Judge!

.Of most beautiful Judge Leninka of the most esteemy lineage of the Claudius! Commodore Woogums is not a truth teller.

Slander directed at a High Party Official! Please Add it to her growing list of crimes you can also add that she is a real crappy driver.

I see Mrs Al Czarweary and others have been shopping at a "First Hand Store," and there is a cherry in her Martini. It's the cherry that got to me, not the rest, although I notice that she is also getting herself a manicure, by none other than Lajuanda, the pedicurist to Comrade O's left foot. You know, Comrade Al Czarweary, while you're in there, you might as well get yourself a perm. Straight hair isn't going to be in style forever, you know. The day of Lucy and Ricky are coming back, or they ought to be, I'll say, as Kruschev was a might better than Dear Stalin, and even went so far as to admit to Stalin's propensity to binge and purge, but I digress.

Where was I? Back to Comrade Whoopie, incriminating his own client. What kind of defense lawyer are you? Has not Mrs Al Czarweary given you enough of a retainer? Better ask her for more, more, more, ahh, that's good.

Really, Comrade Whoopie, don't you have any purposeful defense for poor little bearded Mrs Al Czarweary?

Again, Comrade Snoogie just slips in to make an excuse for himself and then jumps ship headed for a harbor of imaginary redheads gyrating with the hoochie coochie fever.

What was that, Comrade Snoogie? Did we just post simultaneously? And here I just gave you a compliment. One more false move, and I'll deeem you in contempt of court. Where's my Nanski sized gavel. I have no gavel at all. What am supposed to use? A rolling pin?

What was that, Comrade Snoogie? Did we just post simultaneously? And here I just gave you a compliment. One more false move, and I'll deeem you in contempt of court. Where's my Nanski sized gavel. I have no gavel at all. What am supposed to use? A rolling pin?

Dearest Judge Leninka,

I have been busy examining the defense evidence previously submitted by Ms. Al. I am happy to report it is legit and worthy of presentation to the court for your due consideration. It is worth its weight in gold but was presented to the court in a most haphazard bulk condition. I have modified it to suit your needs. I hope you will look kindly and the modification.

Why, thank you Comrade Snoogie. That's the nicest thing anyone's done for me today.

Comrade Whoppie, you are an honor to the Party ™! To you belongs great recognition for your selfish and selfless dedication. In the corrupt Imperialistic system, one like you would recuse himself for receiving kick-backs and eat-backs (I discovered the decadent roast beef with gorious goat cheese). You secretly pattern your career path after the DOJ counsels who serve to the Glory of the Party ™ as Defender of the State then privately represent enemies of the State. How deceitfully brilliant!

Most honorable madame Judge, I know it appears as though I've lost my mind by submitting incriminating evidence. However I had no choice. Someone slipped into my office while I was gone and left an envelope on my desk. My natural inclination would be to burn the evidence but I feared it was a test, by you, of my loyalty to the court and the Party.

As soon as I'm feeling better I will go right to work refuting these damning pictures. Last night I was struck ill by something I ate. I just returned from visiting my client's cave where she was cooking up a tasty pot of camel hump and mushroom soup for the Fraulein. It smelled so good, I must confess when she wasn't looking a snuck a wee taste. I guess I must be allergic to the type of mushrooms she uses.

but... but.... but.... hmmmm.... Comrade Whoopie, you were of telling me that shopping and spa day was meaning for me to be of the relaxing of the nerves. You to be best Peoples Defender™ ever and of most considerating to such one as me who have been of being accuse of many bad behaviors. You have too been of under much distressing since start of show trial. Why should we not to be of doing the nerve calming? I have been of under intense weight loss program, teaching dummies foster childrens of husband on how to make clock ticking devices, overseeing of so many underwives, then there the terrible videos Commodore Woogums to have been sneeking from peeking in my drawers and to be putting on display such as love video to me from husband and now my bad driving experience, Fraulein keeping to be saying I am of being shopoholic hairless pussy and then I to be of making the big feast that Comrade Castrate accuse I invite big party member when it only the long Italian bread I am not so good at baking as my country peoples only used to the baking of the flat bread.... so much of the distresses I am of course due the relaxing time. And so you too, Comrade Whoopie, for you to being of defense lawyer of one such as me that you are to make the clearing of.

We did to have enjoy such a nice day, no?


It is of most certainty that the most glorious of all the judges that to ever be of judging the Show Trials™, the most beautiful of all light skinned womens of African descent who to be of ancestering of the great Claudius, Judge Leninka, will be of understanding the needing of making for client to be of little bit relaxing so to have the energies to be of continuing with such trial.

And please in future be of awareness as to what be in cooking pots. If you to see camel humps that is the womens food. How you to not see the camels humping in pot is of mystery to me. It is of most fortunateness that you only to get the little stomache ache and not to be of growing the man boobs. I to shudder at such terrible image.

