Dateline, Washington D.C. -- Today President Biden signed legislation making January 6th an annual national holiday.

Bonfire Day (as it is to be called) has been set aside as a national day of remembrance. "January 6th is to be forever remembered as the day of Donald Trump's plot to blow-up the Capitol building, the day when our democracy and the American way of life were snuffed out," the document says.

From this day forward, Bonfire Day will be celebrated in every community across the nation with bonfires and the burning in effigy of Donald Trump and any others implicated in the destruction of our free democratic government and the American way of life.

Loyal citizens will join together to reinforce the communal spirit by burning dangerous books and by peacefully looting and torching local groceries, department stores, gas stations, and car dealerships.

It will be a day of freedom from law enforcement. The police will be ordered to stand down and no criminal charges will be filed against anyone except the business owners who will attempt to defend their property, thus revealing their true colors as deniers of the ideals of Bonfire Day, which is sacrifice for the common good.

There's something familiar about this guy..."Be wary, be wary, of the 6th of January"

Gosh, Margaret, 'pelipsky could 'hear' Hillary scorching into this narrative when you got to that final sentence.

"... From this day forward Bonfire Day, January 6th, will be celebrated in every community across the nation with bonfires and the burning in effigy of Donald Trump and any others who would destroy free democratic government and the American way of life."

Reads just like her, don't it comrades? With the spit coming out and everything??

“I'm sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and disagree with this administration, somehow you're not patriotic. We need to stand up and say we're Americans, and we have the right to debate and disagree with any administration.”

― Hillary Rodham Clinton

"... From this day forward Bonfire Day, January 6th, will be celebrated in every community across the nation with bonfires and the burning in effigy of Donald Trump and any others who would destroy free democratic government and the American way of life."

― Hillary Rodham Clinton

With the spit coming out, and everything, comrades. forelocktug,'pelipsky

Ivan Betinov wrote:There's something familiar about this guy..."Be wary, be wary, of the 6th of January"

Betinov, you read my mind. I don't know whether to give you Beet of the Week for knowing what's on my mind...or to whack you upside the head with my shovel for knowing what's on my mind. Maybe the rest of the collective could vote on it. Polls are now open till 10 pm when we bust open the bathroom pipes and put up cardboard in all the windows. Then at 3 am, we'll get the mail-in ballots from the trunk of my Pinkiemobile.

Pinkie, nobody fawkes around with me. I realize I may be sitting on a keg of gunpowder here, but I sense a plot lurking about in the cellar with the "let the collective decide" ploy. We are not Parliament. Sufferin' catesby, woman! Even though it is the depths of winter, we only let the wright people make decisions. I admit that I am much like Percy Bysshe Shelley's Ozymandias, nothing but a shattered hulk of the New Soviet Man I used to be. None-the-less, I am five-for-five on sniffing out conspirators.

Ivan Betinov wrote:I am much like Percy Bysshe Shelley's Ozymandias...

Funny you should mention it, Betinov, because Percy Bysshe Shelley's wife, Mary Shelley, has written a fact-based investigation into creating a New Soviet Man from shattered human remains, including a certain brain in jar specimen. The dots are connecting themselves, comrade!

Aw, Red Square! You found my high school graduation picture! That was right after my prole carried me across the stage to get my diploma. See? He's just about to put me back in my travel case.

They're Pinkie and the Brain
They're Pinkie and the Brain...

In the spirit of keeping alive the memory of the worst day in human history so that Bonfire Day can be celebrated through time immemorial in proper context, the Democrats give the nation the great gift of the Capitol Remembrance Act, HR 1627.

I hope there're statues involved.

UPDATE

Gerard Butler to receive subpoena from the Jan 6 Commission. Mr. Butler has been present at every takedown of American democracy for the last decade, yet, was conspicuously missing on the day of January 6, 2021. His absence has sparked conspiracies that have been duly noted by the likes of Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), Liz Cheney (R-WY) and Adam Schiff (D-CA).

"When Olympus, London, and Angel had fallen, Mr. Butler was on sight to save democracy. Yet, he was nowhere to be found on January 6, 2021. "Mr. Butler owes this committee and the American left an explanation." noted Rep. Schiff.

Newly released video footage may actually put Mr. Butler at the Capital on that dreadful day. Many (that means people on Twitter) are speculating he was helping facilitate the attack. Butler has not made any public statements about his whereabouts on January 6, 2021.

And the first Wednesday in November will become National Riot Day to celebrate and defend Our Democracy™.

Colonel Obyezyana wrote:

Not one of mine but appropriate.

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No, yours are better.

There also must be harsh punishments for any bourgeois shop owners who remove or hide their best merchandise during National Bonfire Day. These capitalist dogs who attempt to undermine the spirit of retribution and reparation must be dealt with as enemies of the state.