Pascal's Global Warming Wager: Amen and Hallelujah!

I am proud to announce that we have already made the CCCP card the preferred card at all of the Pup's Party Pleasure Houses and from receipts so far, it is going over big.

*Thanks Red Square for the 25% credit I receive from each transaction. Needless to say I am putting it to good use.

I am also proud to say that my voluntary reduction of 10% in eating beans has shown a substantial decrease in greenhouse gases.
 

Red Square

Based on Laika's idea earlier in this thread -



Do Party members get frequent flyer miles for using it?  Like, for long flights down to Bali to discuss the latest crises in Global Warming?

Do you know me?  Most people don't recognize me without my red headscarf, shovel, or the smell of vodka on my breath.  But no matter where I go, whether it's to the daily breadlines or even the Gulag, I always carry my CCCP card.  Every time I use it, I feel good about myself, because I know it means I care about the Planet.

Caring and awareness:  Priceless.

For everything else, there's the CCCP card.  (And Chinese businessmen.)

Let's fly to Bali!
 

Pinkie, I realize that you pride yourself on being a lowly prole, but since your elevation to Commissarka, you should know that you only have to appear in caring-n-compassion drag when the public might see you. And what's this breadlines bit? Here, in camera, you are accorded the finest French pastries and German breads.
 

I believe she was in her caring drag because she was in a public situation.... a commercial for the proles. One thing... the card sure is ugly,,, red and green just do not mix well, especially fading from one to the other,
 

You have the right of it, Commissar Pupovich.  And when I mingle with the proles in the Southern breadlines, I always make a point of adopting a Southern accent so they'll know I'm not only one of them, but that I care about their pain.  

Why, I even partake of their cuisine--Chipped Beets on Toast, which I believe is also aptly referred to as "Sh*t on a Shingle."

But I'll be glad to get back to Party headquarters, where I can enjoy a nice breakfast of omelets made from the Faberge eggs stolen from donated by Tsar Nicholas that Romanov guy.

Speaking of which, Commissar Theocritus, which should I wear--diamonds or pearls?
 

Diamonds and pearls are so passe.... let me watch over them while you wear some Green Jewelry such as natural, untreated Wyoming Green Jade (Fair Trade Gem) with Fair Trade Sterling Silver beads....

Or have you forgotten the damage done to Mother Earth by these gold mines and the exploited masses in the mines or forced to dive for your precious pearls and fouling the water?
 

Commissar Pup, diamonds and pearls are absolute neccesities for an up and coming young Commissarka like our dear Pinkie.  We of the Party need only curtail their use (for the very valid reasons you advance above) by the proles.  Filthy bastards that they are, they would rape the earth for their vanity; Pinkie, on the other hand, has earned the wearing of gauds through her tireless efforts on behalf of the common good  All glory, gauds and honors to the People (but only the ones who matter).
 

Ivan Betinov

Commissar Pup, diamonds and pearls are absolute neccesities for an up and coming young Commissarka like our dear Pinkie.  

Great Stalin's Ghost! Comrade! I was merely trying to have her put her diamonds and pearls in a safe place so er... some common thief can't steal them. (As opposed to a not so common thief.... Dagnab it! Try and get me a "contribution" and some brain comes along and spoils it!)
 

I spotted this on Pupovich's Green Jewelry link:

Quote:

Thank you! We are donating $1 per day to Global Green USA for each person that searches for a "green" item.. Learn more

I clicked on the "Learn more" only to see this:  

Quote:

Global Green addresses three of the greatest challenges facing humanity today: stemming climate change through the greening of buildings and cities, eliminating weapons of mass destruction, and providing clean, safe drinking water for the 2.4 billion people who lack access to clean water.

I thought there were no WMDs!  Is that not the Great Lie (or one of the countless Great Lies) of the evil Bush Administration?!!?

Anyway, Pupovich, Green Jewelry is not for me.  My descamisados love to see me hanging off the back end of train cabooses with diamonds and pearls festooned all over me!  

Now here are some samples of bling suitable for the masses:  

http://www.visionarydance.com/junktojewels.html

Ta ta!  I'm off to tango with Che Guevara!  Don't cry for me, Amerika!
 

Uh, I don't actually know about diamonds and pearls. In fact I run a rather austere house. It's not quite to my taste but I've learned to live with chrome-plated steel chains and leather. Bruno learned that from Our Many Titted Empress, and you cannot believe her in her Harley drag. Once she turned an entire procession of Hell's Angels up the river road into Chihuahua.

