Iowa Man Sues Clintons For Mental Whiplash

(DES MOINES, IOWA) A middle-age Iowa voter has filed a $12 million lawsuit against both Hillary and Bill Clinton for mental whiplash. According to papers filed yesterday in Iowa's Supreme Court, Andrew Wynehart has asked that the Clintons compensate him for lost wages, medical bills and emotional distress as a result of a series of mental injuries sustained repeatedly over the last six weeks. These injuries, termed "mental whiplash," have been defined by Wynehart's lawyers as, "the coherent, unexpected misdirection of the brain leading to cranial blur."

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Wynehart has submitted two MRIs as evidence taken before and after his medical setbacks. "The MRI taken this Friday morning clearly shows contusions to the left and right hemispheres, as well as sponginess in the frontal lobe," according to Perry Flinch of Dogget Flinch & Armbuster.

In his deposition, Wynehart states that he can no longer walk a straight line since it was disclosed on December 13th that Hillary Clinton is trying to lure out-of-state college students to participate in the Iowa caucuses. A day earlier Hillary had berated Barack Obama, her chief rival, for using the same tactics. "This is a process for Iowans," Hillary had said. "This needs to be all about Iowa, and people who live here, people who pay taxes here."

"Now you tell me, what am I supposed to believe?" Wynehart asked.

Wynehart thinks he probably suffered the worst damage during the Philadelphia debate in October hosted by Tim Russert, when Clinton was asked if she supported New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's plan to give drivers licenses to illegal aliens.

"In the space of 3:12 seconds I experienced a sudden extension and flexion of my brain as Hillary answered, didn't answer, could answer, couldn't answer, was for it, was against it, took responsibility, pawned off responsibility," Wynehart explained. "That's when the headaches, the dizziness, and the spine tingling began."

Wynehart began to have difficulty swallowing and chewing on November 28, immediately after Bill Clinton said that he had never supported the Iraq war, even though he's on record in 2002 and 2004 as supporting it. "I think that's when my condition began to get serious," he said.

"And it didn't help that this week Bill was parading around Iowa telling us how much he's always loved Hillary." While reclining in his La-Z-Boy, neck in a brace, index finger extended, Wynehart asked: "After all, did he or did he not have sex with that woman?"

A spokesperson for the Clintons stated that he knows a con when he sees one, and called the suit "bogus."

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APPENDIX:

 

Holy capitalism! You mean I get to make the first comment even while over in a far away time zone (DPRK)?! But I have nothing useful to add. Let's see... Oh, I know!

People Bush!

(No pun is intended, so please do not take this as an insensitive, homophobic statement.)
 

Quote:

A spokesperson for the Clintons stated that he knows a con when he sees one..."

(Well, he should, shouldn't he?)

Fortunately, the MTE, in her infinite grace and mercy, will save this undeserving, insolent brownshirt with her national healthcare plan. Help is on the way, sir. Oops.
 

If Hillary were to be crowned as our Beloved Empress, instead of having to go through this KKKapitalist system of an election for the people, this poor man would have been spared the trauma of having to think for himself. This is another reason why this so-called democracy will fail.
 

Mental whiplash? Come on! That condition is required to be a Hillary supporter. After a while, the pain will increase and your IQ will drop, causing you to vote for Hillarycare just to make your head stop throbbing.
 

Quote:

A spokesperson for the Clintons stated that he knows a con when he sees one


A 2 bit con thinks he can out con the dominatrix of con women, our Many Tittied Empress, Hillary Rodham Clinton??? I think not!!! He can be dealt with just like Vince Foster was.

BTW, Am I the only one that smells the stench of the VRWC at play here?

--
 

HOW DARE HE?! Hillary is the font from which all goodness flows, the very goddess incarnate, protector of the downtrodden, mother of all children, and the perfection of the New Soviet Woman. This hack, his shyster, and the charlatan "doctors" who fabricated the "medical evidence" should be flogged about the town square of Des Moines until they weep and rejoice at the very sound of the Empress's voice!

