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All Home Intruders Share Resemblance, Alarm Companies Say

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Here is a list of the villains from some of the top alarm company commercials on Youtube:

1. Broadview Security Commercial: "Backyard"

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2. Brink's Home Security: "Wrong Door"

A scene from Home Alone? No, this sad-looking white home intruder is about to terrorize you.

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3. Broadview Security: "The Ex"

A romantic scene from The Notebook? No, this is a home intruder.

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4. Adt Home Security: "In my mind's eye | Burglary"

A trio of intruders.

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5. Brinks Home Security: Spot #2

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6. Broadview Security: "The House Party"

A clone of James van der Beek breaks into a woman's home.

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7. Brinks Home Security - 3 spots

This Edward Burns-lookalike is an angry home intruder.

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8. Slomin's Home Security: Scary Van

Another trio of home intruders.

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9. Brink's Home Security: "Treadmill"

Jason Statham, is that you?

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10. Brink's Home Security: "Just To Be Sure"

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11. ADT Home Security - Monitored Alarm Systems

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Olga, I think you may be missing a greater truth. In much the same way that a person of color cannot be a racist, no matter what they say or do, a person of color cannot be a home invader. Think about it: an invader is one who enters by force an area or region to which the person has no right. But can a person of color NOT have a right to enter the homes of the evil white racist oppressors and repossess the goods stolen from their ancestors by the ancestors of the evil white oppressors? Therefor, there can be no person of color as a home invader; the person of color has every right to be there.

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Betinov, I would recommend you for a Party Badger of Honor as a salute to your clear thinking but I see from your avatar you are a white brain so I will merely admonish you to check your privilege.

Alas, I have been informed I need to denounce myself for use of the term "clear" thinking as it is color-phobic and is also probably a racist code word (the Party conference on undiscovered racist code words has yet to rule on that one.)

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I hear dog whistles.
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People who man the call centers for home security companies are invariably honkies. Also, hands preparing food in fast-food commercials are invariably White White, White Hispanic, White Asian, or White Negro (ask the late Sen. Robert Bird (D) about this classification).

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Opiate of the People wrote:Betinov, I would recommend you for a Party Badger of Honor as a salute to your clear thinking but I see from your avatar you are a white brain so I will merely admonish you to check your privilege.

Alas, I have been informed I need to denounce myself for use of the term "clear" thinking as it is color-phobic and is also probably a racist code word (the Party conference on undiscovered racist code words has yet to rule on that one.)
Not to mention the suggestion that "thinking" of any kind is (shudder) a good thing. Double denounce!

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Dedhedvedev wrote:I hear dog whistles.
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People who man the call centers for home security companies are invariably honkies. Also, hands preparing food in fast-food commercials are invariably White White, White Hispanic, White Asian, or White Negro (ask the late Sen. Robert Bird (D) about this classification).
This is true, according to the commercials.

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Crazy. Not only do they seem to all be white men, but they are white men who look a lot alike. But then, they all look the same to me anyway (yawn).

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Comrades, have you seen this, about the recent White Privilege Conference?
The short video at the bottom is delightful.


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OH NO! WHITE GUYS!!!
"But that's OK, 'cause white guys are MORONS who will hang around while I bean them with bowling balls until my multi-racial security team arrives, thanks to my Home Security System Designed for White Guys™ ... Hope they Got Insurance [?]"

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote: Comrades, have you seen this, about the recent White Privilege Conference?
The short video at the bottom is delightful.

The alarm company CEOs must have attended the White Privilege Conference. Sounds like the conference has a lot of ideas for vilifying white people.

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Gads! I'm glad I'm gray. (Say THAT 3 times fast!)

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Well, according to alarm company commercials the people in the call center are prompt, articulate, competent and speak English. Not to mention the call centers look like NORAD instead of tiny cubicles full of chimpanzees.

They also portray the alarm trip / call center response / passed on to police time frame as seconds, instead of the 20-30 minute minimum experienced by most police departments.

I guess all of this makes me a racist. I denounce myself.

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Dear Comrades,

As a preface, I must inform you that I have become a recent convert, and humbly ask that you accept me into your fold.

I was once an evil capitalist with freedom to do as I pleased. I once thought it was because I worked my fingers to the bone, quite literally, and saved what I mistook as MY earnings.

After seeing how racist I have been since reading the article above, as well as your well thought out admonitions, that even considering that a small percentage of the population of Amerikka could possibly commit so many crimes was my mistake.

Please forgive my shortcomings.

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IT IS NO SURPRISE TO US, HERE AT THE EASTERN BRANCH OF THE PEOPLE'S COMMUNICATIONS CONGLOMERATE AND MEDIA BROADCASTERS (EB-PCCMB), THAT SUCH A STUDY WOULD SHOW SUCH RESULTS! IN FACT, AFTER DEEPER AND MORE DETAILED RESEARCH, OUR SCIENTISTS HERE AT THE EB-PCCMB HAVE FOUND THAT MOST INTRUDERS INTO INNOCENT FAMILY HOMES ARE ALSO RACIST REPUBNIKS THAT NEED REEDUCATION AT ONE OF OUR CAMPS! THEY ALSO HATE OUR GLORIOUS, UNDEFEATED, UNBLEMISHED LEADER, THE INSURMOUNTABLE BARAKK HUSSEIN OBAMA! LONG LIVE OUR GLORIOUS LEADER!!!!
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Why not add-in that they're conservative, America-loving, Christian white men who have families and love their wives?

