Obama Playing Cards for the Masses

"Everybody is an equal winner!"

(Suitable for playing in a box car with other political prisoners)



See the full deck >>
List of all characters >>

The wild popularity of our Obama poster parodies has motivated us to create a set of playing cards for the toiling masses with these images, under the title "To each according to his hyphen" and the subtitle "Everybody is an equal winner."

Making 54 pictures in vector format took a lot of time, but the glorious news is that all these files are now also available for making high-resolution posters, T-shirts, and other revolutionary products.

Incorporating this project into the current Five Year Plan required an unparalleled effort and sacrifice from all comrades in Central Planning and Visual Agitation Departments. Striving to meet the quota ahead of schedule we didn't spare creativity in implementing a series of motivational purges, denunciations, deportations, and executions. But despite such selfless efforts, the backstabbing capitalist saboteurs still managed to delay our shipment and we received the final product only this afternoon, which makes it too late for the Winter Solstice Holiday online shopping - but just in time for the New Year shopping!



Here are the thumbnail images of all the cards so you know what you're getting:



And here is a complete list in case you don't recognize any of the characters.

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]ACE [/col-3][col-3]Reagan [/col-3][col-3]Solution[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]ACE [/col-3][col-3]Aristotle [/col-3][col-3]DWEM (dead white European male)[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]ACE [/col-3][col-3]Washington [/col-3][col-3]WAR[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]ACE [/col-3][col-3]Thatcher [/col-3][col-3]Iron[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]KING [/col-3][col-3]Bill Clinton [/col-3][col-3]Grope[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]KING [/col-3][col-3]McCain [/col-3][col-3]Not Obama[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]KING [/col-3][col-3]Obama - Red Army [/col-3][col-3]Sacrifice[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]KING [/col-3][col-3]Bush [/col-3][col-3]Cope[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]QUEEN [/col-3][col-3]Palin [/col-3][col-3]Glass Ceiling[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]QUEEN [/col-3][col-3]Hillary [/col-3][col-3]Empress[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]QUEEN [/col-3][col-3]Michelle [/col-3][col-3]Bitter[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]QUEEN [/col-3][col-3]Pelosi [/col-3][col-3]Children[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]JACK [/col-3][col-3]Kerry [/col-3][col-3]Heinz[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]JACK [/col-3][col-3]Ted Kennedy [/col-3][col-3]Scotch[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]JACK [/col-3][col-3]Biden [/col-3][col-3]Scranton[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]JACK [/col-3][col-3]Al Gore [/col-3][col-3]Footprint[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]10 [/col-3][col-3]Ayn Rand [/col-3][col-3]Shrug[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]10 [/col-3][col-3]Soros [/col-3][col-3]Cash[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]10 [/col-3][col-3]Che [/col-3][col-3]Marketing[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]10 [/col-3][col-3]Saul Alinsky [/col-3][col-3]Coach[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]9 [/col-3][col-3]F.D.Roosevelt [/col-3][col-3]Depression[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]9 [/col-3][col-3]Mao [/col-3][col-3]Chairperson[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]9 [/col-3][col-3]Stalin [/col-3][col-3]UNCLE[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]9 [/col-3][col-3]Hitler [/col-3][col-3]Nat. Socialism[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]8 [/col-3][col-3]Mathews [/col-3][col-3]Tingle[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]8 [/col-3][col-3]Limbaugh [/col-3][col-3]Radio[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]8 [/col-3][col-3]Helen Thomas [/col-3][col-3]Media[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]8 [/col-3][col-3]Cowbell [/col-3][col-3]Cowbell[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]7 [/col-3][col-3]Joe [/col-3][col-3]Flush[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]7 [/col-3][col-3]Jesse Jackson [/col-3][col-3]Nuts[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]7 [/col-3][col-3]Wright [/col-3][col-3]Damn[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]7 [/col-3][col-3]Ayers [/col-3][col-3]Education[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]6 [/col-3][col-3]Carter [/col-3][col-3]Malaise[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]6 [/col-3][col-3]McKinney [/col-3][col-3]Tinfoil[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]6 [/col-3][col-3]Obama [/col-3][col-3]Faith[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]6 [/col-3][col-3]Nader [/col-3][col-3]No hope[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]5 [/col-3][col-3]Groucho Marx [/col-3][col-3]Marxism[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]5 [/col-3][col-3]Harpo [/col-3][col-3]Harpo-Marxism[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]5 [/col-3][col-3]Arafat [/col-3][col-3]Nobel Prize[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]5 [/col-3][col-3]Kim [/col-3][col-3]Juche[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]4 [/col-3][col-3]Big Brother [/col-3][col-3]Brother[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]4 [/col-3][col-3]Goa'uld [/col-3][col-3]Goa'uld[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]4 [/col-3][col-3]Darth Vader [/col-3][col-3]Father[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]4 [/col-3][col-3]Soup Nazi [/col-3][col-3]Soup[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]3 [/col-3][col-3]Liberty [/col-3][col-3]Government[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]3 [/col-3][col-3]Uncle Sam [/col-3][col-3]Press One for English[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]3 [/col-3][col-3]Chicago [/col-3][col-3]Chicago[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]3 [/col-3][col-3]OJ Simpson [/col-3][col-3]Yes We Can[/col-3]

