Pascal's Global Warming Wager: Amen and Hallelujah!


*Thanks Red Square for the 25% credit I receive from each transaction. Needless to say I am putting it to good use.
I am also proud to say that my voluntary reduction of 10% in eating beans has shown a substantial decrease in greenhouse gases.


Red Square
Based on Laika's idea earlier in this thread -
Do Party members get frequent flyer miles for using it? Like, for long flights down to Bali to discuss the latest crises in Global Warming?
Do you know me? Most people don't recognize me without my red headscarf, shovel, or the smell of vodka on my breath. But no matter where I go, whether it's to the daily breadlines or even the Gulag, I always carry my CCCP card. Every time I use it, I feel good about myself, because I know it means I care about the Planet.
Caring and awareness: Priceless.
For everything else, there's the CCCP card. (And Chinese businessmen.)
Let's fly to Bali!






Why, I even partake of their cuisine--Chipped Beets on Toast, which I believe is also aptly referred to as "Sh*t on a Shingle."
But I'll be glad to get back to Party headquarters, where I can enjoy a nice breakfast of omelets made from the Faberge eggs
Speaking of which, Commissar Theocritus, which should I wear--diamonds or pearls?


Or have you forgotten the damage done to Mother Earth by these gold mines and the exploited masses in the mines or forced to dive for your precious pearls and fouling the water?




Ivan Betinov
Commissar Pup, diamonds and pearls are absolute neccesities for an up and coming young Commissarka like our dear Pinkie.Great Stalin's Ghost! Comrade! I was merely trying to have her put her diamonds and pearls in a safe place so er... some common thief can't steal them. (As opposed to a not so common thief.... Dagnab it! Try and get me a "contribution" and some brain comes along and spoils it!)


Quote:
Thank you! We are donating $1 per day to Global Green USA for each person that searches for a "green" item.. Learn moreI clicked on the "Learn more" only to see this:
Quote:
Global Green addresses three of the greatest challenges facing humanity today: stemming climate change through the greening of buildings and cities, eliminating weapons of mass destruction, and providing clean, safe drinking water for the 2.4 billion people who lack access to clean water.I thought there were no WMDs! Is that not the Great Lie (or one of the countless Great Lies) of the evil Bush Administration?!!?
Anyway, Pupovich, Green Jewelry is not for me. My descamisados love to see me hanging off the back end of train cabooses with diamonds and pearls festooned all over me!
Now here are some samples of bling suitable for the masses:
http://www.visionarydance.com/junktojewels.html
Ta ta! I'm off to tango with Che Guevara! Don't cry for me, Amerika!


But you have given me an idea. The pearl, being organic, is by definition renewable. The Japanese have for centuries cultured them with seeds to grow pearls in specific shapes. Why do we not merely appropriate the oyster beds in Galveston Bay and culture pearls in the shape of the hammer-and-sickle? Now it might be painful for the mollusk, but then, it's a lowly form of life, although in green terms it is higher than a Republican.
And speaking of cultured gems, why do we not see if we can culture kidney and bladder stones in appropriate shapes in Trust Fund babies?
What about Republican baby topiaries? We can bind the limbs of Republican children as the Chinese did the feet of their women. It's true that they might not walk that well, but then we wouldn't have to worry about them getting away, would we?
And as a gift to Red, we could bind the head of a Republican baby to be a cube. How cool is that?


While Pinkie is out like Commissar Theoctitus after a night at the ranch with Nancy, Bruno, and the Hildo, the rest of you should enjoy this tidbit taken from the site Pinkie suggested,,, a real progressive grandmother...
GRANDMOTHER'S BACK
Grandmother's back being bent to the ground
By the oppressor man pressing down down down
Grandmother's back, see what we're doing
Grandmother's back, creating a ruin
Grandmother's back hear what I say now
Grandmother's back be changing your ways now
Her Body is not a commodity
Not a product to be bought and sold
Not to be mined for oil or gold
Our disposable society, we're living in today
Disposable society going to throw itself away
So wake up! Hear her Call
Wake up one and all!
Doesn't that just make you all homesick?




But Sound and Vision redeemed itself with its fawning description of Oliver Stone's home theater, when it called him a "fearless cultural warrior." And how right. For this man, with all the power and prestige that the Left Coast can award him, able to spread all his


Commissar Theocritus
And as a gift to Red, we could bind the head of a Republican baby to be a cube. How cool is that?Like this?


