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E-mail itTough Mother: A Vagina Monologue You'd Rather Not See
 | Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers of progress from exploring the wide range of tasks their sexual organs can accomplish. Thinking is one of them. I once started writing a comment on the Offensive Arts thread but it turned out bigger and more serious than I had expected. It kept growing the next day and the day after that. When it was fully grown I trimmed it a bit, brushed off some odd pieces, and sent it to Pajamas Media. A paragraph that started it all but was not included into the final PJM submission was this: "Aliza Shvarts' view of the human body as a collection of equal parts that can be randomly rearranged without affecting the outcome reminds me of our "ultimate egalitarian puzzle" The People's Cube that's red on all sides - a mock brainteaser that eliminates competition and guarantees equality of results for all players. The end result of Aliza Shvarts' performance project was also a cube that was red on all sides. I had never expected the People's Cube to have a sexual connotation. This must be some serious progress, comrades." |
Art from Body Parts: Not Just For Nazis Anymore
Aliza Shvarts, activist art student at Yale, claims she repeatedly inseminated herself with sperm freshly collected from campus masturbators, then induced miscarriages and stored the resulting blood with fertilized eggs in order to smear it over the surface of a large suspended cube at a student art show. Why? As a rule of thumb, if someone goes all screwy and it's not the result of mental illness, it must be a progressive activist scoring one for The Children™ and the Greater Good™. And that is the story of little Ms. Shvarts.
She wanted to prove that all body parts are interchangeable and "can have other purposes" - an idea she may have conceived in her class on post-modern philosophy or at the college performance of The Vagina Monologues, which is practically the same thing.
In her own words, it was meant to deconstruct the traditional "mythology that creates the sexist, racist, ableist, nationalist and homophobic perspective, distinguishing what body parts are 'meant' to do from their physical capability." Translation: aborted fetuses make nice lampshades.
Indeed, Ms. Shvarts' pursuit of unusual purposes for body parts is not new. In 1943, another uninhibited woman named Ilse Koch tried to deconstruct the "normative understanding of the relationship between art and the human body" by having a lampshade made from tattooed skins of Buchenwald prisoners.
Even in the midst of a bloody war, human lampshades were beyond normal. Since then, however, we have witnessed a relentless push for "progress" among the socially aware artists whose media include everything from lice to excrement to bodily fluids smeared over religious objects, which has notably erased "normative understandings" and redefined "the politics of convention."
Are we in the 21st century ready to appreciate a human lampshade in the form of a suspended cube, red with blood of the unborn, lit up by videos of their potential mother inducing her own miscarriages? We won't know until someone tests the limits of our tolerance. And that's what Aliza Shvarts' project was about - testing the limits. Never mind the psychobabble.
In the end, her allegorical pee stick produced a negative. The world wasn't ready and the project was aborted. Note to "progressive" artists: the world may require some serious additional screwing before it's ready for this sort of art.
The "artist" is now pulling the ambiguity defense: "For me, the most poignant aspect of this representation - the part most meaningful in terms of its political agenda (...) - is the impossibility of accurately identifying the resulting blood. Because the miscarriages coincide with the expected date of menstruation (the 28th day of my cycle), it remains ambiguous whether there was ever a fertilized ovum or not."
Ambiguity was also Ilse Koch's defense. Her guilt was never proven - neither by the Nazis in 1943, nor by the Americans after the war. The lampshade found in her house was made of goat skin. A former SS prosecutor who readily testified about the gas chambers, refused to support the lampshade story - a charge he himself had thrown out in 1943 for lack of evidence. He agreed that "The Bitch of Buchenwald" was a depraved woman - but not a sadistic maniac. The only visible result of the American investigation was Frau Koch's embarrassing pregnancy in the middle of the long trial.
Her guilt unproven, she was released by the Americans - but arrested again by the Germans under the pressure of public opinion. Her youngest son, who was conceived during the American trial, visited her every week in jail until she hung herself in 1967.
