwide Wrestling Championship! All your Zion are belong to us!

---

The Al-Buruj people agreed: only Jews would be so wrong-headed as to oppose such great causes as the destruction of Israel and the surrender of the West to Islam.

---

Let's be fair - not all Jews are evil. There is a number of progressive, self-hating Jews who support the annihilation of Israel, who travel to Tehran, and who kiss Ahmadinejad on the mouth (see below). Peace activists can respect that. All the other Jews are, of course, evil. And the numbers of evil Jews at Columbia that day prevailed over the Red Jihad coalition.

---

The Zionists in the crowd played their usual mind games, imposing cognitive dissonance on the motorists. "Honk if Bush is a Terrorist" and "$300 Fine if you Honk." Moral choice versus materialism? They should be sued for challenging peace-loving progressives with having two conflicting thoughts at the same time.

---

Idealistic Progressive Activist:
Oh sure, we've been here all afternoon taking the names of those who resist progress. These papers in my hand are the lawsuits we are filing against the scoundrels who think they can protest against World Peace and cause us to have cognitive dissonance. The "honk" trick alone can lead to a psychological trauma endangering one's progressive behavior. Umm, you said you were from the New York Times, right? This is off the record, I assume?

---

Do the right-wingers have any idea who they're up against? Let's see...

Peace (from The People's Glossary)

"The meaning of peace is the absence of opposition to socialism" (Karl Marx).

The essense of the international peace movement is, therefore, to fight opposition to socialism and shake the foundations of capitalism until the Party gains control of the government and silences thoughtcriminals by legislative means. Until then, all those who oppose socialism must be denounced as enemies of peace, child murderers, and war criminals.

---

The need to advance the dream of World Peace may involve violent uprisings, looting, and extermination of enemies of World Peace. To the uninitiated such activities may look like war, but in reality it is struggle for World Peace. When a progressive group engages in mass murder, torture, imprisonment, deportations, and terror, they are only advancing Peace. But when the U.S. government tries to stop them, it endangers World Peace with imperialist wars of aggression.

---

That's why Ahmadinejad is a friend of peace, while George Bush is an evil warmonger. Other noted fighters for World Peace include Yaser Arafat, Carlos the Jackal, Unabomber, Saddam Hussein, and Joseph Stalin (who organized and financed the first international peace movements).

---

The unifying theme for the progressives at this rally was not as much Iran of which they knew nothing, but a transcendental hatred for Bush.

We only wish they had contacted the People's Cube in advance for better and more radical slogans, like...

• The Truth Will Give You Cancer
• Bush is the Reason You Needed a Root Canal!
• Vote for Osama (D-Afg)
• I Want Ahmadinejad's Baby!
• Green Cards To Gitmo Prisoners!
• Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Kim Jong Il
• Death to America '08!

---

The Neocons had a greater number of signs, no doubt paid for by Rupert Murdoch and Halliburton.

---

The centerpiece of right-wing propaganda was a group of young men from The American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property (TFP) with large banners and a bagpipe. This was counter-revolution at its worst. What is TFP if analysed from the correct perspective of the Greater Good™?

Tradition is what the progressives are trying to replace with political correctness

Family is a repository of wrong ideas, violence, perversity, and home cooking. Parents are the scum of history to be replaced shortly by experts whose skill at social engineering will make the family an obsolete nightmare.

Property is a false concept because no one has the moral right to claim ownership to the world's limited resources that belong to everybody.

---

Representatives of the progressive Religion of Peace promptly confronted these Catholic scoundrels and explained to them the true meaning of Tradition, Family, and Property by repeatedly calling them morons. The TFP guys were guilty of refusing to acknowledge the wonderful advantages of multiculturalist immigration policies set up by Ted Kennedy, including the Diversity Lottery that awarded green cards to anyone in the world simply because they were diverse - especially if they had different ideas about Tradition, Family, and Property - like these supporters of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

---

Tired of such negativity, Mahmoud's supporters returned to displaying their more positive messages, such as, "May Allah Make A Mushroom Cloud Over 'Israel'!"

Claiming that Iran needs nuclear fuel for

peaceful purposes while wishing that Allah nuke Israel is the result of the same logic as used by Muslim radicals when they claim that 9/11 was carried out by Zionists and then threaten to do it again.

Apparently multiculturalist immigration policies also welcome radically different ideas about logic.

---

Now let's put these two images together:

---

The Progressives soon joined them in the pen protected by the NYPD from the Zionist aggressors. They might as well started chanting, WHAT DO WE WANT? SHARIA LAW! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? NOW!

Islam is today's most politically correct religion of choice. Its wild popularity with the Western liberals following the attacks on America has caused the cultural elites to give up Paganism and other progressive cults in favor of Islam.

---

Progressive Peace Activist:
Islamic radicalism is a way oppressed minorities of the Third World conduct class struggle against white imperialists, reactionary Christians, and Zionist colonialists. They hate the Western lifestyle and bourgeois morals as much as we do - and that's all one needs to do in order to have our full support and cooperation. We'll sort our philosophical differences after the Western civilization collapses. I think.

---

A middle-school history teacher enlightens the crowd about the peaceful nature of the Islamic Republic of Iran, maintaining that until 1948 no wars ever occurred on planet Earth and that she never heard of Hamas, Hezbollah, Islamic Jihad, or any Iranian weapons and operatives in Iraq killing Americans.

---

Progressive Democrats and Third World's Anti-Semite Minorities stand side-by-side as they alert the world - and Iran in particular - to be weary of the Joooooos! Carefully monitor them, President Ahmadinejad! Iran needs a good set of Nuremburg Laws before it is too late!

Oppressed Third World Minority to the interviewing journalist:
That's what I said, Mr. Journalist. If anyone understands the Jewish question it is Hillary. I mean, didn't she call Harold Ickes a "Jew bastard"?

Americans better vote for her if they don't want another 9/11 - which was, of course, the work of the Zionists!

---

Time for another montage...

---

Communist Activist from RevCom:
There are about 1.2 billion Muslims in the world, many of whom pray daily for the destruction of Jews and Israel. It is mandatory, therefore, for all progressive organizations to display a fervent support for Islamism, denounce Zionism, and compare Jews to the Nazis.

The opportunity to recruit 1.2 billion Muslim supporters is just too good to let go; if that means watching a few million Jews pushed into the sea and drown, it's all for The Greater Good™, wouldn't you say?

---

We are currently working on helping the Muslims to accept our definition of them as an oppressed minority under the umbrella of international Marxism. It works. It really works.

---

Is her burqa worse than her bite?

Progressive Unveiled Iranian Female:
I tried flaunting my hooters over in Iran but I always got rocks upside my head. Then I got arrested by the Moral Police and so I agreed to be sent to America and parade my big tatas there while agitating for the Islamic Republic and against Israel. If I go back to Iran, there's a hole in the ground and a pile of stones waiting for me. My plans for the future? To join the "Breasts not Bombs" campaign where I might get more exposure.

---

Other international guests included Borat Sagdiyev and his producer who came to denounce the Zionist-Imperialist entity known as "Israel" on behalf to make benefit for glorious country Kazakhstan.

---

The progressive characters above were countered by two right-wing superheroes who were later reported to an ACLU / NLG non-partisan activist and removed for displaying non-Islamic religious "materials" in public view. Their trial is currently pending.

Mr. MORAL CLARITY

Mr. AMERICA

---

At the end of this serious event came an unexpected comic relief:

Smoking the Kosher Herb

A group of Yiddish-speaking ultra-orthodox Jewish supporters of Ahmadinejad showed up to advocate for the annihilation of Israel, Islamic Revolution, and Egyptian slavery. It was the same group that attended Iranian Holocaust Conference in 2006.



Bad Hair Day.

Moishe ben Gefehlenmishpochah had to hide the sorry state of his forelocks under the hat. "It's absolutely impossible to get a decent Peyos 'set' in Tehran," he lamented later.

If they had contacted the People's Cube we'd have given them more effective signs:



One could go on...



Up Against The Wall:

Pro-Ahmadinejad Jews debate whether to face The Wall and pray, or face outward and wait for their turn to be shot while carrying a sign that says "Judaism dictates Jewish subservience to all nations."



Three youths attempt to illustrate the content of their sign by miming "See no evil, Hear no evil, and Speak no evil" while their two compatriots on the left argue whether "speak no evil" is being correctly mimed.



Pull My Finger

Rabbi Shmuelly ben Simpkopf tells the story of his first meeting with Ahmadinejad:

"So, I walked up to him and I said... Mahmoud... Pull my finger... and he did! And then I pulled his finger... and we became good friends."

