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After nearly 5,000 hate-night broadcasts, Quagmire "ODB" Letterman remains one of the sickest and unfunniest dirty old men in the history of conservative-bashing on television.
~
TOP 10 NEW SLOGANS FOR DAVE AND CBS:
10. Anything Goes Here As Long As It's Not About A Liberal
9. Obama Jokes...Never Did 'Em, Never Will!
8. Bring On The Innocent Underage Daughters Of People We're Trying To Demonize
7. Bush. Too Stupid To Think Up The Really Cool Child-Rape Jokes
6. Remembering Comedy's Prime Directive: To Support Democrats
5. Biden? No, We Can't Think Of Anything Funny About Biden.
4. Why Are We Still Doing Palin Jokes? Because We're "Edgy!"
3. Praise Obama.
2. Why The Obsession With The Super Hot Alaska Governor? Have You SEEN Mrs. Letterman?
!?!
And the number one new slogan for Dave and CBS:
1. Sure Our Ratings Are Tanking, But We've Still Got Our Dignity!
-Irony Curtain
10. Anything Goes Here As Long As It's Not About A Liberal
9. Obama Jokes...Never Did 'Em, Never Will!
8. Bring On The Innocent Underage Daughters Of People We're Trying To Demonize
7. Bush. Too Stupid To Think Up The Really Cool Child-Rape Jokes
6. Remembering Comedy's Prime Directive: To Support Democrats
5. Biden? No, We Can't Think Of Anything Funny About Biden.
4. Why Are We Still Doing Palin Jokes? Because We're "Edgy!"
3. Praise Obama.
2. Why The Obsession With The Super Hot Alaska Governor? Have You SEEN Mrs. Letterman?
!?!
And the number one new slogan for Dave and CBS:
1. Sure Our Ratings Are Tanking, But We've Still Got Our Dignity!
-Irony Curtain
Dave claims that his 'impregnated by Alex Rodriguez'joke was meant to be about Governor Palin's 18-year-old daughter, Bristol, but...I think he might have actually been at the ballpark that day! He should have known Willow was with Governor Palin.
(I suspect it's a good thing we can't see his right hand...)
'You betcha!'
Looks like Dave has been stalking for a while!
Have you seen Dave?
Here's his head...
Here's his hat...
Both are in .gif file format and have a transparent background for your image manipulating pleasure!
Here's his head...
Here's his hat...
Both are in .gif file format and have a transparent background for your image manipulating pleasure!
Dave enjoying an afternoon in the park...
Nice list, Irony Curtain! Glad to see you lurking around. Welcome back.
I was thinking of writing a list of Letterman's Obama jokes for the picture, consisting mostly of bland praise and groveling NYT headlines. But I remembered about the Occam razor method and figured the same results could be achieved by simply copy-pasting dot-dot-dot...
I was thinking of writing a list of Letterman's Obama jokes for the picture, consisting mostly of bland praise and groveling NYT headlines. But I remembered about the Occam razor method and figured the same results could be achieved by simply copy-pasting dot-dot-dot...
The KGB is always lurking, always listening, always stalking...hey - I guess we're like Letterman but without the goofy hat!
Can't fault ol' Dave on that last one, RedPundit.
top 10 reasons to completely ignore David Letterman
10. humor is overrated
9. irony is a thing of the past
8. more fun can be had with your clothes off
7. Letterman? who's he?
6. Television is passe - internet is it!
5. When you're battling radiation sickness from the latest briefcase nuke detonated by Islamo-fascists late night TV just isn't as funny anymore.
4. Conversation with your family is more entertaining.
3. Watching beets grow is more entertaining.
2. In an age of Dane Cook, no one is safe, least of all washed up, boring, passe, liberal, ax-grinding wackos like Janeane Garofalo, David Letterman, and Woody Harrelson.
Number one reason David Letterman ought to be completely ignored...
1. latest mod for Left 4 Dead was just released on Steam.
10. humor is overrated
9. irony is a thing of the past
8. more fun can be had with your clothes off
7. Letterman? who's he?
6. Television is passe - internet is it!
5. When you're battling radiation sickness from the latest briefcase nuke detonated by Islamo-fascists late night TV just isn't as funny anymore.
4. Conversation with your family is more entertaining.
3. Watching beets grow is more entertaining.
2. In an age of Dane Cook, no one is safe, least of all washed up, boring, passe, liberal, ax-grinding wackos like Janeane Garofalo, David Letterman, and Woody Harrelson.
Number one reason David Letterman ought to be completely ignored...
1. latest mod for Left 4 Dead was just released on Steam.
Comrades,
I thought Comrade Letterman was approved humor, like Saturday Night Live. I never found the latter funny until I became a prog, yet I once watched Letterman, in the late '80s, maybe.
