As part of my re-education, I have been asked to confess my crimes before the People who I have wronged. I, Archie Bane Limpold, hereby recant all allegiances to non-person “K” and any other third-party that may be deemed as opposition to Her Excellencies bid for total and complete national dominance. I also confess to the following crimes I have committed against the People and more importantly the Party as prescribed in the Fabricated Fun Extravaganza Clause as dictated in the Party manual for Purges and Accusations.

I Archie Bane Limpold committed the following… Ow! That bayonet is sharp! [Shut your trap and read the damn script!] OK! I am! Errhmm, I committed the following crimes against progress….

• I willfully spread campaign literature endorsing a slew of Republican candidates for office.
  
• I attended a number of Pro-Life rallies around the country.
  
• I voted in the affirmative for all ballot initiatives banning flag burning.
  
• I called a student activist fat, stupid and ugly.
  
• I advocated for lower taxes, stronger national defense and an end to the appointment of liberal activist judges.
  
• I listened to one nano-second of the Rush Limbaugh Program and had a thought.
  
• I cruelly abused a toaster by making toast and refused to provide healthcare, plug-change operations and a decent living wage for services rendered.

I Archie Bane Limpold denounce all accomplices, family members, friends and co-workers who assisted me in my crimes. I will now beg the Party to give me a harsh criticism session to further assist me in my re-habilitation.

--Peoples Update--

Comrades, glorious news! I have just completed my on demand one day PhD program at the Ivy League school of my choice. I am fully re-educated and now ready to serve the revolution with my new and improved progressive mind. Never again will I have to plead for money from fellow comrades, never again will I have to take marching orders from people who want to exploit me. My whole life now revolves around the Party, it's Politburo and most importantly Her Excellency.

I am ready to spin, lie, cheat, steal and lick envelopes for the glory of Her Excellency.

I'm wondering if we can classify him as an "enemy combatant" and hold him at The Club...indefinitely.

Just a pleasant thought.

You did WHAT with that toaster?!? I just hope for both of your well-being that you weren't in the bathtub while abusing that toaster.

I'd like to do something else to him. I have always had this fantasy ever since non-person "K" read his testimony to Congress in 1971. Considering the traitor's connection to the above non-person, I think it'll be fully justified if we...

... personally rape Archie Bane Limpold, cut off ears, cut off head, tape wires from portable telephones to his genitals and turn up the power, cut off limbs, blow up his body, randomly shoot at his neighbors, raze his village in a fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, shoot his cattle and dogs for fun, poison his food stock, and generally ravage the countryside.

Can we do it? Please Hillary? Pretty please?

::throws excrement at Archie::

Pig! Traitor! Registered Republican!

Torture is to good for Archie, he must PAY. I have more charges I would like to press against his broken spirit and tired bruised face.

- He refered to Sean Hannity as a "Great American"

- He made several offensive gestures to fellow Party members by sending them a "Chr**mas card".

- He sided with Israel on several public occassions when asked his opinion on Lebanese freedom-fighter liberation.

- He dismissed the Macaca bombshell of blantant hatemongering racism.

- He denied a request by a blender to have his hand in marriage.

Some things are so unprogressive it would challenge the logic and reasoning of the Party. I will not dare mention those unspeakable deeds!

What's this, some kind of illegal purge?
I don't recall initiating a purge.
No, I stated re-education or enrollment in an Ivy League school.
Archie has all the classical makings of a useful idiot and I think he'd make a great WHORE, stuffing envelopes for Party mailings. Just look at that drool! He could slobber-lick 5,000 a night and still have some spittal left over to shine my pumps.
He could be my new Stephen Stuffingenvelopes or whatever that little goat cheese's name was..all I know is that he always smelled of feta.
No, comrades, he's a keeper.

Hillary

Thank you Your Excellecy! I told em', I told em' this was wrong, but they insisted the blade of Peoples Justice had to be sharpened. I must go now to a village like Harvard or Princeton, there I will be taught the skills needed to be a useful idiot of the revolution. Farewell comrades! Farewell! Maybe I will learn to be a journalist, pollster or an intern. I always like writing, maybe I could learn about writing filthy books about my adventures in the far east? Who knows, but I will return comrades as a lesser man and give my contribution to progress.


Farewell comrades, farewell! I go off to a better place!

I have posted a --Peoples Update--

Dr. Archie B. Limpold III wrote:Thank you Your Excellecy! I told em', I told em' this was wrong, but they insisted the blade of Peoples Justice had to be sharpened. I must go now to a village like Harvard or Princeton, there I will be taught the skills needed to be a useful idiot of the revolution. Farewell comrades! Farewell! Maybe I will learn to be a journalist, pollster or an intern. I always like writing, maybe I could learn about writing filthy books about my adventures in the far east? Who knows, but I will return comrades as a lesser man and give my contribution to progress.


Farewell comrades, farewell! I go off to a better place!

Perhaps you can return as a House page
Or a party tool for HRC :-O