Obama Playing Cards for the Masses

And replace it with a capitalist anime pr0nz industry? (after all that's all anime seems to be good for. Delicious pr0nz0rz.

And that one chick in that background is flat.
 

Porn and Alcohol are the industries that are for the Good(tm) of the people. That's why we're educated against them.
 

Betty, I'm disappointed, but hardly surprised, that the only thing you would notice are breasts--or in the case of the breast-challenged girl, the lack of them. For you failed to notice her most important features--the long donkey ears and tail signifying that she is well on her way to becoming a Party member.

Ever wonder how kids grow up to be good liberal Democrats, Party of the Donkey? May I present for your consideration Disney's Pinocchio:

Quote:

The segment from Pleasure Island in the film version is much more of a morality tale. The boys who are taken to the island go voluntarily with the promise of fun and unlimited freedom. While on the island, the children are encouraged to commit acts of vandalism, fight, drink beer, smoke cigars, and gamble - all things that good little boys are not supposed to do. The nature of the coachman and of Pleasure Island itself is shown as more preternatural and inherently evil.
The transformation into a donkey is not instantaneous. When boys arrive on the island, they remain human for some time before showing any signs of the curse changing them. The first indication is braying replacing the boy's normal laughter, followed by the growth of donkey ears and a tail. The head, torso, and extremities come next, after which the boy is then forced into a quadrupedial stance. The final notable change is losing the ability to speak. Before the donkeys leave Pleasure Island, they are checked to make sure they have lost their ability to vocalize, which signifies they are fully transformed.
When The Coachman tests out the donkeys, he does many things to them. The ones that cannot longer vocalize are stripped bare of their clothes and chucked into wooden crates to salt mines or circuses. The ones that can talk are taken back to a pen where other talking donkeys plead for mercy. The Coachman has to either keep them on the island until they lose their vocalization or their death.



 

The Skinnee Jay

Dear comrade The Red Square!
Please use that color job on the whole picture

Call me old fashioned, I kind of like the psychedelic look:


 

Commissarka Pinkie

Ever wonder how kids grow up to be good liberal Democrats, Party of the Donkey? May I present for your consideration Disney's Pinocchio

Pinkie! This is exactly the story I told my children trying to explain the need to stay in school and not falling into the temptations around them before they grow up. But did they listen? The Coachman always seems more trustworthy than the parents. Just tell me where I can find that Coachman, I'd hate to hit the wrong guy. Something tells me he looks a bit like these two:


 

Red Square,

I have found for you the Coachman's CV and mugshot. Would this be the same community organizer who's agitating your young Cubelings?

He even wears a red coat. And I do see some resemblance to Ayers.

http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/The_Coachman


 

Comrade Otis

The Skinnee Jay

Dear comrade The Red Square!
Please use that color job on the whole picture

Call me old fashioned, I kind of like the psychedelic look:






You're old-fashioned. I'm still waiting for comrade Red Square to do the whole color job for me. Cuteness is capitalism, so I want to at least get these 2 approved by the party before cuteness gets completely exploited by capitalism (Anime industry).

Also, Pinkie, it's good that Betty focuses on the breast. Cuteness is capitalism. Porn is liberation. I have proof:

http://oneangrygirl.net/antiporn.html

Just look how conservative the whole site is! In our free world, we should let sex material spread so people will see we support freedom of speech!

Oh and it's not donkey ears. Robotic ears or something. I'll look for more information.

COMRADE RED SQUARE. I'LL BE WAITING.
 

Oh, and putting their faces on posters is also great! If you need more pictures, I got sources the capitalist are yet to exploit.

Does anyone thing we could use a page with everyone's MSN/ICQ/AIM or anything like that addresses? I think these programs are more secret.

Sorry for double post.
 

The Skinnee Jay

Comrade Otis

The Skinnee Jay

Dear comrade The Red Square!
Please use that color job on the whole picture

Call me old fashioned, I kind of like the psychedelic look:






You're old-fashioned. I'm still waiting for comrade Red Square to do the whole color job for me. Cuteness is capitalism, so I want to at least get these 2 approved by the party before cuteness gets completely exploited by capitalism (Anime industry).

Also, Pinkie, it's good that Betty focuses on the breast. Cuteness is capitalism. Porn is liberation. I have proof:

http://oneangrygirl.net/antiporn.html

Just look how conservative the whole site is! In our free world, we should let sex material spread so people will see we support freedom of speech!

Oh and it's not donkey ears. Robotic ears or something. I'll look for more information.

COMRADE RED SQUARE. I'LL BE WAITING.

Hey PROLE!

You will be waiting a long time for our glorious Red Square to fulfill your silly requests! And your insolence is appalling! How dare you speak to our SUPREME LEADER, (get that prole?) this way!!