You see, comrades, this is the end product of the rot that is capitalism. Ambulance chasing lawyers trying to make a quick profit off some fabricated illness, blaming the blameless and lying about all that is good and pure. He should instead be thanking the Empress for creating flexibility in his little brain. Trust me, comrades: I know a few things about brain flexibility. A few more of these stretching exercises and he would be able to believe every word spoken in that angelic voice.
 

All wrong! This condition is this man's fault (or should I say Bush) for trying to apply logic to her majesty's speeches. When will the paroles learn, do not apply your own misconstructed logic, use OUR LOGIC, DANG IT! No matter how illogical it seems.
 

Zampolit Blokhayev

BTW, Am I the only one that smells the stench of the VRWC at play here?

--

I smell it, too. Now the VRWC thinks they can pull what they accuse our Empress of doing--planting a plant.

What Whiny Wiener Wynehart really wants is a leader who's narrow-minded. One who is exclusive, rather than inclusive. One who insists America must "stay the course." One who doesn't believe in change . . . of ANY kind.

WWW wants a dictator for life--and the only one who fits is . . . W.
 

Where the Clintons learned their giggles and cackles in the face of disaster:

Yeltsin tells critical reporters that nyet, he and Bill weren't a failure, it's the unfair press coverage of them that was a "failure."

Years later in Iowa, the Clintons are using the same line to explain the failure of Hillary's campaign - complete with the giggles.


 

Quote:

A middle-age Iowa voter has filed a $12 million lawsuit against both Hillary and Bill Clinton for mental whiplash. According to papers filed yesterday in Iowa's Supreme Court, Andrew Wynehart has asked that the Clintons compensate him for lost wages, medical bills and emotional distress as a result of a series of mental injuries sustained.



Can you say "Class Action Law Suit"? My eye sight has been damaged! I'm in!
 

Dr. Strangelove

Holy capitalism!

Dr. Strangelove, in respect for the very hot commie babe Pinkie, please say green capitalism!

I've included a very revealing picture of Pinkie with Obama for the Hillary camp to use. It may give her campaign a kick start!


 

A face only a Mother can Luv


 

This is your Brain on DrugsThis is your Brain on Hillary
 

Sorry Pinkie it had to come out!
 

Pinkie,

You're sneakier than I previously thought! Me thinks you are KGB. And I don't mean the Kollege for Gifted Bimbos. Salute!

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
 

Comrad Bubalasky

Sorry Pinkie it had to come out!

What, you mean the untouched (pick another word, Pinkie) virgin (thin ice, Pinkie, and it ain't from global warming) never-before-seen (yeah, that'll do) photo of the Empress, or--wait a minute, you mean that other picture that you say is of ME?

Nice try, Bubalasky, but this red headscarf hasn't left my head since I pulled it off from around darling, dying Che's neck to blow my nose with it as I wept over his body. It's all I have to remember him by.

That picture is probably of the Medium O-supporting librarian who--according to Chairman Meow--kidnapped him.

And I notice he's disappeared again. He must be cooking up a good one this time.

By the way, where did you get that photo of Her Excellency?

Oh, how I wish looked like her! I'm talking about the willowy blonde with Obama, of course.
 

He looks more like Lando Calrissian than Obama....


 

Orson Welles as Obama and Suzanne Cloutier as Hillary in The Tragedy of Sagging Ratings In Iowa (2008)


 

Once we're on the topic of the Medium O, an AP photographer has captured a moment on campaign trail, as Obama receives advice from a progressive campaign strategist.



In fact, there already was a remake named O.

We can make a remake of a remake called "Big O in Iowa." (An update of Shakespeare's 'Othello' with a modern cast, set on a campaign trail and centered around an aspiring presidential candidate Obama).
 

It was too good to let go


 

The currrent dictator has nearly ruined this place
He didn't know what to do with it
If you think the country's bad off now
Just wait till Komrad Klinton gets through with it.
 

