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2 Minutes Hate: Bobby Jindal

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ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT

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Comrades! It is now required for all The People™ to immediately denounce Bobby Jindal and to boycott everything Louisiana. The vicious words of this individual and the hurtful rhetoric this oppressor has pronounced today, has made a bid to retard the inevitable and deserving Election™ of the glorious leader Hillary who will bring us to the glory of Next Tuesday™.

Directives have come down from the minitrue that all persons hearing, reading or having thoughts other than those prescribed, are to remand themselves to the nearest Joycamp™.

After you have finished denouncing Cruz, Rubio and Trump, you MUST immediately begin denouncing and feverishly opposing this new threat to our collective. We cannot allow a fake Muslim-looking immigrant to ruin our future.

All hail the deserving and inevitable future leader of Next Tuesday's prosperity, President Clinton! Image. (I'm voting for a vagina in 2016)

Image After just watching Mr. Jindal offer his statements on joining the run for president, I feel confident in his ability, as he has not only spoken about issues I believe are important (borders, schools and debt), but has lead the way in his stewardship as governor of Louisiana. I still have great love for Dr. Carson, but am pleased by what Gov. Jindal talked about today. I understand it's all crap-shoot at this point, but I enjoyed knowing where Booby's positions and plans are for bringing America back to where it should be.

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After reading this I feel to pressured to keep my hate to only 2 minutes. I could go on for hours, Comrade.


Tomorrow I shall buy a big bag of crawdads and two years' supply of Tabasco.

New Orleans still sucketh mightily, though; yea, even unto the seventh generation and the descendants thereof.

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I'm going further than that, comrades. I'm denouncing the Mississippi River! This capitalist, racist body of water works day and night to provide the capitalist pigs means to spread their disease from the Gulf of Mexico to the People's Republic of Minnesota! Without the river, Bobby Jindal and his ilk will be unable to jeopardize our glorious revolution! Down with the river!

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I too denounce the Mississippi River on the additional charge of gender discrimination. For decades it has referred to itself as "Ole Man River," a clear and stinging slap in the face of gender equality. I demand that in the future the river be referred to as "Ole Person River." (This is not to be confused with Ole Persson of Hjammerlangersfijord Norway.)


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I denounce the Mississippi for having more than its Fair Share™ of consonants.

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Our helmted kitty-comrade has a point, and furthermore, the selfish offending river (whose name I shall not mention) is EXCLUSIONARY and marginalizes all other vowels except "i".


 
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