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Obama's Sermon on the Mile High Mount

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<table width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr> <td width="270" class="genmed"><img src="/images/Obama_Mount_Mile_High.jpg" width="250" height="267" border="0"> <td valign="top"><p><font size="4" class="Huge"><b>The Book of Invesco</b></font><br> <span class="lnavnew"><b>The Sermon on the Mile High Mount<br> </b></span><sup>1</sup>Then it came to pass in the Land of Entitlement that the Word became Change and the Change became Hope and the Hope became Change You Can Believe In. <sup>2</sup>And The Obamessisah went about all fifty-seven states, teaching at their Caucuses and Primaries, healing malaise among the poor in spirit, and preaching the gospel of Progress. <sup>3</sup>Then His fame went throughout all the land; and they came to Him all people who were afflicted with Bush Derangement; and those who were hopenitized; moonbats and troofers; and He wooed them. <sup>4</sup>Great multitudes followed Him - from Chicago to Jersey, and beyond the Hills of Beverly.<br></p></table> ~<br> <table width="577" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr> <td valign="top"><p><sup>5</sup>And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain and stepped into the floodlights where they had built for Him a temple, and His disciples gathered around Him. Then He opened His mouth and taught them, saying:<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>6</sup>"Blessed are the poor,<br> For theirs is the kingdom of State expropriated wealth.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>7</sup>Blessed are the jobless,<br> For the taxpayers shall be their keepers.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>8</sup>Blessed are those who lost their homes,<br> For they shall inherit a bailout.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>9</sup>Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for Change™,<br> For they shall be filled with a great taxpayer-funded feast.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>10</sup>Blessed are all who have grievances,<br> For they shall be compensated through civil rights lawsuits.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>11</sup>Blessed are the peace protesters,<br> For theirs is the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>12</sup>Blessed are those one illness away from disaster,<br> For they shall obtain free health care.<br> <img src="/images/spacer.gif" width="40" height="1"><sup>13</sup>Blessed are our homosexual brothers and sisters,<br> For they shall be married and receive Intensive Family Preservation programs and Family Reunification privileges from the immigration authorities.<br></p> <table width="314" border="0" align="right" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr> <td width="20" class="genmed"> <td width="294" class="brown"><img src="/images/Obama_Jesus_Matthews_Olberm.jpg" width="294" height="395" border="0"> Obamessiah with Matthews and Olbermann<br> <hr></table> <p><sup>14</sup>"Blessed are you when Republicans revile and persecute you falsely for My sake. <sup>15</sup>Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for people love me, so when you follow me, the world will love you, also.<br><br> <sup>16</sup>"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, it is then good for nothing but to be thrown under the bus.<br><br> <sup>17</sup>"Do not think that I came to shrink the size of government. <sup>18</sup>For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one dot above an 'i' will by no means pass from the law or government till all of my audacious dreams are fulfilled. And then I will build more.<br><br> <sup>19</sup>"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'We are responsible for ourselves,' but we in truth rise or fall as a collective; the fundamental belief that I am my brother's keeper - unless he lives in a hut in Kenya.<br></p> <p><sup>20</sup>"And I say to you that whoever goes to war or tortures another without a progressive cause, shall be in danger of the judgment by the rest of the world. And whoever says to another the word 'unilaterally' shall be in danger of the judgment by the UN council.</p> <p><sup>21</sup>Therefore if you bring international aid to the altar of appeasement, and there remember that those nations' rulers are against you, <sup>22</sup>leave your aid there and go away. <sup>23</sup>Agree with your adversary quickly, without preconditions, lest your adversary accuses you of crimes against everything and deliver you to the judges of The Hague.<br><br> <sup>24</sup>"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' <sup>25</sup>But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart, so go right ahead, just make sure to get the media to cover it up for you.</p> <p><sup><img src="/images/Obama_Jesus.jpg" width="290" height="259" vspace="4" border="0" align="right">26</sup>If your right eye causes you to sin, invite the left one to join in; for if it looks good, it can't be wrong. <sup>27</sup>And if your right hand causes you to sin, make sure to have enough for the left hand; for if it feels good, it can't be wrong.<br><br> <sup>28</sup>"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' <sup>29</sup>But I tell you not to break the peace unless you can pin it on Republicans. But whoever else in the world slaps you on your cheek, pander to him with largesse. <sup>30</sup>If anyone wants to sue you and have your money, let him have your country also.<br><br> <sup>31</sup>"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' <sup>32</sup>But I say to you, hate your rich neighbors and love the government officials who redistribute their wealth. <sup>33</sup>And love your country's enemies too, for the enemy of Amerika is your friend; bless those who curse it, do good to those who hate it, and agree with those who spitefully use it and attack it, <sup>34</sup>that you may be the progressive children of The Obamessiah; for He makes the sea levels fall and sends rain and hurricanes on the conventions of the unjust.</p> <p><sup>35</sup>For if you love those who love you not, you get to wail and lament. Did not the Screen Actors Guild do so? <sup>36</sup>And if you snivel loudly enough, you will be rewarded. Was not the Screen Actors Guild rewarded so? <sup>37</sup>Therefore you shall be perfect, just as The Obamessiah is perfect.<br><br> <sup>38</sup>"And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrite bitter clingers. For they love to pray standing on the corners of the streets, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Assuredly, I say to you, when you pray, go into your local government office, and pray to your Messiah who is in the White House; and The Obamessiah will reward you openly.<br><br> <sup>39</sup>"Therefore do not be like them. For The Obamessiah knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. <sup>40</sup>In this manner, therefore, pray:<br></p> <blockquote> <p>Our Player, Barack the Messiah,<br> Washington be thy game.<br> Thy welfare come,<br> Grabbeth all thy guns<br> So we will think that we're all in heaven.<br> Taxeth away our daily bread,<br> And giveth to those identity groups who trespass against work.<br> Make us not a prosperous nation,<br> For all wealth is evil,<br> And thine is the shakedown with all power and fury.<br> Obamunist forever. Amen.</p> </blockquote><p><sup>41</sup>"Enter by the narrow gate of Obamunism; for wide is the gate and broad is the way of Capitalism that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. <sup>42</sup>Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to Obamunism, and there are few who find it. <sup>43</sup>For if you take from each according to his ability, The Obamessiah shall give to each according to his needs.<br><br> <sup>44</sup>"Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on land purchased at a discount from a friend.<br><br> <sup>45</sup>"But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who sat on his hands when the rain descended, the floods came, and drowned New Orleans."<br><br> <sup>46</sup>And so it was, when The Obamessisah had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His teaching, <sup>47</sup>for He taught them as one having authority, and not as one offering more of the same.</p> <div align="center"> <p><img src="https://thepeoplescube.com/red/richedit ... c7620a.jpg" border="0"></p> </div> <p><b><i>Additional reporting by Commissar Maksim, Laika the Space Dog, Red Square, and others.</i></b></p></table>