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Vlad the Impaler wrote:Dear Comrades,

As a preface, I must inform you that I have become a recent convert, and humbly ask that you accept me into your fold.

I was once an evil capitalist with freedom to do as I pleased. I once thought it was because I worked my fingers to the bone, quite literally, and saved what I mistook as MY earnings.

After seeing how racist I have been since reading the article above, as well as your well thought out admonitions, that even considering that a small percentage of the population of Amerikka could possibly commit so many crimes was my mistake.

Please forgive my shortcomings.

Comrade Vlad,

You have managed to remain (though, just barely) within the mandated pixel limits. Therefore, I am unable to denounce you. (at this time) But rest assured, I will be watching. In the meantime, and in my non-existent official capacity, I welcome you.

*NOTE: It is rumored that I accept any and all donations for whatever reason. This is a lie.

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Comrade Squirrel, you're gonna make the Commissar of Gender Equality mad at me :O

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This Cube story has been picked up by the American Thinker and is apparently quite popular there, as it has collected (as of now) 157 comments.

Sad, yet hilarious


Thomas Lifson wrote:I remember as a child in the 1950s and 60s laughing at the absurdities of the Soviet media that were reported here. Utterly false images created of the United States, and impossibly heroic images for the USSR.

Now, frightened of revealing anything that might reflect badly on black people, alarm companies create a wholly imaginary universe in which white people are responsible for all the crime committed in the United States.

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Oh dear.

This "Lifson" person says, among other things:

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"I remember as a child in the 1950s and 60s laughing at the absurdities of the Soviet media that were reported here. Utterly false images created of the United States, and impossibly heroic images for the USSR.

Now, frightened of revealing anything that might reflect badly on black people, alarm companies create a wholly imaginary universe in which white people are responsible for all the crime committed in the United States."

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So much for American Thinker being unbiased and truthful comrades! OF COURSE the alarm companies are saying that all criminals are white people - they're also all 1%ers, and they are FILLED WITH HATE!!

SOME people obviously need to attend a certain White Privilege Conference next time it comes around...

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I am curious ... at White Privilege Conferences, when one is told to check one's privilege, does that mean one checks it at the same place where one checks one's coat? (Do I sense a graphic here of a privilege-check booth?)

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Comrades, I think we have stumbled onto a way to defeat the Reichwing NRA thugs... we post a gazillion of these signs around, they blindly follow instructions, and we melt and re-shape the offensive weapons into tractor parts! What could possibly go wrong?

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Comrade Photoshopova, we must make a rather important correction: the "non-white home intruder" you speak of is actually not a home intruder but is actually protecting the white couple…from themselves.

Even then, we would have to admonish GEICO, or any corporation [spit] for that matter, if they dare portray home intruders as being anything but white. As a fellow comrade so brilliantly said:

Ivan Betinov wrote:In much the same way that a person of color cannot be a racist, no matter what they say or do, a person of color cannot be a home invader.

Still, keep up the good work and we'll forgive you for your not-so-minor error.

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That is odd. The two thugs that carjacked and murdered my sister-in-law were black. The thug that assaulted and robbed my wife was black. The thug that threatened my daughter at the county fair was, wait for it......... black! I was nearby when my daughter was threatened with bodily harm for protesting a black man that jumped the line. Yes, I did take immediate action and gave him a choice. Lucky for him he chose wisely.

Why don't they show a diverse home invasion robbery by a white male, black male, Hispanic male, an Asian female and a transgendered? Through an IRS agent in to boot...

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Tovarichi wrote:Image
Comrades, I think we have stumbled onto a way to defeat the Reichwing NRA thugs... we post a gazillion of these signs around, they blindly follow instructions, and we melt and re-shape the offensive weapons into tractor parts! What could possibly go wrong?

Here in the district of Dumbphucistan, People's Republic of Kalifornia, even if found innocent of any charges when using a firearm for self defense, you must petition and pay a fee to get your firearm returned, minus the ammo. There have been cases were firearms are not returned for over a year after the case has been adjudicated and in some of those cases, the legally owned firearm is destroyed.

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Bite your sorry TONGUE, you troublemaker! The State destroying firearms, this is blasphemy! Here in Texazistan that kind of talk would get you taken to a tall tree where there is a not-so-tall section of rope hanging from it, and you would just commit an assisted suicide even if it took two or three attempts.

that job goes to the highest bidder, and paid in beets or vodka, under the table. Alternately they can go to our Mexican allies through the diligent care of Attorney General Eric Holder.

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Tovarichi wrote: Comrades, I think we have stumbled onto a way to defeat the Reichwing NRA thugs... we post a gazillion of these signs around, they blindly follow instructions, and we melt and re-shape the offensive weapons into tractor parts! What could possibly go wrong?


Like this, Comrade Tovarichi?


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Such a visage causes my progressive heart to go pitty-pat...thank you for posting such. I hope that the cylinders were properly verified empty prior to knotting the barrel, safety first,you know.

There might be racism in an unexpected direction. Showing white criminals as being inept at breaking in while the residents are not at home, and being easily spooked by alarms implies that criminals of color would be more adept in crime.
They want to show their product in what they see as a best case scenario, where the white criminal is easily deterred from crime by a simple alarm and is scared into fleeing, probably to a police station to surrender.
The implication is that a darker criminal would be more vicious and savvy in criminal activity. Its very racist. They are literally worse than Hitler.


 
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