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Alternative meds conference ends up in chaos, ambulances

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I wish we had come up with this, but this is just life imitating the People's Cube once again.

Homeopathy conference ends in chaos after delegates take hallucinogenic drug

An alternative medicine conference has ended in chaos in Germany after dozens of delegates took a LSD-like drug and started suffering from hallucinations. Broadcaster NDR described the 29 men and women “staggering around, rolling in a meadow, talking gibberish and suffering severe cramps”.

The group of "Heilpraktikers" was discovered at the hotel where they held their conference in the town of Handeloh, south of Hamburg, on Friday. More than 150 medical staff, ambulances and police descended on the scene and took the raving delegates to hospital.

The patients, aged between 24 and 56, were found suffering from delusions, breathing problems, racing hearts and cramps, with some in a serious condition, Deutsche Welle reported. Tests on their blood and urine revealed they had all taken hallucinogenic drug 2C-E, which is known as Aquarust in Germany and has been illegal there since the end of last year.

No one recovered sufficiently to be interviewed by police until Monday, a spokesperson said. Police are reportedly looking into possibilities including the drug being taken as a joint experiment, or it being furtively given to conference participants as a prank.

Ushanka tip to vigilant Mi.


Fhalkyn wrote:... and the Europeans were still practicing leech treatment

Edmund Blackadder: Never had anything you doctors didn't try to cure with leeches. A leech on my ear for ear ache, a leech on my bottom for constipation.

Doctor Leech: They're marvelous, aren't they?

Edmund: Well, the bottom one wasn't. I just sat there and squashed it.

Doctor: You know the leech comes to us on the highest authority?

Edmund: Yes. I know that. Dr. Hoffmann of Stuttgart, isn't it?

Doctor: That's right, the great Hoffmann.

Edmund: Owner of the largest leech farm of Europe.

Doctor: Yes. Well, I cannot spend all day gossiping; I'm a busy man. As far as this case is concerned, I have now had time to think it over and I can strongly recommend a course of leeches.

Edmund: Yes. I'll pop a couple down my codpiece before I go to bed.

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I was about to shriek HATER! at you because you were down on leeches, but then I realized you were mocking Western Europe and decided to like you on face book.

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I don't think quoting Sir Edmund Blackadder is going to win you any brownshirt points.

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Fhalkyn wrote:
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Reminds me of the South Park episode Cherokee Hair Tampons.
On a more serious note, the great irony of "Western" medicine is that it derives from Muslim medical practices from the Dark Ages, when the Middle Easterners were undergoing almost modern surgery and the Europeans were still practicing leech treatment (which goes a long way to explaining why they're so desperate for a global caliphate- they want to relive the golden days of Islam.)

[OFF]

Another great irony is that while we in the "West" enjoy the modern miracle of surgery for all kinds of diseases and conditions, most of the middle-easterners don't enjoy such a wonderful thing because of Islam. I mean, just look up photos of mid-eastern countries in the 60's 70's and 80's. They looked almost like a European country plunked down in the desert before Islam came and initiated the filming of Back To The Past starring Mohammed McFly and Dr. Imam Brown.

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Red Square wrote:
The patients, aged between 24 and 56, were found suffering from delusions.....

It's working, comrades! Re-education may appear slow but the results are indisputable!

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:I don't think quoting Sir Edmund Blackadder is going to win you any brownshirt points.

Damn, and I have almost enough to get the toaster oven.


 
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