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[col-3]HEARTS [/col-3][col-3]2 [/col-3][col-3]Laika [/col-3][col-3]Laika[/col-3]

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[col-3]DIAMONDS [/col-3][col-3]2 [/col-3][col-3]Hopey [/col-3][col-3]Hopey[/col-3]

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[col-3]SPADES [/col-3][col-3]2 [/col-3][col-3]Mad Hatter [/col-3][col-3]PROGRESS backwards[/col-3]

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[col-3]CLUBS [/col-3][col-3]2 [/col-3][col-3]Mickey [/col-3][col-3]Voter[/col-3]

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[col-3]JOKER [/col-3][col-3]Marx [/col-3][col-3]Cube[/col-3]

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[col-3]JOKER [/col-3][col-3]Marx [/col-3][col-3]Cube[/col-3]

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I love this deck comrade, however, I must ask why are there RethugliKKKans in this deck. Aren't we a progressive collection for a greater cause?
 

Comrade_Elliott

I love this deck comrade, however, I must ask why are there RethugliKKKans in this deck. Aren't we a progressive collection for a greater cause?

So the Commissar of Show Trials can use as an aid for interrogation and identification of known accomplices.

So the Commissar of Firing Squads can use as an aid for marksmanship target practice.

So the Kulaks will look over their shoulders while playing cards (proles don't have time to play.)

So the Commissar of Diet, and Exercise will give us a good visual aid when conducting the Daily Hate program.



Oh, and most importantly, so the Commissar of Urban Wealth Redistribution and Drive-by Defense will show his homies who to target.
 

Now it makes sense.
 

I would like to buy liberate some of these cards but the ADD TO CART button doesnt seem to be working
 

Our great leader has again identified a need within the collective and met it with creative genius. We salute you, Cube One!

As Commissar of Motherland Security, I will immediately requisition 200,000 decks to supply air raid shelters and Chicago elementary schools with politically reliable entertainment. My personal favorites: IRON, CASH, BITTER and FATHER!
 

Glorious Cube Master,

I am humbled by your inclusion of the Che' in your superb deck of playing cards. As a revolutionary of the people, I have been honored numerous times. Your homage to my marketing skills is somewhat misplaced, however. The Visual Agitation Department and Central PLanning has done all of the work, and therefore must receive all of the profits. I say, use my likeness for any purpose the Party wishes. I plan to order some posters for the restaurant. Do they come framed, or have you a recommended vendor who could do this? KUDOS to you and your hardworking associates, Sir.

No one does it better than the CUBE!

Che' Gourmet

 

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...
(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)


 

This is an amazing collection you have here Red I Vladimir Toot'en am proud, and approve distribution of this merchandise.

All profits go to me.

AbecedariusRex

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...
(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)



Red missed that one that would be a great Joker card.
 

Marx is funnier.
 

Okay, at the risk of serious libel, here's a possibility...


 

The joker card is much too high of an honor for Franken. He's Not Good Enough, Not Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Don't Like Him!
 

AbecedariusRex

Okay, at the risk of serious libel, here's a possibility...



(off)
That must be Al without all the makeup on.
 

HEY!! Wait a minute, There are only four aces!!
They will never be accepted in Chicagograd.
Use Gov Blaggo as the 5th ACE?? Why not add a whole NEW suit ?? Clubs-Diamonds-Hearts-Spades AND Acorns ??
 

If the King of Diamonds card in your deck becomes torn (or even more worn out from old age) and needs replaced, prehaps Red Cube would consider the following suggestion:




 

Very amusing. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Bernie said I should go slumming here. You little people are so, ummm..., lowbrow and oafish - in a nice way. Playing cards, gambling, lots of cheap gin and malt liquor too, no doubt. Oh well. You don't need to live lives of poverty and despair any longer. We have resumed our rightful place.
 