Was Ilse Koch a monster? Without the proof, it's in the eye of the beholder. Or, as Aliza Shvarts puts it, "this ambivalence makes obvious how the act of ascribing a word to something physical is at its heart an ideological act, an act that literally has the power to construct bodies." We can only add that such an ideological act also has the literal power to make bodies vanish - a more likely outcome in the history of modern ideas.
The ambiguity didn't help "The Bitch of Buchenwald," but it's really helping "The Bitch of Yale" who is building up the prestige, fighting critics, and enjoying a passionate support in the alternative "progressive" universe.
Case in point: an "edgy" jewelry designer from Hollywood named Onch has already made Aliza Shvarts pendant, which Guanabee.com describes as "reminiscent of roses and miscarried baby brain juice. Chains are not included, but we think this would look absolutely lovely paired with faux-Native American leather fringe boots and leopard-print culottes."
Onch is a 23 years old airhead who caters to Paris Hilton and Amy Winehouse. Says Onch: "After reading the story about artist Aliza Shvarts, i was so inspired, i made a piece named after her. Aliza is a Yale art student that has created quite a controversy in the art world! i LOVE IT! ... I AM NOT supporting abortion ... however i DO support having a voice and being HEARD! ... xoxo Onch."
For something as ambiguous as Shvarts' statements, I'd say the lady doth support too much.
Suppose for a moment that the Onch pendant has magic powers to join our two universes into one. What's next? Gucci vagina-shaped handbags with a umbilical chord strap and tiny fetuses on chains? Sex-change clinics shipping snipped male organs to gourmet restaurants in Greenwich Village for special clientele? Pottery Barn selling tattooed human lampshades?
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The recent increase in square footage of finely tattooed skin is a sign of some serious progress towards that end. A growing number of people believe, just like Aliza Shvarts, that their "organs can do other things, can have other purposes." I see new ones on the train every day.
If you believe that a scary-looking trump stamp artist can turn your skin into a masterpiece so magnificent that you'll be proud to showcase it for the rest of your life to friends, family, and triage nurses - then why not take the next step and have your skin donated posthumously to the local arts and crafts shop? It is selfish to take art to the grave when you could share it with the community. Your organs can do other things, can have other purposes. What an idea! Gives a whole new meaning to your existence, doesn't it? You actually get a chance to become something bigger than you could ever be in your lifetime: a lampshade.
Make yourself useful! Recycle your skin and become an "organic" picture in the guestroom, a tablecloth, or a tree ornament. It's better than plastic and it beats Hummels.
What's holding you? You don't believe in traditional moral norms, do you? They're such a conservative crock. Aliza Shvarts says we must liberate ourselves from the "normative understanding of 'the real,'" meaning ethics. Remember the cargo-cult tribe in New Guinea who ate Michael Rockefeller and turned his skull into a lawn ornament? Like Aliza Shvarts, they believed in exploring the wide realm of capability of our organs.
Believe it or not, moral norms are real. They exist by virtue of having an absolute and objective source, purpose, and measure: human life. We have a shared "normative understanding" that human organs, including the dead ones, are the symbols of human life, which is sacred and should not be meddled with for any purpose other than the support and continuation of human life.
Husband left with $2000 tattoo of cheating wife |
This unlucky British man endured 20 painful hours of needlework - as well as forking out almost $2000 for it - and now he's doomed never to get his ex-wife off his back after she left him for another man.On the other side of this shared norm resides Aliza Shvarts, who insists that humans are disconnected from the natural function of continuation of life. As a "progressive" she probably thinks it must be the function of the government.
Consider this passage: "Just as it is a myth that women are 'meant' to be feminine and men masculine, that penises and vaginas are 'meant' for penetrative heterosexual sex (or that mouths, anuses, breasts, feet or leather, silicone, vinyl, rubber, or metal implements are not 'meant' for sex at all), it is a myth that ovaries and a uterus are 'meant' to birth a child."
