October Revolution: This Time We Can Make It Work!

NOVEMBER 7 is the glorious 95th anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution in Russia, celebrated by the masses of the world with spontaneous marching in goose-stepping columns as they share their rations of potatoes and beet vodka.

It is symbolic that on this day American workers, peasants, and the toiling unwashed intelligentsia also celebrate the re-election of their first openly socialist president, hoping he will soon abolish the capitalist oppression of gainful employment and replace it with equal rations of beets and potatoes.

We salute the entitled voting masses who stormed the polling places to bring the revolution to America. They stood on the shoulders of the martyrs of Benghazi and Bush-engineered terrorist attacks, victims of the right-wing media smear machine, as well as Luddites, Harmonites, Hippies, Black Panthers, Weather Underground, Cloward and Piven, progressive media, and all those who worked tirelessly on taking the few remaining working factories away from the greedy stockholders and giving them to the selfless Labor Unions.

This time, I'm sure, we can make it work!


On this day in 1917 the downtrodden masses in Russia also shaped their history and at a single stroke abolished the rule of capital, private property, markets, supply and demand, thermodynamics, gravity, and other laws governing the unfair and reactionary Universe. Unfortunately, the envisioned fundamental transformation failed to come about in a single isolated country, because the rest of the world continued to be ruled by the bourgeois classes who deploy reactionary laws of economics, physics, chemistry, and biology to oppress the suffering populations. Their malicious enforcement of the second law of thermodynamics resulted in an untimely entropy of the isolated socialist system.

In addition, the United States and its capitalist allies continuously sent spies, saboteurs, and subversive agents to tamper with the happy dictatorship of the proletariat. The sheer volume of these spies was such that the People's KGB didn't have time to catch and interrogate them all. Eventually, the hard-working Commissars found themselves saving the Workers' Paradise by summarily shooting all suspects in the head and sending about 20 million of them to hard labor camps. Trying to catch up with the overwhelming enemy infiltration, the KGB expanded its domestic and foreign intelligence operations to gloriously unparalleled proportions. That didn't help either, as it also became infiltrated by enemies who were eventually shot in the head or sent to their death in hard labor camps.


But now, as the world is being taken over by socialist parties and the last bulwark of capitalism, the United States, has fallen into the hands of the People's World Government, the entropy of isolation is not going to happen. The entropy itself is going to be outlawed globally, in the process of gradual revision and sequestration of all unfair laws that previously oppressed the struggling masses.

The Party welcomes your comments and suggestions on the following issues:

• How better to improve the lives of the downtrodden by changing the rules of living
• How to deal with the recalcitrant enemies of the people and where to find them
• Desired features and options for a new genetically engineered human being who would be fit to live in the Glorious New World of This Tuesday (the program to be financed by the next stimulus package)

FORWARD, COMRADES!
 

Doctor Utopia

Quote:

How better to improve the lives of the downtrodden by changing the rules of living

First, we must adopt a new calendar system. All days of the week should be Tuesday.

Come to think of it, every year should be Tuesday and every month should be Tuesday as well.

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.

There will be no monopoly on days. Every day is equal! This will help the masses by keeping the glorious revolution fresh and alive in their minds and save the revolution quite a bit of money on ink.
 

Red Square

How to deal with the recalcitrant enemies of the people and where to find them

Oh, me, me, me, me, me. Please, please, please, pick me. I know where to find them. They're the people who work for a living. The ones who think they're entitled to keep the bulk of the efforts of their labor. The ones who resist being absorbed into the collectivist hive. The ones who haven't been properly "socialized."
 

Your time is over!


 

THE INFILTRATION OF THE U.S. GOVERNMENT
By Cliff Kincaid
November 7, 2012
NewsWithViews.com

At the recent “Pumpkin Papers Irregulars Dinner" in Washington, D.C., author and commentator M. Stanton Evans joked about his “Law of Inadequate Paranoia,” which says, “No matter how bad you think something is, when you look into it, it is always worse.”

http://www.newswithviews.com/Kincaid/cliff662.htm
 

•How better to improve the lives of the downtrodden by changing the rules of living

Comrades, this is simple. First we shout revolutionary slogans from the window of our apartment. I suggest as a warm up some charming quotes from Hitler's Mein Kampf. As Comrade Adolph once said, “All propaganda has to be popular and has to adapt to the perception of the least intelligent of those whom it intends to direct itself.” Thus it only makes sense to use Barbara Streisand lyrics in our fiery rhetoric. This behavior will further enable the masses to believe that anything is possible under the guise of Dear Leader's care for all peoples and mammals. Once we have drawn large crowd's similar to the "One's" near filling of the first row in movie theaters during his tireless campaigning, we then subtley begin our collective effort to transform the lives of the evil 53% by parroting Maher'isms until they submit to the utopia which Dear Leader promises. After a few mindless hours, those who surround us will have been transformed from hypocrite, liar, and capital terrorist, to everyone is now equal, no owners, no rich, and no poor. Oh how changing the rules of living through artistic purpose brings a single tear to one eye.
 

Surprisingly enough, The Washington Times wanted this story published with them, so now it's there:

October Revolution in America: this time we can make it work!
 