{prog off}
Does anyone recall the Letterman episode where Cher was on and, after a nervous giggle, says basically "I think you're an a$$hole"? I've been better able to tolerate some of Cher's stupidity since that and her work with Operation Helmet and a few other things. Well, there's also that in the '86 version, I'd like to share a little of this Cher--rowrr!
{prog on}
Look, look at this shameless person, daring to call He of the C- in Telecommunications Studies or whatever something dirty (at 3:30, but you might want to play a bit earlier):
I thought Comrade Letterman was approved humor, like Saturday Night Live. I never found the latter funny until I became a prog, yet I once watched Letterman, in the late '80s, maybe.
{prog off}
Does anyone recall the Letterman episode where Cher was on and, after a nervous giggle, says basically "I think you're an a$$hole"? I've been better able to tolerate some of Cher's stupidity since that and her work with Operation Helmet and a few other things. Well, there's also that in the '86 version, I'd like to share a little of this Cher--rowrr!
{prog on}
Look, look at this shameless person, daring to call He of the C- in Telecommunications Studies or whatever something dirty (at 3:30, but you might want to play a bit earlier):
We used to have a Che-spotting thread. Now we have a new game - spot the dirty old man Letterman!
Here's he's hiding among the burqa-clad women. The problem with that is a similar one to the problem of a guy who plays the hind part of a horse. That expression on his face may well become a permanent one.
Here's he's hiding among the burqa-clad women. The problem with that is a similar one to the problem of a guy who plays the hind part of a horse. That expression on his face may well become a permanent one.
He can see "Russia" from his cabin in this one.
Comrades! You have forgotten that about five years ago Mr. Letterman thought that he was more than a late-night comic. He had things to say, and so swelled in self-importance until he could rival the Holy Gore.
That was the progification of Mr. Letterman.
We should support him in his endeavor lest he find out that he's just...sad.
That was the progification of Mr. Letterman.
We should support him in his endeavor lest he find out that he's just...sad.
RedPundit, there is nothing to forgive. And bear in mind that as a prog no matter what you do, you are justified because that's why you're a prog. Michael Moore, PBUH, complained that Osama Bin Ladin didn't target people in the Red States, and he's on the dais with other progs. So, and follow me carefully now, since you're a prog, you set the freaking rules. You are the standard of good and kind and caring. Because it's all about you.
From The Desk Of:
Comrad Iation
To:
All who have posted any pictures of Capitalist Running Dog Sarah Palin
Capitalist Running Dog Sarah Palin sure has some nice legs for a Capitalist Running Dog. She needs some time w/ Hanoi Jane, and a bit of Borsch to make her Kome around to the Barak side of things!
Comrad Iation
To:
All who have posted any pictures of Capitalist Running Dog Sarah Palin
Capitalist Running Dog Sarah Palin sure has some nice legs for a Capitalist Running Dog. She needs some time w/ Hanoi Jane, and a bit of Borsch to make her Kome around to the Barak side of things!
RedPundit -
You did a prudent thing by removing the large signature from your posts. And in time too. I was about to send a Red Goon Squad to your hovel so that they would repossess your computer and replace it with a state-issue red pencil.
BTW it might be a good handle for a Cube member: Red Pencil
You did a prudent thing by removing the large signature from your posts. And in time too. I was about to send a Red Goon Squad to your hovel so that they would repossess your computer and replace it with a state-issue red pencil.
BTW it might be a good handle for a Cube member: Red Pencil
Red Square
RedPundit -You did a prudent thing by removing the large signature from your posts. And in time too. I was about to send a Red Goon Squad to your hovel so that they would repossess your computer and replace it with a state-issue red pencil.
BTW it might be a good handle for a Cube member: Red Pencil
Stalin damn it! And I at the head of the que for a repossessed computer too! Back to connecting to the internet by whistling into a telephone and flipping switches on the front of my Altair clone
Ten Reasons Dave will always be an ass.
10. He was born to the seat of the throne. (Fortunately for him, unfortunately for us, they grabbed him before he fell in)
9. It what he does and it's all genetics.
8. He tried briefly being human and discovered people do not like him either way.
7. He was slapped on both ends when born as the Doctor was not sure which end was which. He never bothered correcting that.
6. Dave discovered his only hidden talent was making bubbles in the bath tub, he's been using that end ever since.
5. Dave discovered his tongue and a hemorrhoid are similar. He decided to 'go for it'.
4. Someone told him beauty is skin deep but an ass goes all the way, Dave decided to go all the way.
3. Dave discovered that in room full of people an Ass stands out.
2. Dave discovered that when an ass speaks people move. Dave likes moving people.
The number one reason. Dave has never had a colonoscopy that was not shoved down his throat. He likes it.