More here:




Commissar Pupovich
But Pinkie, I don't wish to see your valuable jewels stolen! You know Comrade Dirk is famous for swiping things, even from Party members though he has claimed some repentance, I can keep them safe for you and provide you with some fake jewelry and no one will be the wiser...even you! Trust me! Just look into those deep trust worthy doggie eyes... yes,,,that's it... look deeper... you are getting sleepy....While Pinkie is out like Commissar Theoctitus after a night at the ranch with Nancy, Bruno, and the Hildo, the rest of you should enjoy this tidbit taken from the site Pinkie suggested,,, a real progressive grandmother...
GRANDMOTHER'S BACK
Grandmother's back being bent to the ground
By the oppressor man pressing down down down
Grandmother's back, see what we're doing
Grandmother's back, creating a ruin
Grandmother's back hear what I say now
Grandmother's back be changing your ways now
Her Body is not a commodity
Not a product to be bought and sold
Not to be mined for oil or gold
Our disposable society, we're living in today
Disposable society going to throw itself away
So wake up! Hear her Call
Wake up one and all!
Doesn't that just make you all homesick?
Speaking of Progressive Grandmothers--or at least someone they say could be "anyone's grandmother":
Progressive Granny
And I am by no means asleep, Commissar, so I say again: Keep your paws off the pearls or diamonds which I am keeping safe for Our Empress!





But you say that you have no use for them, and she may... Oh. I get it. Sorry. I'm slow today and off my feed. In the course of my work I had to listen to some people who were obviously telling the truth and it really upset me.



traci
I'm bringing this topic back to the forefront.Comrade Traci, is this some sort of socialist foreplay? If so, I must commend you.



[PROG OFF]
I like this. Very 1980s.
[PROG ON, DUDES]
I don't know. This whole cube head thing reminds me of that terrible, bourgeois Decade of
[/B]Komradka Katrina

Marshal Pupovich
traci
I'm bringing this topic back to the forefront.Comrade Traci, is this some sort of socialist foreplay? If so, I must commend you.
Thank you, high Commanderm Marshall Pupovich,
I must admit, I am aroused by this.


But to be a proper comrade, you would have to be as willing to hit the mat with any of Keith Olbermann, Helen Thomas, or Janeane Gawdawfulo. Or even Jodin Morey, if he quits yapping and peeing on my leather couch.

Commissar Theocritus
traci, you should not be aroused unless you are doing it in the proper state of socialist arousal, with no heed to age, looks, or gender. For example, guessing from the final letter of your name, you may be a comrade who might identify herself/himself/itself as female.But to be a proper comrade, you would have to be as willing to hit the mat with any of Keith Olbermann, Helen Thomas, or Janeane Gawdawfulo. Or even Jodin Morey, if he quits yapping and peeing on my leather couch.
Jodin Morey? I'm hoping by your description, he is a dog....but I have heard of your notorious parties, and also, your house-boy. Is he the one found quivering in a corner when Empress Hillary comes over? If he's the one peeing, it may be he is traumatized. I would be too, at the sight of Hillary's hairy gams.


I love dear Jodin, except of course when I am having to paint the bottom 8" of all the walls to get off the pee smell.
So far I have not been blessed with a visit from the Mikael Rudolph, the Minnesota Moonbat Mime. How I wish he would come to the Rancho. He and Jodin could stand and yap at each other like quivering like lap dogs and I could hear the sweet music of progressive thought. Unfortunately I fear that they'd soil the floor, as they soil every floor that they're on. And everything that they do.
The only problem is that since Our Many Titted Empress used to get drunk on cocktails of rich Rethuglican virgins' blood and Grey Goose Vodka, she'd hop on Bruno's back and ride him like a rented mule, or Nansky Peloski's 757, and whenever Bruno hears that Our MTE is coming he runs and hides among the greasewood and mesquite. The coyotes try to bury him, but that's another story.

Thank you, it would mean alot to me!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= ... ef=profile






Commissar Theocritus
You're very kind although I have been known to make small children burst into tears by merely walking into the room. Women cry and strong men grow pale.Yes, but I think I've seen an apparition of the dead Lenin....and there is very little more frightening than that. It even caused the paint to peel off my walls....either that or it was something gone awry in my bathtub vodka distilling process. Please do not reprt me for that last admission.