---

---

Media reporters wasted no time to beat Flat Gareth to all the choice pickings of Hippie pussy. As shown: a reporter chats up a young radical hoping to score for world peace, socialism and someone to make him breakfast in the morning.

---

The media was represented by an Eyewitness News van with blinded windows, a teleprompter with direct feed from Laika the Space Dog, and a great number of shiny objects.

---

But The People's Cube outshone them all. Its predictable certainty of unerring, historically inevitable outcome, is the model for the correct and predictable journalism of our progressive media

---

But then the Cube was stolen from our hands by Zionist Michelle Malkin and we had to retreat to our underground bunker.

---

What have we learned?

The main question of the Columbia rally was, of course, "Who's the real threat to World Peace - Mahmoud or George?" Based on what we learned today, the correct answer is, as always, George Bush.



NOTE: All quotes in this reporting are fake but accurate. The photos, however, are real and available in high resolution.
 

I'm telling the Hebrew Hammer!
 

Not only did Michelle Malkin abduct the People's Cube right before our eyes, she's now bragging about it on her blog -

I Have The People’s Cube

We've been exposed, comrades! The Politburo must retreat to the underground bunker. The rest of the Party must quickly melt away into the countryside and regroup. Like Lenin and Stalin, we shall penetrate the tundra, the taiga, and the steppes of the great American Motherland. Keep your Red Cube receivers handy, you shall soon hear the transmission instructing you of the Party-approved course of action.

Malkin's People's Cube is of standard issue, containing the same receiver of signals directly from Laika the Space Dog. Luckily she doesn't realize that one must wear a tinfoil hat to hear them. If anything, the frequency will affect her subliminally. Comrade Kenneth will be monitoring the progress.

Kenneth? Has anybody seen Kenneth? What's the frequency, Kenneth? Well, if you see him tell him the Party has a new assignment for him and Laika.
 

Retreat?  Flee?  Comrade, I can barely move after enjoying all this free HBO!
 

Quote:

Not only Michelle Malkin stole the People's Cube, she's now bragging about it on her blog


Red,
You have outdone yourself again. The Malkin blog entries indicate some confusion from her readers. You may wish to define the word satire on the mother page.

My nightmare is that this is what you endure daily in New York??!!!!!!
If so, send them to me in Wyoming. I have a Prize Ram I wish to introduce them to.
 

I just inserted another cutout character of Islamic Rage Boy into the post above, after an alert comrade reminded us about the omission. This was an important omission. The entire Creative Directorate #11 at the Propaganda Department have already picked their shovels and are on the chu chu train heading north for a five-year creative hiatus. We hope that healthy tundra air will help them raise their awareness of the Current Truth.

Flat Islamic Rage Boy (update)

 

<OUT OF KARAKTER>

There were many good pictures I snapped at the rally but couldn't possibly use them all. I'll just post this one, of a fragile young woman wearing Israel Defense Forces T-shirt, who remained calm and focused in the midst of the madhouse roaring around her. What was she looking at? The collection of the Islamic Rage Boys on the other side of the police barrier.


 

With such excellent quality photography, we can be sure that all of these enemies of the state will be identified, and then, er, ...reprogrammed.
 

oowooowowoo......me so dizzy.......
 

I think it would be funny to see flat Garth behind these Muslims.


 

I'm really glad nakedness is not part if the radical islam, wacko, leftist, nutcase, jewish WTF'rs and all the other crazies I didn't mention.

There must be a developing gene problem going on..........

(Finger to lips like Daffy Duck™)
 

Information overload!  

I too like the Hippie Pussy!

The thought of the Jooooooooos joining us, I submit, is the best!  But, what are they thinking?  

The Joooooos hair thing certainly fits into the Hippie thing are they too looking for this mysterious pussy?

All these pictures of Akmadman kissing men?  Shoudn't we stone him?

I think the Vodka will calm me down.
 

Quote:

I'm really glad nakedness is not part if the radical islam, wacko, leftist, nutcase, jewish WTF'rs and all the other crazies I didn't mention.
There must be a developing gene problem going on..........

Please go to the following for the gene thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfaB2EPC ... ed&search=
 

Comrade Hasan

I think it would be funny to see flat Gareth behind these Muslims.
I think I got it....



Only in this context he should be called not Flat Gareth but Flat Gershel. After all, the other sign says "Learn a lesson from these Jewish protesters here."
 

I don't understand... all the signs had conflicting messages, and yet they are all on the same side?  It's as if they had multiple personalities that supported each other, but had no idea what the other's real intentions were while at the same time saying that they knew exactly what was going on with each other.  I'm so confused!
 

Quote:

a fragile young woman wearing Israel Defense Forces T-shirt, who remained calm and focused in the midst of the madhouse roaring around her. What was she looking at? The collection of the Islamic Rage Boys on the other side of the police barrier.

Is it a thought crime to know exactly what someone (IDF Girl) is thinking just by looking at this picture? I know exactly what she is thinking as she looks at the Islamic rage boys.
 

Komrades

Once again I lament that the progressive hero AchthewomenIdidn'tjab did not pluck up the courage to brave a visit down under to our fascist dictatorship so much in need of a green revolution. You Amerikkkans don't know how lucky you are.

Why, Mahmoud (sigh) would have loved to have met such famous Stray-yan-progressives like this one



Lenin rest his soul. Sob. He always loved doing so much at once. Sniff. Sure, he may have pretended that his agenda was purely a love for animals and conservation  rather than being a deep-seeded fanatical hatred for capitalism, cars, John Howard, America and Joooz. But we were willing to change him, by Lenin, and we would have, had he not been taken so soon. Excuse me, I must go an mourn once more for what might have been.

Red Square

There were many good pictures I snapped at the rally but couldn't possibly use them all. I'll just post this one, of a fragile young woman wearing Israel Defense Forces T-shirt, who remained calm and focused in the midst of the madhouse roaring around her. What was she looking at? The collection of the Islamic Rage Boys on the other side of the police barrier.

Red, what an utterly brilliant photo. Any chance of a hi-rez copy? I wanna frame that.

Beez
 

Ooh, I'm just melting away with a warm, fuzzy feeling from all this Revolutionary activity. The great synthesis of the Diverse proletariat is coming to pass! And the People's Cube has captured it for us, for all posterity. This post will be on display in the great Museum of the People, that we will erect, so help me Hegel, on the ruins of the first Western city to be destroyed by the forces of the Greater Good. I can't write anymore, I have such a lump in my throat from the joyous convergence of progressive forces, so well documented. The running dogs of imperialism can feel our power. There is no turning back! Empress, empress, take me away....
 

Beezelbob Brown

Any chance of a hi-rez copy? I wanna frame that.
The original is about 1MB and it's a straight detailed photo. I applied the "radial blur" filter later, to the smaller and slightly cropped image. I can email you the original, or if you rather wait I can crop the larger image and apply the filter to it - maybe over the weekend.
 

When elected I promise to re-establish diplomatic relations with Iran and make Barney Frank ambassador. From what I understand, there is a dire lack of diversity in Tehran. Dr. Ahmadinejad's comments were a cry for help and of hope. I will also send Madonna to Afghanistan and the Indigo Girls to Syria This will bring a greater understanding between our cultures and help bring about world peace and The Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.
 

Hill, if you were to actually promise to make Barney Frank ambassador to Iran you just might win. Campaign promises of that nature will get you more votes than socialized health care. There must be more of such promises. This is how you can capture the heartland vote.
 

SNL - Iran So Far (Ahmadi nejad)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8oMq9P3PGjM

BB
 

Red Square

There were many good pictures I snapped at the rally but couldn't possibly use them all. I'll just post this one, of a fragile young woman wearing Israel Defense Forces T-shirt, who remained calm and focused in the midst of the madhouse roaring around her. What was she looking at? The collection of the Islamic Rage Boys on the other side of the police barrier.
<OUT OF KARAKTER>
Isnt it funny how some things can make absolute sense in utter chaos. Those that have the confidence in the absolute outcome need not fear the gyrations and riff-raff of a putrid part of society. That Peace shows as a light in a sea of self indulgence and stupidity. (either that or shes waiting for her moment to go Jackie Chan on Islamic rage wannabes)
 

<OUT OF KARAKTER>
I was at the rally with some friends, including a daughter of an Iranian journalist and a political prisoner, who had actually dragged me out of the house so I could be there too. Then Michelle Malkin showed up, and right after the short but sweet Cube Award ceremony (see photo op above), Michelle took my Iranian friend aside for a video interview.

Here is that interview, shot against the same setting as the story above, capturing the same scenes and characters.


