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A marvel of Soviet era engineering

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Comrades, I give you the Frania washing machine. Built like a T62 tank out of what appears to be a recycled hazardous waste drum, the Frania was as durable as it was cutting edge in it's ergonomic design and efficiency.

Unlike those decadent Western models that require plumbing the Frania was the first "green" washing machine ever conceived. Filling it was as easy as chopping some ice, melting it on the stove and dumping it into the drum along with some soap. Draining the drum was just as easy as running a garden hose out the back door of your dacha and opening the drain valve conveniently located at the bottom.

And no need for un-necessary power wasting spin cycles, the Frania came complete with a crank powered wringer (watch those tits girls).

No Western style washing machine uses less electricity or water. The Frania was beloved by a generation of Russian house wives and as proof, it's still being manufactured for a new generation of Russian wives nostalgic for the good old days.

You have to wonder why GE can't make a similar model as part of it's heroic effort to kiss Obama's ass promote green energy solutions.

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Comrade, this must also be used with the People's Soap(tm). It is wasteful to buy washing powders or liquids at the local collective store; instead you must make them from animal fat which you saved, lye, and ash. You will have to make the difficult choice of either feeding your family with the beef tallow or having a clean family, but after a while you realize that you just can't take the stink any more.

And anyway, having children is bad for the planet, so it's better to use the tallow to make soap. You'll need ash too. You can solve the problem of getting the proper ash and tallow by rendering up that extra child and then burning the bits that you don't need.

If you use the Frania with homemade People's Soap(tm) you will receive a personal visit from the Goreacle, who will eat everything that you have and destroy your house.

What an honor.

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Ah yes, nostalgia for the good old days may well make the Frania a classic. And don't forget, in the winter, after wringing out the clothing, you can hang it on a line, and once the clothing stiffens, you may also get a few icicles as a bonus. Just break off the icicles and give them to the child you have left as a substitute for the tallow you used to make the soap. Yum.

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And you can use the bones to make fine china. Every comrade has a right to fine bone china.

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And the skin for stretching over the top of a bongo drum.


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The question is how does one get Comrade Interesting Legs there? The wash machine is easy. I want what's on top of it. And then to be on top of her. I'll watch her bicycle any day of the week!

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For starters, I would expect you'd better have a good quality Frania on that boat of yours. She seems to be awfully attached to it.

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I understand Algore has one of these. The People's genius has made a slight modification; in order to turn the crank, he simply fires up his private jet and lets the blast of exhaust from the engines do the hard work for him! This is the kind of thinking that has made him a national treasure.

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Ahhhh Comrades what a wonderful invention, I am sure the Gorical can take credit for this modern marvel.

Oh Grand Idea, Kind and Generous leader, Turning these little environment damaging monsters in to soap, to keep from offending Comrade Reid's sensitive olfactory senses. I feel so strongly about this I have decided to strive to be the environmental Commissar, Or perhaps "The Green Comrade". Yes I could ride around in my Hemi Challenger, errrrr My Trabant shouting the wonders of sacrifice, and the sin of a decadent living.

Of course us made progressives will turn our thermostats up to 80 while the proles walk by shivering. And we can make fun of them. Ahhh what a good time it will be Comrades!!!! Yes we will have extra petite Marsh mellows in our Coco, and the Proles can watch us. Like John Goodmans Family at dinner...

The fun we will have comrades........


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of kicking doors at midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter.
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

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Red Star wrote:Ahhhh Comrades what a wonderful invention, I am sure the Gorical can take credit for this modern marvel.
It has his fingerprints all over it.

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Red Star, why not open a Green Room in the Hemlock Hospitality restaurants? We can serve up only organically grown proles. I'll feed them on stewed greasewood and mesquite beans.

And Leninka, that saxophonist--do you realize that he was playing "Tico tico"? When Bruno heard that he threw himself on the floor sobbing, "Theocritus! That's <i>my</i> song! And he didn't use the castanets!"

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7.62, and the Goracle also insists that his limo be kept idling lest he get hot or cold. What a man!

Nansky Belly Boobs Peloski also lets her 757 do all the work for her:
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After all, it's so hard for her doing the heavy lifting of destroying the American economy. She needs the rest.


 
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