I have humble suggestion, if you plan a second printing to update your marvelous card deck that you revise the Jack of Spades. Though Scranton is a nice touch, the revisionist suggestion below may be a little more apropos………


 

Comrade_Elliott

I love this deck comrade, however, I must ask why are there RethugliKKKans in this deck. Aren't we a progressive collection for a greater cause?

The actual reason Big Red put Repugnicans in the mix is for a "Manchurian Candidate" style revolution. When one of these cards is observed by the victim operative, he / she / transgendered or whatever will do anything it is programmed to do.

I must say they have been cooking up some pretty powerful drugs medications for those who are so willing to sacrifice for the common good. Their numbers names will live on in history as great revolutionaries.
 

Can I buy a case or two of 'Jack of Hearts' on the roll?
My stash of corn cobs has run out and I need a suitable replacement ASAP?
 

The Queen of Diamonds in the original deck is somehow not quite right…..
I think the one below might better sum it up………






"COMMUNIST"
(Get your minds out of the gutter)
 

Queen Caroline

Very amusing. I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Bernie said I should go slumming here. You little people are so, ummm..., lowbrow and oafish - in a nice way. Playing cards, gambling, lots of cheap gin and malt liquor too, no doubt. Oh well. You don't need to live lives of poverty and despair any longer. We have resumed our rightful place.

Hey, Queenie Weenie! Welcome to El Cubo Populo. Anytime you want to eat a little soul food, your honkeyship, just let me know.


thanks to Dodgeblogium for the visual.
 

Vladimir Toot'en

This is an amazing collection you have here Red I Vladimir Toot'en am proud, and approve distribution of this merchandise.

All profits go to me.

AbecedariusRex

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...
(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)



Red missed that one that would be a great Joker card.

Comrade Franken would be a great addition to the deck. But wouldn't he just demand recounts on why he ended up on the card he did? What about those additional decks of cards he may claim are in a voting location?
 

For the Party's consideration....concerning the Jack of Clubs for the next edition of playing cards.......



 

Can't we just be happy with the current awesomeness? Why must we always be trying to improve upon the perfect?!?
 

Quote:

Premier Betty wrote:
Why must we always be trying to improve upon the perfect?!?


Hey that's progress........

Last one I promise (just like Dear Leader)........


 

I know I said in my previous post of "redone" cards purloined from the masterful original deck that it would be my last. However, I was motivated by Red Square to look up and study the cast of characters on the cards that I was not very familiar with. Soros was one that I admit I didn't know well, other than he was filthy rich.

What I found looking around was quite an eye-opener and it is a true testament to the Ministry of MiS-Information's Mission (MSM) of keeping the facts generic and suppressed.

Though the title of Red Square's Soros' card "Cash" is both accurate and succinct, after a little reasearch I feel that the card below might sum it up better......




Here's a starting point with references : http://selwynduke.typepad.com/selwyndukecom/george-soros-the-most-evi.html
 

Proletarian Robot,

Buenas Dias comrade and a merry Winter Solstice Holiday (Gaia be praised) to you!
I do hope you are not defaming (but only honoring) our own Daddy Warbucks, i.e.: the "good" George? He is indeed the model that all progressives should emulate.

While the writer in the aforementioned artilce is literally, quite talented, with the absolute power that the George wields, the blasphemous traitor won't have too long to live in our World of This Tuesday! Soros is our global ambassator, and held in very high regard by the Party.

Viva La' Revolution, comrade Robot! I must now go and prepare a feast of epic proportions to feed the Inner Circle!

Che' Gourmet
 

Che Gourmet

I do hope you are not defaming (but only honoring) our own Daddy Warbucks, i.e.: the "good" George? He is indeed the model that all progressives should emulate.

Che Gourmet!
You misunderstood me!

I was um, um…(gulp)..in no way impugning (gulp!) Grand Marshal $oros’s good name. I am so sorry that it might have appeared that way. Perhaps it was too much Egg-Nog (party approved of course) last night.

I salute the Ministry of MiS Information’s Mission (MSM) for being the Vanguard of the people and letting us know only what we should and need to know!

I denounce the writer of that worthless, slanderous and factless blog as an enemy of the People’s Democracy ™ !! The similarity between $oros’s previous manipulation of the British and Thailand’s government and then the subsequent crash of their stock markets making him billions of dollars is entirely coincidental and should in no way be inferred with his current support of Dear Leader!

I shall have front row seats for the event in our World of This Tuesday, despite the fact that there won’t be any where near enough porta-potties for the masses! This proves my unflagging devotion to the Party.