But you have given me an idea. The pearl, being organic, is by definition renewable. The Japanese have for centuries cultured them with seeds to grow pearls in specific shapes. Why do we not merely appropriate the oyster beds in Galveston Bay and culture pearls in the shape of the hammer-and-sickle? Now it might be painful for the mollusk, but then, it's a lowly form of life, although in green terms it is higher than a Republican.

And speaking of cultured gems, why do we not see if we can culture kidney and bladder stones in appropriate shapes in Trust Fund babies?

What about Republican baby topiaries? We can bind the limbs of Republican children as the Chinese did the feet of their women. It's true that they might not walk that well, but then we wouldn't have to worry about them getting away, would we?

And as a gift to Red, we could bind the head of a Republican baby to be a cube. How cool is that?
 

But Pinkie, I don't wish to see your valuable jewels stolen! You know Comrade Dirk is famous for swiping things, even from Party members though he has claimed some repentance, I can keep them safe for you and provide you with some fake jewelry and no one will be the wiser...even you! Trust me! Just look into those deep trust worthy doggie eyes... yes,,,that's it... look deeper... you are getting sleepy....

While Pinkie is out like Commissar Theoctitus after a night at the ranch with Nancy, Bruno, and the Hildo, the rest of you should enjoy this tidbit taken from the site Pinkie suggested,,, a real progressive grandmother...

GRANDMOTHER'S BACK
Grandmother's back being bent to the ground
By the oppressor man pressing down down down
Grandmother's back, see what we're doing
Grandmother's back, creating a ruin
Grandmother's back hear what I say now
Grandmother's back be changing your ways now
Her Body is not a commodity
Not a product to be bought and sold
Not to be mined for oil or gold
Our disposable society, we're living in today
Disposable society going to throw itself away
So wake up! Hear her Call
Wake up one and all!

Doesn't that just make you all homesick?
 

That sounds just like one of those Jim Morrison's psychedelic tunes glorified by Oliver Stone in that very progressive movie of his. "They took a face from the ancient gallery... Father I want to kill you... Mother I want to.... Grandmother's back being bent to the ground... Can't resist.... But her Body is not a commodity.... Not a product to be bought and sold.... Not to be mined for oil or gold... So wake up! Hear her Call ... Adolf Hitler, who should be dead, is still alive, he lives in Miami... This is the end..."
 

Ah. Dear Comrade Oliver Stone. How I love that man, although I do at times wonder if he had a little too much happy dust in the 80s. Something not quite right there. One of the kapitalist magazines which I subscribe to, Sound and Vision, I thought was going to the dogs. They fired all the dear old leftie reviewers who had wonderful sayings like, "You can be a good liberal and not like Helen Reddy." How silly. You can be a good liberal if you hate Bush. That's all it takes. Everything else is optional. And since that man said that in the 70s for Stereo Review, it just shows the prescience of our leftist friends, for the Bushitler was in college then and no one had heard of him. How? Divination, I'm sure. Messages in his alphabet soup from Karl Marx.

But Sound and Vision redeemed itself with its fawning description of Oliver Stone's home theater, when it called him a "fearless cultural warrior." And how right. For this man, with all the power and prestige that the Left Coast can award him, able to spread all his lies Stalin's truths to the world, does this lauded and awarded by left sick mother leftie regardless of the danger to himself. fearlessly going where every tin-foil-hat leftie no man has gone before.
 

Commissar Theocritus

And as a gift to Red, we could bind the head of a Republican baby to be a cube. How cool is that?

Like this?





More here:
 

Now all we need are the services of the people on Miami Ink to complete the transformation. And just think. We here in the party have done one better than the Chinese with their foot-binding. And to think that I never thought it possible, after all, Mao's re-education camps were a progressive height never before even thought attainable.
 

Commissar Pupovich

But Pinkie, I don't wish to see your valuable jewels stolen! You know Comrade Dirk is famous for swiping things, even from Party members though he has claimed some repentance, I can keep them safe for you and provide you with some fake jewelry and no one will be the wiser...even you! Trust me! Just look into those deep trust worthy doggie eyes... yes,,,that's it... look deeper... you are getting sleepy....

