Obama Rides Unicorns, Michelle Rides Dolphins

Men ride unicorns, women ride dolphins. Everybody knows that. What we didn't know was that unicorns could also apply massage oils on their riders at the beach as they drink piña colada, or that dolphins could join Code Pink, cover their private parts with Obama logo, and wear S&M gear.

This discussion started as an auxiliary tunnel on another thread dedicated to Zen and the Art of Shovel Maintenance, but the Party is convinced that it deserves to be dug as a glorious separate tunnel. Sharpen your shovels, comrades!

Dan Lacey, the artist formerly known for painting pancakes on a penis and other body parts, has now (with historical inevitability) redirected his aim at the world of politics. He started by painting Sarah Palin with a stack of pancakes on her head, then did the same for Barack Obama, and most recently even painted Rush the Hut to much amusement of the readers of Gawker.

But let's not get distracted with bourgeois temptations of food, eroticism, and sex acts with baked goods! Think of it as a Party-approved example of politically correct thought process. It shall guide you to correct conclusions.

Michelle Obama (right) horses around on top of a pink dolphin... No doubt something from Sister Massively Opiated's dreams during the most recent pink period...


Financial mechanisms developed in the last few hundred years are a big capitalist lie. The only way to tackle the bear market on Wall Street is to jump on top of it while riding naked on a unicorn with a muscular manly rump and the Obama logo at the base of its horn.


Fairness in the media can only be achieved through a heroic act of nude president Obama as he and his homoerotic Unicorn One tackle every square inch of Rush Limbaugh's glorious naked body.


The ambiguously gay duo relaxes on the beach after winning the battle over the evils of rational thinking. Who would've thougt that Progressive World of Next Tuesday looks so much like Paul Gauguin's painting?


Our shoveling collective is split on this one. Half of the toiling shovelers want to be more like President Obama, while the other half want to be like his unicorn.

What about you, comrade? Who do you envy most in this picture?

Right Wing News suggests more new ideas for the naked Obama unicorn art here.

• Barack Obama playing strip poker with a bunch of unicorns while a group of angry dogs waits for the table to free up in the back.
• Michelle looking upset as Barack tells her he's leaving her for the unicorn.
• Naked Obama dancing in a unicorn pride parade on a float that says, "Accept our forbidden love."
• Naked Obama riding a unicorn jousting with naked Palin riding a moose.

Propose your unicorn-chasing ideas here!

---

UPDATE:

Perhaps, having read Right Wing News suggestions, the artist created a new masterpiece:

John Hawkins:
Last time around, there was a painting of a unicorn looking at Barack's back side the same way Keith Olbermann probably looks at a mirror. ... I noted a fab idea Kathy Shaidle came up with: Naked Obama on a unicorn jousting with naked Sarah Palin on a moose. Believe it or not, such a painting now actually exists... You can see it with some strategic blurring included.

 

Rita Mae Brown:


Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda.....
 

Why is The One transporting a huge bag of crap on his shoulder? Perhaps it's just OPM.
 

COV, that's his Super-O cape fluttering in the breeze.

Quote:

Our shoveling collective is split on this one. Half of the toiling shovelers want to be more like President Obama, while the other half want to be like his unicorn.
What about you, comrade? Who do you envy most in this picture?


As for who I envy most in the fifth picture, that honor goes to the yellow straw in Obama's coconut drink. I want to be that straw so I can have his purple lips clasped in sweet puckered embrace around my slender form. I want him to suck on me with a fierce urgency of now, till my tight, narrow passage slakes his thirst for the forbidden refreshment only I can provide.
 

You could just turn yourself into a Newport...
 

The unicorn motif along with the the massage oil on the beach is all so....

Greg Gutfeld...ish

(If you never watched Fox Red Eye, please ignore this comment)
 

It is wonderful to see art that is reminiscent of Socialist Realism. They are beautiful. They remind me a great deal of the wonderful art of Isaak Brodsky.

We need more art of our Honorable, Venerable, Hero of the Masses, Mighty, Holy, Protector of the State, Suppressor of Imperialism, His Majesty Barack Obama.
 

There appears to be a large growth on Obama's back and he jousts with Palin.