It might actually be true if human bodies were fashioned by an "edgy" Hollywood designer Onch. But the way we are fashioned now, we adhere to certain norms that will remain real no matter how hard the "progressives" shut their eyes on them.
Progress of a civilization - at least in my universe - is measured by the value it puts on the individual human life. But in the world of Aliza Shvarts, progress is defined as the destruction of our "normative understanding of 'the real.'" Translation: if you want progress, quit thinking rationally. In that universe, progress is measured by how many more people have "liberated" themselves from "the bounds of normatively defined narratives" and embraced insanity.
The "liberation" cliché here stems from a wide-spread logical error suggesting that the opposite side of rationality is freedom. It's not true. The opposite of rationality is slavery of the mind and submission to the first manipulator who claims the possession of your brain - and hence of your entire body. The opposite of "normative understanding" is not "higher knowledge" - but the loss of moral coordinates resulting in a social and personal degradation and the emergence of things like lampshades made with tattooed skin - or with blood from premeditated miscarriages.
In the alternative universe of post-modernist absurdity, our value as humans is overruled by our race, gender, sexual preference, ability, and other secondary aspects of existence, which suppresses individual qualities and assigns us to various groups and subgroups, each with a different set of second-hand ethics. We become mere functions inside a socialist hierarchy of groups, some of which are more useful to the "common good" than others. This is where the Buchenwald lampshade comes in.
Every new "progressive" generation believed they would do things better than their parents whom they despised - but ended up stepping on the same old rake. There's a logic in every madness, and the logic of that mad universe sooner or later demands human sacrifice - be it in the form of lampshades, fetuses, gulags, suicide bombings - or New York City public schools and affirmative action.
The spelling of the name Shvarts suggests that she comes from a family of relatively recent Russian-Jewish immigrants. How much tuition fees did they pay to have their cherished child turned into an equivalent of a Papuan cargo-cult worshiper who expects to obtain rewards of the advanced civilization, not through understanding of its inner workings, but through acting out and "magical thinking"? I doubt it's what they had expected when they moved to America.
Aliza Shvarts is not just a culprit; she is also a tragic victim - an immature girl who had been conditioned to channel into our world the poisonous alternative muck raked by the "liberal" educational establishment. The ugliness you just saw is only a splash on the quiet surface of the academic pond that is swarming with unspeakable monsters of post-modernism and neo-Marxism underneath the water lilies of science and enlightenment.
http://investigation.discovery.com/video/most-evil.html?playerId=1519720004&titleId=184445486
Red Neckski
mrsoc1
mrsoc1
What will become of a person so depraved that she makes Nazis look sane? ....She's still morally bankrupt and possibly mentally impaired. In any case there is something wrong with this girl's soul and someone should take the time to look into what it is and try to help her.In otherr words, a possible Politburon candidate member come the Glorious World of Next Tuesday.
(Thank you Red for my avitar :) I feel complete now and fully a part of the collective)
Lenin 'n Thingies
(Thank you Red for my avitar :) I feel complete now and fully a part of the collective)Sigh. And all I seem to be doing is waving goodbye...
Goodbye. Always goodbye.
As such (from me at least), there will never be The Penis Monologues...
Sigh.
Perhaps the first Living White Male writer who has been able to break out of the shackles of DWEMism was Dan Brown. His DaVinci Code is a solid, passionate, and never-ending vagina monologue.
Because "Vagina monologues" is not the genre or the style - it is the artistic method! Just like social realism is.
---------------------------
On a different note, in the piece above I forgot to mention this: a belief that human organs can have other purposes naturally leads to a belief that humans themselves can have other purposes as well. And since people are often too stupid to know what their true purpose is, it is the duty of the enlightened elites to rule over the masses for their own good.
Worship me!!!
Red Square
And since people are often too stupid to know what their true purpose is, it is the duty of the enlightened elites to rule over the masses for their own good.Lenin forbid that I would find myself even considering making a minor correction to the Red Cube, but it seems to me you needed to expound on this "Some people are too stupid to know what their true purpose is : that purpose designated by the state for the Common Good™.
