Obama's Keys To The Car Speech

Great presidents make great speeches. Kennedy had his Ask Not speech, Lincoln's The Gettysburg Address, and there's FDR's unforgettable Infamy speech. Obama is the greatest of them all, and clearly his Keys To The Car metaphor will soon became his greatest speech. We must give it time to mature, though, because this speech is still under development.

He used it a few weeks ago as a simple driving a car metaphor, "Republicans had been driving the car for eight years. It went into the ditch. And now that Democrats have dug the car out., the Republicans want back the keys."

Last week he expanded the ditty with a new line about Republicans sipping Slurpees as they watched Democrats dig out the car - a brilliantly presidential move. Then a few days later he added mud, bugs, and boots. With the president in campaign mode until November, "Keys To The Car" is expected to grow into a two-hour-long routine with many quotable one-liners, destined to go down in history.

With this in mind I started thinking about Hollywood and the Obama-inspired films they'll surely be making for years to come. And since car flicks have been a mainstay for Hollywood as well, the two genres may subsequently merge into one. I have some movie re-make ideas for them to consider.

Above is Grand Prix, only this time it will be spelled correctly.

Death Race 2000 set in the year 2010.
~

The Fast and the Furious with a slight tweak.


The greatest car flick of all-time Bullitt, will became Bullshitt.
 

[OFF]

(Snort) Hahaha! Hey Obama (smirk) ya know what else is funny? When you're stuck in a ditch and you can't go forward and you need to get towed out...ya know what ya set the gear selector on?....N....for November. Get it? Hahahaha!
 

Of course, Papa Obama never mentions that he drove the "car" over the cliff

Which is why they can't have the keys back
 

I can't think of the appropriate movie right now, but I have an excellent soundtrack, titled "Highway Star."

Who would've thought that buying Deep Purple tapes on the black market as a Soviet teenager in the 1970s would pay off in the 2010 America?

Listen to it imagining that the car is America and the highway star is Obama the prez.






Makes me want to drop everything I'm doing and make a YouTube video, starting with Obama's speech about the car keys - and then moving on to this soundtrack with closed captioning and various images of Obama in cars mixed with images of car wrecks that illustrate the point.

Nobody gonna take my car, I'm gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car, it's gonna break the speed of sound

Ooh it's a killing machine, it's got everything
Like a driving power big fat tyres, and everything

I love it and I need it, I bleed it
Yeah, it's a wild hurricane
Alright, hold tight, I'm a highway star




Nobody gonna take my head, I got speed inside my brain
Nobody gonna steal my head, now that I'm on the road again

Ooh I'm in Heaven again, I got everything
Like a moving ground, an open road, and everything

I love it and I need it, I seed it
Eight cylinders all mine
Alright, hold on tight, I'm a highway star



 

I believe this is Dear Leader's MLK moment.

"I have the Keys"
 

We're gonna need some state popcorn vouchers and cholesterol credits....

So many chances to see the elite be elite!
 

Red Square

I have an excellent soundtrack, titled "Highway Star." Track 2 could be The Beatles, Drive My Car.
Barry You Can Drive My Car... thats all I got. I need a pro like Groucho Marxist to finish it.
 

The only Beatles song that comes to mind when I think of Obama is Helter Skelter.
 

I accidentally stumbled upon this picture on Flicker this morning. It had our poster on it, but no credit or URL. It fits this thread, though.



 

I fear it will be the Autumn of our discontent.
 

I wonder if he'd be harping so much on Republicans driving into a ditch if Ted Kennedy were still alive?
 

Commissarka Pinkie

I wonder if he'd be harping so much on Republicans driving into a ditch if Ted Kennedy were still alive?

Most Esteemed Commisarka Pinkie!

Our now environmentally friendly and room temperature dirt-napping comrade Teddy always preferred a wrong turn on a bridge to just simply a ditch!

Our Dear Leader does not like to swim, and therefore prefers the ditch.......
 

Superkommissar Maksim

Red Square

I have an excellent soundtrack, titled "Highway Star." Track 2 could be The Beatles, Drive My Car.
Barry You Can Drive My Car... thats all I got. I need a pro like Groucho Marxist to finish it. I've been looking.... thanks Gears are turning....
 

How about one of Christine. Call it Soetoro.
 

Barry You Can't Drive This Car





Said he could fix the economy
He's driving it, He's got keys
He's says that he's the One, Smiling on TVs
But action is something we aint seen

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far.
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

He told us that his programs were good
Keynesian, it was understood
Working we were doing just fine
But now we're standing in the soup lines

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far.
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

It's a heap'm heap heap yeah

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far..
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

He told Nancy we can start right away
When she said listen Barry I got something to say
We got nothing and I'm losing my seat
But it's time you started feeling the heat

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far.
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah


Thanks to Superkommissar Maksim for inspiration.
 