Curious.

Comrade Whoopie

The unicorn motif along with the the massage oil on the beach is all so....

Greg Gutfeld...ish

(If you never watched Fox Red Eye, please ignore this comment)

Yes, very Gutfeldesque. All it needs now is a house boy.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

COV, that's his Super-O cape fluttering in the breeze.

Quote:

Our shoveling collective is split on this one. Half of the toiling shovelers want to be more like President Obama, while the other half want to be like his unicorn.
What about you, comrade? Who do you envy most in this picture?


As for who I envy most in the fifth picture, that honor goes to the yellow straw in Obama's coconut drink. I want to be that straw so I can have his purple lips clasped in sweet puckered embrace around my slender form. I want him to suck on me with a fierce urgency of now, till my tight, narrow passage slakes his thirst for the forbidden refreshment only I can provide.

Once again, I must DENOUNCE PINKIE for MAKING MY BRAIN HURT WITH HER DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGES. Please, I am in need of another Jifi Lobo ™ but do not have the funds to do this. Where is the nearest Needs Committee so that I may plead my case?
 

MMMMAhumAhumAhum.... These are absolutely.... C.U.T.E., comrades! It is nice to see a pancake artist create pancakes. We will need plenty of pancakes to feed my minions in the Graveyards.

I usually don't have a pecking for pancakes, comrades, it gives me fowl indigestion. No I'm rather cocked to enjoy flesh, and FleshBoy(TM) will do just fine.

Now where was I... oh yeah... here kitty, kitty, kitty... here kitty kitty kitty.... look into my eye kitty... look closer... closer... good kitty... good kitty...
 

Congratulations on the Jifi Lobo(TM) Comrade fowl. Mmm chicken. That sounds good after a month of beets and the odd stale piece of bread. Is cannibalism acceptable For The Greater Good(TM)?
 

Look Comrade... look closely... look into my eye.... I have secret for you...
 

These images are very Progressive and arousing. Just like our Dear Leader and His vision for the Future of the World of Next Tuesday.
 

Pugsly, Red Rooster BE NICE,
save your energy for the Rethuglikkkans, or the CapitolKKKest. Besides I have arranged for you and your Goons Highly Trained Census takers, to an all you can eat at the Waffle house. There are a few stipulations. No beating up the wait staff, No Burning the building down. No grabbing other customers and asking then if they are aliens from the Crab Nebula. And Please do not use the plates a Frisbies.


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitalityä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith
 

Comrades,

To think people argue against the National Endowment of the Arts when confronted with powerful artistic masterpieces (sorry, pardon the racist implications there) like these. All AIG bonuses, even to those produced real revenue gains, should be redistributed to this comrade.

My sibling, in elementary days, had a peer student who once went to the toilet. He returned with his fly open, Play-Doh of many hues covering his member. That's speaking truth to power! But all this transpired in Dixie, so he got hauled aside, paddled by the The Man (Mrs. Something-Orother), and sent home. What happened to the Play-Doh is a mystery, but I suspect it was shared among the Play-Doh deprived. Today that boy is surely a liberal arts professor, performace artist and professional dole recipient, or DNC powerbroker. Maybe all 3!
 

This is glorious comrades! Whenever I saw this image



I always wanted a more progressive and compassionate way to express my complete bewilderment. Now we have Michelle on a dolphin. Give comrade Lacey an Order of Lenin!
 

Comrads,
This is the works of “art” are the most brilliant interpretation of a communist mind; we must find this man’s home and give him an honorary shovel. Perhaps this great artist is a follower of comrade Pollock who pisses in public.
 

Quote:

we must find this man’s home and give him an honorary shovel.


Were else?
Mimeapolis, Moonbatasota.
I suspect Red was cruising the web for Mimes, Al Frankenberry or Cap'n Causal Crunch for some real progressive insight and came across Dan Lacey.
You can bet this clown extremely progressive artist hangs with Mikael Jonathan Rudolph.
I definitely agree with the honorary shovel. It would serve him better than a paintbrush for more progressive works.
Thank Lenin he found Liberalism. It is rumored that he was pro Pancake Bushitler and pro Pancake Military.