Red Square

Desired features and options for a new genetically engineered human being who would be fit to live in the Glorious New World of This Tuesday (the program to be financed by the next stimulus package)
Put thumb on outside of hand at end of right arm, so all hands become left. Remove eyes and implant direct Propaganda Receptors for efficient mind feedings. Fuse bones in toes and build up heel tissue, so all feet become boots for stomping evil Kapitalist Amerikkka. Remove heart and replace with efficient Socialist steam turbine. Both sets of gentialia for all New Mans, so all people can be equally sexed on. Remove brain - is needless in Glorious New World of This Tuesday.
 

Red Square

Your time is over!


"My administration is the only thing between you and the Mosin-Nagants!"
 

We can do this comrade muddefuckas!!!! let's take this one!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!




I'm really into exclamation points now!!!!! Thanks Commisarka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Comrade Dr. U - This Tuesday/Tuesday/Tuesday thing is stupid carries with it additional benefits. Gone are the distractions of kapitolists holidays such as 4th of July, confusing thoughts such as 'spirit of 1776", and TGIF. The recalcitrant enemies of the people will be disarmed and disoriented by the new simplicity. Bravo! I'll see you next Tuesday!
 

Sorry I haven't been able to respond much lately. I've been so busy filling orders for rope there hasn't been much time. I wonder why there's been such an increase in demand?

Oh well, time is money. Gotta run - another order just came in, and it's a big one.



P.S. - Here's another mystery: Does anyone know why there's been such an astronomical increase in the demand for Vaseline lately? I can't explain it.
 

Faireandbalantsed

You pepole make me sick. All the Americans that foght 4 ur write to even have internet. Its discusting that u pepole think that soshalism and comunistic is an ackseptibl form of self expereshin. My lord Jesus Christ weeps for u. Obama stoled the election from the conserfatives and now will giv are contrey up to the UN blue helmits and u pepole suportt comunistic and soshalism. The Negroid in the witte house is not my presidint. U pepole are discusting. Didnt we vankwish the Comunistts in the veitnom war?
Dude, look up "sarcasm" in a local dictionary. Then read the bio of Oleg Atbashian, founder of this website. Sheesh. Get a grip (and lrn 2 spll)
 

Sorry, Comrade Dude.
 

Faireandbalantsed

You pepole make me sick. All the Americans that foght 4 ur write to even have internet. Its discusting that u pepole think that soshalism and comunistic is an ackseptibl form of self expereshin. My lord Jesus Christ weeps for u. Obama stoled the election from the conserfatives and now will giv are contrey up to the UN blue helmits and u pepole suportt comunistic and soshalism. The Negroid in the witte house is not my presidint. U pepole are discusting. Didnt we vankwish the Comunistts in the veitnom war?

Eye theenc ewe hafe mistondurstuud watt wee arr aal abowt. Whee mayk funn ovv comnumizm and ssoshalizm heer buy lampouning itt. Whee eckspoze thu follie ov thu lefft threw hewmor annd parrotty. Butt eye theenk ewe awlreddy nnowe thaat becawse ewe smel lyke a trolle hoo delbrately mispelz wurds andd seze stoopid shitt inn hopps thatt whee wud agrei wythe ewe.
 

TheLastCapitalist

Faireandbalantsed

You pepole make me sick. All the Americans that foght 4 ur write to even have internet. Its discusting that u pepole think that soshalism and comunistic is an ackseptibl form of self expereshin. My lord Jesus Christ weeps for u. Obama stoled the election from the conserfatives and now will giv are contrey up to the UN blue helmits and u pepole suportt comunistic and soshalism. The Negroid in the witte house is not my presidint. U pepole are discusting. Didnt we vankwish the Comunistts in the veitnom war?

Eye theenc ewe hafe mistondurstuud watt wee arr aal abowt. Whee mayk funn ovv comnumizm and ssoshalizm heer buy lampouning itt. Whee eckspoze thu follie ov thu lefft threw hewmor annd parrotty. Butt eye theenk ewe awlreddy nnowe thaat becawse ewe smel lyke a trolle hoo delbrately mispelz wurds andd seze stoopid shitt inn hopps thatt whee wud agrei wythe ewe.
And wee bbringed aboot thuh Glorreeous Reevolooshun of nex Teusdai.
 

Ahhh, public education on parade...
 

Publik edu-ma-K-shun meenz mour yoonion wurkerz. 4WERD¡
 

Yo, SDB !

Dat b' " eja-muck-a-shun ".

Dats wat'da skool giv'ya.
 

Faireandbalantsed

You pepole make me sick. All the Americans that foght 4 ur write to even have internet. Its discusting that u pepole think that soshalism and comunistic is an ackseptibl form of self expereshin. My lord Jesus Christ weeps for u. Obama stoled the election from the conserfatives and now will giv are contrey up to the UN blue helmits and u pepole suportt comunistic and soshalism. The Negroid in the witte house is not my presidint. U pepole are discusting. Didnt we vankwish the Comunistts in the veitnom war?

Good Comrade make funny! Now this is comedy comrades.. take note!

Who is hoarding the pickled beets?
 

Taxemoples

... we might foresee a true New Man emerge through selective breeding and advances in socialist genetics.

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You mean like Salvador Dali?

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Or comrade CHE™?

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John Scott Cobb 1913:

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Or courtesy of The Insanity Report: