Comrades, Comrades, please -- all of this talk of sex is in very, very poor taste. We as Bolsheviks have certain moral parameters we must adhere to and uphold. Why, even Stalin himself would be ashamed, if not horrified, to see two excellent members of the Party talk of such carnal intrigues. Bolsheviks, true Bolsheviks, are the model of modesty, decency and absolute ruthlessness as opposed to the model of sexual perversion, indecency and petit bourgeoisie pleasures and luxuries one would find in the decaying West.

Your life, like all of our lives, should be devoted to the service of the People and only the People. And no, talk of servicing the People is not what we would consider service to the People.

Now then, I'll let this banter slide this time around. However, if I catch anymore Party members talking about things of a scandalous nature than… than I will just have to tell the Madam Speaker and see what kind of arrangements she make with the accused.

BTW -- I heard you have been hoarding rations from your fellow Comrades, Skinnee Jay. Is this rumor true? Should I launch an investigation into this matter which would surely prove your guilt considering the mountain of evidence, testimony and key eye-witnesses that have already been forged, scripted and completely and totally fabricated?

Meow, your last paragraph indicates that you understand the dichotomous nature required for the party. What is versus what ought to be. Yes, a trial--where it's a lay-down.

But speaking of lay-downs, don't you think that all of this talk of sex is nothing more than a little boasting? Sort of "My Zil is bigger than your Zil" got somehow twisted to "My zizi is bigger than your zizi."

Of course it could be that we're all a bunch of decrepit, toothless old farts who only remember, and vaguely at that, how it all works.

I heard there's a unique feature to the Hamas armor: It features female babies to male freedom fighters and vice versa, in order to increase sex drive. Hamas supports sex. If anyone says otherwise, he's brainwashed by Zionist propaganda.

If we are not servicing the people, how do we create more People to be serviced by The State?

(out of Karakter)

Unless we do like that crazy broad in Kalifornia did, and get enough embryos implanted to have a litter that would put a dog to shame...

Comrade Meow,

While religion may be the Opiate of the Masses, there is much truth to the joke that if one is holding two balls, he has a man's undivided attention.

And is our revolution that compartmentalized? Do we desire just the labors of our subject peasants comrades, and not their hearts and minds as well?

This is one of the reasons we kicked the West's heiney in the diplomatic game during the relatively bloodless war of styling and profiling against western imperialism (1945-1991). We had to cater to their culture, make the revolution appealing to them in terms they could understand. Which, sometimes, includes the baser more fundamental aspects of our nature.

DDR, the reason that we have been successful is that we have been very good at defining tastes. It's just cool to be progressive. I mean, all that feeling and sensitivity. I love to feel things. It's easy to feel things. I hate thinking though because when I think, first my head hurts, and second I might actually think something that wouldn't reflect well on me.

And the first thing that a Made Progressive knows is that it's tastes not ethics that count. Repeat after me: Tastes, good, ethics, bad.

Our success has been to make thinking about ethics so very uncool that it's just not done, so people can feel good and then sneer at all those grumpy old conservatives--spit, spit, spit--and so, first, we get to do what we want, and second, we never have to justify it.

Remember: Being a progressive means never having to say you're sorry.

I think we should make this armor standard issue in our fight against the evil capitalists.

I agree with Comrade Joe. This way, we could raise the body count made by capitalism above the body count by Communism (<-Top liberal secret. Must be handled politically correctly in the Ministry Of Truth).

The Skinnee Jay wrote:I agree with Comrade Joe. This way, we could raise the body count made by capitalism above the body count by Communism (<-Top liberal secret. Must be handled politically correctly in the Ministry Of Truth).

Communism has never killed anyone but evil capitalists. Those same scum murdered, raped, and looted from innocent people in order to frame us. That is the Party line.

Communism means everything to everyone. It provides for everything. It's only fitting that it has to take everything. And so by definition anything which doesn't require you to think is good, and capitalists, which do their own thinking, are bad.

More like Israeli baby seeking missile. Hows that for a hilarious photoshop?

lambchowder wrote:More like Israeli baby seeking missile. Hows that for a hilarious photoshop?

Well,damn...you're quite the typical little liberal,aren't ya?
Got the whole "Israel is a baaaaaad country" thing down pat.

Come on,give us some more progressive gems,lambkin.

LNT, Hamas is <i>so</i> progressive. They strap bombs onto women with Downs syndrome. And since they're retarded, and women, they're worth nothing.