Most honorable madame Judge, I know it appears as though I've lost my mind by submitting incriminating evidence. However I had no choice. Someone slipped into my office while I was gone and left an envelope on my desk. My natural inclination would be to burn the evidence but I feared it was a test, by you, of my loyalty to the court and the Party.

As soon as I'm feeling better I will go right to work refuting these damning pictures. Last night I was struck ill by something I ate. I just returned from visiting my client's cave where she was cooking up a tasty pot of camel hump and mushroom soup for the Fraulein. It smelled so good, I must confess when she wasn't looking I snuck a wee taste. I guess I must be allergic to the type of mushrooms she uses.

Comrade Karkof,

Your third person sniping from the sidelines at me may well earn you a place as Mrs Al Czarweary's helpmate in her new gulag. As she is the first wife of a long line of many, she is used to wielding power and delegating all duties, and since you would be at the end of that line, your duties would be of the most unsavory kind, if you get my drift. Shall we say that you may be turned into Mrs Al Czarweary's left hand?

Comrade Whoopie,

Your apology is accepted. I can believe the mushroom story, considering it's Mrs Al Czarweary.

Note to Fraulein Pulloskies:

Are you up to being the prosecuting attorney in this case? You can see that Comrade Whoopie has gotten his roles mixed up, having to go back and forth between telling lies for the prosecution, as well as lies for the defense.

P.S. Sorry about that accusation about your having a third breast. I was just joking.

Comrade Whoopie,

Being a descendant of Claudius, it's taken me until now to realize that you may have been acting as the prosecuting attorney when you brought forth that incriminating evidence against Mrs Al Czarweary. If so, please disregard any reprimands, and count yourself included for 50% of all bribes.

Leninka wrote:Comrade Whoopie,

count yourself included for 50% of all bribes.

Oooo, many thanks your solemn Judgeship and most legal rectitude. After conferring with my client whose own testimony has been lost due to an unfortunate hiccup with the text editor in this blog (I suspect our glorious Chairman was making some adjustments) she reminded me that I was the one who suggested she go get herself a make over and some new clothing so she would look fresh and presentable in this court. And I may add that none of the People's money was spent for this. All the money came from Dear Leader's stimulus Bill (aka: his personal stash).

I'm seeking the person or persons responsible for these anonymous disclosures of evidence against my client. I have an artist's rendition of a suspicious person seen lurking outside my office just before I found the envelope containing those pictures. If anyone has any information leading to his capture, please notify the court at once.

Madame Judge, I found Mrs. Al Czarweary's testimony. Apparently it fell into a worm hole that someone carelessly left lying around.
-Whoopie

but... but.... but.... hmmmm.... Comrade Whoopie, you were of telling me that shopping and spa day was meaning for me to be of the relaxing of the nerves. You to be best Peoples Defender™ ever and of most considerating to such one as me who have been of being accuse of many bad behaviors. You have too been of under much distressing since start of show trial. Why should we not to be of doing the nerve calming? I have been of under intense weight loss program, teaching dummies foster childrens of husband on how to make clock ticking devices, overseeing of so many underwives, then there the terrible videos Commodore Woogums to have been sneeking from peeking in my drawers and to be putting on display such as love video to me from husband and now my bad driving experience, Fraulein keeping to be saying I am of being shopoholic hairless pussy and then I to be of making the big feast that Comrade Castrate accuse I invite big party member when it only the long Italian bread I am not so good at baking as my country peoples only used to the baking of the flat bread.... so much of the distresses I am of course due the relaxing time. And so you too, Comrade Whoopie, for you to being of defense lawyer of one such as me that you are to make the clearing of.

We did to have enjoy such a nice day, no?
And please in future be of awareness as to what be in cooking pots. If you to see camel humps that is the womens food. How you to not see the camels humping in pot is of mystery to me. It is of most fortunateness that you only to get the little stomache ache and not to be of growing the man boobs. I to shudder at such terrible image.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Judge!

.Of most beautiful Judge Leninka of the most esteemy lineage of the Claudius! Commodore Woogums is not a truth teller.

Slander directed at a High Party Official! Please Add it to her growing list of crimes you can also add that she is a real crappy driver.

But a superb poppy harvestress!

Comrades I confess that I have been caught Red ™handed it appears in the subversion with Mrs. Al Czarweary. Through no malicious intent, my words of honor and respect to the Party were wrested from me by sleight of hand job and redistributed to the Mrs. Al. I now know why I must remain in re Education Camp so as to learn how to freely give all my possessions both material and intellectual to the Collective. I had been in fear for my life since the greatness of the Showtrial has begun and now what I had feared has come upon me. I worry that I am not shovel-ready yet I bow my brow low with my face toward the Kremlin in shame and repentance.