Red Square

We can make a remake of a remake called "Big O in Iowa." (An update of Shakespeare's 'Othello' with a modern cast, set on a campaign trail and centered around an aspiring presidential candidate Obama).


I can hardly wait!
 

Ivan Betinov

Trust me, comrades: I know a few things about brain flexibility. A few more of these stretching exercises and he would be able to believe every word spoken in that angelic voice.

Absotootly! If our brave and generous Comrade Brain in a Jar, that as we can clearly see is not even strapped down with brain belts, is not injured by Hillary, how can this con think he can get away claiming injury?
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Nice try, Bubalasky, but this red headscarf hasn't left my head since I pulled it off from around darling, dying Che's neck to blow my nose with it as I wept over his body. It's all I have to remember him by.

Is Comrade Bubalsky trying to get in your headscarf again? The cad! But you have to hand it to him for his persistence.
 

Pupovich, I think Bubalasky is stalking me. He keeps posting all these pictures of me (or in this case, a picture he thinks is of me) all over the place, most notably on the "Planting with the Clintons for the Common Good" thread.

I think if I ever dared to venture into his mother's basement, garage, or attic, I'd find the walls plastered with pictures of a red-scarfed, red-nosed woman in different poses (the most popular being with her arm upraised).

Forget it, Bubalasky. As flattered as I am, I'm afraid my heart--and for that matter, the rest of my organs--belong to The Party.

And I'll be no one's HO but Empress Hillary's!
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Pupovich, I think Bubalasky is stalking me. He keeps posting all these pictures of me (or in this case, a picture he thinks is of me) all over the place, most notably on the "Planting with the Clintons for the Common Good" thread.

Hmmmm, this is a most disturbing thing for a comrade to be doing to a fine stalwart Party member such as you. I can see by my records that he is being serviced quite regularly in one of the Party Pleasure Palaces so that can not be the reason. My head is spinning envisioning the basement with your picture posted all over that you described.
 

Comrad Bubalasky

A face only a Mother can Luv



Not just a face only a mother could love, but a face an auctioneer can love...

Clinton invites voters to 'inspect' her

DUNLAP, Iowa - Standing atop a stage in a livestock auction barn, Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton likened the experience to her quest to woo undecided voters in the closing days before Iowa's pivotal caucuses.

"I've been to cattle barns before and sales before, in Arkansas, but I've never felt like I was the one that was being bid on," Clinton told a crowd in western Iowa. "I know you're going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want. I hope by the end of my time with you I can make the case for my candidacy and to ask you to consider caucusing for me."
 

Commissar Pupovich

DUNLAP, Iowa - Standing atop a stage in a livestock auction barn, Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton likened the experience to her quest to woo undecided voters in the closing days before Iowa's pivotal caucuses.

"I've been to cattle barns before and sales before, in Arkansas, but I've never felt like I was the one that was being bid on," Clinton told a crowd in western Iowa. "I know you're going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want. I hope by the end of my time with you I can make the case for my candidacy and to ask you to consider caucusing for me."

Comrades! Was this intended by the Goddess, Bearer of Womyn's Suffering, and Savior of Children (GBOWSASOC - hmmm, need a more clever abbreviation) as humor or irony? I don't want to fail the party by missing a cue for maniacal cackling or commiserating despondency. Please, tell me what to think!
 

That was most wise of you Kommissar Blogunov! Wait for a higher ranking Party equal to tell you what to think! This could well be a trap! That very real news story just sort of "smells" of barnyard Hillary, a trap one would be best not to step into if you get my drift.
 

That's left, Comrade Pup! Even if one is not at a livestock auction, there is still plenty of B.S. That one has to beware of on the campaign trail.

--
Blokhayev
 

I shudder at the very image of looking into the Empress' mouth! Lenin knows what Commissars might be found caught between her teeth. No doubt she has "money breath" as well, and that would be the only redeeming feature.
 

So what? What's the big deal? Mr. Reno and me had a "guys night out." Huma let me off the leash.
Damn, I haven't pounded that much Jack Daniels and smoked two squares of unfiltered Luckies in one night since the Moon landing.
hack....hack...cough

Ugh...my head hurts.

