Amazon: Babies By Air Mail

Attention All Comrades:

Chicago Tribune:

Soon couples of all persuasions will be able to order children by logging onto the Amazon Website. Just send a sample egg and sperm cell to Amazon’s Conception and Incubation Center and in 9 months a child will be air-dropped on your doorstep! Bezos foresees a day when the 9 month gestation period will be shortened significantly - possibly leading to overnight delivery.

Here's how it will be done:


 

I do hope the egg dispenser does not resemble FLATUS, that would be wrong on so many levels...
 

I demand GoogleClone™!!! With delivery by driverless GoogleCar™!

After all, Sergei's (former) wife is head of 23andme.com, collecting DNA from all over from suckers people who wish to know their genetic predispositions. I'm suuuuuure said DNA will never make it into a government DNA database...
 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

I demand GoogleClone™!!! With delivery by driverless GoogleCar™!

After all, Sergei's (former) wife is head of 23andme.com, collecting DNA from all over from suckers people who wish to know their genetic predispositions. I'm suuuuuure said DNA will never make it into a government DNA database...

I share your concern, Comrade ROCK. But somehow it must. I'm sure the comrades in the new cloning center will find a way. How else will we establish total population equality? Don't worry.
 

As the news broke out, I received this dispatch from Comrade General Secretary:

What is the greatest infrastructure that connects us all with a portal to our homes? The answer is the massive sewer system, and the portal is a toilet. Why not utilize it for the common good as a universal delivery system?

Introducing Amazon Sewer! The great new way to receive all your Amazon deliveries. Highly trained technicians at our fulfillment center delicately pack your order into one of our specially designed submersible drones. The drone is then flushed down the toilet where its patented navigation system guides its way to your address. Within less then an hour your package is bobbing in your bowl. Trips to the bathroom are about to become a lot more fun!

Hey you, did someone order a cat? Here I am.



 

I am sure that my Make a Baby kit is not so complicated as the Amazon one. I will just have a look ...

Yes, nowhere near as complicated. The technology of the People will always prevail over that of the running-dog capitalists.