Of most beautiful Judge Leninka of the most esteemy lineage of the Claudius

Comrade Leninka, your remarkable esteemy likeness of the linage of Claudius is a glory to the Party.

I see you are of quick re-education material, Comrade Karkof, but now I see you were not completely to blame. Upon re-reading the bottom section of your post, I realized that this is the work of none other than Mrs Al Czarweary, herself, who is attempting to incriminate even her own defense lawyer.

Very clever, Mrs. Al Czarweary (to incriminate both the prosecutor and the defense attorney in the person of Comrade Whoopie) but it will only add to your charges. Remember, I am the descendant of Claudius, so even if you found a mountain of evidence against anyone of my liking, it could boomerang on you.

Most loyal comrade Infidel Castrate, (btw, is that short for Castrated? I knew an Ima Bin Castrated many years ago. Lovely family... although most small)
That is not my coiffure but my head ornamentation (which you'd know if you kept up better with the goins on)..., but it is lovely to see great cousin 'Frankie'. He always had the most interesting hair do, do did he not? Although a strange fellow with odd eating habits.

Comrade Whoopie!!! What a glorious find you have found, which most assuredly convicts your guilty til proven innocent til proven guilty, client, does it not?! I think we should send her on the the gallows gulags and go get some more yummies to eat. Show trials do bring out the appetite.

Great Stalin's Ghost,

Feasts, Shopping sprees, massages what a display of kapitalisssst decadence by the Defendant and her cheesy defense lawyer.

It is obvious that Ms. Al is guilty and it is obvious that her defense lawyer is equally guilty and in serious cahoots with his client in crimes against the progressive state. Obvious......hum..... dang that reminds me I have to make a phone call to my favorite radio show. Be back later I need some serious advice on a different matter right now.

Commodore Woogums, No more beer for you! We have a trail to prepare for unless Mrs. Al will do us the favor of a guilty plea and stop the wastefulness of time.

Only three beers, and then passed out? Shameful!

I counted four, Colonel ... but I'm ready for correction if my eyes aren't seeing what they think they see and not what is there. Let me know.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Great Stalin's Ghost,
what a display of kapitalisssst decadence by the Defendant and her cheesy defense lawyer.

Madame Judge I object! I resent the use of the pejorative term "Lawyer" in describing me.

Comrade Whoopie,

What shall we call you then, an attorney, an ambidextrous purveyor of whatever current truth suits him, a legal eagle, or a a gentleman of a judicial turn?

I see that all this squabbling won't stop until I set foot in here. All right, fellow progs. Here is your future.

Mrs. Al Czarweary will be tried. She will be convicted. Screw the defense, screw the prosecutor, screw the judge. I, Commissar Theocritus, am an Uberhauptoberprog, and a big one too--did you know that I'm the world's biggest prick prog?

And I, as an Uberhauptoberprog, declare that Mrs. Al Czarweary's prosecutor will be a parrot. Her defense attorney will be Keith Olbermann, and the judge will be a wrinkled beet of Pinkie's choosing.

But I also decree that the verdict will be guilty.

I have spoken. For the people of course. I would never do anything for myself alone.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I see that all this squabbling won't stop until I set foot in here. All right, fellow progs. Here is your future.

Mrs. Al Czarweary will be tried. She will be convicted. Screw the defense, screw the prosecutor, screw the judge. I, Commissar Theocritus, am an Uberhauptoberprog, and a big one too--did you know that I'm the world's biggest prick prog?

And I, as an Uberhauptoberprog, declare that Mrs. Al Czarweary's prosecutor will be a parrot. Her defense attorney will be Keith Olbermann, and the judge will be a wrinkled beet of Pinkie's choosing.

But I also decree that the verdict will be guilty.

I have spoken. For the people of course. I would never do anything for myself alone.

HERE HERE!! Let's here it for the big prick prog! A second that! Now, is it time for snacks and vodka?!! (that should have been a declarative sentence)
I make a toast to the big prick Prog! There's not pric... Prog like our Prog!!

Comrade Theocritus,

Well, well. I see you have finally graced us with your appearance. Where have you beeen! You stay aloof and away and then you come prancing your gay uberhauptoberprog self in here and proclaim Mrs Al Czarweary's prosecutor to be a parrot. May I presume that it is going to be your hand up the parrot's ass? Hmmf.

Leninka wrote:Comrade Whoopie,

What shall we call you then, an attorney, an ambidextrous purveyor of whatever current truth suits him, a legal eagle, or a a gentleman of a judicial turn?