Finally, the Gospel of Barack! Let it be told in all the land and let it be written into the skool books of the Children™. May the Obama bless you!!

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This is the Truth and The Way...

But I seem to remember that in the Conference of Denver, the Bishops of The Reformed Church of Latter-Day Climatologists decided that in the Gnostic version of the Book of Invesco, certain passages were to the purged that mentioned a harlot and a golden jackass, much like The Conference of Nicea that in 325 AD removed the other Gnostic gospels. This was wise for the Gormons because it made a stonger foundation for a religious theology.
Still it is hard to imagine the inner struggle our comrades sacrificed for in that Year 47 Juche Obama before they went on to the final battle and defeated the evil McKKKain and the Palinazi.

Here is a lost passage recently discovered by Party archaeologists in the rubble of a Chappaqua NY basement. It seemed to have lined the bottom of a birdcage. Now for the first time after two thousand years of successful Obamunism it has seen the light of day again and the party scholars can debate it's real merit and worth.
Who was this Harlot and why were there 18 million of her followers? Surely they must have known she was not The Light or The Way. Yet this leads us to believe that all was not perfect in the Party birth pangs.
How can that be?
Time seems to have erased her memory yet it is still fascinating to see how the early Obamunists lived in the young history of the most successful religious society the world has ever known:

2. It was during this year that out of the wilderness came Joseph the Plagiarist to proclaim that he was not the Obamessiah and that the One who would Plagiarize the best would vanquish the Harlot Hillary, and so this too came to pass in the primaries, but not by much, as 18 million followed the Many Titted Empress yet failed to build a golden jackass unto her image.


Laika,
Reporting back from a space/time continuum
2047 JO

The future is so bright you're going to need shades.

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Can we get that in the King James Version? I can't see the table of Obama's Supper. Is there arugala there?

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Holy hope for a change of my progressive pinko panties, I believe I've tingled down my leg!

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Sorry Muzhelozhstvo, it only comes in the Martin Luther King James Brown Version.

Historians have marveled at this purged passage that happened 2 years later than Invesco was thought to have been written:

5. Blessed are the appeasemakers, for they should inherit the reigns of government, just like 1938 and 1939, and with some HopenChange, again in 2009.

Apparently, before civilization used the Juche Obama calendar, there was a great war in Year 49 Juche Obama (2010 CE) that almost wiped out the planet and the Party deemed it was best to forget.
Looking back, historians can see why the Party elders chose that path because it is blashphemy not to believe that there has only been peace since the time of the Obamessiah's reign.

Laika,
Reporting back from a space/time continuum
2047 JO

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Laika, would you like to lead us in a happy, comforting song in honor of the Obamessiah? We can be just like the hypocrite bitter clingers sitting around the campfire at church camp. Only more progressive.

Someone grab the guitar...


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Oh goody, a sing-a-long! I'll grab my comb and a piece of tissue--after all, it's not as if I have any other use for them, do I?