Excellent work Groucho! heap heap HA!
 

Rikalonius

How about one of Christine. Call it Soetoro.Given 25% of Amerikans think O is mooslim this might be more appropriate.

.
 

I have spent the last 17 hours watching these fine films! The butter on my shirt and the popcorn kernels in me teeth are proof!

Spoiler Alert for all films: Everyone wins! There are no losers!



 

Anyone like to go for a ride?



 

I find it disturbing that Dear Leader used a "car" as a metaphor instead of a party-approved tractor. And shouldn't the Republican Capitalists be sipping vodka while leaning on their shovels instead of Americanski "Slurpees"?
 

Leninka

Anyone like to go for a ride?

ObamaCastroDrivingMercedes.jpg

Leninka, I'm torn by your depiction. Shouldn't Fidel be driving the Exalted One?
 

This is the problem with creating the perfect utopia. It's never good enough for everyone. How on earth are we ever going to achieve a perfect society where everyone is free to shirk one's responsibilities equally? Oh, wait a minute, I forgot about Jiffi-Lobo. That'll do it.
 

That cocky punk, our president, thinks people don't see what actually happened. Using the punk's car analogy what happened was the American people were happily driving down the street when we came to a detour sign and someone dressed like a cop motioned us to turn left onto the detour. Something seemed odd about the cop and it didn't seem like there was any reason there was a detour because the road ahead was quite obviously clear but we dutifully turned off the road for the detour. After driving a little way we noticed that the cop was behind in his car following us. Up ahead we saw a roadblock and so we slowed and in some confusion came to a stop. Just then a bunch of thugs that were hiding in the brush by the side of the road surrounded our car and the cop car parked behind us so that we couldn't turn around and escape. The detour was a robbery set-up. And we realized that we were going to be robbed and the cop was no cop - in fact nothing was what it seemed. We hoped that we would live through the hold-up and these crooks would spare us our lives.

That's the correct car analogy.

And you cocky punk president Obama - they're our keys, not yours. We'll get them back. What we want even more than the keys to our own car that you stole is your stupid cocky ass taken to justice and gone.
 

I see we're in fine form today Comrade Halliburton.

Comrade Buffoon,

Maybe Dear Leader thinks he's a better driver than Fidel, and this time, he'll get it right.
 

[OFF]

In Chuck's novel 'Rant', there's a group of people who do "party crashing". Kind of like car chasing for sports.

We gotta do something like that. Tea party crashing - The culture of angry white men

Oh, and:
"Give me the Keys (And I'll Drive You Crazy)" --- "Give Me the Keys (And I'll Drive it Off a Cliff)".
 

Red Square

A priceless picture of the Grand Prix.

Listening to the Dead today inspired me...



Truckin' got my chips cashed in. Keep truckin', like the doo-dah man
Together, more or less in line, just keep truckin' on.

Arrows of neon and flashing marquees out on Main Street.
Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street.
Your typical city involved in a typical daydream
Hang it up and see what next Tuesday brings.

Dallas, got a soft machine; Houston, too close to New Orleans;
New York, got the ways and means; but just won't let you be,

Most of the cats that you meet on the street speak of true love,
Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home.
One of these days they know they gotta get goin'
Out of the door and down on the street all alone.

Truckin', like the do-dah man. Once told me "You've got to play your hand"
Sometimes the cards ain't worth a damn, if you don't lay'em down,

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.

What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same
Livin' on reds, vitamin C, and cocaine,
All a friend can say is "Ain't it a shame?"

Truckin', up to Buffalo. Been thinkin', you got to mellow slow
Takes time, you pick a place to go, and just keep truckin' on.

Sittin' and starin' out of the hotel window.
Got a tip they're gonna kick the door in again
I'd like to get some sleep before I travel,
But if you got a warrant, I guess you're gonna come in.

Busted, down on Bourbon Street, Set up, like a bowlin' pin.
Knocked down, it get's to wearin' thin. They just won't let you be

You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like to travel;
Get tired of travelin' and you want to settle down.
I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin',
Get out of the door and light out and look all around.

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me, What a long, strange trip it's been.

Truckin', I'm a goin' home. Whoa whoa baby, back where I belong,
Back home, sit down and patch my bones, and get back truckin' on.
 

