"WANT IS WEALTH
POVERTY IS PROSPERITY
SQUALOR IS LUXURY"

The most recent farce of an election proves, if there was no nefarious vote tampering, that we are all – at least in this country formerly known as the United States of America – under the full 0bamanation onslaught of the long-dreaded 0bama Zombie Apocalypse.

To discharge faithfully my duty to my Cube brethren and sistren, I find it necessary to post this video as a Collective Service:



Raw excerpt from the 0ssociated Press, 13 November 2012 1601Z:

…the weapon system, known as ZombieSlayer Mk 1, has been developed by the finest government minds the current kakistocracy administration has been able to assemble to be 100% effective against all zombies tested when used as directed by the 1376-page Quick Reference Guide for Soldiers.

In a move of compassion by Caesar 0bama heralded in the lapdog media as an unprecedented display of Leadership and Brilliant Statesmanship, the ZombieSlayer Mk 1 will not be available to the proles public, who might hurt themselves if they were to attempt to use it.

Casa Blanca Spokesidiot Press Secretary Jay “Carney” Carney said in a statement that “It's the most effective, legitimate, complete, complex, and all-around easiest to handle weapon system ever developed for any military anywhere, anytime. With this in our arsenal, our soldiers will be as unstoppable as Zoltan at Megiddo. Plus, in compliance with our Peace to the World Including All Our Former Enemies Who Are Now Our Friends initiative, it won't kill anyone unless he dies laughing, but it will probably stun him if he's hit hard enough with it. And just because it's got a fearsome name doesn't mean we want anyone to be afraid of it, including our soldiers and airmen, and all the folks who go on ships that go underwater, but I can't remember right now what those ships are called.”
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The ZombieSlayer Mk 1 will be mass-produced through an exclusive 0bamanation contract with China by government-run industry and will be issued starting retroactively from 6 November 2012 as the only weapon available to the former-United States Armed Forces, to meet all current military weaponry sequestration goals.

All currently existing former-United States military weaponry will be sent to someone named "Vlad" as well as China for recycling into components to manufacture the ZombieSlayer Mk 1 in a cost-saving measure. China is said to have negotiated subcontracts with Iran and Iraq to assist in the recycling effort.

Former-United States military contracting companies were not permitted to available for comment.

Several high-ranking former-United States military commanders are currently under investigation by the 0bamaFed Bureau of Investigation for sex scandals and were also unavailable for comment.