10. He was born to the seat of the throne. (Fortunately for him, unfortunately for us, they grabbed him before he fell in)
9. It what he does and it's all genetics.
8. He tried briefly being human and discovered people do not like him either way.
7. He was slapped on both ends when born as the Doctor was not sure which end was which. He never bothered correcting that.
6. Dave discovered his only hidden talent was making bubbles in the bath tub, he's been using that end ever since.
5. Dave discovered his tongue and a hemorrhoid are similar. He decided to 'go for it'.
4. Someone told him beauty is skin deep but an ass goes all the way, Dave decided to go all the way.
3. Dave discovered that in room full of people an Ass stands out.
2. Dave discovered that when an ass speaks people move. Dave likes moving people.
The number one reason. Dave has never had a colonoscopy that was not shoved down his throat. He likes it.
Nothing to see here... Move along
Comrades, when I see Richard Simmons I know how Clarence Thomas feels about Al Sharpton. But to give him his due, here is the funniest skit I've ever seen on Whose Line Is It Anyway?
I concur. That episode had me in pain I was laughing so hard.
At least Comrade Richards was wearing the appropriate red attire in that photograph above!
AAAAHHHHH! My stomach muscles! They hurt!
Forgive me also
Irony Curtain
: 10. Anything Goes Here As Long As It's Not About A LiberalI know of another unfunny Kommie Komic that has been wringing his hands over the thought of how to
Poor little Dungsbury, but to do MY part to help him out, as all good progs should, here is a suggestion for Gary, the State run Papers Choice in political slant, ever since.... since.... since....
.... gee, I don't know, I guess I haven't read it more than three times since I started reading the papers over forty years ago! Oh well, here is my attempt to help the poor
Best of luck Gary, and many liberal loonytoons to you!
I don't think that you sufficiently appreciate prog angst. It's tough being so fair and open minded, to everyone who thinks just like you. It's hard being that self-righteous. And the preening. Do you know how much time it takes for the preening?
Be kind to Trudeau.
Be kind to Trudeau.
Gary Whoonbury?
The Ten Top Reasons Dave Letterman Shouldn't Visit Alaska
10. Grizzlies can smell ‘dead meat' from miles away.
9. It's really difficult to walk back to shore from the deck of a fishing trawler 200 miles off the coast of Unalakleet.
8. Dave would be the only guy stupid enough to lick the flagpole in front of the Barrow post office in February.
7. 10,000,000 mosquitos would just love to perform fellatio on Dave, strapped naked to the float of a bush plane.
6. A man Dave's age would have a difficult time out-running a bullet from Sarah Palin's favorite moose rifle.
5. From the center of the Harding Ice Field no one can hear you scream.
4. Strands of silver hair sticking out of sled-dog poop make lousy Iditarod trail markers.
3. That pin-striped suit inside a crab pot at the bottom of Resurrection Bay, probably wouldn't keep the Dungeness away from Dave's genitals.
2. Fourteen year old polar bears have no sense of humor when it comes to performing kinky sex acts with some old bug-eyed dude from New York City.
1. Dave would have trouble getting a laugh when telling a Sarah Palin joke from the bottom of a crevasse on Mount Denali.
10. Grizzlies can smell ‘dead meat' from miles away.
9. It's really difficult to walk back to shore from the deck of a fishing trawler 200 miles off the coast of Unalakleet.
8. Dave would be the only guy stupid enough to lick the flagpole in front of the Barrow post office in February.
7. 10,000,000 mosquitos would just love to perform fellatio on Dave, strapped naked to the float of a bush plane.
6. A man Dave's age would have a difficult time out-running a bullet from Sarah Palin's favorite moose rifle.
5. From the center of the Harding Ice Field no one can hear you scream.
4. Strands of silver hair sticking out of sled-dog poop make lousy Iditarod trail markers.
3. That pin-striped suit inside a crab pot at the bottom of Resurrection Bay, probably wouldn't keep the Dungeness away from Dave's genitals.
2. Fourteen year old polar bears have no sense of humor when it comes to performing kinky sex acts with some old bug-eyed dude from New York City.
1. Dave would have trouble getting a laugh when telling a Sarah Palin joke from the bottom of a crevasse on Mount Denali.
(I've got to get back to work - these planes aren't going to land themselves...)
RedPundit
(I've got to get back to work - these planes aren't going to land themselves...)
Why not? Are they not good "Party Planes' with 'Otto' matic Pilots?
Guardian of Pravda
Why not? Are they not good "Party Planes' with 'Otto' matic Pilots?