After all comrade. does it even matter is say a person has a reap aptitude for advanced calculus and feels that is their calling in life, but the state has a greater need for a potato peeler?
Premier Betty
Of course not. Penis monologues are sexist, bigoted, and offensive. (I think we can all imagine what it would really be like.)I actually enjoy a good penis monologue. They are very articulate at times ;)
Buddy_Lenin
Sigh. And all I seem to be doing is waving goodbye... Although in my avatar I seem to be all up in yo grill..... and gettin' very friendly w/ya.....hello.
Sigh.
Peace out, G.
Lenin 'n Thingies
Duh.Heheh. F'shizzle, G! She be ya new boo, homes? She saucy 'nuff; know what I'm sayin?
Yo, it'all gravy, man!
Yeh gi'ya dap fo' that ho, G!
You note, of course, what a fast learner I am.
Besides Comrade, this may not be who you think "da man" is, for he is not the infoulable Lenin, Marx bless his soul, rather he is but a claimant to being his brother. Not that it is necessarily relevant, but I hope you understand this single canine Comrade is also related to Stalin, and was there with the real Lenin at the burning barricades. And you know, dog's have always been wimmin's best friend. diamond dogs that is....
Commissarka Pinkie
Down, Pup. You'll spoil the mood, and I want to see how far they go. If you want to make yourself useful, go get my camera.Doubt it will go too far...Buddy Lenin thinks I'm a dude. Silly boys,they assume everyone on a blog is of the male species until they find out otherwise.
Commissar Pupovich
Now wait just a Sputnik second here Comrade! First off, the Party has not determined who will be "da man," or for that matter, da it or da Toaster. The Party must make these decisions, For the Common Good™ not to mention For the Children™ should things proceed this far.Besides Comrade, this may not be who you think "da man" is, for he is not the infoulable Lenin, Marx bless his soul, rather he is but a claimant to being his brother. Not that it is necessarily relevant, but I hope you understand this single canine Comrade is also related to Stalin, and was there with the real Lenin at the burning barricades. And you know, dog's have always been wimmin's best friend. diamond dogs that is....
Okay,I just meant that he da man in a general,non-congratulatory sort of way..like,you da dog cuz... you jus be da dog....see? But,seeing as how you were w/ the real Lenin at the
burning barricades,I must reconsider this general appellation that I have bestowed upon you
and say instead....dat you da really crusty dog ;)
Post script I don't care for diamonds...too flashy.
Lenin 'n Thingies
Okay,I just meant that he da man in a general,non-congratulatory sort of way..like,you da dog cuz... you jus be da dog....see? But,seeing as how you were w/ the real Lenin at theburning barricades,I must reconsider this general appellation that I have bestowed upon you
and say instead....dat you da really crusty dog ;)
I am just a humble dog doing my service to world socialism. And I welcome you to the cube in the progressive manner....
Premier Betty
I'm confused....So situation normal da?
Lenin 'n Thingies
Buddy Lenin thinks I'm a dude. Silly boys,they assume everyone on a blog is of the male species until they find out otherwise.Actually, at the reeducation camp they told us it was sexist and outrageous to make a gender-based value judgement like that. There are a great many outrages in modern times, you know... Anyway --
Who knows? Lenin 'n Thingies might be a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that), or maybe she enjoys
Gender-neutral in any case.
Commissar Pupovich
Besides Comrade, this may not be who you think "da man" is, for he is not the infoulable Lenin, Marx bless his soul, rather he is but a claimant to being his brother.Well, it was in 1887 (when I myself was a young pup), that my death was faked. We even let Vlad believe it for awhile -- the Party and I, I mean... Once he was sufficiently radicalized, I re-introduced myself. I arrived in an ox cart that was carrying manure. I recall saying at the time that I was an idiot for arriving thus, but since it was the only transportation I could find , I was still being useful to the party.
That was when Vlad called me a really useful idiot, of course.
