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Aug 4 Is Dear Leader's Birthday; You Will Celebrate!

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Comrades, in accordance with current official suggested guidance regarding manadantory procedures, I hereby invite all of you to my 50th Birthday Bash In Honor of Dear Leader Obama's 50th Birthday at Which Time He Will Turn 50!

The Party will be held on Aug 3 (as required by law) at my current home under the I-50 bridge near the Obamaville shanty town. (Please arrive early to help me chip away caked-on pigeon poop.)

The Party will be BYOB (bring your own beets.)

Here is the official mandate invitation as presented by People's Free Media:

ABC News' Devin Dwyer wrote: No gifts, please. Just your name will do.

That's the message President Obama's re-election campaign is pushing in an elaborate nationwide effort to expand the president's grassroots network on his 50th birthday.
While aides plan a glitzy Aug. 3 fundraiser-bashfor Obama at Chicago's Aragon Ballroom, organizers are encouraging thousands of supporters who can't attend to plan and host house parties of their own.

The campaign has rolled out a website dedicated to promoting the parties -- and a glossy 4-page, step-by-step guide that instructs would-be hosts on everything from “recruiting” attendees to electronically relaying participants' personal information back to headquarters.

Who should be invited? “At least 50” friends and neighbors.

Where should it be held? “A quiet and focused place to talk and organize.”

When should it start? “Sometime between 6:30 PM and 6:45 PM ET.”

Aides say Obama will deliver a live video message to house party attendees that will stream over the internet on hosts' computers once the events are underway.

They're also offering help with decorations, selling special “host packs” of birthday hats, buttons, balloons, stickers and signs, all emblazoned with a giant 5-0, “Happy Birthday,” and the campaign's official logo.

And, don't forget to snap a picture, they say. “We're collecting hundreds of photos from house parties across the country and will display them for President Obama at his house party in Chicago.”

Comrades, I am in a bit of a pickle since it is not very quiet under the I-50 bridge at that time of day, so we will be able to organize but not talk no big deal as Obama doesn't listen anyway. Also, before I was able to eat him (or her), a rat ate thru my internet connection and so I need someone to provide an iPhone or some similar equipment, otherwise we will have nothing to stand and salute during Dear Leader's 50 hour minute address. An iPhone or similar equipment will also be useful for us to take pictures of ourselves cheering Dear Leader so as to verify our compliance with Party party attendance mandates send them to him for display on his web site.

BTW, since the Party already has all of your personal information, you will all be required to inform provide information on 50 new people. Just think of it as your gift to Dear Leader.

I hope you will all be able to attend because I so dearly want you all to join with me as I celebrate the great benefits I have realized thanks to Dear Leader's economic policies.

Please RSVP ASAP. If you cannot attend, I will be sad and disappointed because it is surely due to the fact that you are either dead or have a serious disease which is not being treated in a hospital due to end-of-life counseling. There is no other valid excuse for not attending an Obama 50th Birthday bash houseparty.

Looking forward to seeing you all Aug 3!

PS. Can someone lend me $150 for the mandantory decoration package? I promise to pay you back as soon as the debt ceiling is lifted.

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Dang, I really wanted to have my 50th birthday next year, when I turn 50, but I guess to be a faithful Obama-ite I better have it now.

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I'll bring my best gal to the celebration!

Happy 50th Obama From Comrade Buffoon.jpg

I hope Dear Leader gazes approvingly upon two of his most loyal serfs!

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Buffoon,

How about a special edition '50th' commemorative boot for Dear Leader's small, obtuse head?

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Corporeal Whinny wrote:Buffoon,

How about a special edition '50th' commemorative boot for Dear Leader's small, obtuse head?
The "chore boot" is traditional for lowly serfs when wading through mud and manure. I'm not sure Dear Leader would appreciate the implication. We could get gulag for even discussing such matters!

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Comrade Buffoon,

You know the saying: "If the boot fits..."

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The great thing about those party favors is they're recyclable--we can use them again in 2058 to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Obama's ascension.

We can even come up with new slogans, like "50 years of Hope for Change!"

Buffoon: Congratulations. She's a cutie.


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ABC News' Devin Dwyer wrote: No gifts, please. Just your name will do.

That's the message President Obama's re-election campaign is pushing in an elaborate nationwide effort to expand the president's grassroots network on his 50th birthday.
While aides plan a glitzy Aug. 3 fundraiser-bashfor Obama at Chicago's Aragon Ballroom, organizers are encouraging thousands of supporters who can't attend to plan and host house parties of their own.

