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Bernie's solution to the loneliness crisis: bread lines

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[img]/images/various_uploads/Bernie_Empty_Shelves.jpg[/img]

PELLA, IOWA - In a recent stump speech, current Democrat frontrunner Bernie Sanders addressed the growing crisis of loneliness in America. "Being lonely is a violation of the universal fundamental right not to be lonely," declared Senator Sanders, adding that loneliness was the result of "the tyranny of the patriarchal, white supremacist, capitalist system creating too many opportunities to make individual choices."

Sanders assured the crowd that he was the only candidate who could stop this growing scourge with a simple, two-word solution.

"My policies will end loneliness for all good Americans, especially women, people of color and the undocumented," promised Sanders, "when they find themselves standing in bread lines, which is always a good thing. A good bread line not just a sign of a caring government. Long bread lines promote the sense of community and comradery by giving everyone the opportunity and time to get to know each other as they spend countless hours in line together."

The Senator went on to regale his fans with his memories of witnessing the heart-warming bonding effects of bread lines during his honeymoon in the Soviet Union.

Sanders was later challenged at a press-conference when a member of the press asked him to clarify, how exactly bread lines would help end loneliness for the "underrepresented and marginalized gluten-free persons" known to abstain from bread products.


The Democrat frontrunner's retort was quick: "If you don't like my two-word solution, I've got a three-word solution for you that is guaranteed to bring together people of all incomes, color, and sexual orientation, even better than bread lines: toilet paper lines."



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And do not forget the medical care lines. And that all-too-fleeting community activity of the 1970s, the gasoline pump lines.

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RedDiaperette wrote:And do not forget the medical care lines. And that all-too-fleeting community activity of the 1970s, the gasoline pump lines.
Oh how I remember those glorious gasoline lines. You could bond so quickly, helping push your comrade's car to the pump. Those were the days!

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Molotov Cocktale wrote:[img]/images/various_uploads/Bernie_Empty_Shelves.jpg[/img]



Aww, Bernie brought a homeless man in the store with him. Guy looks awful, life on the streets will do that to you.

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Ellsworth Toohey wrote:
RedDiaperette wrote:And do not forget the medical care lines. And that all-too-fleeting community activity of the 1970s, the gasoline pump lines.
Oh how I remember those glorious gasoline lines. You could bond so quickly, helping push your comrade's car to the pump. Those were the days!

Oh yes! Comrades Red Diaperette and Ellsworth Toohey, those were some glorious days of Amerikkkan greatness. Especially when the pumps went dry before Comrade's pushed along in line car was refueled.


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KOOK wrote:Image
--KOOK

Do we wash our hands first?

'pelipsky

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Molotov Cocktale wrote:The Senator went on to regale his fans with his memories of witnessing the heart-warming bonding effects of bread lines during his honeymoon in the Soviet Union.
I remember the Soviet-store-style bonding and comradery like it was yesterday.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Line_Store_USSR_600.jpg[/img]

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[img]/images/McLiberals_Line_522.jpg[/img]

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Socialism is so popular people line up it! For miles, and miles, and miles ...

... all day long.

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jackalopelipsky wrote: Do we wash our hands first?

'pelipsky
Yo Wash hands?
afta line fo' water.
Forget soap. dat takes petroleum don't make me shank ya!
2PacSignature.png

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Make Depression Great Again!

[img]/images/Bernie_Line_Depression_Poster.jpg[/img]


 
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