Guardian of Pravda - I am not sure of ''Otto' matic Pilots ' but I do know we have top notch radar unit!
RedPundit
Guardian of Pravda
Why not? Are they not good "Party Planes' with 'Otto' matic Pilots?
Guardian of Pravda - I am not sure of ''Otto' matic Pilots ' but I do know we have top notch radar unit!
I bet the come equipped with stock phrases like Come left to reading 240 then descend to 5oooft. I will hand you off to Party Central at this point. OOOPs make that ten thousand feet.
Very nice.
A new Pedo-Bear has emerged from the shadowy darkness.
Pedo-Dave.
Be watchful and ever vigilant comrades.
A new Pedo-Bear has emerged from the shadowy darkness.
Pedo-Dave.
Be watchful and ever vigilant comrades.
Hmmm. And I bet he doesn't even use lube.
From the Hillbuzz uppity kulaks:
Top Ten reasons why David Letterman should retire.
10. He is an angry old man.
9. He should begin getting his Social Security while it’s still there.
8. He can’t do Obama jokes.
7. His ratings are so low his Mom is embarrassed.
6. His combover is out of style.
5. His ego won’t fit in his CBS suits.
4. Paul needs a better gig.
3. He needs treatment for Palin Derangement Syndrome.
2. He needs to spend more time with his very young son.
1. He hasn’t been funny in over 20 years.
Top Ten reasons why David Letterman should retire.
10. He is an angry old man.
9. He should begin getting his Social Security while it’s still there.
8. He can’t do Obama jokes.
7. His ratings are so low his Mom is embarrassed.
6. His combover is out of style.
5. His ego won’t fit in his CBS suits.
4. Paul needs a better gig.
3. He needs treatment for Palin Derangement Syndrome.
2. He needs to spend more time with his very young son.
1. He hasn’t been funny in over 20 years.
More uppity kulak humor from Comrade neenee
TOP TEN LETTERMAN EXCUSES:
10. Listen, I didn’t know Willow Palin was 14. She was born in 1995. I thought she was still 13.
9. Why’s everyone so mad? I wasn’t making fun of Barack…?
8. I understand some offense was taken over my remarks the other night. If that’s the case, I’d like to offer an apology to A-Rod. Tonight on the show, we have…
7. Careful buddy. You’re criticizing the guy who almost got the “Tonight Show.”
6. I’m a comedian and therefore not responsible for anything I say … ask Jon Stewart.
5. See, you all spoiled it. The plan tonight was to come out and tell a similar joke about Barack Obama’s daughters. But you can forget it now…
4. Everyone just needs to relax. Page, six, paragraph seven of the “Democrat Handbook” clearly states Republican children are fair game. Or is that the “Mainstream Media Handbook” … I get them confused.
3. It’s just been brought to my attention that during the campaign Barack Obama declared Sarah Palin’s children off limits. So, I would just like to say that this will never happen again and I hope the President will accept my apology.
2. Would you believe I was hoping to be Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the World”? [Lysenko says, "Then, you're doing it wrong...Olbermann only hates people who insult true progs]
1. If what I said was so wrong, why haven’t feminists complained?
TOP TEN LETTERMAN EXCUSES:
10. Listen, I didn’t know Willow Palin was 14. She was born in 1995. I thought she was still 13.
9. Why’s everyone so mad? I wasn’t making fun of Barack…?
8. I understand some offense was taken over my remarks the other night. If that’s the case, I’d like to offer an apology to A-Rod. Tonight on the show, we have…
7. Careful buddy. You’re criticizing the guy who almost got the “Tonight Show.”
6. I’m a comedian and therefore not responsible for anything I say … ask Jon Stewart.
5. See, you all spoiled it. The plan tonight was to come out and tell a similar joke about Barack Obama’s daughters. But you can forget it now…
4. Everyone just needs to relax. Page, six, paragraph seven of the “Democrat Handbook” clearly states Republican children are fair game. Or is that the “Mainstream Media Handbook” … I get them confused.
3. It’s just been brought to my attention that during the campaign Barack Obama declared Sarah Palin’s children off limits. So, I would just like to say that this will never happen again and I hope the President will accept my apology.
2. Would you believe I was hoping to be Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the World”? [Lysenko says, "Then, you're doing it wrong...Olbermann only hates people who insult true progs]
1. If what I said was so wrong, why haven’t feminists complained?
Very nice, Lysenko, very nice.
Here's a trip down memory lane:
You can put a self-regarding, America-despising socialist in the Oval Office and he's still a self-regarding, America-despising socialist.
Dave's comments have almost stopped me from watching Twilight Zone on CBS.com. ALMOST.
Is hoping all evil words properly censored. All hail Obama. Obama akbar.
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