While Pinkie is out like Commissar Theoctitus after a night at the ranch with Nancy, Bruno, and the Hildo, the rest of you should enjoy this tidbit taken from the site Pinkie suggested,,, a real progressive grandmother...

GRANDMOTHER'S BACK
Grandmother's back being bent to the ground
By the oppressor man pressing down down down
Grandmother's back, see what we're doing
Grandmother's back, creating a ruin
Grandmother's back hear what I say now
Grandmother's back be changing your ways now
Her Body is not a commodity
Not a product to be bought and sold
Not to be mined for oil or gold
Our disposable society, we're living in today
Disposable society going to throw itself away
So wake up! Hear her Call
Wake up one and all!

Doesn't that just make you all homesick?

Speaking of Progressive Grandmothers--or at least someone they say could be "anyone's grandmother":

Progressive Granny

And I am by no means asleep, Commissar, so I say again:  Keep your paws off the pearls or diamonds which I am keeping safe for Our Empress!
 

Diamonds? Pearls? I ask you Commissarka Pinkie, What Would A Dog Like I Do With Your Precious Jewels?


 

Pupovich, it's not all about you. Well, it is, of course, but then that doesn't mean that you have to use it  the way it was intended. Pinkie clued you in when she explained the code for getting soused on vodka. Now she's telling you that she's keeping an eye on her diamonds and pearls which you say you have no use for but she may be having some recreational fun later on to give you an opportunity. Ask Meow for a master class. I'm busy giving comrade dirk one in wallet lifting, a little technique which I refuse to share with Meow out of professional jealously of course.

But you say that you have no use for them, and she may... Oh. I get it. Sorry. I'm slow today and off my feed. In the course of my work I had to listen to some people who were obviously telling the truth and it really upset me.
 

I'm bringing this topic back to the forefront.
 

traci

I'm bringing this topic back to the forefront.

Comrade Traci, is this some sort of socialist foreplay? If so, I must commend you.
 

[PROG OFF]

I like this. Very 1980s.


[PROG ON, DUDES]

I don't know. This whole cube head thing reminds me of that terrible, bourgeois Decade of Prosperity Excess(TM). Only all-red cubes are truly progressive!![B] [/B]And because that's how I feeeeeeeel about it, in accordance with the Party's guidance of my Feeeeeeeelings(TM), it must be right.[B]

[/B]Komradka Katrina
 

Marshal Pupovich

traci

I'm bringing this topic back to the forefront.

Comrade Traci, is this some sort of socialist foreplay? If so, I must commend you.

Thank you, high Commanderm Marshall Pupovich,

I must admit, I am aroused by this.
 

traci, you should not be aroused unless you are doing it in the proper state of socialist arousal, with no heed to age, looks, or gender. For example, guessing from the final letter of your name, you may be a comrade who might identify herself/himself/itself as female.

But to be a proper comrade, you would have to be as willing to hit the mat with any of Keith Olbermann, Helen Thomas, or Janeane Gawdawfulo. Or even Jodin Morey, if he quits yapping and peeing on my leather couch.
 

Commissar Theocritus

traci, you should not be aroused unless you are doing it in the proper state of socialist arousal, with no heed to age, looks, or gender. For example, guessing from the final letter of your name, you may be a comrade who might identify herself/himself/itself as female.

But to be a proper comrade, you would have to be as willing to hit the mat with any of Keith Olbermann, Helen Thomas, or Janeane Gawdawfulo. Or even Jodin Morey, if he quits yapping and peeing on my leather couch.

Jodin Morey? I'm hoping by your description, he is a dog....but I have heard of your notorious parties, and also, your house-boy. Is he the one found quivering in a corner when Empress Hillary comes over? If he's the one peeing, it may be he is traumatized. I would be too, at the sight of Hillary's hairy gams.
 

Ah, yes. Dear Jodin. He paid the Randho de Rio Grande a visit.

I love dear Jodin, except of course when I am having to paint the bottom 8" of all the walls to get off the pee smell.

So far I have not been blessed with a visit from the Mikael Rudolph, the Minnesota Moonbat Mime. How I wish he would come to the Rancho. He and Jodin could stand and yap at each other like quivering like lap dogs and I could hear the sweet music of progressive thought. Unfortunately I fear that they'd soil the floor, as they soil every floor that they're on. And everything that they do.