 

My people are beautiful
Stand proud and say it loud
What unites The People?
To stand out in the crowd

Shy Muslims represented
Don't call us demented
That's the only thing not allowed
 

I think we should hire or at least offer an NEA or NEH grant to the wonderfully progressive folks at al-buruj.com.  Their mastery of subtle and well-produced propagan...er...TRUTH was much in evidence at the Ahmarecentfad Rally.  I visited their website and it was so progressive that I couldn't understand half of the hate-filled scree...er...reasoned arguments they presented, which is a true sign of their veracity and sophistication.  They have released themselves from the bounds of outdated Western ideas such as logic and evidence and embraced a higher level of conciousness in their tireless revelation of the ancient connection between the Joos and the Bush family throughout history.
 

Comrades,
I urge a party-planned moment of panic starting... now!  Notice, comrades, how all the faithful party member females comprising this rally are extremely homely-like and all the capitalist swine females opposing this rally are really truly hot!  I mean, Michelle Malkin, the IDF babe, the video of IDF ladies, the redhead with the flag, the lovely Iranian dissident interviewed by MM, by Lenin even the deceased young lady at the end of the video.  All attractive young women.  And then the party has ... Flat Fatima?  Green shirted beak nose woman?  Orange mamma?  Blue shirted scrunchy-face?  Lawsuit Lucy?  We have one, comrades, ONE sizzler in an Iranian shirt.

This poses a problem for the party.  We need more hot commie babes at these rallies!  I propose a new wing of the party in charge of weeding out the homely females and putting them in less... shall we say... public venues (such as the rubber stamp verifying office); and another wing of the party (a different wing) in charge of recruiting some hotsie totsies for any public demonstration of the party's sentiments.  

Perhaps the name of the department could be; People's Undersecretary for Selection of Sweet Youngthings ... or, um, something.
 

Sea-Bass

Quote:

a fragile young woman wearing Israel Defense Forces T-shirt, who remained calm and focused in the midst of the madhouse roaring around her. What was she looking at? The collection of the Islamic Rage Boys on the other side of the police barrier.

Is it a thought crime to know exactly what someone (IDF Girl) is thinking just by looking at this picture? I know exactly what she is thinking as she looks at the Islamic rage boys.

These videos are highly subversive and must be removed by the party (and put in my private vault for future viewing)
 

Dahlinks! It is wise to use the Islamo-fascists to garner power for the Cube but it is also wise to watch them. Remember, the Party opposes all religious behavior because we all know that all devotion should be to the State not to some invisible guy named "Allah." Once we have gained all power, we will have to send the Islamo-fascists to the gulag for immediate reprogramming.

Is Natasha the only one seeing a very uncanny resemblance between the two men in the photos entitled "A picture is worth a thousand Words?" They look like father and son. What would we do without the fathers and mothers who never grew up and grew wise as to our true intentions? Thank goodness for lemmings, silly young college students and immature group-think adults! The Party would be lost without them!

Once the Party has gained world power, we will have to stop paying these protestors to protest and actually put them to work in our factories, fields and schools. This life of leisure spent holding signs of protest will have to end. After all, screaming, yelling, marching and holding signs will not make the bread, guns and future programmed party members now will it?  Off to the gulag with them if they are unable to adapt to a life of hard work!

Natasha (Hard at work watching all religious yahoos)
 

I'm also promising to let Ahmadinejad sleep in The Lincoln Bedroom, but before I do that, does anybody have a home cure for removing goat stench and camel farts?
I'm also thinking of installing a bed vibrator and cabal TV with HBO there after I'm coronated. You know, make the guests more comfortable. Of course there would be a surcharge, made payable to ME for those little extras.
I have it booked through July 2012 already.
$10,000 per night. Cheap.
 

We need more hot commie babes at these rallies!  I propose a new wing of the party in charge of weeding out the homely females and putting them in less... shall we say... public venues (such as the rubber stamp verifying office);

Observation, wouldn't this idea render our best candidate for President useless?

I like hot babes with small ankles also, but they don't look as good in boots as Hillary's does!
 

Comrade Abcedarius Rex!  Comrade Bubalasky!  I am outraged by your sexist, backward remarks about my struggling ugly sisters vs what you call hot capitalist babes!  