Report to the train station immediately! Bring shovel, warm clothes and a copy of the Party Manifesto! You will be taken to the KMTC for evaluation. Pending diagnosis, you will shovel Permafrost until you understand that one must grovel before your Party Elite, or risk dire consequences!

No one cares about your prostituting ways, and besides, Larry Flynt is gonna get bailout money any day now, so the Anime Industry is in no danger of censorship. Everyone knows that Comrade Flynt is a beacon of the 1st Ammendment!

Your re-education starts now, prole! Get moving!

NOTE to Inner Circle: Report the SkinneeJay for further actions to be taken

Che' Gourmet
Uber-Commissar of Foodservice
Executive Chef to the Inner Circle
Executive Chef of Lucretia's, the People's Restaurant
Recepient of the Order of Laika for Meritorious Service
 

Comrade Che' Gourment

I'm sorry for insolence. I didn't mean it. Can you please show me, so I won't repeat that thoughtcrime? Thanks!

Also, look at Japan=you see development. Development requires money. Money is capitalism. I still think Japan is one it's way to be the biggest thought crime ever. For now, I want to save a piece of it before it turn capitalist.

Anime industry=Capitalism in the making. Must reserve something.

Sorry again!
 

The Skinnee Jay

Comrade Che' Gourment

I'm sorry for insolence. I didn't mean it. Can you please show me, so I won't repeat that thoughtcrime? Thanks!

Also, look at Japan=you see development. Development requires money. Money is capitalism. I still think Japan is one it's way to be the biggest thought crime ever. For now, I want to save a piece of it before it turn capitalist.

Anime industry=Capitalism in the making. Must reserve something.

Sorry again!

Skinnee Jay,

Comrade, SORRY is not good enough! I demand that you apologise to our most benevolent Leader for your disrespect. He is extremely busy, promoting the Partys' Agenda, and does not need you, lowly prole, taking for granted that he will jump when you state your petty wishes. Our dear Leader need not do anything of the sort!

He told you prole, to explain how your proposal will further the Partys' work.

Perhaps an essay, delivered to Red Square, personally, will appease him somewhat, considering that's all he asked of you. I would make sure that it contains every detail of your proposal, and especially, how much money you will pay for the license, which of course, may or may not be issued.


But there will be no arguments about your punishment! Report as ordered, NOW!

(Skinnee Jay, you will learn. All of us have had to wield the mighty shovel on occasion for our ThoughtCrimes, comrade, so don't fight it)
 

Speak for yourself. The more demonic of us never commit thoughtcrime.
 

Behemoth

Speak for yourself. The more demonic of us never commit thoughtcrime.

Well, Hello there, Demon (Booo I'm so scared LOL)

Yes,I do speak for myself. So how goes the propaganda in merry ol' England, comrade? Or not? (See explanation below if you are confused, comrade:)

Are you referring to:
Behemoth was written in 1668 as a follow up to Hobbes' previous political work, Leviathan. Leviathan is a representation of an ideal political world and Behemoth has been considered to be a treatise on what happens when the very worst abuses of government come to pass.

or are you this Behemoth?(Final Fantasy Games)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Behemoth_(Digimon).jpg Personally, I'd like to believe that you are the first choice (your political acumen would be appropriate at the Cube, comrade), but I suspect that you are the Anime power since you sympathize with Skinnee Jay. You should get together with our Premier Betty, who is definitely a fan of Anime.
 

Comrade Che Gourmet. If I pick a shovel and warm clothes, and go with them to school instead of our uniform, will I be forgiven? I, after all, support the part to the fullest. That's why I want mascots to help us spread it. No pressure on The Red Square though, he can do it whenever he got the time.

Begging for your forgiveness...
 

The Skinnee Jay

Comrade Che Gourmet. If I pick a shovel and warm clothes, and go with them to school instead of our uniform, will I be forgiven? I, after all, support the part to the fullest. That's why I want mascots to help us spread it. No pressure on The Red Square though, he can do it whenever he got the time.

Begging for your forgiveness...

Comrade Skinnee Jay,

That's right prole, anytime he wishes! I realize it must be tough getting to school these days, living in Israel (are they really making you go to school now??) so, I will consider commuting your punishment at the KMTC, but not until you apologize to our dear Leader, and do as HE commanded you! I know this sounds harsh, but he wants that proposal, or you will never see your "mascots," Kabeesh?

I have no problem with your zeal for the party, prole. We in the Inner Circle will be watching you, Skinnee Jay. Don't disappoint us.
 

Che Gourmet

No one cares about your prostituting ways, and besides, Larry Flynt is gonna get bailout money any day now, so the Anime Industry is in no danger of censorship. Everyone knows that Comrade Flynt is a beacon of the 1st Ammendment!