And will we get to scare each other later on with gruesome ghost Bush stories?

We can roast beets, too. Oh, and that reminds me, Comrade Kalashnikov . . .
Image You have been selected for Pinkie's Presitigious Beet of the Week Award!

In lieu of the usual cash award, a donation has been made in your name to Barry's Kids, which allows underprivileged children (but I repeat myself) to spend the rest of their summer vacation at Camp Obama, where there'll be parties, sleepovers, drawing and coloring pictures of the Obamessiah, letter writing, and classes on how to make parents vote for the Obamessiah and which grownups kids should tell if the parents don't.

Plus they'll get to sit around the campfire roasting beets while Laika leads them in fun, Progressive sing-a-longs. All activities are wholesome and Obama-centered, that your child may grow up in the joyful righteousness lefteousness of Our Lord and Savior the Obamessiah!

Also, as Beet of the Week you should also get use of a special Beet of the Week parking space at Party Headquarters during your reign, but Marshal Pupovich still has his vehicle parked there, and of course he's sitting out the storm at one of his brother-in-law's seven dachas, so who knows when it'll be available again. But if not for that, it'd be yours.

Now don't you feel blessed by the Lord Obama? I do! Oh, Praise the Obamessiah, O Glory Hallobama! I believe!

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Laika the Space Dog wrote:Sorry Muzhelozhstvo, it only comes in the Martin Luther King James Brown Version.


Awesome! I'm laughing so hard, I dropped my shovel.


BTW, where's Looting Louie? Coulda sworn I spotted him on the evening news from Daytona Beach a few weeks ago. Surely he's in NOLA or Houma by now.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:...Now don't you feel blessed by the Lord Obama? I do! Oh, Praise the Obamessiah, O Glory Hallobama! I believe!
Verily, we are all blessed by the Obamessiah, for we know not what we do. And the Party likes it that way.

P.S.: Yay! Beets!

Cliff Andropov
20 "And I say to you that whoever goes to war or tortures another without a progressive cause, shall be in danger of the judgment by the rest of the world. And whoever says to another the word 'unilaterally' shall be in danger of the judgment by the UN council."

Yea Verily yea.

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OK, Let's sing a happy, comforting song (why I haven't thought of it sooner...) to share the joy. No need for Karaoke. Every socialist knows this tune.

Oh-bah-ma's my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Oh-bah-ma's my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Oh-bah-ma's my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
My Lord
Oh-bah-ma.

Feel free to add verses Comrades....It will be added to the hymnal.
In fact it's mandatory, and The Party™ is putting you on the spot....No verse, no beets to roast around progressive campfire.
C'mon, you can add a verse....

Someone's wealthy, my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's wealthy, my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's wealthy, my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's wealthy, my Lord
Ex-pro-priate
Oh-bah-ma

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Image

Commissarka, I have often wondered, in between meditations on the Obamessiah's greatness, whether the slogan "I'm a beet of the week at the peoples cube," along with the artwork, might not someday be available on a bumper sticker for the masses?

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Thanks, duhflushtech, in my excitement over beholding the Obamessiah, I neglected to mention that Comrade Kalashnikov's mother will be receiving her very own bumper sticker that says, "My Child is Beet of the Week at The People's Cube."

For the rest of us, there's "My Kid Had Your Beet of the Week Kid Purged."

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Someone's working my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's working my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's working my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Please tax them
Oh-bah-ma

Why am I the only one singing?
Are we shy Comrades?
Did you notice those machine guns squads you marched past on the way to the big progressive campfire?
Do I need to remind you why they are posted there?
START SINGING!

Cliff Andropov
Someone's not Hoping my Lord
Oh-Bah-ma
Someone's not Changing my Lord
Oh-Bah-ma
Someone's not Hoping and Changing my Lord
Oh-Bah-ma
Send them to Leavenworth Lord
Oh-Bah-ma

O-mazing Grace how sweet the sound, that didn't save a wretch like Bush.
I once was lost, but Rev'rend Wright has found, guilty white people need a kick in the Tush.

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Someone's pregnant, my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's pregnant, my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's pregnant, my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's pregnant, my Lord
A-bort it
Oh-bah-ma

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Someone said "Wright", my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone said "Ayers", my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone said "Rezko", my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Someone's investigating my Lord
Sue them
Oh-bah-ma

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My leg's tingling, Lord,
Oh-bah-ma
My leg's tingling, Lord,
Oh-bah-ma
My leg's tingling, Lord,
Oh-bah-ma
Pass the gym sock,
Oh-bah-ma

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Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Barack,
He has energized all voters to include the Clinton bloc,
Come November He will lead us once we clean the right wing's clock,
His hope is marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
His hope is marching on!

I have heard him speak just like a fiery soaring orator!
He sends tingles up my leg and makes me faint flat to the floor!
He has told me I'm the very one that I've been waiting for!
His change is marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
His change is marching on!

