The Lumpenwagon: People's Housing and Locomotion Unit

Greetings to all Comrades! Liberators All!

Our Special Housing and Locomotion Directorate in charge of scientific experiments to improve the lot of the toiling masses is hard as Stakhanovites at work as seen from latest project to alter the filthy assemblages of machine parts created by capitalist destroyers, into proletarian-friendly equipment! In a triple blow to decadent bourgeois notions and with an eye toward furthering the reeducation of misguided but useful environmental activists, the Special Directorate No. 3 has unveiled the People's Housing and Locomotion Unit, aka The Lumpenwagon!

Comrade Scientist Vlad “Thunderbird” Myasischev
testing Lumpenwagon Model KerryMe '04

We in the spirit of Lenin and Stalin have liberated the People from the oil-carriages that the exploiters use to keep them in submission. The Lumpenwagon need only the fervent energy and motivation of the proletarians to propel it towards greatness!

We humbly petition The Central Committee to alter the next Five Year Plan to build these Universal People Transporters and free State resources for the armed struggle against war and imperialism.

Plans and drawings attached.

Sleep Number Cart (full). Improved new spacious design allows for seating and sleeping in two comfortable positions (on your left side and right side). Choose your own sleep number, comrade! (The grant consisted of capital liberated from plutocrats anyway)
	Extension to People's Housing and Locomotion Unit designed by progressive engineers of France. Dismissed by purists as too bourgeois and denigrating the simplicity of proletarian aesthetics, it nonetheless reflects the true spirit of French Humanism. We put “art” into “cart!”
Special Directorate No. 3 testing new environmentally friendly Universal People Transporter Unit developed out of revolutionary fervour. “When Comrade Hillary becomes President, there will be chicken in every car and pot in every garage!”
People's Housing and Locomotion Units waiting to be liberated from the opium dispensers of the exploiting class.
	1968 European Lumpenwagon. Ergonomic design for proletarian comfort. Comes in full, twin, and trois styles.
The Fast and the Furious Research is being conducted to extend the capabilities of the People's Transporter Unit
	Re-educate children early! Propagandistic toy set promoting progressive life style of the lumpenproletariat.

 

Woohoo!  Where do I sign up for the jet-powered Lumpenwagon?
 

Dear Red Square,

Can you explain how these Lumpenwagons becomes proletarian-friendly equipment....  I think these are just eco-friendly.... I don't think to become an capitalist we have to reject thier products also....
 

Will you be offering a version that runs on Vodka?
 

CommieCarl

Will you be offering a version that runs on Vodka?
why would you want to waste good vodka on something that you might power it yourself using the after-effects of the vodka?
 

Yes I will be
 

I would not use good vodka....it would be crappy Voka, no self respecting Commie would use good vodka for something like that....we will all drink good vodka to celebrate if it runs!!! Hail the CubE!
 

Good, I'm glad to hear it, because if you did use good vodka, I would be forced to beat you over the head with a hard salami and send you to the Gulaug
 

I am glad to see the occupants of the Lumpenwagon will be able to display their Socialist fervor to the outside world via the see-thru sides! Bravo to our collectivist engineers in France! This will also enable the Party to keep a close eye upon straying socialists and capitalist agitators as they might think the Lumpenwagon would be an appropriate place to hatch their imperialist plans. We shall round them up swiftly and put them on the Universal People Transporter Unit and send the slime to re-education facilities (Hillary and ACLU-approved, of course)!
 

Comrade Jimmy the klaw informs us that there are several stores where you can get a FREE People's BBQ Grill!

• A&P
• Albertsons
• Costco
• Fry's
• Kroger
• Kmart
• Big Lots
• Brookshire's
• Lowes
• Publix
• Safeway
• Sam's Club

LUMPENGRILL!


 

That is so last year Red. This is the advanced bbq model:



And for the home:


 

Ah, and let me share with you the latest design for lawn mowers....The John Deere Wart Hog:


 

For some reason, I now want one of those... despite the fact that I do not have a lawn....
 

Who can blame you for that? LOL
 

Comrade Pupovich, I must bow to your engineering acumen at this fine piece of machinery. However, In my need for lawnkeeping, is the Prole added in with the price of this war...... er.... Grass liberating machine?
 

Hmmm. I can see you are a man of unique appreciation for advanced lawn care weaponry, so of course, provided this is a cash transaction, the prole will be thrown in at no extra cost.
 

We now have a new standard for Lumpenwagen-ness


 

Most impressive!


 

Or the gas powered harley model.....



 

Oh, and it is in the classic orange and black! I once had a leather jacket that I somehow managed to have stolen from me... You basic Harley shield background with Harley Davidson Murdercycles emblazoned in flames on it. You know, for a long time that is how I envisioned my departure from this world.... sliding down a road, bike in flames... going out in a blaze of glory.
 

Sounds like a waste of bike....
 

Well, you have to understand, the vision was of me putting the bike down to avoid killing some infant that wandered in my path. Yes, I can hear the brothers now... The Pup sure knew how to go out. He could have saved himself, but chose to go over the cliff than kill the kid.

To give you some idea how close I was, how much I trusted my best bud, a national vice president of one of the larger outlaw clubs in the US, years ago, I was very depressed, considering suicide in a very real way, even went to the "nut hut" as he called it. But I actually told this man that if I were to go out, he would own my bike. Now that is trust, for if you knew the kind of people I am talking about, you would know it would have been simple for him to have had me go out, "by accident." I even remember one night running around drinking with one of the brothers who had a gun, and told him I really wouldn't mind if he were to use it on me. To this day, I still love outlaw bikers. You would not believe the looks I would get when I worked for Exxon so many years ago, and would quite honestly tell them there was more honor among outlaw bikers than there was where I worked.

I have tried to lure my comrades to my homepage. but if you would like to hear about the Pup, a little bit of his history, and even an old picture of the Pup, check this out:

http://members.cox.net/mightypup/SomePupHistory.htm

It will explain a lot, maybe too much!
 

And now the peoples helicopter




That's right, a college student from Nigeria takes apart old vehicles and uses the scrap parts to create his own working helicopters. The 12-meter-long aircraft, which has never flown above a height of seven feet, is powered by a secondhand 133 horsepower engine from a Honda Civic. In the basic cockpit there are two Toyota car seats, with a couple more in the cabin behind. Controls are simple, with an ignition button, an accelerator lever to control vertical thrust and a joystick that provides balance and bearing


 

Would you believe that your very own Commissar Pupovich rode in Sturgis with this earth friendly People's Harley?


 

Mmmm... buffalo burger....
 

tastes like spotted owl.....
 

Premier Betty

Mmmm... buffalo burger....

Actually, they serve buffalo burger in Sturgis. I will never forget one morning coming out of a People's shower, and having to wonder how hung over I really was, for there, coming down a sidewalk, was a guy riding a real buffalo! Oh, the sights and things I got to experience at Sturgis. There was one bike I tried to find a picture of but couldn't, that I really liked, It was your basic Harely, but where most people had chrome, he had wood.

You have to know Sturgis, at least the way it was, there was only about 2 year round bars on Main Street, but during bike week, most all the regular places move out and are taken over by different shops and bars. There is a bar that is open only 2 weeks a year called the Cellar, and it is the basement of a shop. Your very own Commissar's name is cut into the beam of that bar.