The campaign has rolled out a website dedicated to promoting the parties -- and a glossy 4-page, step-by-step guide that instructs would-be hosts on everything from “recruiting” attendees to electronically relaying participants' personal information back to headquarters.

Who should be invited? “At least 50” friends and neighbors.

Where should it be held? “A quiet and focused place to talk and organize.”

When should it start? “Sometime between 6:30 PM and 6:45 PM ET.”

Aides say Obama will deliver a live video message to house party attendees that will stream over the internet on hosts' computers once the events are underway.

They're also offering help with decorations, selling special “host packs” of birthday hats, buttons, balloons, stickers and signs, all emblazoned with a giant 5-0, “Happy Birthday,” and the campaign's official logo.

And, don't forget to snap a picture, they say. “We're collecting hundreds of photos from house parties across the country and will display them for President Obama at his house party in Chicago.”
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Good Lord.
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Commissarka Pinkie,

Those are not dunce caps! Those caps were donated by the CPS, handcrafted by the disadvantaged Chicago Children™ in honor of his 'O'ly-ness. For shame!

Word has it that the Chicago party for His 'O'ly-ness will be held at the Arrogant Ball Room in downtown Chicago.

Remember:

Dear Leader will be

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THE HILL IN 2012!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Buffoon: Congratulations. She's a cutie.
She used to be much cuter until she ran afoul of an extremely intoxicated woman with a shovel in the Bunker Pub ™ one evening. Her head didn't always look that way...

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This cannot be correct. Age represents wisdom, and Dear Leader needs no more wisdom as he already has all this country needs. He cannot be assigned a specific age, because then all of that same age would have the misguided belief that they are equal with the One, and that cannot be...

I can fully accept that if Dear Leader wants to Party, his peoples will party, and do it right, by the book...I cannot see how he will fit in a party inbetween golfings, and concerts, and fundraisers, and wiping tears away from the Speaker of the House...but that is why he is the O'lyness.

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Happy Obama's Birthday to Buffoon and his gender-neutral family unit!

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Will there be sacrificial shoveling involved? I'M IN!

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Red Square wrote:Happy Obama's Birthday to Buffoon and his gender-neutral family unit!

Dearest More Equaler, Many thanks for now surely we will be the snazziest couple at Opiate of the Peoples overpass celebration!

My date (who actually is an ex-underwife to Mrs Alczarweary) has prepared beet muffins with a pinch or two of her glaucoma medicine sprinkled in to show her gratitude.

A proud union worker will deliver them to your door soon!

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Comrade, Opiate.I am most saddened to hear that you were forced to eat your beloved rat. I hope it may be of some comfort for you to know that your sacrifice for the collective has not gone unappreciated. I have attached below a picture of your loyal rat. The picture is a bit disturbing, however. It shows the excess to which you and your rat lived prior to Dear Leader's rise to power.
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A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.

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El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.
only four years?

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I'll be sure to be there! I'm sure Dear Leader will be delighted with a wide shot of all of us, photogenic as we are (especially Buffoon and his date) under a highway overpass. Maybe we can hold up a sign that says "The Face of the Obama Nation"....

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El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.

FOUR MORE YEARS!

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Comrade Buffoon wrote:
El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.
only four years?
It is not the quantity but the quality, Comrade. They are the best four years of my life.

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El Presidente wrote:
Comrade Buffoon wrote:
El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.
only four years?
It is not the quantity but the quality, Comrade. They are the best four years of my life.
Your answer is correct! Had you not given the correct answer, you would have fallen into Whoopie land! Who is a notorious not give it your aller... and a suspected tea party sympathizer...!
One cannot be too sure these days...

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Who is a notorious not give it your aller... and a suspected tea party sympathizer...!
One cannot be too sure these days..
Much appreciated, sir. One can never be to sure who is an actual Prog and who is simply pretending to be one in an effort to mock, demean, and minimize. But, thanks to thoroughness of fellow-travelers like yourself we can be rest assured that The People's Cube is made up of authentic progressives, unlike those dissidents who posed in 2004 as Communists for Kerry. I have heard it through the grapevine that those dissidents who perpetrated that charade are now safely put away in a gulag somewhere, never to be heard of again.

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What!? Is it his birthday again? He just had one a year ago.
(Ahhh, what I meant to say is, isn't it a shame he can't have two or three each year about this time.)