The rest, as they say, is history. And I've aged well.
Commissar Pupovich
Lenin 'n Thingies
Okay,I just meant that he da man in a general,non-congratulatory sort of way..like,you da dog cuz... you jus be da dog....see? But,seeing as how you were w/ the real Lenin at theburning barricades,I must reconsider this general appellation that I have bestowed upon you
and say instead....dat you da really crusty dog ;)
I am just a humble dog doing my service to world socialism. And I welcome you to the cube in the progressive manner....
Thank you kindly,I do enjoy a good licking occasionally.
Buddy_Lenin
[Who knows? Lenin 'n Thingies might be a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that), or maybe she enjoysa gender-based judgment, but I love the mens :)
Lenin 'n Thingies
Thank you kindly,I do enjoy a good licking occasionally.Which is why I am blessed to be known as a service dog.
Quote:
As such (from me at least), there will never be The Penis Monologues...No, but maybe we can have "The Testicle Dialogues" with Left Wing Nut and Reich Wing Nut, and the Progressive Penis as moderator.
PP: Good morning boys
LWN: Good morning PP.
RWN: Are we going to chop some wood? I see you're up early PP
LWN: Yes PP! Let's chop some wood for Aliza's art project!
RWN: Ugghhh! You got to be kidding me? Don't tell me you're going to use her for a visual stimulus?
LWN: Reich Wing Nut, this not about our visual stimulants, it's about Aliza's visual stimulant, a gift for the World of Art! A Masterpiece!
RWN: Are you telling me Progressive Penis is going to have us run off a batch by hand and it will be a masterpiece? Masturbate a masterpiece? You're nuts.
LWN: No, just a nut, together we're nuts.
RWN: Groan.....oh, all right, but we need a more reasonable visual stimulant....Playboy, Penthouse, something, anything but the thought of that skank Aliza. She has cooties, you know, and smelled like a can of rotting tuna sitting in the hot sun. Mr. Nose said it was a good thing Mr. Mouth guzzled a fifth of Jägermeister when you and PP decided to go splunking in her moonbat cave.
PP: That's the spirit Reich Wing Nut. We all must sacrifice for our Art!
RWN: OK, well make me sacrifice with Miss October 2006. That, I can suffer with.
LWN: You're such a sexist Reich Wing Nut!
RWN: Duhhhh?
PP: Ok then, we'll compromise. I'll go get Miss October 2006 and a petri dish.
LWN: Yippie! We're going to be world famous artists!
Do you think the Cube Collective can get a grant from The National Endowment for the Arts? Progressive Penis is very endowed and with the help of Barack the Bladder, he's been known to fill a glass or two containing crucifixes.
The role of PP in the classroom is still being performed by a banana in a morality play with a condom during sex ed class. We see this problem as an opportunity to
The progressive community is looking forward to a day when PP and his two inseparable nuts can perform their exhilarating interpretive dance routine in the classroom without fear of being ostracized. It will be a day when authentic dance forms of the world will be represented, highlighting how dance can bring about global unity. After all, this is what The Testicle Dialogs are about.
A Golden Globes Award might help.
Premier Betty
Is there some weird relationship developing here? Isn't this the Chairman's jurisdiction? I denounce you for thoughtcrime. Nothing un-toward goingon here. Nothing to see...just move along.
Laika the Space Dog
PP: Ok then, we'll compromise. I'll go get Miss October 2006 and a petri dish. .....For those of us who are visually challenged I did a little home work:
Here is my thread stealing entrance and departure:
Miss October 2006
....sumpin' like dat.
PEOPLE FOR HAVING SEX WITH BBQ GRILLS THIS 4TH OF INTOLERANCE JULY!
PROTEST THE ILLEGAL WAR THIS FOURTH BY HAVING LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS! HAVE SEX WITH OBAMA POSTERS! HAVE SEX WITH OBAMA YARD SIGNS! HAVE SEX WITH THE JOURNALISTS WHO ARE HAVING SEX WITH THE OBAMA POSTERS AND OBAMA YARD SIGNS!