They did build Him a great temple made of columns from the Greek,
Thousands made the pilgrimage to Denver just to hear Him speak,
So many hippies gathered made Invesco Field reek,
His campaign marches on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
His campaign marches on!

I have clicked my mouse upon the site that's titled “Fight the Smears.”
I have read it many times that I might ease my needless fears,
For I know now 'tis the right wing pouring venom in my ears,
Come November they'll be gone!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
The right will soon be gone!

He will cure our ills by introducing socialized health care,
He will tax the rich until they're poor because that's only fair,
His running mate's a prominent big mouth from Delaware,
Obama's marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama,
Glory, glory, Hallobama,
Obama marches on!


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Pinkie, you left out a verse (this one is usually sung as a soprano/alto duet, then back to SATB on the chorus)

In the beauty of the lilies He was born across the sea
And He spent his early childhood on the shores of Waikiki
Then he went to Indonesia where he studied faithfully
His faith is marching on!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Barack,
He has energized all voters to include the Clinton bloc,
Come November He will lead us once we clean the right wing's clock,
His hope is marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!

Comrade Sister, Commissarka Pinkie,

I am overwhelmed... here, as you know, I said earlier that I would not be logging on when I got back to the dormitories this evening, but someone had sent me something that I wanted to share and so I found myself unable to stanch my curiosity... I knew Kalashnikov's piece would be genius, by dear Comrade Sister Pinkie... I am in awe..... I find myself so overtaken with enthusiasm that I may need to sneak into AmeriKKKa this very evening in order to set up a fraudulent citizenship and then register for voting... you would think this would be something this Kanadistanjian had already done, given that I am responsible for necroproxy preservation and registration, but I have been so busy working on behalf of our dead but voting comrades that I have never seen fit to take care of this detail... what an exciting autumn it will be... not only will there be an elektion in Kanadistan, but I will also be voting in AmeriKKKa for the first time...

HOW CAN I NOT??? Your words move me so.... I am crying dolphin tears... Thank you comrade... thank you so very much for your inspiration...

getting out the camo as I type... stupid dolphin wetsuit!... sorry... it is worth the effort...
SMO

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I'm only human--
I'm just a crook.
Help me believe in what I believe
and all that I am.
Show me the suckers
that I have to rob,
Lord, for my sake,
teach me to take,
One shakedown At A time.

One shakedown at a time, sweet Obama,
that's all I'm asking of you.
Teach me today, to do all the things
that Jesse had to do.
Yesterdays gone, Sweet Obama,
and tomorrow may never be mine.
Lord, for my sake,
teach me to take,
One shakedown At A time.

Do you remember,
when you walked among men?
Well, Lord you know, if you're looking below,
It's better now than then.
There's cheating and stealing--
violence and crime.
So for my sake -
teach me to take
One shakedown At A time.

Dennis M Mccullough
Impeach! Evict!

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Dennis M Mccullough wrote:Impeach! Evict!
Inspired comment, my good man!! I see you also have been taken by the splendor that is The Obamessisah.

BELIEVE

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Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Obama means change...

Once I sought for succor
I sucked both night and day
I asked the Dems for mercy
To increase my daily pay-AY!

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Obama means change...

He brought with Him forgiveness
He lives to show the way
He came that Kos and Koppel
Might fill their pants with whey-HEY!

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Obama means change...

He made me a watchman
In bright downtown Saint Paul
And when the looting started
I heard his braying call-ALL!

Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills and everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
That Obama means change...

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Some ones smoking my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Some ones smoking my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Some ones smoking my Lord
Oh-bah-ma
Get over it honkie!
It was white man's greed in a world of need that created my addiction to nicotine!
That's right!
All my ancestors slaved on the Big Tobacco plantations and from picking all those tobacco leaves it became infused in my blood through DNA!

What? I don't have any slave blood?
They owned and sold?

Words! Just words!

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I overheard Obama singing this (apologies to the Hollies' 'He Ain't Heavy').

He's Just Biden

It's a long, long road
from here to celebrity,
and you know I've tried,
and lied, just to get by.
But I know---
this airhead shares my des-tiny...
He ain't heavy, he's just Biden.

So on he goes,
his mouth never stops to breathe,
His gaffes will echo who knows where,
I don't care
Cause' I know
he would never up-stage me,
He ain't heavy, he's just Biden.

If I'm laggin'
the polls,
Then I'm laggin' 'cause of Palin,
That prissy little bitch
says she'll paint my wagon
with change - come this November.

It's a long, long road
to manifest destiny,
yes I am The One
for change, hope and change.
But he's still talking,
babbling 'bout his pets back home...
He ain't heavy,
he's just Biden.

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A forum of Hillary supporters called Pumaparty.com linked to this thread and they are laughing their asses off:

A Hillary supporter wrote: A conservative website indeed, but this is funny as funny gets!

