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A date for Commissarka Pinkie found on ShovelHarmony.com

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While searching ShovelHarmony.com (for the articles, of course) I found this esteemed comrade, who, I think can finally be a stable soulmate for our Commissarka Pinkie, without running away screaming like the rest of those losers she ever went on a date with.

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Unfortunately, I didn't save his profile. If anyone can locate this comrade's personal details and interests, please post them here with the picture.

If you also frequent ShovelHarmony.com (for the articles), perhaps you could share your relevant findings here as well. The kollektive will be sufficiently grateful.

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Such an equal beard, more equal than most. GRRRRRRRRR

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"Lonely philosopher seeks only serious prospects please. I am a white male, 195, occasionally editing a paper and delivering lectures on my own brand of progressivism. I live on my friend Friedrich's couch, so I hope you have your own place. You are a working class white female, between 12 and 22, uneducated, impressionable, with your own apartment. Call soon so we can Unite!"

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If anyone can locate this comrade's personal details and interests, please post them here with the picture.

Glorious Party Chairman and General Secretary who is guiding us to the World of Next Tuesday,

I believe even more details may soon be forthcoming to add to what Comrade Kelly Ivanovna has been able to ferret out. The People's Navy NCIS unit also believes the gentleman may have lost a recent purchase of his that was recently placed in the Party lost and found box.

We are now dusting it for prints and DNA.

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I don't hold out much hope for this one, Red Square. He doesn't even have a hat, much less a red one.

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Comrade dear Leader RS, I am sad to report I could not locate Profile of handsome comrade. He does seem familiar so I am hoping I might run across his # in my personal Black Book (this is not racist!!) or diary, in which case I will forward said # to your personal, private top secret email address, which I do not have.

After reading many articles, I did find this delightful, serious minded Progressive, which some loyal comrade might be interested in 'dating'?

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Red Square wrote:
Unfortunately, I didn't save his profile. If anyone can locate this comrade's personal details and interests, please post them here with the picture.


You didn't save his profile?!?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DIDN'T SAVE HIS PROFILE?

My first date in over a year--or at least he could be my first date in over a year--and you don't save his profile or even FORWARD it to me!

Looks like someone needs whacking with my shovel. And since I can't whack Red Square, it'll have to be a proxy--the person nearest to me. Oh, not Fraulein--she's holding up The People's Cube and I can't risk hitting that.

That leaves...BETINOV! Heads up, Whacking Brain!

WHACK!!!

Meanwhile, I've tried to join ShovelHarmony so I can shop for dates, but I can't even set up an account, and I keep getting error messages.

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Pinkie has been longing for manly companionship all this time?
No wonder she's been so crabby...

That also explains the "catch-me-do-me" babushka.

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The suave looking guy with the shovel looks a lot like Comrade Scratchanitch, yet scratch's hairdo is much more GQ.

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Dammit, Pinkie! I didn't do anything this time! I didn't point out that he's to old for you, didn't point out he might be jealous of your moustache, and I didn't even suggest that he might be looking for someone a bit more...dainty (he is a European, you know). All I did was state an observable fact, that he wasn't wearing a hat. Why don't you go whack Tovarchi? He's always lurking out behind the tractor shed when you take off the babushka to wash your hair in the horse trough every month!

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Red Walrus wrote:The suave looking guy with the shovel looks a lot like Comrade Scratchanitch, yet scratch's hairdo is much more GQ.
Comrade Red Walrus- I don't know if I am complemented or insulted. It depends on what "GQ" means.

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Commodore - the only acceptable revolutionary beard product is the Party-approved gulag hand-made Communist "Troika" Beard Care Gloss :

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In fact, you may remember our intimate conversation three years ago, in which you produced a can of Gentleman's Beard Care Gloss from under your trenchcoat, and I countered it with this:

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Good times, good times...

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Why...did...the commodore....have a can...of ...beard wax...under his...under his.... No. I cannot finish the thought that completes the question.

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Commodore - the only acceptable revolutionary beard product is the Party-approved gulag hand-made Communist "Troika" Beard Care Gloss :

Glorious Chairman,

Rest assured that when I am finally able to grow the whiskers that the grooming product will always be the official Party approved and endorsed item!!!

Why...did...the commodore....have a can...of ...beard wax...under his...under his.... No. I cannot finish the thought that completes the question.

Comrade Betinov,

Ummm....errr...It all depends on what 'is' actually 'is' and umm...If your happy with your plan you can keep your plan...and....Oh looky, it's Squirrels with light sabers!!!!!

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I suppose our Peoples Security Agency must know where this man is. Shall I petition our dear leader to find him?

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(Still ducking to avoid Pinkie's shovel....whew, that was a close one!!!)

Comrade Square, it appears that Comrade Engels, perhaps to buy groceries to replace the ones Pinkie's (potential) date has scarfed, is selling just the stuff needed to make him even more attractive. Or at least, to make his beard more attractive,


 
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