But the <i>real</i> Palestinian hero made the supreme sacrifice for Allah: he strapped a bomb onto his one-year-old <i>son</i>. Sons are you know are worth something. in the Koran a woman's word is worth half of a man's word. So he really did mean it, to blow up his son.

Or maybe he borrowed one. Who knows?

Comparison of these two makes things much clearer:

Iyad Jamal al-Din, Iraqi MP: "The Iraqi people are a living people. They choose life over death."
<br>Fathi Hammad, Hamas MP: "We desire death like you desire life!"^TM

Al-Din is an obvious tool of the Bu$HITler and a result of torture, abuse, and crimes against humanity (and everything). Comrade Hammad is a true progressive and Brother Of the Revolution (BOR).^TM I think Comrade LambChowdah is exactly right! I'm sure Comrade Hammad could have invented an Israeli missile by now that seeks out Palestinian babies in order to better blame those filthy Joos and then push them into the sea, but our Hamas comrades were caught at the Egyptian side of the border after those fake peace talks with the evil Joos and the suitcases full of the money that they so desperately needed to do this were confiscated by the Enemies of the People.^TM Comrades, please, PLEASE, send your charitable donations to Hamas Inc. immediately! Yes We Can, Insha'Allah!^TM Remember, as always, it's For The Children!^TM

Of course it's for the Children(tm). I understand that GrrAnimals is making Baby Bomber clothes just for Palestine. Big roomy pockets for all that explosive. And mommy has a special baby hamper too. Not much room for diapers--why?--but lots of room for batteries, the cell phone to set it off, and of course many pockets for C-4. Because you never know when you might to blow up your child and without C-4, where are you?

C-4! The jihadist's best friend!

I thought their best friend was congress....

Betty, are you sure you are not confusing the People's Best Friend(TM) and the Jihadist's Best Friend(TM)?

I'm not too sure which is which anymore, to be honest.

Nothing can match the Brits for being the jihadists' best friend. Muslims march with huge fake noses and pretend to drink Palestinian baby blood; Israelis march, peacefully, and are told to put away the Israeli flag because it's inflammatory.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Nothing can match the Brits for being the jihadists' best friend. Muslims march with huge fake noses and pretend to drink Palestinian baby blood; Israelis march, peacefully, and are told to put away the Israeli flag because it's inflammatory.

The Germans did that too. How progressive!

And the Spanish. Recall how a bomb in Madrid threw the election. "We work to live. The Americans live to work."

They'll have to work to live at all, and if they're lucky they'll just be in dhimmitude instead of dead. Or, you know, doing all that Allah stuff.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:And the Spanish. Recall how a bomb in Madrid threw the election. "We work to live. The Americans live to work."

They'll have to work to live at all, and if they're lucky they'll just be in dhimmitude instead of dead. Or, you know, doing all that Allah stuff.

Europe seems to consist almost entirely of craven appeasers these days. And now one is in our White House. We will be very lucky if we live to see the next election.

Apparently Czech & current EU leader, Vaclav Klaus, has liked the EU to a new USSR today (Or so FauxNewsHD keeps telling me in the top right corner of the screen). He was greeted with the proper boos from the rest of his EU constituents.

Glorious times ahead!

Comrades, all trade is regulated in Brussels. If you sell using the English system instead of the metric, you commit a crime. Only approved sizes say of fruit can be sold. We regulate everything.

Yes We Can, Insha'Obamah!™

The Holy Hussein will lead us to the promised land.

We shall put down our arms and the lion shall lie with the lamb. And we're the lamb and we'll be taxed to death and then eaten alive.

Red Star wrote:Commissar Maksim you have gone too far! This sounds strangely like you are attempting to Sell this item. You should have stated this is free to Glorious freedom fighters.

SuperCommissar, I know where we can sell some of these to ignornant capitalist slut
with malignant-entitlement-syndrome,https://www.tmz.com/category/octomom/,
she will need maybe one dozen of these glorious freedom fighter clothing by now.
One problem is the great satan state of california may give you a medal because their economy will recover and this will look bad in your FSB file but you will be rich western hero
by then so who cares.

I think that this armor would look great on Nanski Belly Boobs Peloski. She's about the right mental age.