This is actually in the works:

Margaret

By Margaret Thu Jan 08, 2009 11:43 am

Pleasure Island falls on hard times. The Coachman demands 5 Billion:

Adult Entertainment Industry Wants a Bailout

(News We Don't Have Time To Write About (archive))

Feed the Revolution, Che Gourment.
 

True. Anytime he wants-he shall do it. I will remind him from time to time-just in case he forgets. But I have full faith in the Red Square, and I hope to buy, I mean liberate a pack of these cards and a copy of The People's Cube (I'm not equal enough for the ORIGINAL Cube, which only The Red Square deserves to own).

I'd like to know how I can make amends. I'm already preparing my warm clothes and my shovel.

Yeah, I'm still being forced capitalistically to go to school. Hamas' messengers of peace (aka Qassams) don't come close to me area.

How do I line words? You know, like to erase them? Thanks!
 

The Skinnee Jay

True. Anytime he wants-he shall do it. I will remind him from time to time-just in case he forgets. But I have full faith in the Red Square, and I hope to buy, I mean liberate a pack of these cards and a copy of The People's Cube (I'm not equal enough for the ORIGINAL Cube, which only The Red Square deserves to own).

I'd like to know how I can make amends. I'm already preparing my warm clothes and my shovel.

Yeah, I'm still being forced capitalistically to go to school. Hamas' messengers of peace (aka Qassams) don't come close to me area.

How do I line words? You know, like to erase them? Thanks! (hi-light the offensive words, then hit the square above that says abc)


OK Skinnee Jay, ONE MORE TIME!

Re-read my previous posts! I told you to write the proposal for your "mascots" and explain to Red Square, (Almighty, all knowing Leader) just why these mascots would be useful to the Party's agenda, and don't tell me again, how "cute" they are! Submit your proposal in triplicate, along with appropriate fees (cash or money order only) to Red Square's secretary (not just any secretary, prole, just one of her many important jobs!) Mrs. Pinkie O. She will process, and let you know if your proposal is acceptable, or not.

Next, and most importantly, APOLOGIZE TO OUR LEADER FOR YOUR IMPERTINENCE!
I do not need your apologies, prole. You did nothing to offend me. Now be a good comrade and pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do the right thing! Agh.......kids!....don't they have ears to listen?...all they do is ask endless questions.....and can't follow simple instructions....glad I'm not a teacher.....pobres profesors....

PS: Red Square does not "own" the Cube. The Cube belongs to the People!

PSS: Comrade, I hope that this isn't an example of how you process your school studies?
 

My school is capitalism. I defy it.

Comrade Gourmet, I prefer The Red Square himself to ask me for an apology. Money might come soon. My capitalist parents control it. I might be able to use it to buy liberate these cards and a copy of The Cube(tm).

Explanation for mascots:
It is a picture of happy young girls. It coud be a window to how Marxism should would be. We need to find a way to appeal to the teenage market community. I believe this picture can be useful. Also, cute mascots didn't hurt anyone.

Oh thanks for letting be know about the line. Thanks for Sharing(tm).
 

Skinnee Jay

May Lenin not roll over in his tomb!
Are you saying that your school is not Progressive? Your grammar and stubborness suggests that it is, but I will talk to Comrade Ayers and have him check out this travesty.
If the example you gave, (you call that a proposal?) is the best you can come up with, then only money will get you a slim chance to have your "mascots."

Just what do you mean you PREFER to wait for our Dear Leader to ask you for an apology? My air-brained comrade, I would not wait for that. Red Square keeps records of all conversations; he reviews them for content, daily. Although he is very patient with newbies, (oh yes, how I remember), and I have tried to be, I doubt that he will stoop to your level. He has no need to grovel to any of us, including you, prole!

Since you refuse to kowtow to our Leader, I am reporting this transgression to the Inner Circle, immediately. Be aware comrade, they will not be as patient with you as I have been!
If you continue to refuse to submit to my admonishment, and proper re-education, then you shall be sent for a Jiffylobe appointment to give you a proper attitude adjustment. (Theo, here comes another one, don't forget my commission)

I wash my hands of any further involvement with this matter, prole. Since you did not heed my wise counsel on this, you will be, most likely, subjected to a Show Trial (that is if you are 13 or older), and I don't believe a newbie has ever survived that!
 

Comrade Gourmet.

I told you already that I never thought a bad thought. I side with the party all the time, and the mascots are my share to the party. Again, I'd like to hear The Red Square's words on this topic. However, I'd only like to, because The Red Square will choose. Whatever he chooses, however, is right because he's on the left (as we all are).

Now, I do NOT refuse to kowtow to the leader. When I go to my capitalist school, I feel sorry for them because they do not know Red Square's amazing leadership skills. I'll try my best. I'll tell my teachers to visit this site and tell them this is a political satire site, to lure them. They slowly get blown away the by truth and justice and join us.