 

AbecedariusRex

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...
(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)



come on...we all know you Photoshopped(tm) this. Nobody is that ugly in real life.
 

Do these cards make me equal more than others?
 

Come, come tovaren! These are the glorious inspirations for the communist revolution taking place within the enlightened masses!
 

Ivan From Village 62

AbecedariusRex

As a prole from the great socialist republic of Minnesota I'd offer this character for the Joker card...
(*can't do the red blue and pumice thing so please help me and I will continue to dig this trench*)



come on...we all know you Photoshopped(tm) this. Nobody is that ugly in real life.

No, he is.
I did photoshop it a little bit, though; see above.
 

This Current Truth^TM post is like crack or meth once you start you just can't leave it alone.

Full appologies to Red Square but his Queen of Hearts in my opinion was just not quite accurate enough with the title Glass Ceiling and did not clearly reflect her performance during the recent presidential campaign season. The poorly doctored card below is my re-interpretation......



 

How do you guys make these posters? I really wish someone made one with Joseph Heller's picture, and wrote "Catch-22" under it. It would definitely be great. An Osama picture with "Peace", "Liberty" or "Freedom" would be good too. If you know what I mean. If some makes the Heller one for me, I'd like it without a card.

Thanks for sharing
 

How many people will recognize Heller's face when they see him?
 

I guess I don't know why he would get his own card. The best one in the playing deck to get the title of "Catch 22" in my opinion would be McCain. He sure beats Obama but a "Catch 22" would be what you would get having a Moderate Republican at the helm classically: "you're damned if you do and damned if you don't" (i.e. stuck with Obama).........
 

Red Square

How many people will recognize Heller's face when they see him?



I will. I have a voice.
 

The Skinnee Jay

Red Square

How many people will recognize Heller's face when they see him?



I will. I have a voice.

Here you have no voice your voice is a collective thought by Red Square he does the thinking for us as Socialist Progressives.
 

Then The Red Square will recognize Joseph Heller's face. A face of the actor of the film that plays Yossarian could be cool too. I prefer Heller's though.
 

The Skinnee Jay

A face of the actor of the film that plays Yossarian could be cool too. I prefer Heller's though.

Alan Arkin, If memory serves me correctly.

--
ZB
 

Red Square! Your 8 of Clubs will likely be ringing a different tune after Jan 20, 2009!
(PS: Sorry for the inexcusably poor Hack-Job on your most excellent card deck!)





 

Hey, if The Skinnee Jay gets his own card with Joseph Heller on it, then I want one with Danielle Steel--what's that, is there an echo in here? And how dare you ask why!

Because MY NAME IS PINKIE OBAMA, dammit!

Don't give me any lip about how no one here knows who Danielle is or what she looks like--I know, and that's all that matters, dammit!

And what do you mean, "How does she fit in with the rest of the cards?" Who says she has to? The Card Fairy? I say she doesn't, because I'M PINKIE OBAMA! Dammit!

And another thing. You put a plastic dish of M & M's on my dressing table this evening. I specifically said I wanted them served in Waterford crystal ONLY, dammit! Plus you forgot to remove all the orange M & M's--AGAIN! Now I'll have nothing but bad karma till the next full moon.

For that matter, so will you.

Don't forget what happened the last time you tried telling me you have a life "too" like you think you're as equal as I am.

I'll be back on Monday with an even longer list of unreasonable demands, so get cracking. Do I have to do everything around here?
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Hey, if The Skinnee Jay gets his own card with Joseph Heller on it, then I want one with Danielle Steel--what's that, is there an echo in here? And how dare you ask why!

Because MY NAME IS PINKIE OBAMA, dammit!

Don't give me any lip about how no one here knows who Danielle is or what she looks like--I know, and that's all that matters, dammit!

And what do you mean, "How does she fit in with the rest of the cards?" Who says she has to? The Card Fairy? I say she doesn't, because I'M PINKIE OBAMA! Dammit!

And another thing. You put a plastic dish of M & M's on my dressing table this evening. I specifically said I wanted them served in Waterford crystal ONLY, dammit! Plus you forgot to remove all the orange M & M's--AGAIN! Now I'll have nothing but bad karma till the next full moon.

For that matter, so will you.

Don't forget what happened the last time you tried telling me you have a life "too" like you think you're as equal as I am.

I'll be back on Monday with an even longer list of unreasonable demands, so get cracking. Do I have to do everything around here?

