Atlanta Faces Ice Age Disaster

AP and Craptek News Service: An epic winter storm is lashing the south-eastern states with a crippling 2.3" snow fall and below freezing temperatures. Children are trapped, freezing and starving on stranded school buses. Jack-knifed 18 wheelers litter the interstate highway system blocking rescue vehicles and snow plows from freeing millions of motorists stranded in the sub arctic chill.



"We’re running out of gas. We haven’t eaten in hours. My I-Phone battery died. The baby’s diaper is overflowing!” These are just a few of the chilling pleas for help littering the Twitterverse as Georgia residents prepare for another night of record cold.

“Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal said the National Guard was sending military Humvees onto Atlanta's snarled freeways to try to move stranded school buses and get food and water to people. Georgia State Patrol troopers headed to schools where children were hunkered down early Wednesday after spending the night there, and transportation crews continued to treat roads and bring gas to motorists, Deal said.”

“Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed took blame for schools, businesses and government all letting out at the same time and said they should have staggered their closings.”

CNN info-babe Carol Costello argued with Mayor Reed, blaming him for not caring. The Mayor blamed Governor Deal, who promptly deflected all blame to the weather forecasters. The local weather forecasters promptly blamed the National Weather Service. All in all, it was quite an amusing scene.

Prediction: The next few days will witness an in depth search by the MSM for those responsible that will dwarf the congressional investigation of Benghazi. The reason? CNN headquarters is located in Atlanta, and Carol Costello was inconvenienced.
 

Time for the good Citizens of Atlanta to learn to play ice hockey!

I am an expert in making hockey schticks. I shall send some to Atlanta immediately.
 

Atlanta should quit whining. Look at what Global-Warming-Cooling-Whatever-Claimit-Changes did to Jekyll Island, Georgia ...



... and look at what it did to the Florida panhandle:



--KOOK
 

Buncha crybabies. A little snow, grocery stores full of products to loot, Jimmy Carter building stuff, and the citizens of Atlanta whine like bedwetting schoolgirls. They don't know how good they have it. <spit>
 

As tragic as this epic storm is, it pails in comparison to the crippling half a foot of snow which devastated parts of the Washington Metropolitan Area recently, causing party leaders to cancel their dinner reservations and make alternate plans for their offspring's sports collective rallies.
 

Comrades, there's only one word acronym for such a disaster:FEMA!

This is Mother Nature's way of reminding us that we cannot survive without the love and affection of Big Brother to guide our every step.

I apologize for the screwed up font. My "day time" computer doesn't play well with TPC website.

 

And darn those KKKapitalists....... Chick-fil-A feeds stranded drivers .... FOR FREE.... Somehow those KKKapitalists have learned to make a profit by GIVING away their foodstuffs.... without vouchers or ration cards!

Quote:

Some of the drivers had been stuck in their cars for nearly seven hours without any food or water. So the staff of the Chick-fil-A decided to lend a helping hand.

“We cooked several hundred sandwiches and stood out on both sides of 280 and handed out the sandwiches to anyone we could get to – as long as we had food to give out.”

The staffers braved the falling snow and ice and Chick-fil-A refused to take a single penny for their sandwiches.

The meal was a gift – no strings attached.

So why did they give away their food?

“This company is based on taking care of people and loving people before you’re worried about money or profit,” Pitts says. “We were just trying to follow the model that we’ve all worked under for so long and the model that we’ve come to love. There was really nothing else we could have done but try to help people any way we could.”

The Chick-fil-A also allowed anyone who wanted to sleep on a bench or a booth.

They did NOT give FEMA a chance to help - or the National Guard!
 

I certainly hope that children who were stranded in schools were not permitted to eat from vending machines containing unhealthful (according to Dear Leaderess) foods.
 

I'll bet they only fed the heterosexuals.
 

Hopefully they followed all the Southeastern Icestorm Preparation Protocols:

1) Public officials are to panic as storm approaches, cancelling schooldays at lunch without warning.

2) All parents of schoolchildren are to bug out of work and tear-ass to school to pick up Buffy and Skip as they are locked out of the building in subfreezing temperatures.

3) All four of the working snowplows in Georgia are to converge on Millidgeville. No one is to ask why.

4) Parents with children in tow are to tear-ass from the traffic jam at school and converge on the Wal-Mart Super Center. Each family is to purchase their snow event survival kit at this point. Each kit will consist of one shopping cart full of sliced white sandwhich bread. five (minimum) gallons of whole milk, and one can of tuna fish.

5) Once any form of frozen precipitation is detected, all persons with an IQ of less than 90 are to climb into four-wheel-drive vehicles and tear-ass around town "to check on their people."
 

Ummm, I kind of resembled #4 on Monday, except for the tuna fish. I was having flashbacks of the ice storm we had here in '97. I was without electricity for several days. It was horrible. There was no FEMA back then to help me!
 

Fema is an option, but they can be busy. Here's a simple alternative; we are talking about Georgia, chock full of carbon polluting marine mammals. Load the family in the Prius, drive to the beach, and bash a few of the weaker and/or aged Harbor Seals on the head. You now have weeks of hearty meals, for the starving children, of course.
 

Atlanta comrades please move to our sunny and warm Kalifornia immediately to prevent further Polar Vortex damage, where Global Warming is still alive and well.
 

Let us not blame Glorious Leader! After all, he has shrewdly "crippled" the "capitalist economy" to the point that demand for for gasoline is down! He is crazy like a fox in his efforts to end global...er...warming or...er...cooling. Well, whatever the weather is doing, Glorious Leader is fixing it!
 

DasVodkaVidanya

Let us not blame Glorious Leader! After all, he has shrewdly "crippled" the "capitalist economy" to the point that demand for for gasoline is down! He is crazy like a fox in his efforts to end global...er...warming or...er...cooling. Well, whatever the weather is doing, Glorious Leader is fixing it!
Could it be that Dear Leader has done too good of a job fighting global warming? Could he have caused too much warming to disappear? Could he have brought us back to the last ice age?
 

Snowstorms don't kill the people. Its racism that does.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_ ... story.html
 

Comrades,

Anyone remember if Puerto Rico's mayor sent aid to the wretched of Atlanta? Just wondering.

C Craptek
(concerned rodent)