- https://pumaparty.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2644

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Welcome to the Collective, PUMAs! We have a big tent that welcomes all species!

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A Hillary supporter wrote: A conservative website indeed, but this is funny as funny gets!

This is a CONSERVATIVE website???? Oh, crap. No wonder the peaceful protesters were throwing cement bags at my bus.

Just kidding.... hope and change, y'all!

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The 23rd Psalm for the 44th President... (a numbers game)

Barack is my Shepherd... I shall not bleat,
He maketh me lay down my green earnings,
He leadeth me into the polling booth,
He proclaims my equality
Though He leadeth me in paths of righteous progress for His name' sake

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of debt,
I will fear no taxes, for thou speak for me;
Thy flock and thy staff write them for you....
Thou preparest to pull back before times in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou filleth my head with Shinola; My bank draft runneth over.

Surely health care and food stamps shall care for me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the Nation of Barack forever.

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General Mousey-Tongue wrote:Welcome to the Collective, PUMAs! We have a big tent that welcomes all species!
PUMAs don't eat dolphins... do they?

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This speech is the very passage that moved my to accept the Obamessiah as my personal savior.

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My Name Is Top Secret wrote:This speech is the very passage that moved my to accept the Obamessiah as my personal savior.
That's good, TS. I think we should all share the story of how first we came to see the glory and the grace of the Obamessiah.

For me, it was when I dropped a quarter and it rolled into the sewer drain. It was then that I realized the great plan of the One.

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And... as the holidays approach, it's carolling time!!!!!

Good King Barack Obama

Barack Obama went out
One November Tuesday.
All the polls had full turnouts,
Sheeple voting his way.
Brightly shone his teeth that night;
Smiling at his success
When a poor man came in sight,
Gath'ring dumpster excess.

"Hither, bum, now stand by me
If thou know'st what's good.
Yonder peasant, who is he?
Where dwell you and find food?"
"I live o'er a heat grate hence,
'neath a cardboard box,
He's flops with the local fence,
Jonesing for his next crack rocks... "

"Bring them meat and bring them wine,
Hurry aid, don't dither.
They'll live on the public's dime,
Though public's purse shall wither."
Barack and his aid went forth,
With media in tow,
Sure of this cov'rage's worth,
Watch'd his numbers grow.

Barack took a goodly sniff,
Their smell was rubbing off.
Even his aid caught a whiff,
It's bouquet made his cough.
"Mark my footsteps, my good aid,
Tread behind me quickly,
I think that my point's been made,
So why should we get sickly."

In Obama's steps his aid,
Made good his escape.
"I think that went well," he said,
"We've got it on tape."
Barack smiled that much wider,
Feeling magnanimous.
"This election's in the bag,
It's unanimous..."

One extra verse is required
To finish my story,
Obama went on to win
His election glory.
My deep condolences good friends,
I'm so very sorry,
'bout livelihood, health care and more,
You'll now have to worry...

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Who let the GAWDDAMN PUMAS IN?

I'm sorry....I...I ummmm...I was feeling..was feeling a lttle self-Wrighteous.
I'll just calm down...phew...I got faint.

Well that reminds me of an ancient Kenyan proverb my grandma told me...no, not the cracker, the other one:

Show me a crafty Puma and I will give you an old cougar with camel toes.

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Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:
My Name Is Top Secret wrote:This speech is the very passage that moved my to accept the Obamessiah as my personal savior.
That's good, TS. I think we should all share the story of how first we came to see the glory and the grace of the Obamessiah.

For me, it was when I dropped a quarter and it rolled into the sewer drain. It was then that I realized the great plan of the One.

For me, it was when Michelle took time out from her high-paying do-nothing job to say that she was never proud of her country until it made her empty-suit of a husband into a viable candidate for its president. And I thought, "Yeah, screw you people. Why should I bother working for stuff when it's the government's job to hand it to me." Hope and Change!

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For me, it was when he described the ephiphany voters would have, with a light shining down upon him, telling them they need to cast their vote for Obama and be free. I sat there stunned, and left the remainder of my tuna & arugula souffle untouched while I pondered the serene pomposity of the Annointed One.

We all received confirmation that he is a higher life form when he modestly added 7 states to the US (I always thought there should be 57, just like the number of varieties of delicious Heinz products - just check their label if you don't believe me.)

The slam-dunk was when he transcended current geopolitical analysis with his profound statement..."Israel has always been friends...with, uh, Israel..."
The media hounds are wagging their tails and rubbing up against his leg. He MUST be special, everyone says so...including him!

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General Mousey-Tongue wrote:For me, it was when he described the ephiphany voters would have, with a light shining down upon him, telling them they need to cast their vote for Obama and be free...


Mikhail T. Kalashnikov wrote:
General Mousey-Tongue wrote:For me, it was when he described the ephiphany voters would have, with a light shining down upon him, telling them they need to cast their vote for Obama and be free...


