Comrades....I need your help. I am loyal party man like the next apparatchik, but I do need your help in understanding party policy. I do realize that asking questions like this can get me denounced, but whatever the truth as the party deems it to be, I will propagate. Just need some clarity...

Now as Comrade Biden proclaimed, paying our taxes and more of them is patriotic, yes?

Starting with Comrade Rangel who writes our patriotic tax laws. He is being questioned by unscrupulous "journalists" about his failure to count as taxable income the money he has received for renting his tropical dacha to deserving proles. Don't these fools realize that the man who writes the rules doesn't have to abide by them?

With Comrade Geithner it is clear that he wanted to patriotically contribute his income from the gig at the IMF bank, but those irresponsible proles in payroll just wouldn't take them out for him. This truly put an unfair burden on Comrade Geithner to expect him to pay his fair share as a more equal member of the party. How are we going to spread the wealth if fellow party members like Comrade Geithner don't pay their fair share?

Then there is non-party member Joe Wurtzelbach who is finally seeing the light. He went out and got a second job as a "journalist" to help pay his back taxes patriotically.

I know this seems very confusing, but can fellow comrades please straighten this out for me so I can propagate the appropriate truth?

Joe has come out and is openly conservative. It goes without saying that even if he were to give his life saving the entire People's Congress from a burning building, he would not be eligible for Patriot status. Rangel has the same immunity conferred on all "D" party members. Geithner "forgot" and has now "apologized" so we need to "move on".

Only the two on the left are. That other guy, no: he dared to question The One and dissents, which is no longer patriotic.

I'm rooting for Geithner to save America the French way, with "magic cheese." It will build Hope™ in developing countries seeking to Change™ themselves. Just slap "Fair Trade" or "organic" (with reservations) on it and we've got a whole new deal, same as the old deal, to sell.