I heard M&M is a big bad corporation. I hope you know what that means. Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People. I'm still gonna get my Heller card because Red Square <3 Skinnee Jay.
 

Zampolit Blokhayev

The Skinnee Jay

A face of the actor of the film that plays Yossarian could be cool too. I prefer Heller's though.

Alan Arkin, If memory serves me correctly.

--
ZB


Oh and sorry for double-post, but yeah. He played Yossaria. I checked it at Wikipedia.
 

The Skinnee Jay

Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People.

And Commissarka Pinkie's voice counts because she got The Sharp Shovel of Collective Correction.
 

Does the Sharp Shovel of Collective Correction have a People's Red Revolutionary Stick of Justice as a handle? I really need to get authorization to make a factory to produce those and come up with a five year plan for production!
 

Commissarka Pinkie, I do apologize missing your adopting the name of Pinkie Obama. The Cube is a big and wondrous thing and I spend all of my time with my legs crossed in a mantra position saying, "My legs aren't like this to protect the family jewels but because it's Marx..hum..Engels..hum..Mao...hum...Soros...hum...Zinn...hum...Algore...hum"

When you do that much creative meditating you are sure to miss things.

I'm not quite sure though how you're Pinkie Obama. Was this a special dispensation from Rev. Jeremiah Wright in the few milliseconds when he was not saying, "God DAMN America!"? I'd think that Missy Michelle might not like the suggestion that His O'liness had two Hos for O.
 

You dare disrespect me? Red Square?"

Where is my card? The most important card in the deck, you idiot! You have a short memory! Come and dine with me, I will help you get your memory refreshment, uh, refreshed.

This is what goes on the damn card!

His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC ['Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.
 

The Skinnee Jay

I heard M&M is a big bad corporation. I hope you know what that means. Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People. I'm still gonna get my Heller card because Red Square <3 Skinnee Jay.

Spare me your petty distractions from The Real Issues, Skinnee Jay.

Yes, I eat M & M's a couple of times a year, and I feel horribly guilty about it, just as I feel guilty about plagiarizing the words of others like Laurie David. I probably shouldn't do it. But the truth is, I'm not perfect. This is not about perfection. I don't expect anyone else to be perfect either. That's what hurts the Progressive Movement--holding people to a standard they cannot meet. That just pushes people away.

The important thing is that I care about the issues that matter--the right to abortion, opposition to the Iraq war, and undying hatred of Bush. In fact, I have worked tirelessly to Raise Awareness about the issues that matter, to show the world just how much I care. That's the hardest, bravest, most patriotic thing in the world to do, Skinnee Jay, and all you can do is snipe at me for eating M & M's. It's easy to just stand around and criticize others; whereas it takes great courage to do what I'm doing to take our country back from the irreversible destruction Bush has wrought. Yes, even as I sit here eating my M & M's, I'm always thinking of how he's destroyed the world forever, and because of that I must never give up Raising Awareness of The One's promise to deliver us from the evil that is Bush.

Now, Skinnee Jay, do you have anything of substance to contribute to this discussion?

Anything?

Anything at all?
 

Pinkie, do you eat Fair Trade peanut M&Ms? You must be sure that the peanuts were grown by unionized labor, unless they came off Parson Carter's farm and then they're okay.
 

Theocritus, I don't eat nuts. Instead I smash them with the broad side of my shovel before grinding them into the mud with the heel of my boot.

Next question?
 

Is that a trick you learned from Our Many Titted Empress? You know, after the Clintons had their dog Buddy neutered we didn't hear a great deal about the Presidential Pecker and then he had a heart problem. The rhubarb was that Hillary had found a two-for-one sale.

Is there a connection? Well?
 

Theocritus, as you know I was a faithful Hillary Operative until The One descended from above, so I'm no longer that kind of HO. I am now a Hussie for Obama, but I will not hesitate to use the lessons I learned from the Empress in defense and praise of His 'Oly Name.

Skinnee Jay: Nice avatar. Would you be one of the Sailor Scouts? I thought they all disbanded to join the Obama Youth so they could use their special powers to spread Hope and Change throughout the universe.

And if it means you're a gurl, then that will greatly excite The Man With The Hand That Holds The Cube. He tends to drop it with a great surprised clunk every time a new female wanders into The Collective.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

The Skinnee Jay

I heard M&M is a big bad corporation. I hope you know what that means. Also, only The Red Square's voice counts because he got The Voice of The People. I'm still gonna get my Heller card because Red Square <3 Skinnee Jay.

Spare me your petty distractions from The Real Issues, Skinnee Jay.