 

NO FREAKIN' WAY! oh that is too too solid flesh. Great! I just did a thought crime in my pants based on that Botero-like picture of Michelle and the sexy dolphin! OOOh, I do love her buff arms.



Snurgle, and the unicorn horn is, snurgle, sticking out of Obama's, snurgle, thingummy.
 

Red Star

Red Rooster BE NICE,
save your energy for the Rethuglikkkans, or the CapitolKKKest. Besides I have arranged for you and your Goons Highly Trained Census takers, to an all you can eat at the Waffle house. There are a few stipulations. No beating up the wait staff, No Burning the building down. No grabbing other customers and asking then if they are aliens from the Crab Nebula. And Please do not use the plates a Frisbies.


Waffles!!! Delicious comrade! I could definitely cannibalize some Waffles! Yummmmmm.... Waffles.... You tempt me to much Comrade.

Comrade
Obamissar 7.62, you are free to go now... I mistook you for a Waffle... urrrrmmmm... need more potato vodka.... meat... meat... meat....

urrrrrrmmmm... urrrrrmmmmmm....
 

*Whacks the rooster upside it's lobotomized head with People's Rifle(TM)* Down bird! Bad socialist bird! Bad, bad bird!
 

Red Rooster

... have arranged for you and your Goons Highly Trained Census takers, to an all you can eat at the Waffle house. ... I could definitely cannibalize some Waffles! Yummmmmm.... Waffles.... You tempt me to much Comrade.
urrrrrrmmmm... urrrrrmmmmmm....

Oh really, Red Rooster, really? You want to experience some cannibalize? Well, that can be arranged. Just flock over to my dinner table, Ha! ha!


His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC ['Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography.
 

Need mo' Idi, an' Ah-min that!
 

ahhhhhhh! thank you comrades! I am contemplating the selling of hyphen t-shits with one big hyphen above and below reads NIHILISM RULES!

My proles in the Graveyard would love them.
 

I feel so dirty... and I live in water...
 

Citizen's

Everyone knows that when you are really "horny", only a "Unicorn" will do! I mean, if you had to choose beteen Michelle and a mythical creature, you got to go with the horse's ass! Tough call here, but that's why he is the "Presentdent"!


Publius


 

Okay.... here we go... rather than go through the whole thing over again, I'll just sent y'all to my already posted answers in another thread, as the less I think about this, the better... I will, however, stress once again, that given all the mythical creatures and pink stuff and floaty shit, the first thing that comes to mind is especially with the pink and the unicorns, is My Little Porno or whatever that cheap plastic girly toy was called...

Anyway... First... about PINK DOLPHINS....

Now... about Laika's questions....

However, I think that were we to forward any of Mr. Lacey's paintings to the Hasbro Company, he and his lawyer might have some splainin' to do...

A pink unicorn!... nope... just a pink horse, but it's got some sort of dildo-like grooming device that comes with it...


...what's with the hooker 'do and the bum beads? not to mention the fake tats?... and what are those long things? whips?


WTF? Is that an ASS? With a tattoo?



Holy Shit! Now that's taking stem cell research a little too far! What is that? A horse with antennae? It sure as shit isn't a dolphin!


Oh wait! ANOTHER PINK UNICORN with another S&M toy!



And Hasbro's even putting out Pink Unicorn Porn... I think someone's gonna be suing Mr. Lacey very soon...

SEE... SEE!... NO DOLPHINS! YOU HUMAN FREAKS! WHAT'S WITH YOU! DO YOU SEE ANY PINK DOLPHINS? AND THAT LACEY DUDE - HE'S GONNA PAY. IF HASBRO DOESN'T DO HIM, THE POD WILL AND IF HE DOESN'T STOP FUCKIN' WITH THE POD, THE POD IS GONNA MAKE THAT NAKED PINK MONKEY WISH HE'D NEVER STOPPED PLAYING WITH HIS FUCKING TRANSFORMERS!!!

PEACE OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
THE POD

AKI! Stop it! You'll scare them... Sorry... sorry... Aki just got a little worked up - you know how teenagers are. I'll just keep him to wet-work for the next few days and make sure he doesn't do any laundry or housekeeping duties, but maybe Meow should hide his Little Pink Pony collection. I wouldn't want to deal with him after losing his precious Hummels...