I was once in a Party where I learned grammar. However, they betrayed their own ideas so I left them. My school only flawed me. So if I ever do something wrong, please forgive me because I'm still working to learn the essence of the Party. Consider me in training!
 

Red Square

Oh, and I changed your avatar, The Skinnee Jay, to make it more compliant with the our revolutionary ideals: big red bows on top and big red D-cups on the chest. That is our standard for female comrades unless you are part of the Breasts Not Bombs collective; those have the Party permission to parade around without the big red D-cups on the chest - or any other cups for that matter.

And I suppose this only applies to humans - not that I want the Housekeeping Avatar changed, my Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid - I just wonder why everyone forgets I'm a gurl?... Is it cause I'm a dolphin? I thought we'd agreed at the last Jello Shooters Night Peoples Cube Commitern that we had officially eschewed, once and for all, specieist/applianceist attitudes. Please understand, I ask only as a point of clarification, as double D's would effectively upset my streamline profile and get in the way of my ability to site and fire at most targets (as well as making it more difficult to woop Theo's ass at Snooker)...

Might we not create a third alternative for those fems whose utility to the party would be undermined by an humongous chestesess? Please note that I have also recently agitated for the right to silk lingerie for the progressive female party member to increase effectiveness in protesting (though I suppose that we should not limit it to female members). It is simply that I am of the opinion that we should not be limited to either bodaciousness or bombaciousness. Also, big hooters contribute to repetitive stress injury to the back in most shovellers, which might potentially strain the Cube's universal healthcare initiative.

Respectfully,
Sister Massively Opiated.
 

Sister, I have an idea. Since sex is plastic in the Party--a very convenient explanation for Bruno, well, hell no other explanation will do save that he was dropped in Roswell some years ago, why now have detachable parts? There may be times that you want huge hooters. You know, to inveigle unsuspecting horn-dogs into the toils of the party. And then there are times when ginormous hooters would be a problem, as when you try, try only, to in your indelicate words, whip my ass as snooker. You forget that Meow has being giving me lessons in the black arts of the black arts.

I think that a few clasps with a USB 2.0 port would suffice to give sufficient band width, don't you?

After this is perfected, I think that I shall go on to develop it for peckers. This is in contradistinction to the fact that so many party members are utter and complete pricks.
 

Commissar Theocritus

Sister, I have an idea. Since sex is plastic in the Party--a very convenient explanation for Bruno, well, hell no other explanation will do save that he was dropped in Roswell some years ago, why now have detachable parts? There may be times that you want huge hooters. You know, to inveigle unsuspecting horn-dogs into the toils of the party. And then there are times when ginormous hooters would be a problem, as when you try, try only, to in your indelicate words, whip my ass as snooker. You forget that Meow has being giving me lessons in the black arts of the black arts.

I think that a few clasps with a USB 2.0 port would suffice to give sufficient band width, don't you?

After this is perfected, I think that I shall go on to develop it for peckers. This is in contradistinction to the fact that so many party members are utter and complete pricks.

Theo, Dearest...

I thought sex, at least as far as detachable sex goes in the Party, was not plastic but rather a latex/silicon 'alloy'... And snooker is not a black art... it is simply a different form of billiards... pool... like with a felt covered table with pockets in the corners and along the long sides and colourful resin balls - some striped and some solid but all numbered except the white or 'cue' ball - chalk and a cue... I thought that it was universal but perhaps snooker is a British thing and not common outside of Commonwealth countries... unless your idea of 'the black arts' and mine are different, and that could also be. I have come to understand that despite our neighbourliness and the fact that we share a great deal culturally, that Kanadistan and Amerikkka can sometimes be very different countries in some respekts - like our Parliamentary Democracy vs. whatever the hell it is that the US federal government is - a Federal Constitutional Republic? Isn't it? But sometimes people in the United States think we have a President in Kanadistan, rather than a Prime Minister, and they don't realize that Queen Elizabeth II is our Queen as well as the UK's and that she has an actual representative in Canada who must sometimes play an integral part in our governmental affairs - this person is called a Governor General... and the GG delivers speeches to the Canadian people from our Queen... the same Queen that they have in the UK... and so we also have a Royal Tampon in the form of Prince Charles, who, like both his younger brothers, all went to school in Kanadistan at one time or another... and Prince Phillip, Queen Elizabeth II's hubby, comes to Canada all the time cause he's involved in a number of wetland preservation associations like Ducks Unlimited and Pheasants Forever, which are NPO's that protect wetlands and their inahabitants so that there will be enough for hunters to kill... and eat... we generally eat what we kill in Canada... unless we've killed another human being... or a Polar Bear... it's not good to eat Polar Bears (or Ice Bears) because aside from the fact that they're endangered you can also catch a lot of things from eating bear and eating a Polar Bear liver will kill you, because there's so much Vitamin A in it that it's toxic... but I digress...

Snooker is like pool (billiards)... up here the black arts refer either to magick and the occult, or to Toni Morrison novels and Maya Angelou's poetry...
 

I can't read the whole posts... Just a question to you guys:
I'm pretty sure sex is liberation, yes? Because in schools (which are capitalist and NOT PROGRESSIVE) they educate us on safe sex and stuff-which mean it's wrong. Also, pornography is a form of "freedom of speech" (We got free speech as long as it's not thoughtcrime) so it makes any kind of sex liberation, yes?

We don't want 1984. At least not with the same values. Emotions are good, and money destroys emotions.
 

Sister, believe me: even this Texan knows that Kanadistan has parliamentary government. And I've even heard of William Lyon Mackenzie. And I read Robertson Davies. And I know that you have Lilibet as your queen, although I suggest that you try the Castro in San Francisco for thousands of them.

And we even have snooker in Culo de Pecos, but although you can describe the progress of the balls across the felt-covered slate using mathematics but after the prowess of Minnesota Fats I'm not sure that it is not the black arts. Perhaps using an entire room of rack-mounted OS X Macs configured in an XGRID, we might be able to determine the progress of the balls but it would be easier to sequence the genome of a potato, which has more chromosomes than we do. Or find the intelligence inside Nansky's head, which uses the same techniques that astronomers use to find planets orbiting distant stars.

A thought circles her brain, and the 5x10E-7 candlepower light dims--just so slightly.

And yes, Jay, pornography is free speech. And I'm even going so far as to say that snuff films are free speech. I shall film my impaling to avoid any legal problems.
 

Snuff films are only free speech if Jews get snuffed, or someone agrees to get snuffed.

Also, not having sex or disliking sex is a thoughtcrime, right?
 

Of course. Abstinence is a Thougtcrime. In fact you are supposed to offer yourself to anyone at any time because sex is a basic need.

Under the administration of His O'liness we ought to have a Department of Casual Sex, and it is an entitlement. There will be comfort detachments which will service the needs of all good party members.
 

Comrade Red Square:

I received my cards yesterday, and they are most impressive. They inspired me to create the avatar above. I agree with earlier commenters that future editions should include Comrade Franken.
 

Commissar Theocritus

Sister, believe me: even this Texan knows that Kanadistan has parliamentary government. And I've even heard of William Lyon Mackenzie. And I read Robertson Davies. And I know that you have Lilibet as your queen, although I suggest that you try the Castro in San Francisco for thousands of them.

Dearest Theo...

You forget - Toronto has the third largest gay, lesbian and transgendered community in North America... as well as the second largest Pride Day Parade.... and you can get married here legally.

As far as free speech and snuff films and pornography in general, gay, straight or otherwise... would you really just like me to introduce you to Bruce Labruce already? He's a lovely guy.

The Dolphin

ps... Comrade, The Skinnee Jay...

Has Israel changed so much since I was last there? I admit it has been a while, but then, "Steak Lavan" was still the "other white meat". I keep in close contact with my cousins and one is a filmmaker, but she's not mentioned any shift in her subject matter of late... Perhaps this is proof positive that the mysteriously 'missing' Iranian gay population has all made aliyah...
 

Soul Sista Massively Opiated:
When was the time you were in Israel?

Comrade Rickls: How did you make your avatar, and can you please Share(tm) it with us. A full-size version? It'll be great for my collection*.

Commissar Theocritus: What do you think of safe sex? I think it's wrong. It defies the freedom of sperm cells. Also, don't you think the idea of cute Anime girls is offensive to the porn industry of liberation? See, some progressive kids in my school told me to I should like porn instead of cute characters, like Apricot Sakuraba. I know they are progressive. They're all looking to have sex with anyone and they view money as unimportant. They also hate the school and grades. School and grades=Not progressive.
 

Sister, I highly recommend Bruce Labruce's The Raspberry Reich. Gudrun is the leader of a Baader-Meinhof type cell, and to further the revolution she declaims that heterosexuality is oppressive. It shows the true dedication of the left-wing in considering mankind to be a construct and nothing but a construct. And we all know that everything is political, no? We can just set our minds to it and be gay or straight or tap-dancing parrots. If we just want it to be so.

Skinnee Jay, I had not thought of safe sex being discriminatory to the motility of sperm. This was pioneered by Astrid Lindgren, who wrote the Pippi Longstocking books. Some years ago she had the epiphany that animals should not be bred but have the right of their own copulation.

I wonder if that extended to the rats in her house.
 

Is porn liberal too? I mean, Hugh Hefner fights for freedom and you can say anything that fits Playboy's agenda in Playboy magazine. I believe it's freedom.
 

Here is one of the underlying tenets of Progressivism:

If you want to do something with your privates, have at it.

If you want to do something with your brain, shut it off.

If it's sex, you can do what you want.

If it's not sex, we control everything that you do.
 

What about rape?
 

Ah. That's different. At Amherst people have to have a contract before a date. Handholding? Kissing? Oral? Vaginal or other?

At Brown a girl can knock a boy down and have sex and if he doesn't call the next day she can accuse him of rape, which is why lots of Providence high-school girls have dates with Brown men.

But if a priest has sex with an altar boy it is denied.

Get it?
 

I don't. I believe, however, if a boy forces a girl to have sex it's ok because it's his freedom to have sex. Protect free sex!
 

I have been in situations when a couple of women wanted me to have sex with them but preferring the boys I preferred not to. And they had further things in mind, such as matrimony.

Did they have the right to have sex with me just for the sex? Does their desire to form a family unit with me justify the sex?

I was so confused.
 

Girls must have sex with feelings and a desire to form a family.

Boys can rape and have sex without emotions or feelings and force girls into bad situations. SEX IS LIBERATION. IT IS *WRONG* NOT TO LIKE SEX.
 

What about onanism? That is solitary sex. But it does not have the sharing of the true proletariat. In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ there will no no single rooms and all bathrooms will be made without doors. For if you have privacy you can plot against your fellow comrades.

In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ any male with an obvious tumescence will be required to go to a mattress in the center of the dormitory to engage with sex. If there is another male with tumescence he will be required to participate. Whether or not one or both are gay is quite beside the point. The point is the sex. If there is no other male with tumescence, then a female shall be chosen, and the one who has had sex least recently will be the chosen. This means that nonagenarian great-grandmothers will never be without sex.

There will be a bottle of Viagra by the mattress, along with every flavor of K-Y.
 

Pardon the cyber coitus interruptus, Comrades, but please allow me to momentarily steer the thread back toward the original topic, or at least something more closely related to the original topic, to wit:

Obama Trading Cards!



Profiles of all cabinet members including VP JOE BIDEN!!!

Apparently no bubble gum included.

I'll trade you Barack's first day of kindergarten for one of his and Michelle's first kiss.

And Theocritus: "Male tumescence"? Honestly. For a minute I thought I'd accidentally clicked on the romance novelists' discussion board under the thread, "Favorite Erectile Euphemisms." You old bodice ripper, you.
 

Oh, dear. I see I've been rumbled. What about, "More than the usual amount of blood flowed toward his femoral arteries and took a side trip, causing a flush of warmth in his lap and a lightness in his head..."

And I've never been a bodice ripper although I have been invited to be. I was never cruel enough to do it, having seen the wreckage of some men who did and shouldn't have. If a man is looking for nooky and everyone knows it, it's one thing. But if a man is looking for a long-term relationship the odds are that 20 years on, with a child or children, and a wife, he will start thinking of the bargain that he made, and the trade that he made, and men, all men, are horndogs. The misery I've seen... I never was that cruel even though I wanted a family.
 

I don't think sex should be forced by some sort of a government, but people should force sex-kinky sex, especially, on others. We all agree that male-on-female rape is a call for freedom from the conservatives? Feminism is conservative, by the way. At least Feminism that rejects porn. Progressive Feminism promotes prostitution along with equal rights-that's good Feminism.

KILL THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE SEX. KILL THE INFIDELS.
 

Jay, do you think that this requires another government entitlement? Can you imagine anyone actually having sex with (looks around carefully) Our Many Titted Empress? With all her power and pull, the answer is a resounding NO. That's why she has the Hildo Turbo Hydra 7.1, which has its only three-phase power generator.

What about sex with say Maxine Waters? That would require an entitlement. The stud fees for her could run into the millions.
 

I didn't get it. Can't we just kill anyone who doesn't like sex?
 

I suppose so. And that would also mean that we would be selecting for more and more people. But the Progressive view of the world is that Mankind is a blight on the earth, which must be kept pristine for the time that it is engulfed by the sun turning into a red giant.

So that means that although sex is fine, it cannot be generative sex. In other words, if it is heterosexual sex, it must be between people who are sterilized or with at least two forms of birth control, and Planned Parenthood must have a van outside the house with a vacuum cleaner from the Grainger catalog.

Ideally we would all have sex all the time which would distract us from things like being robbed blind by Progressives.
 

I think people should just have sex. Randomly. Even generative. Teenage pregnant is progressive.
 

:: OFFICIAL INTERCOMMISSARIATE MEMO ::

TO: COMRADE DIREKTOR THEOCRITUS: DEPARTMENT OF UNANIMOUS CARING, COMPASSION, BACKSTABBING, AND IMPALING FOR THE COMMON GOOD^TM (Formerly Conspicuous Caring &tc. &tc.)