Well it strikes me madame Judge that lawyers never actually call themselves that. They always call themselves attorneys (district attorney, defense attorney, attorney at law, etc). Everyone hates lawyers, but everyone needs a good attorney. Lawyers make their money off the law like sawyers make their money off trees. It's exploitative. Attorneys are more like ministers of the law, a noble holy profession.

Theo, your prejudical indictment of my client shows a disdain for this honorable court and due process. If I didn't know any better I'd think you have a hankerin' to be appointed the Persecutor Prosecutor.

And has anyone seen my client lately? Ever since her testimony fell into a wormhole and was temporarily lost, she's gone missing. Your honor, I fear for her safety. There is a devious plot afoot and I suspect that the Fraulein and Snoogie know more than they are willing to admit.

WWPMD (What Would Perry Mason Do?)

I am of being here my best Defense ATTORNEY ever!! I was just to be of gaining information of how to be of good Show Trialness accused person so I was of watching the great Show Trial™ of the Archangel Jibrail or as some to be knowing him as Gabriel...

I to tell the story. As so many are must to be of knowing it to be Archangel Gabriel who to be revealing of the sacred text to the One (the other One of my country peoples – not Dear Leader) the one who shall not be named who is also of responsibility for making all the laws of the Sharia for my country peoples. Here is foto of them to be talking of how beautiful and young the soon to be child bride Aisha of the One who shall not to be named is.


Then suddenly I to hear that there to be visualization movie of the great Battle of the Archangel Gabriel of his fight with much lower than him angels.

So I to be searching all over to find such visual representation and could not but then as they to say… Lo and Behold!… It to be appearing on the television right after the Mr Red (a show all about how the noble horse race is being of discrimination against by bigotted Wilbur who always wants to be of riding him into the ground and to be wanting to make the glue with Mr Red) so I know I must to watch because Archangel Gabriel to be of such importance to my peoples.

As I to be watching I was of much fear-edness when ever he to be of showing face for he to be of such mighty powers. I must also to be of noting he was of looking very much like the actor man Christopher Walker and I to find that of the very unsettling kind because he to have the strange look in the eye. ALA ZEG! Each of every time he to show his being I to shudder and hide my face with the burkha.

I to make of notation that Archangel Gabriel was to have companion of the Zombie Peoples™ so was of knowing that he to be in the good company of the Dear Leader Obeyme peoples. It was to be making for the best of visualization representations known to all the peoples for the Archangel Gabriel to be with the loyal comrades.

The Archangel Gabriel is to be looking for the person who has been of stealing the Soul of All Mankind. It is of most terribleness that there to be such a person that would do this thing and Archangel Gabriel is such devoted warrior he is wanting to be the one to take it back. He had been sending another angel to be of helping to finding soul stealing man but that angel not very good at doing such duties – much like underwives not of much good at doing many chores they are to be of doing so I am of most understanding of this problem – and he to be somehow deadened by a car.

I was at the first being of the head scratching damn lice beauty parlor peoples not of knowing how to take them off the hairs when I to see many of the Native American peoples and I am not of good understanding why they to be of part of show but maybe it because they could not to be of finding my country peoples because of the evil BusHitler has been of making for the war against all the freedom fighting peoples and sending them into the hiding.

But then I to be of understanding that they were of the choosing because they are the peoples of the Red color and so it to make for much sense. As they to say, better red than dead. And also the red peoples to be one more of the underclasses of the evil empire of the Arizona where the Show Trial™ of Archangel Gabriel visual movie is to be taking place so it is fitting they to be part of freedom of the soul fighting.

Many part of the show was not too good for me to be of understanding but nearing the ending the most fearfilling Lucifer to make appearance. I must be of admittance that they to be of finding the very good looking Lucifer and I to be of better understanding why so many of the womens listen to his evilnes and not to wear the modest clothing so make for the many earthquakes all around the world. His goodlookingness makes for a bit of the quaking in me too.


But Lucifer is to be of so much stoopidness he is not understanding why the soul stealer should to deadened and he tries to make for the Show Trial™ fight against the Archangel Gabriel. Archangel Gabriel is much the more of the smartness of them and is to trick the vile Lucifer into the eating of the heart of Archangel Gabriel so that the Lucifer will be of goodness again.

Once this to be happened, all the world is saved and peace is to be descending upon the Arizona. The evil racist governor Brewer is to be ripping up the illegal law she was of signing that is for the banning of the illegal Mexican immigrants and made to be keeping them from the eating of the ice cream and the La Raza peoples get to keep their skool book teachings in the skools. The underclass is now of many justice ways and they to not only have their land back along with the red peoples but all the OPM they to be of liking to have.

The end.

It was being a most exciting Show Trail™ of the Archangel. In end all is becoming of goodness. And I know of little bit more of the understanding that my Show Trial™ is just like that of the Archangel Gabriel. I am to be strong like Archangel Gabriel and to submit for such justices so all to know I am good and worthy Prog and not of the kapitalist dog (p*g is haraam) type of peoples.