I hope the visiting PUMAs see this video, and are inspired that he is the true messiah. IT'S PARTY UNITY!!! WE HAVE TO STOP MCSAME!!! PALIN IS INEXPERIENCED!!! SHE CAN'T HANDLE BEING VP AND HAVE A DOWN SYNDROME CHILD!!! HOPE AND CHANGE!!! YES WE CAN!!!

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I came to the light when Obama showed me the green.

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My epiphany came when The Mime™ crapped a tumor in a public restroom in Janesville, Wisconsin and was healed by the grace of Obama and a $10K deductible.

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For me it was when I realized how racist and bigoted I was for having opinions that differed from those of Lord Obama's. I realize now the foolishness of my errant ways, and thank BHO for my salvation...

Mole
When he picked Biden, who voted agaisnt the Alaska Pipeline in the Senate in 1973, I realized that he picked the man who tried to stand in the way of getting 25% of US oil production to market. Imagine how much less dependent on foreign oil we will be with these geniuses. It bOggles the mind, nO?

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Mole wrote:When he picked Biden, who voted agaisnt the Alaska Pipeline in the Senate in 1973, I realized that he picked the man who tried to stand in the way of getting 25% of US oil production to market. Imagine how much less dependent on foreign oil we will be with these geniuses. It bOggles the mind, nO?

Karacter OFF

As someone who lives just north of Delaware's border with Pennsylvania, I can tell you that Biden is usually regarded as someone who can only be described using a sequence of ASCII characters... Example: "that $#%& ostentatious, loud-mouthed, career politician, good for nothing son-of-a- #$&*¥!"

Karacter ON

Curses! I believe I have just outed myself as a <i><b>Bitterclinger</b></i>!

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I guess I am a typical leftist progressive, no dramatic conversion story. I have been for Obama the Great ever since I angrily switched my allegiance from that old traitor Santa Claus.

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The Obamessiah Hath Speaketh of the Adultress:

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For me it was when I saw Big O body surfing in his People's Banana Hamock.

Not that I'm gay I just Hope for Change...um...uh..not that I think anything is wrong with...uhhhhh...that's above my pay grade.

Don't Gulag me Bro!!!!!!

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Platform #6, Comrade... Trotsky? Hmm... Platform #4 may be more appropriate. Yes, there will be no need for you to bring warm clothing or a shovel where you're going.

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This story was picked up today and reprinted (with our permission) by Right Side News.
<br>Image

Right on, Kalashnikov! Keep the Cube rolling!

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Platform #6, Comrade... Trotsky? Hmm... Platform #4 may be more appropriate. Yes, there will be no need for you to bring warm clothing or a shovel where you're going.

Woo Hoo! Gitmo!

Permit me to hitch a ride. I would like to check on Comrade Fidel and report back to the Inner Circle™. That way I will not have to use any of the $7USD Billion that I <s>stole</s> liberated from the coffers of Exxon/Mobil.

--

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Barack,
He has energized all voters to include the Clinton bloc,
Come November He will lead us once we clean the right wing's clock,
His hope is marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
His hope is marching on!

I have heard him speak just like a fiery soaring orator!
He sends tingles up my leg and makes me faint flat to the floor!
He has told me I'm the very one that I've been waiting for!
His change is marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
His change is marching on!

They did build Him a great temple made of columns from the Greek,
Thousands made the pilgrimage to Denver just to hear Him speak,
So many hippies gathered made Invesco Field reek,
His campaign marches on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
His campaign marches on!

I have clicked my mouse upon the site that's titled “Fight the Smears.”
I have read it many times that I might ease my needless fears,
For I know now 'tis the right wing pouring venom in my ears,
Come November they'll be gone!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama!
The right will soon be gone!

He will cure our ills by introducing socialized health care,
He will tax the rich until they're poor because that's only fair,
His running mate's a prominent big mouth from Delaware,
Obama's marching on!

Glory, glory, Hallobama!
Glory, glory, Hallobama,
Glory, glory, Hallobama,
Obama marches on!

The beauty of your contribution to the collective is rivaled only by the majestic volunteer spirit of those who dug the White Sea Canal.

You should receive the Order of Lenin!

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Bread Line wrote:
You should receive the Order of Lenin!


No! The Order of Hillary.

--



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So I saw this glimpse into our future if Obama wins:



<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/wxrWz9XVvls&h ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

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This was an amazing speech!

The People's News Source, aka MSLSD, sent me to cover this historic event. Like Comrade Kris Matthews, I too have a thrill going up my leg!

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This was an amazing speech!

The People's News Source, aka MSLSD, sent me to cover this historic event. Like Comrade Kris Matthews, I too have a thrill going up my leg!

The thrill is so exhilerating, it has travelled to every part of my body, and now I tremble with excitement as though I had Parkinsons. This is an ailment I gladly accept to be part of Obamessiah's kingdom.