Anyway, I think that the Housekeeping Kommissariate has made a fairly strong argument toward our non-involvement in any of Mr. Lacey's 'art'. I think I have shown that as a dolphin-warrior and artist I have never gone through a 'Pink Period' though I am quite proud of both my blue and green periods as well as some of my experimental films (no Meow - not that kind of experiemental), and that I hope we can now consider the subject of pink dolphins and Mr. Lacey's 'art' closed.

Can I just go and do my job now please? I have a Kommissariate to run, stains to get out, people to kill... And I still haven't got my sardines... You promised me sardines...

Respectfully,
Sister Massively Opiated - Official Party Necroproxy Preservationist
Kommissar of Housekeeping, Disappearances, Composting, Dissection and Limo Service
"We Sweep Dead People"
 

Thank you SMO for your answers!
Remember.....power is knowledge ...or something like that....as long as your teleprompter works.

On to more serious stuff.

I DENOUNCE COMRADE RED STAR FOR BEING ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL!

Even as you read this, Jabba the Rush has unleashed rainbow farting unicorns from their corrals and stables.
The unicorns have gone surfing while Obama goes unprotected in the world of international diplomacy.
How Jabba the Rush was able to breech Red Star's watchful herding needs to be investigated!
SMO, please alert the pod and see if you & the pod can roundup these surfing unicorns and get them back into "-O" stable.
Red Star better have a good excuse or there might be a purge.

Here's proof!


 

Laika, you know I am herdsman of domestic Rainbow Farting Unicorns, Please take notice that all the people that Jabba the Rush has unleashed his Rainbow Farting Unicorns are "European" or "Asian" I have been attempting to move in to that arena unfortunately, they have a very strong and closed union.

But thank you for the denouncement, I am very flattered.

If you would like I could send some "Contractors" (goons that can not be traced back to me) to start some trouble. Or perhaps (For a price ) I could get PugslyRed Rooster, to take some Highly trained Census takers and ............."what ever you want"


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality ä INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith
 

Comrade Commissar Red Star,

I believe Comrade Commissar Laika called on the services of the Pod as the unicorns were in water, and as we are usually charged with armed incursions, political assassinations and disappearances, but as the unicorns seem close to shore and there seems no need to have a special Limo sent out for them, I'll have the Pod stand down. We are more used to killing than corralling, so herd away! I'm sure Comrade Commissar Laika will let me know if the situation should require the skills of the Pod and Aki is still a little worked up so it's probably best to keep him away from live ammo for a while...

Congratulations on your denouncement. I was just on my way to speak to Red, Laika and Otis concerning some issues related to Guardian or Pravda and Pup, who seems to have taken on the inappropriate title of Czar as well as having left the Sex Trade Workers' Union Logo off his posts...

Hasta Luego,
SMO
 

Sister! Thanks for reminding me about something I'd been meaning to do a long time ago. I just made all the comrades' names above their posts clickable links. Once you click on it, it opens a URL that links directly to that post. That makes linking to particular posts on the Cube a snap.

 

Kewl!

What don't I win?

SMO

PS... is that my whip?
 

Y'know...

This whole Lacey thing just reminded me of that old Botero thread in the Current Truth... remember that whole debate?
 

Red Star

If you would like I could send some "Contractors" to start some trouble. Or perhaps (For a price ) I could get PugslyRed Rooster, to take some Highly trained Census takers and ............."what ever you want"


Ah, gettin all that on ah brother are ya? Well don't make me swing back n pop a cap in yo ass!
Why all y'all gotta be hatein' all the time... shoooooooo.....


 

A reader JW sent us this relevant artistic item with this quote:

Quote:

Remember Serrano's P--ss Chr_st from 1987



The party will recommend comrade JW for an instant NEA grant.
 

http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewt ... 1149#61149

TPC should create and sell a Toilet Target Obama. More fun and less disgusting than keeping a jar of urine around.


Clickable links to posts. I like it. Now I'll make you commies eat your words!
 