I am almost of readiness to have the heart of mine to be eaten out. I am only of ObamaHope that it is not of too much of the hurting kind.

I see you are begging for the mercy of the court, Mrs Al Czarweary. Now, I'm not particularly given to show you mercy, but I do think it would be a good idea to put the rest of us out of our misery.

Here's the deal:

After serving as my hand maiden for three days at an all expense paid resort vacation, you will be free to do as you wish.

Anyone who participated in this trial will be invited to go along.

That means that anyone who didn't bother to show up will stay back here at the gulag, and toil in the beet fields--you know who you are--you are so put off by Mrs Al Czarweary's beard and funny way of talking that you saw yourself as being above participating in this trial--so be it--the rest of us will be laughing all the way to the bank.

How does a trip to the Virgin Islands sound? Good? Okay, everyone, pack your bags, we're taking a trip.

I hereby declare the People's case against Mrs Al Czarweary closed!

Arrivederci!

*sighs, and opens up drunken wormhole that hopefully deposits the major court players in the US Virgin Islands* (although I wouldn't mind seeing Mrs. Alczarweary through one of those new airport scanners).

SEPARATION OF CHURCH'N STATE! SEPARATION OF CHURCH'N STATE!!

oh, you stay the Virgin Islands?

I just love a good end to a trail.

Is that to be 72 Virgin Islands? I am of ObamaHope we not to have to be of blowing up our selfs to get there!

YEAH!! Show Trail over.... now you must to tell me what I won, please.

Mrs. Al Czarweary, we are pleased to announce that you will be volunteering to speak with *Obama Approved Freedom of Speech ™ while in the People Cube ™ !

You are also allowed to retain your ability to *"kiss butt" when appropriate (which is all the time).

Judge Leninka has announced a trip to the People Cube Virginic Island! Is a most glorious place! (don't forget to bring Misha)

*as long as your 'free speech' is acceptable to dear Leader and all his minions of minions and the glorious collective in the Cube. Any unwarranted 'free speech' will be quickly and thoroughly Denounce.
*you have no need to "kiss butt" of other proles or trolls. It is completely your responsible to find out and decipher who from who.

OMG! I won a case. A show trial that didn't end in a firing squad. Is that a Cube first or what?

Lemme grab my swimmin' trunks and pack a bag.

Glorious Solicitor Whoopie, many congratulations! It must be most impressive to have finally won a case. (although, I, personally, was looking forward to a firing squad. oh hummm)

I am in eager anticipation of our Island trip to Cube paradise ™ (as if it could get any better than the Gulag, huh!) And I must say, you are looking most spiffy. Dare I admit blushing?

Comrade Whoopie, I must to tell you so much of the thanks for being the BEST DEFENSE ATTORNEY EVUH!!

Now all the peoples who to have the Show Trial ™ will be of want for you to be of defending them. Especially if you to be of wearing such trunks.

Fraulein, it is now very much safe for you to have visit with me in cave. I to have been of the making of cake. Also any other to have been of Show Trial™ can be of invitation. After much of the feasting then we to all to go for much enjoyment at the Cube Island and more of the feasting.

What a glorious cubical cake, dear Comrade Mrs. Al. I am most impressed with such an offering... we have enjoy munchies while enjoying side show of Comrade Whoppie, who is also a much deductible munchie, is he not?!

Many thanks ladies. And to all you slackers who shirked your duties during the show trial I just want you all to see what you'll be missing. While you toil in the beet fields we'll be relaxing on the beach.

Moose Move ofer Snoogie... you rant... you can't hag... hog all da vokda voaka vokk vodak.....


damn

Comrade Whoopie wrote:OMG! I won a case. A show trial that didn't end in a firing squad. Is that a Cube first or what?

Lemme grab my swimmin' trunks and pack a bag.

Aren't you jumping ahead of yourself there? Winning is taking away from society, or have you forgotten the most common principle by which all progressives live?

Competition is a barbaric, insensitive
ritual that reeks of social Darwinism.
We cannot allow the fittest to survive
on our pages. Your loss is someone
else's gain, and your gain is someone
else's loss. Therefore, losers contribute
to the society and winners take away
from it. Being a winner is unethical,
while a society of losers is happy and
striving as a collective. In the spirit of
diversity, inclusiveness, and collectivism
our contests shall have no winners.
Everyone is declared a loser, which in our
book means an ethical team player.

Most dar dear Colonel 7.62 I thunk ...think you hav.. out talkeded talk ..ed your vay ...way to da izlands. ooops see daddie for you.

Mo ... More voda... voks..... vokad v... more dinks waytor!