We progressive gals pride ourselves on being equal to you men in every way possible, from our hairy legs and our muscles built up from long hours of shoveling fertilizer and other resources for the Party, to our ability to take a leak anywhere, toilet seat be damned, to our boobs that sag like yours will once you reach old age--only ours will sag down further, longer, leaving you men with sick, yes, literally sick with sagging boob envy.  

First of all, those "hot capitalist babes" in your feverish imaginations are the products of pure artifice . . . slavery . . . and yea, even cruel death.  They paint their faces and style their hair using all manner of environmentally-unfriendly, planet-destroying, Global Warming-causing, Gore-enraging chemicals manufactured by big evil corporations that make millions of dollars in profit that they share with no one save--well, shareholders, but that's not the same as sharing their wealth with all of us as they should.  These greedy corporations call the evil Bush-like chemicals they manufacture "cosmetics."

Millions of cute adorable rats with delightful twitchy whiskers and darling pink tails,  who've never done a damn thing to hurt you, are horribly tortured, maimed, waterboarded, their Korans taken away from them, all to test the effectiveness of the cosmetics you see painted on your fancied "hot capitalist babes." Afterward they're brutally murdered by a cruel, agonizing form of death known as "lethal injection."

And why do these so-called babes paint their faces?  Ever hear one of them say, "I have to put my face on before I go out"? What's that tell you, Sherlock?  Why, that they can't go out without putting on their faces!  Literally!  They're blank on the outside, empty on the inside, little more than mindless, pitiless, unfeeling, uncaring droids just waiting to be programmed by the likes of talk radio and Fox News.

Such are conservatives!  

That said, I wonder if Bush and Cheney wear cosmetics?  I believe Nixon did.  The phony crap dribbled down his face under those hot TV lights when he debated Kennedy; why, he looked like the droid Ash who malfunctioned in the movie "Alien."  

Anyway, back to your phony hot capitalist babes.  There's a reason my sisters and I look so wonderfully, earthily natural, while your right wing chickies look so--well, so phony.  Plastic surgery, boys!  It's big business nowadays!  Big Business!  And who's in cahoots with Big Business?  Why, none other than those evil, hateful, mean-spirited, baby kitten eating Republicans!  

Those women are so plastic with all their boob work and eye work and butt work, their painted on faces, their oh-so-perfect hair, that they're nothing more than oversized Barbie dolls, guys!  

"Huh huh," you grunt and scratch your hairy paunchy bellies, "I'll take Barbie any day!  I used to play and dismember my sister's Barbies, huh huh huh!"

Then surely you know, Comrade Beavis and Comrade Butthead, that Barbie is missing certain key features you men highly prize, ergo so are your hot capitalist babes; and not only that, but Barbie has a copyrighted trademark embossed on her butt cheek.  Not pretty.    

And just like Barbie, your hot capitalist babes want stuff, Fancy Expensive Chick Stuff, as in they will expect YOU to provide it for them, no matter whether you can afford it.  I'm talking diamond jewelry that's been mined by children who have no union benefits.  Furs ruthlessly ripped from the bodies of cute adorable minks and darling chinchillas and cuddly porcupines.  You'll have to buy her Barbie's Dream House with elevator.  And Barbie's Dream Hummer, Dream RV, Dream Spa, Dream Home Theater that ONLY plays chick movies starring NOT more hot capitalist babes like Barbie or MM, but ideal Progressive paragons like Sally Field, Shirley MacLaine, and Jane Fonda.  

And the clothes.  Don't forget the clothes.  And the shoes.  Millions of them, enough to shod two continents as long as one of them isn't Antarctica.      

That gettin' ya hot yet, boys?  But wait, it doesn't end there!  Next she's going to want Dream Guy (aka "Ken").  You think you're Dream Guy?  He's clean cut, muscular, makes at least $100k annually, wears a tie to work, takes out the garbage before it falls over, puts down the toilet seat, doesn't scratch his pits at the dinner table, or slouch in front of the TV  cleaning his nails with the antique letter opener that belonged to Barbie's great-great grandmother.  And Barbie doesn't like walking into the bathroom to find "Dream Guy" using her $250 hair removal system to extract the stuff growing out of his nose and ears.

Oh, and by the way . . . Barbie doesn't like to have her hair mussed, or her makeup smeared, if you know what I mean.  She gets headaches from drinking too many Starbucks lattes and not enough vodka.

Still think you've got what it takes for a "hot capitalist babe?"            