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:What!? Is it his birthday again? He just had one a year ago.
(Ahhh, what I meant to say is, isn't it a shame he can't have two or three each year about this time.)
Comrade Whoopie, I'm afraid that too many birthdays might interfere with both his golf and his vacations. One a year is plenty, as long as the entire country celebrates it sufficiently.
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Rhetorical question: what is it about this administration that reminds me more and more of European kings? Is it the constant pomp and circumstance? The literally thousands who travel with him wherever he goes? Things like this birthday? This look?:

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when he doesn't get his way immediately?

All of the above?

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On a related note, I VERY highly recommend Ann Coulter's new book, "Demonic". It's essentially about how mobs think and work, with a lot of references to Gustave Le Bon's classic "The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind", written in 1895, and a very eye opening and detailed comparison between the American and French revolutions.

It's a must read. It's not the usual delightfully sarcastic Ann (although there are sprinklings throughout), it's a serious study and history of how mobs think and how that applies directly to what's going on today. Get it.

And I vehemently denounce myself for even suggesting such a thing. I'm off to JiffyLobo™!

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R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:On a related note, I VERY highly recommend Ann Coulter's new book, "Demonic". It's essentially about how mobs think and work, with a lot of references to Gustave Le Bon's classic "The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind", written in 1895, and a very eye opening and detailed comparison between the American and French revolutions.

It's a must read. It's not the usual delightfully sarcastic Ann (although there are sprinklings throughout), it's a serious study and history of how mobs think and how that applies directly to what's going on today. Get it.

And I vehemently denounce myself for even suggesting such a thing. I'm off to JiffyLobo™!


Comrade R.O.C.K.

I strongly DENOUNCE myself for purchasing this book! And the Gretchen Morgenson book "Reckless Endangerment", too! I'll join you to the JiffyLobo™.

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COMRADES! WIN A TRIP TO ATTEND OBAMA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!

https://www.barackobama.com/50-for-50/rules
Bring 50 new people into this campaign in time for the President's 50th
birthday. Choose one or any combination of the organizing activities below—we'll
track your progress for you after you register. Once you get to 50, you'll
automatically be given a chance to be one of four supporters who will join the
President for a birthday celebration in Chicago next month.
Here's what you'll get:

Four (4) winners will each receive the following prize package (the "Trip"):

• One round-trip coach-class airplane ticket from the major airport closest
to the winner's address within the continental United States to Chicago,
Illinois, including ground transportation to and from the airport. (approximate
retail value $800.00)
• One night's stay for winner at a hotel in Chicago on
August 3, 2011 in a single-occupancy room or room of equivalent value
(approximate retail value $150);
• Admittance to a birthday celebration in
honor of President Barack Obama in Chicago on August 3, 2011 (approximate retail
value $200.00);
Approximate retail value of the each entire Trip package:
$1,050.00.
Sponsor will choose, in its sole discretion, the airline, hotel,
flight dates, flight times, departure city and airport and other Trip logistics
and details. Dates of travel are subject to availability. If winner's address is
within 100 miles of Chicago, Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, provide ground
transportation to the Trip hotel or event in lieu of an airplane ticket. Except
as expressly set forth in the description of the Trip above, each winner is
responsible for his/her ground transportation to and from the airports and
hotel, all meals and all other expenses that such winner incurs in connection
with the Trip. Sponsor will also determine, in its sole discretion, the date,
location, attendees, and all other relevant details of the birthday celebration.
But how do you enter? Why, that's easy! Just follow any one of these easy steps:

(a) Complete a Total of Fifty of Volunteer Actions Method: To enter via this
method an individual must complete a combination of fifty (50) "Actions" during
the Promotion Period and in accordance with the following rules and procedures.
Each additional fifty Actions taken by an individual after the first fifty
Actions will constitute an additional entry in the Promotion. In order for any
Action to count towards the required number of Actions, an individual must first
sign up for the Promotion using the form available here:
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50. "Actions" means any of the following four
activities performed in accordance with the corresponding terms and conditions:

(i) Collect and Submit "I'm In" Written Commitments Action:
Each
individual "I'm In" written commitment collected and submitted to Sponsor during
the Promotion Period by an eligible individual constitutes a single "Action." An
individual may obtain "I'm In" Commitment cards or sign up forms from an
employee or agent of Sponsor, subject to availability, or by printing cards from
Sponsor's website, here: https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-cards. Individuals
must then circulate and have other individuals complete the "I'm In" cards or
forms in accordance with Sponsor's instructions, where applicable. Finally, the
individual must submit the information from the completed "I'm In" cards or
forms he or she has gathered to Sponsor by entering the information from the
cards according to the instructions here:
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-cards (unless the individual is collecting
completed "I'm In" cards as part of an established program whereby the
information will be entered by into VAN and the individual is specifically
informed by their volunteer supervisor authorized by Sponsor that the "I'm In"
cards they collect will be attributed to them for purposes of the Promotion).
Any "I'm In" commitment that is forged, falsified, or obtained through
fraudulent or inappropriate means, or in violation of Sponsor's instructions may
be deemed invalid by Sponsor in its sole discretion and not counted towards the
required fifty (50) actions. Individuals are prohibited from offering other
individuals any compensation or any thing of value of any kind in exchange for
making an "I'm In" commitment.
(ii.) Collect and Submit "I'm In" Telephone
Commitments Action:
Each "I'm In" telephone commitment collected and
submitted to Sponsor during the Promotion Period via the Sponsor's call-tool by
an eligible individual constitutes a single "Action." An individual may collect
"I'm In" commitments via telephone by using the Sponsor's call tool available
here: https://call.barackobama.com. To collect valid "I'm In" commitments through
the telephone, an individual must follow all of the instructions at
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-calls, call other individuals as prompted by
Sponsor's call tool, and enter the information concerning those individuals who
have committed to being "In" as prompted. Each valid "I'm In" commitment will be
counted towards the individual's total of 50 actions. Any "I'm In" commitment
that is forged, falsified, or obtained through fraudulent or inappropriate
means, or in violation of Sponsor's instructions may be deemed invalid by
Sponsor in its sole discretion and not counted towards the required fifty (50)
actions. Individuals are prohibited from offering other individuals any
compensation or any thing of value of any kind in exchange for making an "I'm
In" commitment.
(iii.) Collect Contributions from Contributors Through A
Grassroots Fundraising Page Action:
Each contribution from a unique
contributor that an eligible individuals accepts on his or her grassroots
fundraising page in accordance with the following terms and conditions during
the Promotion Period will constitute a single "Action" An individual must first
have or create a personal grassroots fundraising page on barackobama.com. If one
has not previously created a grassroots fundraising page, he or she may do so by
visiting: https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-contributions and following all of
the instructions. Next, one must register the grassroots fundraising page in the
Promotion. Using the same email address associated with the account, an
individual must sign up for the Promotion using the form available here:
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50. Next, individuals may ask others to
contribute to Sponsor via their grassroots fundraising pages. Each unique
contributor that contributes to an individual's grassroots fundraising page
during the Promotion Period will constitute a single "Action" and be counted
towards the required fifty (50) actions. If the same individual makes more than
one contribution to a single grassroots fundraising page during the Promotion
Period, that will only constitute a single "Action." Individuals may not offer
others any prize, consideration, or any thing of value whatsoever to others in
exchange for contributing to Sponsor via any grassroots fundraising page. All
use of individuals' grassroots fundraising pages and requests for others to
contribute to Sponsor via a grassroots fundraising page must be in accordance
with Sponsor's instructions, including those guidelines available at
https://www.barackobama.com/pdf/grassro ... Guidelines. Only
contributions from contributors that comply with federal law and Sponsor's
fundraising policies will be considered as part of this entry method. Sponsor
only accepts contributions of up to $2,500 from individuals per election.
Sponsor does not accept contributions in any amount from registered federal
lobbyists, registered foreign agents, federal political action committees, or
minors under the age of 16. Contributions in any amount from corporations, labor
organizations, national banks, federal contractors, and foreign nationals are
prohibited. Any contribution made from a contributor via a grassroots
fundraising page that is solicited or obtained through forgery, falsification,
fraud or other inappropriate means, or in violation of the law or Sponsor's
instructions may be deemed invalid by Sponsor in its sole discretion and not
counted towards the fifty (50) actions.
(iv.) Host Events with Attendees
Registered on BarackObama.com Action.
If an individual registered for the
Promotion sign's up to host an event during the Promotion Period in accordance
with the following terms and conditions, every unique individual that signs up
on barackobama.com to attend that event will constitute a single "Action." An
individual must first, during the Promotion Period, sign up to host a political
event or events concerning Sponsor at https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-RSVPs to
occur during Promotion Period. Each unique attendee that signs up on
barackobama.com indicating that they intend on attending at least one of these
events will count towards the individual's 50 actions. In order to be eligible,
events must comply with Sponsor's instructions and guidelines, including those
available at https://my.barackobama.com/grassrootsresources. Any registration for
an event that is forged, falsified, or obtained through fraudulent or
inappropriate means, or in violation of Sponsor's instructions, or any event
held in violation of the law or Sponsor's guidelines may be deemed invalid by
Sponsor in its sole discretion and not counted towards the an entry. Other than
refreshments, as discussed in Sponsors' guidelines on hosting events,
individuals are prohibited from offering other individuals any compensation or
any thing of value of any kind in exchange for registering to attend an event.