Colonel 7.62 wrote:
Aren't you jumping ahead of yourself there? Winning is taking away from society, or have you forgotten the most common principle by which all progressives live?

I have made the supreme sacrifice Col. By winning this one case all of the People™ have been made losers. And by Red Square's politically correct reasoning, they now contribute to society in ways which only losers can. In one swell foop fell swoop I have made them all victims and in so doing increased the grasp of the ever grasping Party™

And now for the obligatory self denouncement "I denounce me for being a winner." So if you'll excuse me, I'm late for an important Party™ function down at the beach. We're roasting a capitalist pig (provided courtesy of the People's™ Hog Collective, Comrade Buffoon, First Secretary). Snoogie's gonna be making those tasty cocktails in a hollowed out pineapple with the little umbrella and the girls are in a frisky mood...they wanna rock my ushanka.

Hmmm suffering for the collective good? Sounds strangely selfless and noble of you. IS THIS THE REAL COMRADE WHOOPIE, OR DO WE HAVE AN IMPOSTER HERE?

Comrades,

What a relief it was to get out of my girdle, and land on a Virgin Island courtesy of Colonel 7.62's wormhole--thank you 7.62. Hadn't seen my own fat ass in a bikini since I can't remember when.

I had no idea Fraulein was so fond of the drink. We must remember this weakness for future manipulations.

Comrade Snoogie certainly looks like he's enjoying himself, but I wonder who he's drinking with? Someone must have gotten up to pee, and will return shortly.

Comrade Whoopie, that camera of yours certainly takes some wonderful photos. All the better to make those who didn't participate in the trial jealous. Although I must give credit to Comrade Theocritus for at least making an appearance--better late than never.

Oh, and I think we all need to give Comrade Whoopie a big hand for handling both the prosecution and the defense of a most troublesome case.

Mrs Al Czarweary, can you please bring me another Cuba Libre, no, that would be heretical, how about a Daiquiri? And bring a couple extra bath towels, too.

Whoopie wrote:Theo, your prejudical indictment of my client shows a disdain for this honorable court and due process. If I didn't know any better I'd think you have a hankerin' to be appointed the Persecutor Prosecutor.

Just what do you think that you're doing? I'm going to puff out my chest and show my prog cred here. That's like street cred except worse. You don't use a knife or a gun, just a law degree and a Congress. It's brutal.

I'm the prog with the big swingin' dique here, folks. If I want to undermine the seriousness of the court, I shall do so. And just why do you think that a court should be intrinsically serious anyway? Have you never heard the word, "kangaroo"? Uncle Joe would be very disappointed in you.

All this bit of cavorting on foreign beeches is fine. But let me remind you. It does nothing to further the conviction, er, pardon, cough, cough, justice for Mrs. Al Czarweary.

All right, fellow progs. Haul your asses out of those fancy places and get back to the kangaroo court room. Do you think that we have forever? There are other show trials and people to frame.

Shag ass!

Maybe not so yet, Commissar Theocritus. It good to be relaxing on beach.

Leninka, you say to bring towels, but all I can to find are these two towel head. Is this to be good?

.

Mrs Al Czarweary,

I see you are familiar with a certain custom Amerikkan womyn have: once out of the country, they behave like sluts. At home, they are careful where they whore around, but on foreign soil, they'll screw on a hotel staircase in the the middle of foot traffic.

Those towels will do just fine.

Comrade Theocritus,

That we ended up on the beach, is simply a result of the court having place the power in my hands. Now, I ask you: what exactly would you bring to the party, if you were the judge?

Leninka wrote:Mrs Al Czarweary,

I see you are familiar with a certain custom Amerikkan womyn have: once out of the country, they behave like sluts. At home, they are careful where they whore around, but on foreign soil, they'll screw on a hotel staircase in the the middle of foot traffic.

I have deniable plausibility!! There are nomore photographs!! I demand an apology!

oh!, ha ha ha, I just jesting, as you must know. Please forget what was Please disregard the silly jest. My my what a lovely day, is it not?

I got one word for you girls....GAYDAR
(get some)

Or play it safe....Whoopie
(make some)

Are you saying that Mrs Al Czarweary, Fraulein, or I cannot tell the different between gay and not gay?

Leninka wrote:Are you saying that Mrs Al Czarweary, Fraulein, or I cannot tell the different between gay and not gay?

Surely you're not noticing a difference in "whoring around"? Isn't any perceived difference not to be noticed? Why, I never heard of such un-progressive talk. Whoring is simple whoring, regardless of who the whorer is, correct?

Of course, Fraulein, you are correct. Back in the gulag, no whoring goes on whatsoever.

Leninka wrote:Are you saying that Mrs Al Czarweary, Fraulein, or I cannot tell the different between gay and not gay?