Yes, I eat M & M's a couple of times a year, and I feel horribly guilty about it, just as I feel guilty about plagiarizing the words of others like Laurie David. I probably shouldn't do it. But the truth is, I'm not perfect. This is not about perfection. I don't expect anyone else to be perfect either. That's what hurts the Progressive Movement--holding people to a standard they cannot meet. That just pushes people away.

The important thing is that I care about the issues that matter--the right to abortion, opposition to the Iraq war, and undying hatred of Bush. In fact, I have worked tirelessly to Raise Awareness about the issues that matter, to show the world just how much I care. That's the hardest, bravest, most patriotic thing in the world to do, Skinnee Jay, and all you can do is snipe at me for eating M & M's. It's easy to just stand around and criticize others; whereas it takes great courage to do what I'm doing to take our country back from the irreversible destruction Bush has wrought. Yes, even as I sit here eating my M & M's, I'm always thinking of how he's destroyed the world forever, and because of that I must never give up Raising Awareness of The One's promise to deliver us from the evil that is Bush.

Now, Skinnee Jay, do you have anything of substance to contribute to this discussion?

Anything?

Anything at all?


Woops. I thought progress was supposed to be perfect. I mean, didn't Karl Marx wanted a perfect society? However, I do understand your problems. I will also Raise wareness and protest against Bush. I bet Da Mamba KKKonspirasi was his fault.
 

Skinnee Jay Wrote

Quote:

Oh and sorry for double-post, but yeah. He played Yossaria. I checked it at Wikipedia.




Gloriousl! Our proles are using the NewsSpeak Creation "WIKI" (Worthless Information Knowingly Inserted) system and feeling very confident concerning the answers obtained there. Yet another hard won victory for the Party and the Ministry of MiS-Information's Mission (MSM).

The Wikipedia has Commandant Gore listed as a Harvard cum laude graduate despite his many C grades and a D in earth science. When Harvard was asked about it, they stated he did have a cum laude average in his Government Classes. Another great example of DoubleSpeak. Truly we are winning this war.....
 

And all environmental issues are corrected by Tabletop--who switches to the current truth hundreds of times a day.
 

The Skinnee Jay

Woops. I thought progress was supposed to be perfect. I mean, didn't Karl Marx wanted a perfect society? However, I do understand your problems. I will also Raise wareness and protest against Bush. I bet Da Mamba KKKonspirasi was his fault.

Today's Modern Progressives uh De Party (should be trademarked fo' socialism soon) duzn't hold demselves down t'puh'fecshun. Dat would interfere wid de feelin's uh de Victim Class dat we's depend downon fo' unquesshunin' suppo't. Man! So's whut if Bill lied unda' oad in sexual harassment law suit; dat's about sex, and we all honky jibe about sex. Right? Feel bettah? ah' do. 'S coo', bro. Only de O'ly One be puh'fect, as long as we's feel pimp-tight about his intenshuns.

Now, we's do hold conservatives down t'de standard uh puh'fecshun. If ya' even tap yo' toes in de men's room, den ya' iz EBIL and gots'ta end yo' life. Dat be why Bu$hitla' be so's hated by de baaaad feelin' folks uh Today's Modern Progressives uh De Party^_TM--CUZ BUSH WON'T UHF HISELF WHEN WE (Party members, intellectuals, and media o'gans) TELLS HIM DAT HE BE EBIL. Feel pissed about Bush? See dat gots'ta all make sense; if not stand in Jiffy-Lobo line.

NEXT FOO' brace yourself!



(Today's Modern Progressives of The Party (should be trademarked for socialism soon) don't hold themselves up to perfection. That would interfere with the feelings of the Victim Class that we depend upon for unquestioning support. So what if Bill lied under oath in sexual harassment law suit; that's about sex, and we all lie about sex. Right? Feel better? I do. Only the O'ly One is perfect, as long as we feel good about his intentions.

Now, we do hold conservatives up to the standard of perfection. If you even tap your toes in the men's room, then you are EVIL and must end your life. That is why Bu$hitler is so hated by the good feeling folks of Today's Modern Progressives of The Party^TM--BECAUSE BUSH WON'T OFF HIMSELF WHEN WE (Party members, intellectuals, and media organs) TELL HIM THAT HE IS EVIL. Feel enraged about Bush? See it will all make sense; if not stand in Jiffy-Lobo line.

NEXT PATIENT PLEASE.)




Da Peeps' Rapper
Comrade C2G хулиганье

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.
 