Now, if by some remote chance you've managed to read this far without saying “F**k this” only to resume playing Gulagville on Facebook, then you'll be pleasantly surprised to learn that you don't really have to do any of that stuff at all:

(b) Free Online Entry Method: To enter via the free online entry method without
having to take any Actions, visit https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-alt or other
landing page specifically identified by Sponsor and complete and submit the
online entry form during the Promotion Period.
But if you want to do it that way, there's something you should be aware of:

You can also sign up for the chance to attend the President's birthday
celebration here without getting involved. But if you get the chance to meet
him, you'll have a lot more stories to tell him about how you've helped build
this campaign if you put in the time to bring 50 more people into it.

Now for the fine print:
10. General Release. By entering the Promotion, you release Sponsor and all
Released Parties from any liability whatsoever, and waive any and all causes of
action, related to any claims, costs, injuries, losses, or damages of any kind
arising out of or in connection with the Promotion or delivery, misdelivery,
acceptance, possession, use of or inability to use any prize (including, without
limitation, claims, costs, injuries, losses and damages related to personal
injuries, death, damage to or destruction of property, rights of publicity or
privacy, defamation or portrayal in a false light, whether intentional or
unintentional), whether under a theory of contract, tort (including negligence),
warranty or other theory.
IOW, you may actually have to assume some personal responsibility here. You're on your own!
As for your soul:

11. Use of Winner Name, Likeness, etc. Except where prohibited by law, entry
into the Promotion constitutes permission to use each winner's name, hometown,
likeness and/or prize information, without limitation, for promotional purposes
without further permission or compensation. As a condition of being awarded any
prize, except where prohibited by law, each winner may be required to execute a
consent to the use of his or her name, hometown, likeness and/or prize
information, without limitation, for promotional purposes without further
permission or compensation.
Because when Obama promised “free stuff” back in 2008, he meant free stuff for him—from you.

Next, the background check to make sure you're not some White European Christofascist or a teabagger hoping to crash the party and heckle Obama with some racist hate speech like “no new taxes”:

Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any person from receiving any prize
based on such background check if Sponsor determines, in its sole discretion
that awarding any prize to such potential winner could result in a safety or
security risk to any person or persons or could result in the disruption of any
event associated with the Promotion.
But this is probably my favorite part of the whole thing:

All prizes are awarded "AS IS" and WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, express or
implied (including, without limitation, any implied warranty of merchantability
or fitness for a particular purpose).

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LMAO!! And my mileage is definitely varying :)

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Pinkie, I happen to have a better as-is clause but that one is not bad. My clause is something like, "as-is, where-is, and grantor does not warrant that the property is suitable for any particular purpose and disclaims any responsibility for the failure of the property to be suitable to Grantee."

I wonder if such a disclaimer ought to be placed on all Ivy League law degrees.

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Comrades, this is fatuity to worry about The Holy One's birthday. The Queen's birthday is the same day of the year, regardless of when she was born. Since Dear Obozo's beatification AND canonization, we need the Official Birthday to be a certain date that we can make into a national holiday.

The obvious candidate is of course May Day.

Or it could be December 18, Uncle Joseph's birthday. This is just one week before the racist holiday of Christmas, so having Dear Odimbo's birthday at the winter solstice would give us a gala celebration.

We could give Felix Natus Obamae cards, done in fetching red, of course, and make new vows of denial of ourselves in service of the Greater Good.

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Try David Mamet's The Secret Knowledge: On the Dismantling of American Culture. He's a prize-winning writer for the stage and screen; he was for years part of the leftist sneerocracy. He realized that he was talking left and living right and unlike nearly everyone else, he was bothered by the cognitive dissonance. I have great respect for him.


 
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