CC: Comradette The Skinnee Jay (Prospective Young Cosmo Pioneer for the building of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday^TM on the Red Planet, Potymkingrad***)

FROM: COMRADE KOMMISSAR SISTER MASSIVELY OPIATED: KOMMISSARIATE OF HOUSEKEEPING, DISAPPEARANCES, COMPOSTING, DISSECTION, AND LIMO SERVICE (WE SWEEP DEAD PEOPLE^R)
**********************************************

Comrade Direktor Theocritus and Comradette The Skinnee Jay,

I apologize for my tardiness... I have been moving slowly these days, both mentally and physically. Now, to bidness - I believe that perhaps this ongoing doktrinal discussion of sex and progressivism might better be moved to a different forum... perhaps a blog topic maybe. Please understand, I am not throwing about my Kommissarishness... I would never do that when it comes to free speech about sex or progressivism (as long as it is not anathema to Cubist doktrine or the Party's will) and certainly not with Theo, a fellow Commissar... It's only that this is a thread about Obama Playing (and now, thanks you our very own TPC Cayce Pollard-like intuitive coolhunter, Pinkie Obama, trading cards... which are, really, collector cards, but which cannot be called such as this would, in fact, be anathema to the idea of ownership, and so perhaps we may better refer to them as collective cards... but I digress, as usual)... This is a thread about Obama cards, and though I am much taken with the turn of conversation, we have rudely hijacked the original thread and taken it in, what you must admit is an utterly different direction... so, perhaps we might take Comradette The Skinnee Jay's apparent fixation with Cubist sexual dogma (just leave that one alone... please... ) and Comrade Direktor Theocritus' mentorship regarding same, to the Blog where it will not only not interfere with the thread's original intent, but being under a more appropriate title, might draw the attention and participation of those Cube members who might otherwise not find it here, thereby widening the scope and diversity of opinion and potential for reaching consensus^TM... or at the very least, being told what to think by those more equal than us... I hope you will not find my suggestion heavy-finned as it is not my intent to be bossy or to overstep. I only wish, respectfully, to maintain the original intent of the thread in respect of its creator as well as to optimize the accessibility of this important new topic for the betterment of the collective entire.

That said, I will respond to earlier posts in another post shortly, as I am currently recovering from a rather long conversation with Laika during which he actually managed to get several words in edgewise. Apparently Kenneth was asleep at the controls as my tinfoil hat did not emit the usual kontrol signals and so I have only to recover my voice, and not recover from a signal induced grand mal seizure. Zzzzzzzzzzt!

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" Benzedrine, uh-huh.

Huh?... What?... Nothing...

Toast is burning
Sister Massively Opiated

*** NB: Of late, there has been little discussion of the Progressive World of Next Tuesday^TM, The Young Cosmo Pioneers^TM, nor The Red Planet^TM or Potymkingrad^TM (number of (y)our choosing) and as we seem to have many new members to The Peoples Cube and young at that, I thought this a good opportunity to remind those who may have forgotten about these important aspects of The Peoples Cube^TM and the Cubist mandate, of their existence, as well as introducing our newer members to these important goals we are all dedicated to achieving. Long Live The Peoples Cube and our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader, Red Square, The Peoples Direktor!
 

Sister, I am thinking with great consideration about your words. And Tuesday will truly be the Progressive World of Next Tuesday. I have been considering making a post about all the rights, but not obligations for true progressives leave obligations to Rethuglicans, of a Made Progressive. That is Made, in the sense of a made man in the Mafia.

Do you think that we ought to have a licensing board to become a Made Progressive?
 

I agree that we should move the sex discussion to a separate thread... If only someone could mark the specific posts that need to be moved together I'd appreciate it. The way the system works, once you move the posts it cannot be undone. If you leave out a post, it cannot be inserted later. If you move one by mistake, it cannot go back. Talk about black arts...
 

In the grand tradition of taking no responsibility whatsoever, I offer the following...

Dearest Theocritus,

I would not... could not presume, to even give an opinion regarding the potential for creating a licensing board for Made Progressives. Such a decision is far above my pay grade and Party mandated role within the Cube. I can only defer to our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader in this regard. I'm sure that were I to be involved in any committee which might be formed to explore the matter of choosing who should become a licensed Made Progressive, or even whether such a licensing board should be formed, I might very well be so overwhelmed by the responsibility as to make consensus impossible, thereby fucking it up royally... So... Have Red decide...

Similarly...

Dear Glorious Red Square,

As I was not substantially part of the discussion regarding Cubist Sexual Doktrine, I must defer to Comrade Direktor Theocritus and Comradette The Skinnee Jay in this matter. I admit to being somewhat shy about discussing such matters unless I've taken a great deal more of my meds than I have during their discourse and so I have not been as involved as I might otherwise have been, though I did find it.... elucidating... Also, I have to admit to finding much of it a bit confusing, dialectically speaking, and so I fear that were I to be the one to attempt to choose which posts are most appropriate for diversion to a new thread, I would probably fuck it royally... So... Make Theo do it...

