Socialist Prog Repeller

Protect your yard from Communists, Socialists, Occupussies, Unions, Anarchists, Hippies, Global warmists, and Islamists

Keep socialist pests away with this odor-activated talking device that reads such irritating pre-recorded messages as:

• Life isn't fair.
• Work starts at 7am.
• Why don't you pitch in and help out?
• Grab a shovel or a hammer.
• Remember to shower once a day.
• Progress is not what you think it is.
• Nobody owes you anything.
• The earth is just fine, thank you.
• Obama is not a god.
• Marxism is just an outdated conspiracy theory.

Scare progs away and keep your neighborhood clean of leftist pestilence.

Special thanks to General Secretary for the idea
 

Add a free hand soap dispenser on the side along with some local help wanted job applications and it will truly be full-proof.
 

Please please tell me it's solar powered so I don't need a carbon credit...
 

Congratulations, Red Square and General Secretary! You are the latest recipients of Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award!


And for your mothers:




As everyone in the Collective should be aware, it is my policy to award Beet of the Week no more than once in a thread. To do otherwise would foster greed among the proles, and make the whole award program look cheap and easy, which in turn might lead people to think its administrator is just as cheap and easy. That means Red Square and General Secretary will have to share this honor, along with the bumpersticker. I leave it to them to figure out how they want to do that.

But if all they're going to do is fight about it, then I shall have no choice but to settle it by tearing Commodore Snoogie-Woogums in half.

Then they can fight over who gets the half with the diaper.
 

Does it come in a gasoline powered version? And preferably not green? If so I'll take two :)
 

Wish I would have known about this handy item a bit sooner. I thought burning copies of Al Gore's Earth in the Balance would keep progs away. Instead, I've been brought up on charges of blasphemy and apostasy.
 

Yes, I need one for the front yard and one for the back yard where my wife and daughters live. I've been reassigned away from home, ordered to "disappear" and I hear my superior is dating my wife until my daughter reaches the age of 18. Anything is possible when there is no God, no morals, no right, no wrong, just whatever feels good and gets us to the peaceful utopia. I love my boss. He was so good at lying and manipulation. He will be very good at participating in a fair and just dictatorship of the proletariate.
 

Dont' put one out front of the Spitz One Act Playhouse! Otherwise how would we enjoy plays such as these?!?!

“He could easily not have known, because as you can imagine, at these kinds of parties you’re not always dressed, and I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other naked woman.”

—Henri Leclerc, defense attorney for French financier Dominique Strauss-Kahn, responding to claims that his client participated in a naked orgy in Lille, France, that was paid for with embezzled public funds. Mr. Strauss-Kahn’s political career was previously ruined by rape accusations made by a New York hotel maid last year.
 

Prog Repeller. Whew. Thought it said Frog. That would have p'd of my Cajun Cousins.
Close.
I shall purchase one, can we use coupons and beet credits?
A WIC?
Anything?
 

For those who can't obtain a prog repeller, there are many words that when spoken, will send those of the leftist persuasion on their merry way, among which are :

Responsibility

Accountability

Morality

Liberty

Freedom

Constitution

These singular words, and the ideals they encompass, are sure to convince most liberals that further conversation with you is pointless.

Problem solved.

Helpful hint: To remove those who are heavily stained by Marxist liberalism, just mention anyone or anything Biblical.......... works every time !


Edited 3x times
Reason: Wholesale compositional incompetency

 

Krasnodar

For those who can't obtain a prog repeller, there are many words that when spoken, will send those of the leftist persuasion on their merry way, among which are :

Responsibility

Accountability

Morality

Liberty

Freedom

Constitution

These singular words, and the ideals they encompass, are sure to convince most liberals that further conversation with you is pointless.

Problem solved.

Helpful hint: To remove those who are heavily stained by Marxist liberalism, just mention anyone or anything Biblical.......... works every time !


Edited 3x times
Reason: Wholesale compositional incompetency
Careful there, comrade. In some progressively ruled districts, mentioning anything Biblical is prosecuted as a hate crime.
 

I tried to click on this link to view the product, but my browser sent me to Al Gore's "Carbon Credits: Purchase Now!" ebay listing instead. Is anyone else having that problem?
 

That is strange, comrade, that you had to seek elsewhere! We sell carbon credits on this Mother Site as well.


 

Do the proceeds make their way back to Uncle Al? I accept no imitations - Genuine ALGORE Carbon Credits ONLY for me!
 

I won't lie to you - we sell only generic, off-brand carbon credits. To be completely honest, they really are knock-offs made in North Korea with slave labor. But they save the environment and relieve liberal guilt just as much as the authentic brand product, if not more. Have you seen a satellite shot of North Korea at night?


 

You lost me when you started with "I won't lie to you" - how did you get so high up in party structure with an attitude like that? or is that, in fact, a lie? Hah! Very clever, comrade - very clever.
 

"I won't lie to you" = "let me be clear"

Sound familiar?
 

Franco from Spain? Che from Argentina? Hugo from (Well now) Argentina? Clinton?
Carter? Ahmadinejad from Iran?
Wait I got it. The Muslim currently in Office in the USA.
 

I need one of those.

Maybe you should add: "Soap: It won't kill you."
 

Vrag Naroda

I need one of those.

Maybe you should add: "Soap: It won't kill you."
It's the thought comrade, the thought.
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Congratulations, Red Square and General Secretary! You are the latest recipients of Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award!


As everyone in the Collective should be aware, it is my policy to award Beet of the Week no more than once in a thread. To do otherwise would foster greed among the proles, and make the whole award program look cheap and easy, which in turn might lead people to think its administrator is just as cheap and easy. That means Red Square and General Secretary will have to share this honor, along with the bumpersticker. I leave it to them to figure out how they want to do that.

But if all they're going to do is fight about it, then I shall have no choice but to settle it by tearing Commodore Snoogie-Woogums in half.

Then they can fight over who gets the half with the diaper. Comrade Pinkie, can't you just cut Snoogie Woogums in half vertically? Just sayin'.