Red Square

A reader JW dent us this relevant artistic item with this quote:


Yes he did DENT it! Yes We Can!
 

Red Rooster

Red Square

A reader JW dent us this relevant artistic item with this quote:


Yes he did DENT it! Yes We Can!
The quote by Red Square has now been revised better to reflect the Current Truth. And because no other memory of this exists outside of the Cubical database, that means it was always spelled as "a reader JW sent us."
 

Someone else had an inspiration.


 

In keeping with the topic of our Messiah and dolphins.. I have a little update on our heroic leader.. Oooh does it make my fur tingle..

In yet another miracle, Obama enlists, in a very touching speech, the help of the dolphins to combat the surge of Somali Pirates which resulted in an overwhelming success.

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2009-04/14/content_11184581.htm
 

Boy howdy was I mislead. I was told the Party wanted to kill the sex drive of all the Peoples. Too bad they got to me too soon.

(off)
My eyes! Oh gosh they burn!
 

Yes, commissar Elliott. These paintings should quite effectively cause all who gaze upon it to immediately take a vow of chastity, unless, of course, they are democrats. Democrats would, perhaps even be.... well... I won't go there, but you get the picture. Also, in wake of these paintings, it may be appropriate to change the democratic logo to a unicorn or dolphin, or, perhaps, a unidolphin/dolphicorn.

P.S. I must apologize for my long absence from the glorious cube of the people. I was occupied under the employment of Commissar Blogunov, who assigned me several undercover missions involving correction of certain errors in the glorious history of the people's republic. Unfortunately, I can reveal no further information concerning these missions, but am eagerly awaiting the day where I will be promoted beyond lackey/peon agent status.
 

Comrades...
I must tell you some of the truth behind these pictures. These posters of our dear Leader and his spouse were not the first versions painted. The first version drawn of our dear leader had him sitting on the head of the Unicorn and the horn was ...um........not visible. He had a smile of his face. This was supposed to endure him to the homosexual community and to let them know that he was really one of them and that the rumors were true. Afterall..they had done so much for his campaign in the past that he wanted to show his appreciation.
As for Comrade Michelle....she was with a male dolphin and he was riding her. Both of them were smiling. SHe was under the dolphin and this showed her love of wildlife and solidified their position with the animal rights people and the 'greenies'. She really loves dolphins....really.
Yes Comrades Obama and Michelle are true world socialist and they prove it by loving.....really loving...wildlife. The only thing that kept these first pictures from being shown was the fact that Axelrod saw them and destroyed them. HE said the American proletariat was not ready for them. He said we socialist must take smaller steps toward socialism. Perhaps he was right. Dear Chairman obama was upset but he got over it.
 

My Name Is Top Secret

Yes, commissar Elliott. These paintings should quite effectively cause all who gaze upon it to immediately take a vow of chastity, unless, of course, they are democrats. Democrats would, perhaps even be.... well... I won't go there, but you get the picture. Also, in wake of these paintings, it may be appropriate to change the democratic logo to a unicorn or dolphin, or, perhaps, a unidolphin/dolphicorn.

(off)
I was thinking of an ostrich with its head in the sand, but that's just me.
 

Comrades! Glorious news! There are MORE pictures in this series! Molotov, He of the Progressive Cocktail be praised!



and because we are all open minded progs on The Cube, here is the uncensored version of "The Final Battle"



and a variant thereof


More Homo-erotic Obama!




Because Obama, with a pancake makes sense somehow.



As does Palin... no butter for her though

 

"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Such a prog thing to say. And since Lacey is not taking a political stance attacking the Rethuglicans and since his views are not as instantly obvious as a cat turd on a Persian carpet, he must be denounced and destroyed.
 

Nice pictures, I really like Obama on the unicorn. Now I got really interested in more stuff from Dan Lacey. Have to look some stuff up on the internet.
 

Onicorn - The Obama Unicorn

 

I've just thought of one. Getting all hot and moist about Obama:

Obanism.
 

Found online:

 

My dear student in sin...Obama...is clearing room at the oppressive Gitmo for his winter home. His sturdy wife will pull sugar cane wagon with much gusto.