Premier Betty
I think I'll hide in my basement that day.... Good idea,Comrade. All this talk of sex w/ objects is creepin' me out.
Commissar Pupovich
We must nip this in the bud comrades! Nip it in the bud! Thankfully, I believe Comrade Lenin 'n Thingies has the socialist Force within her, we must train it and nurture it so that she does not make such error again. I think that you should read the thread again. I have no problem w/ weird relations,excepting the relations w/ certain objects(I will accept proper punishment for such non-inclusive beliefs)..... I merely denounced the Premier for his reference to a weird relationshippossibly developing amongst Party members. I have since seen the error of my ways and have apologized for my hasty denunciation of his inquiry. As you well know,I am new to the collective and will require much correction before I am a shining example to others who might join w/ us. Please do not go easy on me at this significant time of my education. it is imperative that I be nipped in the bud. Yours in Lenin, Jo.
P.S. I can feel the socialist force within me....it is good.
Premier Betty
Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Hey Betty....was'up?
But you could still benefit if you take Pinkie's class on guest soaps and free HBO.
Remember: you are the one you've been waiting for!
Lenin 'n Thingies
Premier Betty
Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Hey Betty....was'up?Not much. Just trying to get this whole video capture card fiasco settled here. I think I might have it.
H0w 4r3 y0u?
Lenin 'n Thingies
I have no problem w/ weird relations,excepting the relations w/ certain objects(I will accept proper punishment for such non-inclusive beliefs)..... I merely denounced the Premier for his reference to a weird relationshippossibly developing amongst Party members. I have since seen the error of my ways and have apologized for my hasty denunciation of his inquiry.
I certainly hope you have opened your horizons. You saw how upset you made the Chairman? That is never a good idea. The Chairman can make or break a comrade, but I can assure you, he didn't rise to the dizzying heights he has obtained by the former. I would especially steer clear of talking badly about appliances or Hummels. Oh. and sometimes he likes to appear as a Kennedy Cop. Watch your purse as well... don't hide your contributions there, I suggest that you keep your valuables in the third drawer in the kitchen, the one closest to the door. That way only you and I will know where they are at.
Red Square
I think you already are the aware one, Comrade L.N. Thingies, since you are making out with an inflatable Lenin doll (or is it an Obama yard sign?)But you could still benefit if you take Pinkie's class on guest soaps and free HBO.
Remember: you are the one you've been waiting for!
Yes,Comrade Square,I am very aware. Aware of my position in the collective(thanx Pup) Aware of the need to be less presumptive of others' thoughtcrimes. And definitely aware of my shortcomings(and HBO comings-thanx Pinkie for the enlightenment). And rest assured,dear Comrade,I am an expert when it comes to this sort of reference book. I have the advanced edition......Excellence In Masturbation ;)
Lenin 'n Thingies
Comrade Pupovich,Kennedy Cop? What the...?Much to learn have you little one. Most wise you be to study past.
On Chairman pay attention closely. Your head may depend on it.
Premier Betty
Thingy that takes video from TV and puts it on computer. Kinda like turning your computer into a VCR to record whatever's on the TV. Sounds groovy,Comrade.
Commissar Pupovich
Lenin 'n Thingies
Comrade Pupovich,Kennedy Cop? What the...?Much to learn have you little one. Most wise you be to study past.
On Chairman pay attention closely. Your head may depend on it. For the good of the Collective, I will study the past,Comrade YodaPup.
Perhaps this deserves to be posted as a separate blog entry.
Ivan Betinov
Flying Peni...isn't that Projectile Pasta? No,like cacti... Or is it two "i's"?..... plural penis.
Quote:
Where's the flying penis footage. I was going to show my Husband-Unit the video,but it's gone. Replaced by something from the Islamic Army? Bring back the F.PHave our Islamic comrades hijacked the flying penis?!
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Red Square, 
