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Another Triumph for Socialism- 9yo Banned from Little League

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Comrades! In yet another glorious triumph for social justice and equality, <a href="https://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/ ... cnn=yes">9 year old Jericho Scott has been banned from pitching in a New Haven, CT Little League for being <b>too good!!!</b></a>. In an interview with the league's child psychologist, Dr. Mandy Weiner, our investigation has learned that Jericho was such an awesome pitcher that the other kids felt inferior. "We, as adults, have to show compassion for the other children. Their self-esteem is still developing and at this age to have them feel like 'losers' would be a terrible blow for them. Banning Jericho was the 'morally superior' thing to do.". When asked why, Dr. Weiner responded "Our egos demand it!". When I asked Dr. Weiner what of Jericho's self-esteem she told me "Oh well! The needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few.".

Jericho's parents are considering taking legal action. The New Haven little league has reached out to the American Civil Liberties Union, who have agreed to take on the case. Abe Schystman of the Connecticut ACLU said, "We cannot have a 9 year old boy out there playing competitive sports, out performing all the other players by such a wide margin. A 40mph fastball? C'mon! That's not competition. That's showing off. And showing off is detructive to the self-esteem of the other children playing baseball. The league took the appropriate action to put a stop to Jericho Scott's abuse of the other players feelings.".

Clearly the steps taken by the New Haven, CT little league are in keeping with the spirit and philosophy of The People's Cube™. Therefore, I recommend that the Politburo™ support them in their battle against this evil little league baseball pitcher.

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When asked about how Jericho felt, Jericho replied:
"I feel sad," he said. "I feel like it's all my fault nobody could play."
Dr. Weiner immediately prescribed Ritalin and Zoloft, the League's problem was solved and all lived happily ever after in Marxland.

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In time, Jericho (what a disturbing Biblical name!) will learn to thank his superiors. He narrowly avoided becoming a pawn of capitalist running dogs. Making millions, hawking cheap consumer goods and pretending to care for the undertrodden at bogus charity events. As he toils his allotted decades in the Workers Paradise that the Obamessiah will usher in, he will forget his brief distraction and gratefully reflect on his nameless contribution to the collective.

Anyway, Central Planning has all the baseball resources centered on Cuba. "The Party been berry berry good to me!"

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Hooray for equality amongst the players! So in the spirit of this, should there be no bat and ball, no players and benches, in fact, no game? This way, there are no winners and losers.

(karakter off)
Should of seen that one coming.

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[Sigh] Why does every child in this foolish country wish to grow up only to waste life running around in circles in front of drunken hooligans while noisy scoreboard flashes "Go Go" and fat cat imperialist owners sit in skybox planning their next trip to Cuba and sister countries in order to kidnap slaves and force them to perform in stupid game known as "baseball"? True junior soldiers of Revolution should aspire to service, like helping Comrade Obama make electric power by standing in field and exhaling in general direction of windmills. Or, helping Comrade Pelosi make non-fossil fuel natural gas by eating beans and cruciferous vegetables. Yes, thanks to Commune of New Haven and Apparatchiks at ACLU for trying to instill Revolutionary Spirit in misbegotten youth!

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What is this? The Parents of this child need to be sent to a labor camp. How dare they encourage this behavior. We should immediately send this child and his parents to a Siberian coal mining operation, let him toss coal for a while. Or perhaps we could use him to our advantage, when he grows older we could put a wig on him and enter him in the Olympics as a female javelin thrower.

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For sure, Comrade K.G.B. Komisar, the parents should be sent to the nearest Karl Marx Treatment Center®™. Maybe a few classes on Shovel Sharpening is all that is needed?

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Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:For sure, Comrade K.G.B. Komisar, the parents should be sent to the nearest Karl Marx Treatment Center®™. Maybe a few classes on Shovel Sharpening is all that is needed?

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I'm for it! Why not instead of shovel sharpening, shovel using?

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Shouldn't the shovel be sharp to facilitate it's efficient use on behalf of The People™?

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Comrades, I see everyone has come to the "logical" conclusion, and I am proud that RightThink™ prevails. Yet there is one thing that tears at me. for I wonder that had I ever brought forth a oxygen consuming, carbon footprinting rugrat, and he was given the opportunity to see or even compete against another comrade rugrat that excelled to such a degree, I would wish him to do so. Imagine whether you as a child. would have the opportunity to say, be in an economics class with a young Chairman. Would you not wish to say, "I knew the Chairman when he was young, amaze the teachers with his skills with graft, theft, and general fund raising." Would you be one of the parents to have tried to stop the young Chairman from developing his skills? Or to have been in the same class with a young Comrade Kalishnikov as he tried out his early models on class volunteers?

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Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Shouldn't the shovel be sharp to facilitate it's efficient use on behalf of The People™?

I suppose this is a paradox of life good comrade. For if the shovel isn't sharp, it's not good for the job, but if the shovel isn't used, no labor is being produced.


 
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