Red Rooster
Hrrrmmm... comrades, how does a comrade get away with just being a "traci"!?! Where is the glorious glorification of The Party(TM) in such a name? Not even a simple comrade before this Amerikkkan name... hrrrrrmmm... very suspicious comrades, very suspicious, and to talk ill of The Great Lenin of The People(TM), we are thinking this prole needs re-education at The Wombat Factory.Thank you, Red Rooster. You see, this has been weighing heavily on my mind, as I seek a name that is communist, yet girlie. I love being prolie, but also to keep my gender identity. Is this possible?
And about Lenin (may he rust in peice), I mean not to speak ill against him.


Let's see here, we have the most equal of all equals Commissarka Pinkie, and then there's Sister Massively Opiated, and Lenin -n- Things.... oh yes and of course we are still unsure about the hirstuteness of Leninka, and there's Rosie The Red (who did a fine tour of The Wombat Factory, mind you) now we have the new most equal comrades: Komsomolka Olga Katrina and Casserole Czar. Hrrrrrmmmm....
We are missing.... we are missing...
peoples...
Mary Marussia
Liberty 5-3000
Elena Maximovna
Comrade Sonia
planets...
Gore's Gaiia
Peoples Pluto
Red Venus
animals...
Red Chic (Heh...)
O'Rainbow The Unicorn
Ah-ha... Jenny von Westfalling


Why not become Comrade traci? Or Colonel traci?
Bear in mind you can get what you have the grasp to get. How do you think I got the Rancho del Rio Grande? Earning it?
Pardon. I just wet myself laughing.


I, on the other hand, peck pocket proles I hardly know, that way there is no beaky feelings once they are tared are feathered. Of course the wallets go to the Commissar of Unanimous Caring, because he Cares™ far more than a fowl beaked Rooster could. And he knows just what to do with the money!
I'm just here for Woomba Loomba's and their proper
Because the Glass Ceiling™ never shatters when your Oppressed™!!!


But if traci insists, she could always try this link I stumbled across recently:
http://www.blogthings.com/russiannamegenerator/
Guaranteed to make Red Square's head explode. After running a few tests on it, I've concluded that this is where Neil Simon got the names of his cast members for his play Fools.

Sorry, I'm on my way out the door. Will have to respond more when I get back. I'm thinking of Sister Pretty Dairy Cow....but it's early (for me), and I haven't had my coffee yet. :)


Yes, the Cube has a People's Tractor Beam. I find that I am the most verbose Comrade here, which is no surprise to people who know me.
And Bruno has repeatedly apologized for shoving you into the trash compactor. Bear in mind that we'd just had the Rosie Beast here and if there's anyone who can make him go off his rocker--and it's none too steady a rocker, as you know--it's the Rosie Beast.


An invention worthy of following the great People's Tractor(TM).


It's amazing how a sharp little knife will do all the work of expensive re-education.
When coupled with CNN it's infallible. And after you've had your prefrontal lobes cuisinarted, then you can actually listen to Keith Olbermann and nod your head in agreement. And after I've had a particularly good treatment from Jiffy Lobo, I start having erotic dreams about Janeane Gawdawfulo and the Rosie Beast.


Sister Peoples Diary Cow
Speaking of Peoples Dairy Cows, I suggest you all get your own today!!!








Commissar Theocritus
Why not become Comrade traci? Or Colonel traci?Bear in mind you can get what you have the grasp to get. How do you think I got the Rancho del Rio Grande? Earning it?
Pardon. I just wet myself laughing.
Precisely so and I have often considered "The People's Superior", which I so justly deserve. But my humility has prevented me from adopting it.



Commissar Theocritus
Olga Katrina, here we have a mechanism for these impure thoughts: Jiffy Lobo.It's amazing how a sharp little knife will do all the work of expensive re-education.
When coupled with CNN it's infallible. And after you've had your prefrontal lobes cuisinarted, then you can actually listen to Keith Olbermann and nod your head in agreement. And after I've had a particularly good treatment from Jiffy Lobo, I start having erotic dreams about Janeane Gawdawfulo and the Rosie Beast.
Great Comrade Commisar Theocritus!
I think to have erotic fulfillment of such dreams with Gawdawfulo and the Beast, you would want to wear a strap-on. Wouldn't dare try using real thing. You would have to have surgery to find, as it would ingrow to escape!