Wait. You're saying we're not perfect because we are the Victim class? Oh I see. We support the Victim class. However, we can't support the Victim class if they're not victims right? Oh I see! Then what do you think of what Israel is doing right now against the HamAss?

Oh, and can anyone tell me how to do that "TM" thing? Thanks for sharing!
 

Skinnee Jay, we support victims if we can't claim to be victims. It's much better to be a vicim than anything else, unless you can support victims and then get to say who gets to do what, and the power is better than the misery memoir. I mean, what would you prefer: having wounds or selling the gauze and antiseptic and making other people pay for it?

Hamas is good because when Hamas tries to blow up Israelis and they screw up and get hurt and try to go back to Palestine, the Palestinians won't have them and the Israeli hospitals treat the people who tried to kill them.

That makes Hamas good and Israel bad. Get it?

Remember: actions do not have direct consequences.
 

Comrade CTtheGM,

I'll bet you're really happy that Comrade Dr. Strangelove gave you a translator for the Solstice Holiday. I know I am. Is it derived from Swahili? Our Obamessiah speaks this dialect too,(as do all Kenyans) Has Commissar Theocritis tossed some bling your way, yet for your tireless promotion of his new $$$ grabbing scheme?

And Comrade Skinnee Jay, what is this bullshit about our glorious Red Square 's <3 than you?
You had better watch what you say about our wonderful Red Trapezoid! He wields the biggest, baddest shovel of all in the collective, prole!
 

I heard Israel also treats people HamAss didn't mean to hurt. Like normal Palestinians. How about that?

Comrade Che Gourment. I meant The Red Square loves me just like he loves all of us. After all, he fights for the The People.
 

We must also hate Israel for their very large number of entrepreneurs, their start-ups, and their technology. They design silicon chips, the same ones that Palestinians used in computers to get calling lists to call Americans to get them to vote for his O'liness. Who seems to be staffing his cabinet with people with no use for Israel. But since American Jews voted 81% for the Obamessiah, no doubt that will all turn around just fine.
 

Oh yeah I forgot. Israel is civilized-we should be progressive and go back to living in the nature. Like in "Lord of the Flies" right? Ralph is just a turd there. Jack was amazing. He sure supported freedom and equality and got rid of anyone who resisted.

Our teacher made us read that book, by the way. I live in Israel, so maybe it isn't so good if an Israeli teacher told you to read it.
 

You live in Israel? How can you have sympathy with the downtrodden? Your hospitals serve all sick people. You have an actual democracy. That is not the right thing for a progressive leading us to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

For this you are sentenced to cleaning off the remnants of the talent-shitting bird on the Rancho de Rio Grande.
 

Commissar Theocritus

Skinnee Jay, we support victims if we can't claim to be victims. It's much better to be a vicim than anything else, unless you can support victims and then get to say who gets to do what, and the power is better than the misery memoir. I mean, what would you prefer: having wounds or selling the gauze and antiseptic and making other people pay for it?

Yo G,

Mah' favo'ite be when we's make da damn victims; blame da damn evil conservatives; gain powa' ta suppo't da damn victims; make mo'e victims wiff dat power; and den snatch mo'al credit fo' wheelsin` fo' da victims. Liberal job security, cuz' we's wheelse. Yo knows das right!


(My favorite is when we make the victims; blame the evil conservatives; gain power to support the victims; make more victims with that power; and then take moral credit for caring for the victims. Liberal job security, because we care.)

Che Gourmet

I'll bet you're really happy that Comrade Dr. Strangelove gave you a translator for the Solstice Holiday. I know I am. Is it derived from Swahili? Our Obamessiah speaks this dialect too,(as do all Kenyans) Has Commissar Theocritis tossed some bling your way, yet for your tireless promotion of his new $$$ grabbing scheme?

Yo G!

Ah' love muh ma fuckin translator. Ah' gots 'ta run dat dree times, ghetto-jibe-ebonics, ta dig dat ta mossey on down out solid. Ah' ain't takin' nahh sheeit fo' bling from Commissar Theocritis. Ah' do owe him fo' muh ma fuckin life. When muh ma fuckin community o'ganization skills failed ta win Texas fo' his O'ly'ness, Ah' wuz marked fo' de end. Brotha Deo gots me uh gig as uh gang-banger. Ah be baad... Now Ah' snatch steady bre'd fo' da system subsidies as uh puh'fomin' rappa, as long as I duzn' really rap. Don't make me come ovah there bitch...


