The reactionary so called Faux News published an article about thing entities of the Global Warming Crisis. The article explains Global Warming is at fault for many of contemporary societies ills such as Cannibalism, to raising alcoholic beverage prices, to the extinction of mythical creatures, and to the extinction of Animal Documentary hosts.


Comrade Ted explains how Homo Sapien meat can substitute for the use of poultry products in buffalo wings.

Comrade Ban Ki-Moon of New World Order UN (Useless Negotiation) asserted Global Warming is the direct cuase of the Darfur conflict and the the lack of his personal media coverage and his inability to parellel park. Of course, it has nothing to do with the historical conflict between Arab Muslims and native Africans to Middle Ages or hood Jihadists pillaging villages. (It is probably the Zionist entity's fault anyway).

Unfortunately, the once progressive state of Wisconsin has now yielded a host of reich wing deniers.

Comrade Hasan:

Thank you for a very entertaining/informative blog.

But to be on the safe side we should continue to support the Party's Global Warming™ initiative from every conceivable angle so as to be able to wring as much hysteria out of it as possible before it becomes a true nun sequitur and Gore becomes a non-person.

Our agents in the MSM (Ministry of MiS Information Mission) and the UN (Useless Negotiation as you so elegantly put it) are working diligently towards this end.

Also we should fully endorse the “Al Gore Rectal Global Warming Thermometer” or
other wise known as the Goremometer (or Gore-Coremometer). This useful device far
out-performs any ordinary anal probe. Not only can it track your personal temperature as it contributes to the warming of the planet but can also keep records of your carbon and methane emissions. It acts as a wide band receiver and can receive command transmissions from the Party. Ergo the term: “they pulled that thought right out of their ass.” The durable plastic coating is completely Gerbil proof as an added bonus.

Nice to see Faux News finally on our side by espousing the perils of Climate Change Catastrophe Panic (CCCP)! Today, everyone should hold their breath for 60 seconds to reduce their personal carbon emissions. And Comrades, when I say "should" I mean MUST!

Comrades,

Thank you for this instruction, for I cannot view Faux News in my East Asian workers' utopia, not that I would were I to have a chance, you sympathize.

By Fidel's beard, we are lucky to have Ted Turner, especially when he's a comic superhero kicking butt and taking no prisoners as Captain Planet.