And Belly Boobs would make a great suicide bomber, er, freedom fighter. The Palestinians use Downs Syndrome girls as bombers, and if they've been able to train them, then surely, with enough patience, we could train Belly Boobs.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I think that this armor would look great on Nanski Belly Boobs Peloski. She's about the right mental age.

And Belly Boobs would make a great suicide bomber, er, freedom fighter. The Palestinians use Downs Syndrome girls as bombers, and if they've been able to train them, then surely, with enough patience, we could train Belly Boobs.

Yes Belly Boob can be trained for this but FSB has better plan in mind for her. Remember what Commrade Krushev said;
“The more bombers, the less room for doves of peace.”
She and her colleagues will dismantle the Main Advesary from within and we have her now perfectly placed for that operation.

We do need to be careful of Belly Boobs, though--she, a woman of no intelligence or talent, has managed to position herself as the most powerful woman in the world, even more than Our Many Titted Empress.

Getting there with no talent is a very strange sort of talent. Perhaps she knows where more bodies are buried than anyone else since J. Edgar Hoover.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:We do need to be careful of Belly Boobs, though--she, a woman of no intelligence or talent, has managed to position herself as the most powerful woman in the world, even more than Our Many Titted Empress.

Getting there with no talent is a very strange sort of talent. Perhaps she knows where more bodies are buried than anyone else since J. Edgar Hoover.

Da Nu! I see now why Party has pick you for Commissar of Caring and Impalement for Common Good. You have amazing power to state obvious. You are a real zvezdá "No intelligence or talent" how you think she become speaker for house, by her looks?
We cannot be discussing this in open place unless you want me become Vásja Púpkin at
Moscow Hospital. I am almost govnjúk now anyway for telling you this.

Vilhelm, on consideration I do think that Belly Boobs Peloski did make it on her looks. New evidence has come up that she went to Bonnie Fwank and said that if he didn't get her made Speaker that he'd find her naked in his bed. After Bonnie Fwank cleaned up his drawers, he started twisting arms.

She told Steny Hoyer that if she get to be Speaker she'd wind up naked in <i>his</i> bed. He blenched and started twisting arms. She did this to every single Democrat member of the house and all voted for her.

Of course Nanski Belly Boobs didn't phrase it quite like a threat. She said, "If you'll vote for me for Speaker I'll let you ride the Nancy train," and she started lpalpating her belly boobs, and leered at them, which in at least one case caused some of the stitches from her fifth face lift to part.
She was surprised by projectile vomiting from Sheila Jackson Lee. "Sheila. Sheila! I haven't ever made it with a proud, strong black woman from Texas but if that's foreplay in Texas, well, I've done stranger things in San Francisco. I learned everything that I know at <a href="https://zombietime.com/folsom_sf_2007_p ... x.php">The Folsom Street Fair</a>. I wonder why they don't invite me any more?"

Jackson Lee turned very pale and had to steady herself on her desk to keep from passing out.

"Nansky, I'll be <i>delighted</i> to make you Speaker of the House. If you'll just help me find my ass."

Nansky Belly Boobs took Sheila's hand and put it on her ass, and said, "Hillary taught me that trick."

And that is why Belly Boobs is Speaker of the House.

Just heard these jokes and thought whoops....what I meant to say is I knew, instinctively, that Comrade Whoopie would want to add these jems to his on-going comedy routine.....He's always hamming it up over at the People's Pub with his Improv!

Q: What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
A: "Live ammunition." BOOM! drum roll......and another:


An American Indian, A Muslim and a cowboy were traveling in the same train car.
The American Indian sadly announces, “Once we were many, now we are few”.
The Muslim arrogantly brags, “Once we were few, now we are many”.
The relaxed cowboy, boots kicked on the table, trying to nap, lifts his hat, spits his tobacco on the floor, looks at the Muslim and says, “We haven't played cowboys and Muslim yet.

Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, “I heard you were planning to leave me?” She replied, “Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!” Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, “that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."




And one last one; Si, comrades I will cease and desist after this one"

Q. Did you hear the one about the violent 53 year-old pedophile?
A. Yes. He is revered by one fifth of the world's population as the one who started the world's most intolerant, repressive, misogynistic and violent religion.
OK, no need to say it....


No, no need to thank me comrade. It was all for my pleasure...coughing as he spits on floor, choking on his cigar smoke from laughing so hard..........please someone stop me!

Very good, Che, but I believe that the second joke is originally about a Texan and not just any cowboy. We do things with style here.