The only problem is that since Our Many Titted Empress used to get drunk on cocktails of rich Rethuglican virgins' blood and Grey Goose Vodka, she'd hop on Bruno's back and ride him like a rented mule, or Nansky Peloski's 757, and whenever Bruno hears that Our MTE is coming he runs and hides among the greasewood and mesquite. The coyotes try to bury him, but that's another story.
 

LOL...Commissar Theocritus, I don't usually know how to respond (because I'm not very funny)....but may I call upon your charity to visit my MySpace? Nobody ever comments, and they probably think I'm some kind of radical.

Thank you, it would mean alot to me!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= ... ef=profile
 

I'll do it but it won't be from Theocritus.
 

Thank you. I just love you! And you make me laugh so much! Both in karactor and not....I think you are neat.
 

You're very kind although I have been known to make small children burst into tears by merely walking into the room. Women cry and strong men grow pale.
 

Commissar Theocritus

You're very kind although I have been known to make small children burst into tears by merely walking into the room. Women cry and strong men grow pale.

Yes, but I think I've seen an apparition of the dead Lenin....and there is very little more frightening than that. It even caused the paint to peel off my walls....either that or it was something gone awry in my bathtub vodka distilling process. Please do not reprt me for that last admission.
 

Hrrrmmm... comrades, how does a comrade get away with just being a "traci"!?! Where is the glorious glorification of The Party(TM) in such a name? Not even a simple comrade before this Amerikkkan name... hrrrrrmmm... very suspicious comrades, very suspicious, and to talk ill of The Great Lenin of The People(TM), we are thinking this prole needs re-education at The Wombat Factory.
 

Red Rooster

Hrrrmmm... comrades, how does a comrade get away with just being a "traci"!?! Where is the glorious glorification of The Party(TM) in such a name? Not even a simple comrade before this Amerikkkan name... hrrrrrmmm... very suspicious comrades, very suspicious, and to talk ill of The Great Lenin of The People(TM), we are thinking this prole needs re-education at The Wombat Factory.

Thank you, Red Rooster. You see, this has been weighing heavily on my mind, as I seek a name that is communist, yet girlie. I love being prolie, but also to keep my gender identity. Is this possible?

And about Lenin (may he rust in peice), I mean not to speak ill against him.
 

Yes, yes, this is good submission to Party Protocol(TM). When a prole is called out by those more equal (of course we are all equal, but some are more equal!) for their trespasses against The Party(TM), a prole must submit to the will of The Party(TM)!!!! NOW!!!!

Let's see here, we have the most equal of all equals Commissarka Pinkie, and then there's Sister Massively Opiated, and Lenin -n- Things.... oh yes and of course we are still unsure about the hirstuteness of Leninka, and there's Rosie The Red (who did a fine tour of The Wombat Factory, mind you) now we have the new most equal comrades: Komsomolka Olga Katrina and Casserole Czar. Hrrrrrmmmm....

We are missing.... we are missing...

peoples...
Mary Marussia
Liberty 5-3000
Elena Maximovna
Comrade Sonia

planets...
Gore's Gaiia
Peoples Pluto
Red Venus

animals...
Red Chic (Heh...)
O'Rainbow The Unicorn

Ah-ha... Jenny von Westfalling the battered and verbally abused ahem!, er.... the loved and cherished wife of Comrade Karl Marxipad, er Marx.
 

traci, when I first joined the collective I was merely Theocritus. Which is a name that I use elsewhere. I was then promoted to Commissar Theocritus. Bear in mind that although we are very humble here, devoted body and soul to the party, like all good progressives were mean, back-stabbing sons of bitches who grasp and claw at everything. Think of Nanski's rookers.

Why not become Comrade traci? Or Colonel traci?

Bear in mind you can get what you have the grasp to get. How do you think I got the Rancho del Rio Grande? Earning it?

Pardon. I just wet myself laughing.
 

You'll have to excuse Commissar Theocritus, he's sucked the blood of so many Rethuglikkkans his liver has gone soft, and I warn you be cautious, the minute you are close enough for him to whisper in your ear the fangs shoot forth and next thing you know your wallet gone!

I, on the other hand, peck pocket proles I hardly know, that way there is no beaky feelings once they are tared are feathered. Of course the wallets go to the Commissar of Unanimous Caring, because he Cares™ far more than a fowl beaked Rooster could. And he knows just what to do with the money!

I'm just here for Woomba Loomba's and their proper kicking and screaming and whining er social engineering femynist re-education!

Because the Glass Ceiling™ never shatters when your Oppressed™!!!
 