I'm sayin' those guys Mrs. Al posted look like Barney Fwank and Elton John's pool boys.

Of course. You are right. We women prefer a man who looks like this:



Guess who this is.

hmmmm.... Comrade Whoopie, how you to know they to be of the gay type? Have you been in the... um... mmm... conference with them?

I to state that no matter of persuassion, OPM is of more persuassion and they to do whatever Comrade Judge Leninka is to be of asking them. semi OOK... I to know old 'gay' man who told me in his younger days every gay went every which way. Then, he says, the 'libruls' took over the whole gay issue and suddenly gays couldn't 'co-mingle' outside their own sex. He said he and his friends had to sneak occassional good times with the womens for fear of the persecution. He also couldn't stand the 'flaming gays' and thought they needed psychiatric help - which I found kinda funny. He said he and his friends would sit around and talk about the good old days when they were free to do as they please and lamented about the strict rules placed on the newbies to the scene by the progressives. Now this was the NY gay scene apparently, I don't know what 'rules' the old timey Texas gay men followed.

There's way too much information coming from the Island. Don't you know "what happens on Cube Island stays on Cube Island". My oh my!

Been trying to remember something about that Island........ Now I remember. That Island was used back in the 50's for nuclear testing. That's why we picked it up on the cheap. Not to worry though Comrades. I'm sure the radiation has subsided by now.

*That should get them back here Theocritus.

I'm just looking out for you gals, I don't want to see you all brokenhearted when you catch that "hunk" you had your eye on dancing the Lambada with another guy. Of course if that should happen, you can always work out your "frustrations" on me.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:I'm just looking out for you gals, I don't want to see you all brokenhearted when you catch that "hunk" you had your eye on dancing the Lambada with another guy. Of course if that should happen, you can always work out your "frustrations" on me.

OH, so are so right correct, comrade. There's nothing like being, how shall I say, disappointed in the product you admire in the widow, just to discover it's a ill fit.
Hunkedness is something best enjoyed from a distance. Real attraction is best defined by a bank account a true soul mate.

How Sheik, how Sheik indeed! Comrade Mrs. Al Czarweary all progged out! Does this prole do the Hokey Pokey?

"I got one word for you girls....GAYDAR." Yeah. Although my gaydar for dykes is a lot better than for men--go figure. Works the other way too.

Mrs. Al, I am an old-time Texas gay man although I did by no means cut up. Fifteen years ago I passed utterly without remark as a straight man, which I wanted to do. I act the same. But people's gaydar is getting a lot better now.

Back then the dangers were pretty big--that was one thing that you did NOT want getting out. But then you were accorded a cloak of invisibility in a way. I recall we would exit a hotel room with one bed one at a time but there was little reason to in 1980.

Lots of gays are, lamentably, liberal. But there is a strain of Texas gays who are libertarian/conservative to the core. We don't feel entitled to special treatment, and I fail to understand how people who by definition pay more taxes (no deductions save one) vote to give more of their money to the government which will make them miserable.

One of the things that I've been doing is trying to be more visible as a libertarian/conservative gay. This is so that normal conservatives won't (I hope) be afraid of gays, but also to let the newbies know that it's perfectly all right to have your parents' values and you don't have to be a moonbat in San Francisco.

Fraulein, Mrs. Al, if you want to post pictures of pretty boys who might not be interested, that's all well and good. But perhaps this young man would be more interested? Not much of a purchase for gaydar here, but still it's worth the view.

Freaking gulags, Theo, that's one BIG HONKUS BODACIOUS BUTTOCK.

CONSERVATIVE?! Say it ain't so, comrade! How can a dependable minority even consider leaning right!! Makes me shutter. Must be some coercion involved.

Comrade Theo

Since you are showing male butts here.

This man has a court order against him never to turn his back on the public.

Hmmmm, looks like the Michelin Man has competition.

My goodness, O, in the distance I hear Photoshop sweating. But since we are having fun wondering about people, let me introduce Jesse Garcia:And Jesse gives us even more with I would dearly love to meet the person, either model or photographer, or both, who has thus much sense of fun. This is as absurd as Richard Simmons doing fantasy football.

Comrade Theocritus,

You would like the manly/feminine types, now wouldn't you. Well, it beats the heck out of Dame Edna.

Ah the flamboyant drag queens. They appeal to no one but themselves. They mistake people laughing at them for adoration. And even amongst each other, they hate their attention seeking rivals. Such perfect Progs.

Damn Edna, what a lovely personage. She gives me remembrance of dear cousin Thelma.
Muscle man above seems a bit blown out of proportion (no pun intended). Freaky.

Obamugabe, I am to be seeing baseballs inside huge man's little black pants but no thing like a bat. Did he be of losing it?