Unequivocally,
Sister Massively Opiated
 

I agree we need a thread to discuss Progressive Sex(tm) and all this. If you want, I can be the head of the Department Of Purity, and make sure anyone has sex in high school or their heads get cut off.
 

I nominate Skinnee Jay. Although to be frank if we talk more about sex I will have to haul out real Bruno anecdotes and I don't think that anyone, including me, has the stomach for that. I may however start a Made Progressive thread, after I on my other job say that today is expiation for Jim Crow.
 

The Skinnee Jay

make sure anyone has sex in high school or their heads get cut off.


Why not start with kindergarten? That's when Sex Ed begins, so why not just get it all over with then?
 

No, not then. Girls don't have big enough titties and boys need bigger dicks. That's why it's good to wait 'till high school, where they get all stupid and shit.

Thanks Comrade Theocritus!
 

Commissar Theocritus

Sister, I have an idea. Since sex is plastic in the Party--a very convenient explanation for Bruno, well, hell no other explanation will do save that he was dropped in Roswell some years ago, why now have detachable parts? There may be times that you want huge hooters. You know, to inveigle unsuspecting horn-dogs into the toils of the party. And then there are times when ginormous hooters would be a problem, as when you try, try only, to in your indelicate words, whip my ass as snooker. You forget that Meow has being giving me lessons in the black arts of the black arts.

I think that a few clasps with a USB 2.0 port would suffice to give sufficient band width, don't you?

After this is perfected, I think that I shall go on to develop it for peckers. This is in contradistinction to the fact that so many party members are utter and complete pricks.

Could we call them "Lee(tm) Press-on Hooters" ?
 

Press on Lee Press on Hooters! Press on!

Of course a true progressive could do what was done in Odessa. A young man went to a bar dressed in leather, but owing to alcohol and the leather he got so hot that he passed out. When they took off his pants they found he'd taped a cucumber to his leg.

Or the time that I saw "Soul Train." A very large man was dressed in a felt lime-green suit, seated on a stool, singing in falsetto, and picking at something hard halfway down his leg. I did not make this up.
 

Eeewwww....
 

Betty, the inside of my mind is a maelstrom of filth and experience. When I was 1/3 my current age I was a goody two shoes, first in things, perfect child, and determined that I wouldn't be innocent. I learned to find innuendo, or make innuendo, in everything, to the point that I have to bite my tongue many times a day to avoid shocking even people who know me well.
 

Doesn't mean it isn't funny.
 

It's hilarious, at least to me. And to other people once they either get used to me or they quit blushing.
 

Commissar Theocritus

It's hilarious, at least to me. And to other people once they either get used to me or they quit blushing.

Nothing that you've ever written has made me blush. Guess I'm far from any type of innocence.
But it usually makes me laugh really hard. Some of the funniest shite on the cube,Erudite.

Yes,that's a compliment.
 

Thank you, Lenin 'n' Thingies. What's funny is that five years ago I was a model of propriety in this small town--very small town--very small and poor town--handling people's real estate and so forth. A couple of years ago I said, "Screw it," told the world I'm gay and started saying absolutely anything that I wanted to say. And get away with it. Of course if I ever screw up, then I won't be useful enough to counteract it.

I find that I play, in the medieval sense, the fool. The one who says things that others won't. I said something outrageous and some old high-school classmates started blushing and giggling. I apologized. Debbie said, "David, you say the things that we're all thinking."

So we all have a use in life. Except for Nansky Pelosi.
 

"you say the things that we're all thinking."...... In that,we are alike.

I have heard that all of my life. But,usually,it's more like "Damn,girl,I know that's what we all were thinking,but did ya have to say it out loud?"

I've learned to curb it more and more as I've matured(please don't giggle). But sometimes it still just seems to fly out of my mouth.


I wish i could have seen the faces of your town-folk when you let them in on your reality. Must have been priceless.
 

What's weird is that after some initial shock, people said, "Well, that explains some things." And the odd thing, not odd now that I think of it, is that some of the people that I get on with best are Aggie Corpsmen. They respect honesty and balls and also we have similar political opinions. And I can say things to them that I can't say in public which involve doing violence to various mouthy people...
 

Here's my very belated addition to the Obamiconfest!


 

HELL YES!!!!!!


 

Is it possible to buy a couple thousand of the duece of clubs(Mickey Mouse)? Then every time I pass a parked car with an Obama bumper sticker I could put one under the windshield wiper.
 

Arch Axel - if you're serious, an order can be placed with the printer that did my decks of cards. Contact me via the feedback button in the main menu.
 

In a Vicotry For The People, capitalist class enemy MissHell Milkin posted the King of Spades. Maybe there's HOPE for her afterall...
 

Let's not forget this card:


 

His O'liness looks like a constipated Queen Victoria.
 

Hero