(I love my translator. I have to run it through three times, ghetto-jive-ebonics, to get it to come out right. I haven't receivedanything from Commissar Theocritis. I do owe him for my life. When my community organization skills failed to win Texas for his O'ly'ness, I was marked for termination. Brother Theo got me a gig as a gang-banger. Now I take steady money for government subsidies as a performing rap artist, as long as I don't really rap.)




Da Peeps' Rapper
Comrade C2G хулиганье

And makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.
 

Commissar Theocritus

You live in Israel? How can you have sympathy with the downtrodden? Your hospitals serve all sick people. You have an actual democracy. That is not the right thing for a progressive leading us to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

For this you are sentenced to cleaning off the remnants of the talent-shitting bird on the Rancho de Rio Grande.



I don't have sympathy for Israel. Famous bands come here. Anime community is evolving and Mangas are being sold without censorship. Library contains offensive books as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and there are attractions for gamers. I won't even go to the technology. It's a disgusting place. I can't write anymore. Not enough people pick a shovel and support true freedom. They just follow their hobbies and actually do something with their lives. Unlike ol' great HamAss.
 

I'm glad to find that you care nothing for Israel. You're quite right: shovels over research. Democracy over strapping bombs to retarded women. I bet you can't find a single Israeli willing to strap a bomb on his one-year-old child.
 

Let me correct you: Strapping bombs to retarded women over democracy. Sadly, Israelis around me value their lives more than the lives of a Hamasnic who wants to kill them.

Hamas + Marxism=Hamarxism.
 

The Skinnee Jay

Oh, and can anyone tell me how to do that "TM" thing? Thanks for sharing!
You type ( tm ) without spaces. It will automatically be replaced by ™ once you hit "enter". Any time you're curious about an element in the post, click on "quote" and examine the resulting code.

Oh, and I changed your avatar, The Skinnee Jay, to make it more compliant with the our revolutionary ideals: big red bows on top and big red D-cups on the chest. That is our standard for female comrades unless you are part of the Breasts Not Bombs collective; those have the Party permission to parade around without the big red D-cups on the chest - or any other cups for that matter.
 

That TM thing is also, on a Mac, Option-2.
 

Commissar Theocritus

That TM thing is also, on a Mac, Option-2.


I just gank it from some utta sucka. They has it an' I need it. Dat be fair trade in party speak, just ax Comrade Biden.

(If you are against plagiarism, you can also use the people's WYSIWYG editor's 'X²' button.)
 

Dear comrade The Red Square!
Please use that color job on the whole picture:

- http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/3075 ... yanba8.jpg

Also, please don't resize. Thanks, comrade!
Edit: There's something wrong with posting links. So you'll have to copy-paste it. I isolated it to make it easier for you comrade. Thanks for Sharing(tm).
 

A URL converts automatically to a link if it's preceded by other characters, but it doesn't if it starts a paragraph. So placing a dash or another character followed by space before the URL helps to turn it into a link.

I may do your request some other day when I have more free time. But you must justify the relevance of such work to advancing the Party cause, class struggle, and establishing the proletarian dictatorship. At this point the only connection I can see is weakening of the conservative bourgeois morals through pedophilia.
 

It will help us because the cuteness will provoke more people to join the party. They can be good mascots. Some people may not be attracted by Karl Marx or Che Guevara.

CHE LIVES.
 

Skinnee Jay: Are you suggesting we attract more male comrades to the Party by making them think they'll get to romp around with hot commie babes who look like this?




The guys go to bed with you, but they wake up with me.
 

No, not really. They're just plain cute. We don't use Karl Marx because girls might sleep with him (Or Che Guevara).

Will The Red Square support Sharing(tm) and fill my request?
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Skinnee Jay: Are you suggesting we attract more male comrades to the Party by making them think they'll get to romp around with hot commie babes who look like this?

{{{insert pedophiliac encouraging image of polythene girl/women in skimpy clothing here.}}}


The guys go to bed with you, but they wake up with me.

Comrades! These inflatable units need to be distributed equally to all party members. I know of a few comrades in Japan who even now are moving to be married to their cartoon character of choice. This would be the ideal for the new model of marriage in the world of next Tuesday. If the spousal unit were to offend physically or emotionally, out comes the eraser and all is well; no cartoon, no problem, I say! Slaves and repositories of lust with only the stroke of a pen. Perhaps the ONE(TM) could add this to his burgeoning agenda of important issues. Ten cartoon women to every man, mr. president.
 

Anime industry is on it's way to Capitalism(tm). I simply suggest using these too before the whole industry gets corrupt. Just like we use Chrismas to destroy the capitalist Christians, we shall use these 2 to destroy the capitalist Anime industry.