Be patient, men!  Courage!  Be not tempted by those so-called "hot capitalist babes." They're nothing but mythical sirens, luring you to the jagged rocks of capitalist disaster.  Instead look forward to the day when Hillary sweeps to power in all her glory, and all of us progressive women whom you deride as ugly and repulsive, shall become as truly and naturally beautiful as the phony capitalist babes with their paint and their mousse and their assorted plastic parts.  

How, you ask?  The Empress has a plan.  I know that upon her ascension, I and my sisters' ugliness will melt away to pure beauty--no longer shall we be beasts!--and it will happen just as magically and wonderfully as the Empress will finance and sign into law her Universal Health Care, 5k for every child, and bring our troops home!  Oh yes!  

O Glory Hallehillary!

P.S.  Now you guys take back what you said!  I want you to ask our Democrat friends in Congress to pass a resolution condemning your remarks!  I want you to apologize on every talking head show.  I want to see you go groveling on The View--and see if Whoopi wants to do YOU!

And if you don't, then 10 years from now when Hillary goes looking for a couple of guys to help her out with something and favors you two, I'm going to come forward and tell her what you said on this day--and become a heroine for all progressive women everywhere!
 

Good luck with all that!
 

I read and I cried, Comrade Pinkie. This speech deserves its own topic, if you're willing to present it as such on the People's Blog. The collective will supply the illustrations.

The theme as I see it would be "The Conservative Chicks Are From Venus, The Progressive Chicks Are From Uranus."

What about Mars you ask? When Hillary wins we shall finally colonize the Red Planet - and guess who we will populate it with!
 

Comrade Pinky,
I laughed so hard I choked.  Thank you.  
At least in comparing myself to Dream Ken my apparatus has not been sawn off by an apparatchik.
Nevertheless, I will amend my ways and ogle only hairy progressive beasts from now on.
Whoopi Goldberg will become my new idol and I will pin this picture up in my little red cubicle:
http://www.zombietime.com/hillary_sf_of ... video3.jpg
and this one too (she's my gyro)
http://www.zombietime.com/nude_protest_ ... G_2266.JPG
 

Red Square

"The Conservative Chicks Are From Venus, The Progressive Chicks Are From Uranus."


I still laugh at this joke even 20 years after middle school!
 

When in doubt Comrade Pinky whip the Kitty out...

And show Ken what he's really in for!




 

[quote="Pinkie"]Comrade Abcedarius Rex!  Comrade Bubalasky!  I am outraged by your sexist, backward remarks about my struggling ugly sisters vs what you call hot capitalist babes!  

Face the facts Pinkie, you are a hot Commie Babe!  Are you Maureen Dowd or Rosie Odonnell, I must know!
 

Red Square

I read and I cried, Comrade Pinkie. This speech deserves its own topic, if you're willing to present it as such on the People's Blog. The collective will supply the illustrations.

The theme as I see it would be "The Conservative Chicks Are From Venus, The Progressive Chicks Are From Uranus."

What about Mars you ask? When Hillary wins we shall finally colonize the Red Planet - and guess who we will populate it with!

Sir, you have the power.  You have the technology.  You have the means to move this post and its subsequent comments elsewhere and frame it, illustrate it, distort it and take it out of context however you please.  You can make it stronger, better, faster.

You need only tell me what to do, and what to think--using as many single-syllable words as possible, please, as George W. Bush did not make the No Child Left Behind program retroactive to my own benefit.
 

Red Square

There were many good pictures I snapped at the rally but couldn't possibly use them all. I'll just post this one, of a fragile young woman wearing Israel Defense Forces T-shirt, who remained calm and focused in the midst of the madhouse roaring around her. What was she looking at? The collection of the Islamic Rage Boys on the other side of the police barrier.



"I can tell you Leon, this one will not go quietly...Leon, do we still have my cologne ''Red Moscow"?."

"We drunk it last night, with Nadezhda"

"Damn..."

"I will take care of the zionist Cinderella myself.
With all the faults Jews have one positive characteristic: Clean Women."


Lovingly,
Iron Felix
 

 

Now THERE'S a hat for a real man! Keep that in mind, comrades, when you try to think of an appropriate Secular Winter Solstice Festival gift for a loyal Party academician....
 

Do I sense hat envy again?
 

hey... that hat was supposed to be top secret. i bet the new york times is involved.
 

Quote:

Do I sense hat envy again?


Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

....Yes.
 

Nothing blows off the lid like this one. I hear you...