Son of a Bullshetvick
The Vision

The HOPE that was CHANGE

He saw a CHANGE so tall and straight,
It almost reached to the gates of Invesco,
He had HOPE, he was very LIBERAL with that tall CHANGE,
He became the CHANGE, and the CHANGE became him,
A fire was burning the CONSERVATIVES all around,
It burned to their roots, those not HOPING for CHANGE,
The fire did not burn the LIBERALS of HOPE,
As he was the HOPE and the HOPE was CHANGE.
Obamassiah looks upon the LIBERALS you see,
And he saw the SOCIALISTS take more and more.
The Conservatives all burried in their scandalous excess, the
Obamassiah took the HOPE that was CHANGE,
And planted it by the House of White.
He is the Obamassiah, and the HOPE of LIBERALS is in CHANGE!
He and the CHANGE are SOCIALISTS you see,
would you like CONSERVATIVES to be your neighbors?
A CHANGE, planted with HOPE by the House of White!
Come to the Obamassiah of HOPE and CHANGE dear CONSERVATIVES,
The Obamassiah will force CHANGE on you;
And we HOPE we can force more CONSERVATIVES to CHANGE,
And be like us!


Sorry to Pearline Wagner!!!

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In accepting the Obamessiah into my heart, asking Him to take over my life and offering Him all I have, I first had to come to the agonizing realization that all the marches, rallies, protests, sit-ins, lie-ins, die-ins and pee-ins in which I've participated have failed to accomplish anything in the past five years.

It's as if I never marched with a million other freedom-loving, peace-loving freedom lovers and peace lovers, year after year, against Bush's illegal, immoral war for blood; as if I never copied and pasted post after post making the case for his impeachment and prosecution for his crimes against everything; as if I never perched on the ledge to raise awareness, or bared my boobs to arouse in others a burning passion for the issues at hand; as if I never did anything to show the world how much I care.

I was so dejected, that I even stopped wearing my “Impeach Bush & Cheney” T-shirt—you know, the one that shows them behind bars with the words, “I Have a Dream”? After wearing it every day for a thousand days, I finally gave up and tossed it into the corner. To my astonishment, the odor emanating from it like a gas seemed to fuel it and cause it to sprout legs and walk about of my cardboard box in which I lived.

I followed it and snatched it up, gazing once more at the faded words, “I Have a Dream.” Only I had no dream anymore. Everything had become a nightmare. I was in despair over all Bush has done to destroy the planet and civilization and forever more. Even now he is orchestrating the final solution to annihilate the entire human race and all living things, even the weeds in the fields and the organisms and amoebas in the petri dishes, after which he and his Rovian minions will rule for all eternity over those who do not see the Light and the Goodness and the Hope and the Change that is the Obamessiah.

As I buried my face in the stinky shirt and cried, my fresh tears mingling with my old dried out sweat and lingering redolence of patchouli, I decided there was nothing left to do but accept the Obamessiah as my Lord and Savior.

Won't you join me, and accept Him, too?
Glory, glory GlorObama! Let us lift our arms, raise our voices, open our wallets wide, and praise Him forevermore!

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Very touching, Pinkie. This monologue truly deserves a place of its own. BTW, was it you whose picture I snapped in Denver this August during the DNC protests? The moment I saw this inspired, selfless, and dedicated woman I wanted to ask her if she ever posted on the People's Cube as Pinkie - but she must have been very shy and vanished in a blink of an eye. This picture is the only proof left that she was not a figment of my imagination affected by sun, dehydration, high altitude, and certain smoke coming out of the crowd.

Image
(The pink sticker on her chest says "Make out not war." The "P" in the red triangle stands for "political prisoner" worn by many at that rally.)

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Have you been watching the Repuglican Convention?!!! They're chanting "USA, USA, USA!" Ugh! Spit! Why can't they chant "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BAMA" like REAL Americans?!

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Have you been watching the Repuglican Convention?!!! They're chanting "USA, USA, USA!" Ugh! Spit! Why can't they chant "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BAMA" like REAL Americans?!
I know, it's nauseating to listen to them chanting like that, praise Barack, why can they not also chant things like "Hope and Change, Hope and Change. . ." or "Commie States! Commie States"?

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My efforts to infiltrate the evil 'Straight Talk Express' came to an unhappy end:

Image
Call me a scaredy-cat. Call me General Tso's Chicken. Call me anything you want, I am not letting some smelly fascist German Shepherd kill or maim my perfect cute, furry body. I...am...defeated. But it did not need to turn out this way.

Marshall Pupovich is in some undisclosed location knocking back the People's vodka and smoking fine cigars...perhaps he could get off the couch and get the hell down here, and perhaps do some actual work. This is only time he could actually be useful, and he's down on the Bayou improvising on Pup's Pleasure Palace! It's HIS fault...no, it's Bush's fault, but he let Bush do it!

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Toss him a sirloin steak and sneak quietly past him.

--

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Toss the steak at whom...the guard, or the dog?