Papa Obama may need a "training seat"



 

Or the training wheels...


 

"Fear not" sayeth Obama, "We won't let them take the keys back."




--KOOK
 

What we suspected all along....
 

Thanks for that little piece of surreality, Comrade Groucho. "There's an Obama Sticker on the bumper of the car. We did that." Well, I'll be. I had no idea Dear Leader had an Obama sticker on the car. Surely, that will keep the car going in the left direction.
 

Comrade Whoopie

The only Beatles song that comes to mind when I think of Obama is Helter Skelter.


I'm a loser...and I'm not what I appear to be
I'm a loser and the election's lost, that's clear to me.

What have I done to deserve such a fate?
I realize I am toast and not great
And so it's true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all.
 

I'm so sick of hearing this moron with the swollen head
(he looks like one of those wierd zombies from Left for Dead)
I'd rather he go and sit on a tack
But they'd probably raise a tax for that.
 

Barry you can't drive this car
You broke it and won't get very far
Prepare for some feathers and tar
And we want the keys back

Bleep bleep you're bleeping nag!

(Red Square in Houston, TX)
I'm done. You can pick up from here.
 

Comradskis,

Let us not defart from beetle songs without a nod of the babushka to another song.

The tune is nameaded "Let it Be" But it may not be totally acceptable to Deer Leader.Only those Comrades who aspire to the greatness of Red Square could do new words.
 

Only the government can decide what should let be and what should not let be. This is way above Sir Paul's pay grade.
 

Thank you great, Comrade Red Square,

Comrade Kleenton had trouble with what the definition of is is. Now we are havingsk problems with what "it" is. the fault must lie in choice of languages.

Making money is all they think about. Capitalist Scum!
 

[quote="Groucho Marxist"]

[b]Barry You Can't Drive This Car[/b]

Said he could fix the economy
He's driving it, He's got keys
He's says that he's the One, Smiling on TVs
But action is something we aint seen

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far.
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

He told us that his programs were good
Keynesian, it was understood
Working we were doing just fine
But now we're standing in the soup lines

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far.
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

It's a heap'm heap heap yeah

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far..
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

He told Nancy we can start right away
When she said listen Barry I got something to say
We got nothing and I'm losing my seat
But it's time you started feeling the heat

Barry you can't start this car
No it won't go very far.
Barry you can't start this car
It's stuck in the ditch

It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah
It's a heap'm heap heap yeah

Thanks to Superkommissar Maksim for inspiration.

[/quote]
 

Sorry komerade Karl Marx...
I thought I was adding a quote to your wonderful rendition from the Beatles. Iwanted to add that it was very entertaining and clever...but it just recopied the song under my name.....that was an accident. You get the glory for such artistry...not I.

Also..I must say that dear leader obama could not handle the keys to Canary Islands....much less the USA>
 

Leader make Hope & Change ™ , change shoes, change speeds, change gears,
(A)
"I mean, think about it, these are the folks who were behind the steering wheel and drove the car into the ditch. So we've had to put on our galoshes, we went down there in the mud, we've been pushing, we've been shoving. They've been standing back, watching, saying, 'You're not moving fast enough, you ain't doing it right. (Laughter.) Why are you doing it that way? You got some mud on the car.' Right? (Applause.)
"That's all right. We don't need help. We're just going to keep on pushing. We push, we push. The thing is slipping a little bit, but we stay with it. Finally -- finally -- we get this car out of the ditch, where we're just right there on the blacktop. We're about to start driving forward again. They say, 'Hold on, we want the keys back.' (Laughter and applause.) You can't have the keys back -- you don't know how to drive. (Laughter and applause.) You don't know how to drive.
"And I do want to point out, when you get in your car, when you go forward, what do you do? You put it in 'D.' When you want to go back, what do you do? (Laughter.) You put it in 'R.' We won't do want to go into reverse back in the ditch. We want to go forwards. We got to put it in 'D.' (Applause.) Can't have the keys back." (Laughter.)
(B)
change insurance claim$, change maintenance, change seating arrangement, change living arrangements of those tapping regime and those forgetting(Applause.)(Laughter.) when directed.

Finally we got this car up on level ground. And, yes, it's a little beat up. It needs to go to the body shop. It's got some dents; it needs a tune-up(Laughter.)But it's pointing in the right direction. And now we've got the Republicans tapping us on the shoulder, saying, we want the keys back.(Applause.)

You can't have the keys back. You don't know how to drive. You can ride with us if you want, but you got to sit in the backseat. We're going to put middle-class America in the front seat. We're looking out for them.(Applause.)