Theo, my friend the gay I was of talking about was being of Rethuglikkkan persuasion. That may be of explaining some of his thinking and acting.

Mrs. Al, now that you tell me he was a Rethuglican, that all makes sense. I loathe the Rethuglicans. Do you know that some of them don't think that it's all about them? Can you believe that?

And here's something else. I hear that those awful Teabaggers don't even litter! That's right! And there are no broken windows! Now I ask you. How can you trust people who have a demonstration and don't even break someone else's property?

Whoopie, Dame Edna is the son-in-law of the English poet Stephen Spender, who has died. His long-time friend Paul Johnson said that Stephen was a lovely man who had to be taught how to dress by his son-in-law.

Personally I love Dame Edna. She first used the phrase Megastar. I think that we have a Megapresident, don't you? Lord Obozon is more than the president. He's { insert here all that shit that we say when we're fawning about the big Zip } the one that we can count on to bring America down to size. In fact the odious Charles Krauthammer says so.

Ahh Commissar, it is always being so good to read between all of the lines of the Karuthammer because we soon to find him to be for making the glowing reportage:

"It's the perfect fulfillment of Obama's adopted Third World narrative of American misdeeds, disrespect and domination from which he has come to redeem us and the world."

Even the Krauthammer is knowing that Obowmao is perfect fullfillment of Kenyan prophesy, that Amerikkka is guilty of misdeed, disrespect and domination, and that Dear Leader is redeemer of all the peoples everywhere. Krauthammer is not being afraid to write such truths for all to be reading.

I am also liking this foto from Krauthammer feature article of Ahmadinajad doing the Hokey-Pokey with the boy from Brazil and the mad Turk


Put your left foot in, put your left foot out
Put your left foot in and shake it all about....

I think when Krauthammer (What the hell kinda name is that anyway? And what's a kraut hammer? Who makes sauerkraut by smashing the cabbage with a mallet? That comic Gallagher?) anyway...where was I...Oh yes, when Cabbagewhacker speaks of US misdeeds and domination that's conservative codespeak for "keeping the peace." He wants us to believe that all these little thirdworld tyrannies resent the fact that America held them in check. Well, now Obama is taking America's big boot off their necks and they're finally free to pursue their ambitions. The old idea of global spheres of influence (aka: colonialism) is over. And if hundreds of little wars ignite and embroil the planet in yet another world war, isn't that better than having a couple of big super powers maintaining order for their own shallow economic ends? I think it is.

Whoopie, it's obvious that Krauthammer is a name of distinction given to those Soviet comrades who destroyed Germany in WWII.

Unfortunately, his grandfather made a drunken wrong turn in post war Berlin and ended up in the Amerikkkan section and this wrong turn allowed poor Charles to be exposed to the evils of capitalism! Now he's a chief propagandist for Faux news!

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:.....
I am also liking this foto from Krauthammer feature article of Ahmadinajad doing the Hokey-Pokey with the boy from Brazil and the mad Turk

ahmadinajad dancing hokey pokey.jpg

Put your left foot in, put your left foot out
Put your left foot in and shake it all about....

Glorious!!!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:My goodness, O, in the distance I hear Photoshop sweating. But since we are having fun wondering about people, let me introduce Jesse Garcia:

And Jesse gives us even more with

I would dearly love to meet the person, either model or photographer, or both, who has thus much sense of fun. This is as absurd as Richard Simmons doing fantasy football.

Eww. Like, just look at the orange peel cellulite that left cheek, Bitch! This bitch should like, seriously go for some lipo, Bitch!

I wonder if this man isn't the result of some medicines for HIV. I've seen some picture of some men who were on some HIV drugs and they looked like this. Very cut, as the bodybuilders would say.

I think it's the gogo boots and the feather boa which get my attention though. What's wrong with this picture? It's like seeing Obama with a real job.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I wonder if this man isn't the result of some medicines for HIV. I've seen some picture of some men who were on some HIV drugs and they looked like this. Very cut, as the bodybuilders would say.

I think it's the gogo boots and the feather boa which get my attention though. What's wrong with this picture? It's like seeing Obama with a real job.

---

My theory is this, Theo: You got your go-go boots, you got your feather boa, you got no jobs. Q.E.D. You got nothin'! That's right! Nothin'!

Don't mean to insert a "downer" in here, but,in the words of Kris Kristofferson:

"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', that's all that Bama left me, yeah
But if feelin' good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues
Hey, feelin' good was good enough for me, mm-hmm
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee"

Credit: Janis Joplin
- words and music by Kris Kristofferson
- first popularized by Roger Miller in 1969 (#12 Country hit)
- lyrics as recorded by Janis Joplin on the 1971 album "Pearl"
(Columbia VCK-30322)

I am deeply grateful for this insight into my life by the gubmint! (and Janis)