I tried the old cat-chase ploy, and that sucker is a lot faster than he looks! The drug-sniffing lout grabbed my catnip (it was only an ounce, so they had to let me go).

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THAT is one nasty looking dog. If Marshal Pupovich was there, he could make a comrade out of the shepard. Actually, it wouldn't work, since you are right General, he's a facist. Why not try cammo, or since you're a general, why not send a small batallion after it?

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That might give away my presence, eh, Comrade Elliott.

I do appreciate the support though.

My extraction team is partying with the media downtown, and are not answering my distress calls. Anybody in central Pennsylvania that can spare a few bucks for bus fare to Altoona, I would be most appreciative...

"Oh where oh where has that puppy gone, oh where could our fat Marshall be..."

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General Mousey-Tongue wrote:My efforts to infiltrate the evil 'Straight Talk Express' came to an unhappy end:

Image
Call me a scaredy-cat. Call me General Tso's Chicken. Call me anything you want, I am not letting some smelly fascist German Shepherd kill or maim my perfect cute, furry body. I...am...defeated. But it did not need to turn out this way.

Marshall Pupovich is in some undisclosed location knocking back the People's vodka and smoking fine cigars...perhaps he could get off the couch and get the hell down here, and perhaps do some actual work. This is only time he could actually be useful, and he's down on the Bayou improvising on Pup's Pleasure Palace! It's HIS fault...no, it's Bush's fault, but he let Bush do it!

What a great looking puppy!

Image

Here's one attacking a Code Pink operative!

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Red Square wrote:Very touching, Pinkie. This monologue truly deserves a place of its own. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]BTW, was it you whose picture I snapped in Denver this August during the DNC protests?[/HIGHLIGHT] The moment I saw this inspired, selfless, and dedicated woman I wanted to ask her if she ever posted on the People's Cube as Pinkie - but she must have been very shy and vanished in a blink of an eye. This picture is the only proof left that she was not a figment of my imagination affected by sun, dehydration, high altitude, and certain smoke coming out of the crowd.

Image
(The pink sticker on her chest says "Make out not war." The "P" in the red triangle stands for "political prisoner" worn by many at that rally.)

oh Red you are SOOOOOOOO in trouble!

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Private Pravda wrote:
General Mousey-Tongue wrote:My efforts to infiltrate the evil 'Straight Talk Express' came to an unhappy end:

Image
Call me a scaredy-cat. Call me General Tso's Chicken. Call me anything you want, I am not letting some smelly fascist German Shepherd kill or maim my perfect cute, furry body. I...am...defeated. But it did not need to turn out this way.

Marshall Pupovich is in some undisclosed location knocking back the People's vodka and smoking fine cigars...perhaps he could get off the couch and get the hell down here, and perhaps do some actual work. This is only time he could actually be useful, and he's down on the Bayou improvising on Pup's Pleasure Palace! It's HIS fault...no, it's Bush's fault, but he let Bush do it!

What a great looking puppy!

Image

Here's one attacking a Code Pink operative!
Here's just more proof Germans, at least their dogs, are facists.

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It seems that word of the Obamessiah's Sermon on the Mile-High Mount has spread throughout the Rockies, east and west and all the way to the Badlands. This story is being posted at the top conservative site in South Dakota, Dakota Voice.


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Private Pravda wrote:
Red Square wrote:Very touching, Pinkie. This monologue truly deserves a place of its own. [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]BTW, was it you whose picture I snapped in Denver this August during the DNC protests?[/HIGHLIGHT] The moment I saw this inspired, selfless, and dedicated woman I wanted to ask her if she ever posted on the People's Cube as Pinkie - but she must have been very shy and vanished in a blink of an eye. This picture is the only proof left that she was not a figment of my imagination affected by sun, dehydration, high altitude, and certain smoke coming out of the crowd.

Image
(The pink sticker on her chest says "Make out not war." The "P" in the red triangle stands for "political prisoner" worn by many at that rally.)

oh Red you are SOOOOOOOO in trouble!

Actually, Red Square might be the only one here who can get away with--as the French might say--lese Commissarka.

There is a line, of course, and he'll know (and rue it) once he crosses it.

Only what is she wearing below the waist? Are those maternity pants, parachute pants, clown pants?

They're definitely not Pinkie pants.

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Look like a cast of tablecloth. Surely a member of the working class.

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Image Can't you see comrades that this is a peasant who has strayed from her assigned collective and is taking an unauthorized day of rest. If it were possible I would denouce her to the Party as a traitor to the glorious revolution. Alas, being the fool that I am I have no such authority and risk denouncing myself in the process. Another twenty years of buliding railroads in Siberia would be too much for such an old and feeble man. I depend upon you, my comrades, to do what is right and see to it that this betrayer of our great leader is dealt with harshly, for the sake of The Greater Good™, and toward our ultimate goal of a glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

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That's a tablecloth she's wearing? Seriously, Comrades: Would you want to eat off of that?


 
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