Please to allow me to introduce myself. I am a so-called lawyer in the Kapitalist State of New Jersey. Me and many fellow members of the so-called legal profession are toiling dilligently in the people's struggle to finally achieve true justice for all the oppressed workers, using an ingenious combination of direct political action, lawsuits in the "public" (hehe) interest, class-action suits and slip and fall and dogbite cases. Of course, direct political action includes installing political operatives in key legislative, judicial and executive offices and donations to DNC, MoveOn.org and Commisar Hillary's PACs.

One must never forget to pay appropriate tribute to one of the KGB's greatest successes in the legal field: the ACLU. Ha, if the stupid Yankee running dogs only new what ACLU actually stands for! Association of Communist Liberator's Unions. Some of our greatest successes are in the judicial offices we've infiltrated in order to scour them clean of bourgeois filth and to bring about the socialist dream. Just yesterday 5 comrades on the so-called "Supreme Court" made a breakthrough towards giving the State ultimate control of the means of production so precious to the Kapitalist thieves. Of course, our good friends in New London, Conn. had to pretend to favor real estate developers, the filthiest imperialists in the class war. But it was so worth it, in order to win the tools of power the people need to create a true utopian state.

Our class action suits and slip and fall and dogbite cases are steadily sapping the strength of the American ekonomy, through the incredible high costs to the legal system, regulations, legal fees, and wasted time and energy by the Corporate enemies of the people.

Onward to victory Komrades and thank you so much for this website!!

New Jersey You say? Hello Komrade Ralph, I too harken from the great republic of NJ! I was born in the red county of Bergen!! You??

Sadly, Komrade Koz, I am from the irredentist county of Ocean. Massive doses of Kapitalist propaganda have caused the workers to vote for republican scoundrels time and again. Nevertheless, many lawyers like myself and other loyal party members continue to struggle to achieve a true worker's paradise, like Cuba under the Great Leader Fidel.

Komrade Ralph, I indeed have heard of the struggles of our party in Ocean!! Fear not, for Mayor Street of Philadelphia is on the case, and he has informed me that he is sending 50,000 of his finest dead voters to Ocean immediately.

Hello Comrade Ralph,

I, too, wish to join the class action collective. Are there any spots available in quality suits? Are the cigarette suits still open? I exposed myself to asbestos two years ago -- can I get in on those suits too?

I also must ask, if I want to sue somebody but have no current case, what is the best way to develop one? Particularly, a wealthy elderly couple demean me by having me clean their pool for money, and I hate them for it. Is a slip and fall best, or is a near-drowning AND a slip and fall better?

Also, there is a restaurant I used to work at that I want to take down. they treated me like the hired help and talked down to me all day. I recently saw a failed "finger-chilli" ploy. What is the latest craze? I thought about a class action, since I saw them use MSG in their food, and I bet that MSG can kill in high enough doses.

Also, what do you do if you are being wrongly prosecuted for theft? I have hired Ron Kuby (who charges alot for a socialist). He says we deny deny deny, but I believe I was entitled to the goods because I stole them from my boss at the TV repair shop, and he always looked down on me.

HILLARY IN '08

Komrade Koz:

Your words warm my heart almost as much as the singing of the Internationale at halftime of hockey game, itself a paradigm for class struggle. I will activate some of our friends to prepare a glorious welcome for Mayor Streets red brigades.

Hard Worker:

You ask many excellent questions, rooted in a thorough knowledge of the exploitation of workers by the filthy bosses.

Limited opportunities are available in the cigarette and asbestos scams-er-uh-projects. You will have to contact your local Kommisar with an appropriate bribe-er-uh-gift to help the Kommisar realize that your party loyalty is unquestioned. He can then put you in touch with one of the lead c ounsel in the class aktion suits, who for an appropriate gift to compensate him for his unquestioned party loyalty will introduce you to a member of the Sekretariat under the guise of the so-called New Jersey Democratic Committee. He will expect a contribution to the Socialist Worker's Liberation Fund (in cash, small bills). Once he gives you the "red light", your in. Its as easy as if we were in the Soviet motherland, see? A final note: always speak the praise of our glorious leader, Hillary Clintonovich.

As to the elderly bourgeoise couple, pick the best candidate and then bring a sexual harassment suit. The perverted Kapitalists are so degenerate in their sexual ways, compared to the purity of our great proletariat, they will believe he molested you just as well and award you the pool.

Careful with the MSG. The pigs are catching wind to the fact that MSG was an ingenious plot introduced by our brothers in the People's Wonderfully Free Republic of China. Turning the American's disgusting obsession with Chinese food, the Supreme Council sent hoardes of Chinamen (do not repeat this-for some strange reason, Americans pretend to be offended by racist slurs) to open Chinese restaurants throughout the land with strict instruction to include high doses of MSG in all recipes. There are now over 68,000 restaurants dispensing this toxin to the unknowing Kapitalist pigs, who do not realize that it is causing them hair loss, incontinence, headaches and bad sports teams.

Kuby is an excellent choice. Specially groomed at the highest levels of the KGB since birth in Cleveland to loyal party members (his parents conceived him under portraits of Lenin and Marx), Kuby is steadfastly dedicated to the destruction of Amerika. He can be relied upon to make a mockery of the criminal justice system, while pretending to care about the constitution and Bill of so-called Rights. Perhaps our greatest achievement was getting the morning show job with the illiterate buffoon, Curtis Sliwa, giving Komrade Ron every chance to advance proper groupthink concepts to the minds of the unsuspecting masses, who do not understand that it is for their own good.

Yours in Socialist Solidarity,

KomradRalphieboy

KomradRalphieboy:
While the Internationale is definitely heart-warming during hockey games, I believe that the USSR National Anthem really stirs my heart. You can't avoid standing at attention on the first note! Just a thought...

By the way, a great contribution to the People's Cube! Hopefully you are revolutionizing your local area one comrade at a time.

Continuing the struggle against capitalism,
Vladimir Ivanov
Red Journalism Headquarters, Moscow, USSR

Hello KomradRalphieboy,

I am Kommissar Betty and if you wish to learn more about me just watch MY movie, Kung Pow.

Kommissar Betty wrote:Hello KomradRalphieboy,

I am Kommissar Betty and if you wish to learn more about me just watch MY movie, Kung Pow.

Where do I find your movie, Madame Kommissar?

Komrad Ralphieboy -

Kommissar Betty (who by the way is a guy) is referring to this link -

https://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=19

Thank you Red Square, I was considering a trip to one of our many
re-education centers for Ralphieboy, but because I'm in a good mood and he's new I decided to let it slide.

-Kommissar Betty