Where's my roofies? My Vitamin K?
 

I am new to this... do you prefer domestic or imported roofies? I have a fine selection of both your Empress.

I know this is normally the Chairman's job.... but since he is not here, I would be proud to provide this for you.
 

Suing her? He should be thanking her! Lesson learned: individual minds are dangerous and cause injury, don't use them. Only a collective mind, a People's Mind, if you will, will do. And that mind is Hillary Clinton's. You shouldn't "think" about what she is saying, just accept her words as your own thoughts. Nevermind, not "your own," "our own." Wait, the kkkapitalist concept of "ownership" is still present in that phrase. My Empress, tell me what to think! Tell me who to tax!
 

Your Excellency!!!

I recall the Chairman mentioning that he left a bottle of Viagra next to the bottle of 18yo Macallen single malt scotch.

Where is that Chairman? And why do I have a bad feeling that Sen. Frogface is going to be calling me sometime soon?

--
Blokhayev
 

The People's Taxman

...individual minds are dangerous and cause injury, don't use them. Only a collective mind, a People's Mind, if you will, will do. And that mind is Hillary Clinton's. You shouldn't "think" about what she is saying, just accept her words as your own thoughts...

"We are the LiBorg. Your financial and class distinctiveness will be added to our own. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."



-Mikhail
 

A People's Taxman? Hmmmm, wouldn't that be infringing on the Chairman? Then again, he has been pretty slack lately.... Taxes are down from what I understand. This will not do! I of course do not collect taxes as that is not part of my responsibility... nope, I only collect fees.
 

Commissar Pupovich

A People's Taxman? Hmmmm, wouldn't that be infringing on the Chairman? Then again, he has been pretty slack lately.... Taxes are down from what I understand. This will not do! I of course do not collect taxes as that is not part of my responsibility... nope, I only collect fees.
"My responsiblity," comrade? There's no such thing as "your" or "my" responsiblity. The only responsibility that exists is society's to the Greater Good. Also, I don't mean to infringe on anyone. It is my belief that you can never have too many tax collectors. If it appears so, taxes must be too low. Once the great Hillary Clinton gets into office, that problem will be solved!
 

Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

The People's Taxman

...individual minds are dangerous and cause injury, don't use them. Only a collective mind, a People's Mind, if you will, will do. And that mind is Hillary Clinton's. You shouldn't "think" about what she is saying, just accept her words as your own thoughts...

"We are the LiBorg. Your financial and class distinctiveness will be added to our own. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."



-Mikhail

I dated her once, all she would talk about is who she assimilated, how she assimilated them etc. If I wanted that kind of thing I could have saved some of the People's money and just read Hustler. She really is a HO.
 

The People's Taxman

"My responsiblity," comrade? There's no such thing as "your" or "my" responsiblity. The only responsibility that exists is society's to the Greater Good. Also, I don't mean to infringe on anyone. It is my belief that you can never have too many tax collectors. If it appears so, taxes must be too low. Once the great Hillary Clinton gets into office, that problem will be solved!

Not so Comrade, for you see, as Commissar of Eco Prostitution and Mental Health, it does not fall under my area to collect taxes per se, hence my fees. Which by the way, I notice from my books that you have fell behind on, and for which you are indeed responsible for, therefore I have to appropriate your vodka and beet rations for today to catch you up. Never forget, when you are late paying your fees, it takes potatoes from my workers at the Pup's Party Pleasure Palace, so lets not let this happen again comrade. Oh, and I will need your watch as well for a late fee. Happy Solstice comrade!
 

Red Jim

I dated her once, all she would talk about is who she assimilated, how she assimilated them etc. If I wanted that kind of thing I could have saved some of the People's money and just read Hustler. She really is a HO.

That is Hillary, not an operative. I realize the integration is subtle, so here's a comparison:

+ =

Hope that's a little clearer.
-Mikhail