We had a discussion about names on another thread recently, and like Theocritus, I did not choose a Russian/Communist name for myself, either. This may be due to the fact that I signed up not knowing the Cube was equipped with The People's Tractor Beam, which sucked me in like the Death Star did the Millennium Falcon. If you think my avatar makes me look fat, you should've seen what I looked like before Bruno pushed me into the waste compactor.

But if traci insists, she could always try this link I stumbled across recently:

http://www.blogthings.com/russiannamegenerator/

Guaranteed to make Red Square's head explode. After running a few tests on it, I've concluded that this is where Neil Simon got the names of his cast members for his play Fools.
 

I'm just wondering, does the collective need a dairy cow? Are all dairy cows girls?

Sorry, I'm on my way out the door. Will have to respond more when I get back. I'm thinking of Sister Pretty Dairy Cow....but it's early (for me), and I haven't had my coffee yet. :)
 

Pinkie, I am Theocritus because I came to the Cube from jessicaswell.com where I chose the name of a dead, much and long dead, Greek poet. Why? Why ask why? Everything that I say is a lie. Never say never.

Yes, the Cube has a People's Tractor Beam. I find that I am the most verbose Comrade here, which is no surprise to people who know me.

And Bruno has repeatedly apologized for shoving you into the trash compactor. Bear in mind that we'd just had the Rosie Beast here and if there's anyone who can make him go off his rocker--and it's none too steady a rocker, as you know--it's the Rosie Beast.
 

The People's Tractor Beam(TM) - for drawing in Thoughtcriminals(TM) in need of Re-Edukation(TM) and turning them into model citizens of the Collective(TM).

An invention worthy of following the great People's Tractor(TM).
 

Olga Katrina, here we have a mechanism for these impure thoughts: Jiffy Lobo.

It's amazing how a sharp little knife will do all the work of expensive re-education.

When coupled with CNN it's infallible. And after you've had your prefrontal lobes cuisinarted, then you can actually listen to Keith Olbermann and nod your head in agreement. And after I've had a particularly good treatment from Jiffy Lobo, I start having erotic dreams about Janeane Gawdawfulo and the Rosie Beast.
 

Yes Comrade traci, for the only cow we have now is our MTE, and she is such that the morning milk tastes of sour roots. Oh and yes, take it from a Rooosta, all dairy cows are girls (well except that prog bull that keeps trying to breast feed the calves)... But how about something a little more "collective" like:

Sister Peoples Diary Cow

Speaking of Peoples Dairy Cows, I suggest you all get your own today!!!
 

What? My Comrades are using made up names? Well, I will have you know that I have always been, and always will be, The Mighty Pup aka Sherlock Pup, Sir Pup Esq., Edgar Alan Pup, Stonewall Pupson, Double O Pup et al. I merely appended my Soviet ovich to match my illegal passport.
 

Khm, just found this posting... The person uses the same logic, but discounts any sacrifices necessary to address Global Warming as minuscule and useful even if the warming is not real.
 

Mi - that is a classic example of the trend we like to call LIFE IMITATES THE PEOPLE'S CUBE.
 

Commissar Theocritus

Why not become Comrade traci? Or Colonel traci?

Bear in mind you can get what you have the grasp to get. How do you think I got the Rancho del Rio Grande? Earning it?

Pardon. I just wet myself laughing.
Precisely so and I have often considered "The People's Superior", which I so justly deserve. But my humility has prevented me from adopting it.

Holy antiquity! This is an old thread but better late than never, I say.
 

Commissar Theocritus

Olga Katrina, here we have a mechanism for these impure thoughts: Jiffy Lobo.

It's amazing how a sharp little knife will do all the work of expensive re-education.

When coupled with CNN it's infallible. And after you've had your prefrontal lobes cuisinarted, then you can actually listen to Keith Olbermann and nod your head in agreement. And after I've had a particularly good treatment from Jiffy Lobo, I start having erotic dreams about Janeane Gawdawfulo and the Rosie Beast.

Great Comrade Commisar Theocritus!
I think to have erotic fulfillment of such dreams with Gawdawfulo and the Beast, you would want to wear a strap-on. Wouldn't dare try using real thing. You would have to have surgery to find, as it would ingrow to escape!
 

Yes, I think a strap on. From Snap On Tools. Have to be stainless steel though; high-carbon steel would turn black and rust instantly.