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Bill of NO RIGHTS for LIBERALS

3/1/2009, 11:55 pm
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See what kind of HORRIBLE SCUM Jawa Report is running with???

Image YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mystery surrounds who actually wrote this. Once credited to Mitchell Kaye, a Georgia St Rep. Others say it was written in 1993 by Lewis Napper and just happened in Kayes mail. Whatever the case it sure rings true today:

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, deluded, and other liberal bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."

ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, or express a different opinion, but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to free health care That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat[pre-9/11 mindset...ed]

ARTICLE IX:
You don't have the right to a job. Sure, all of us want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness — which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

If you agree, we strongly urge you to forward this to as many people as you can. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you should you not forward it. We just think it is about time common sense is allowed to flourish — call it the age of reason revisited.

Anyone have their own articles to add??

Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov
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3/2/2009, 12:22 am
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Commisssar Obamissar V wrote:See what kind of HORRIBLE SCUM Jawa Report is running with???

Image YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is an OUTRAGE! These Thought Criminals must be Purged Yesterday, if not sooner!

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That. Is. Awesome.
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3/2/2009, 1:09 am
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Add to that Commissar? It is well that you differentiate yourself from the Criminally Insane Vodkov or I would have wondered!

Who is John Galt?
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3/2/2009, 1:28 am
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Processed him through Platform S-21 not too long ago, Marshal. He was due for a "Holiday in Cambodia." I hope he packed bugspray.
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3/2/2009, 4:02 am
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Comrade V, I have the perfect av for your new persona:

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3/2/2009, 5:49 pm
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Is Commissar higher rank than Obamissar? Or is it the other way around?

I need to know for groveling purposes.
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3/2/2009, 6:01 pm
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BLASPHEMY!!!!! As a made progressive, we are entitled to a new car, big screen televisions and cash that we did not give to the IRS. Of course Proles and Rethukkkans need to do their patriotic duty and pay ever increasing tax burdens. Another example if say I want a swimming pool and my prole neighbor's house is in my way I should be allow to have it bulldozed.

To answer your question Border Collie Patrol, it does not really matter if you are a lowly prole...I hope this helps.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith


P.S. What is your current assignment Border Collie Patrol? I happen to have and openings for a Goon Highly trained trooper, or a Manager of one of the famous Hemlock restaurants. Vodkavich is looking for car finish maintenance engineers as well. Che is looking for a beet peeler. Yes opportunity abounds here at the cube. Advancement can be rapid, assuming you grovel to the right people.
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3/2/2009, 6:07 pm
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Red Star wrote:
To answer your question Border Collie Patrol, it does not really matter if you are a lowly prole...I hope this helps.


Thank you, Commissar Red Star, for clearing that up. Before I was uncertain as to whether I should grovel more equally for some than others.
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3/2/2009, 6:12 pm
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Yes I believe you have a bright future.....Good answer....When in doubt Grovel to all
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3/2/2009, 6:24 pm
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Red Star wrote:

P.S. What is your current assignment Border Collie Patrol? I happen to have and openings for a Goon Highly trained trooper, or a Manager of one of the famous Hemlock restaurants. Vodkavich is looking for car finish maintenance engineers as well. Che is looking for a beet peeler. Yes opportunity abounds here at the cube. Advancement can be rapid, assuming you grovel to the right people.

I started out as lowly sheeple herder, but am always looking for advancement ways of becoming more equal.

Perhaps the best endeavor suited to my skills would be specialized paw soldier as beet peelers are difficult to grasp, and my nails tend to scratch through vehicle clear coat.
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3/2/2009, 6:40 pm
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Thanks for watchin' my back, Commissar Red Star. It is, of course, implied that the Inner Circle is exempt from the bill, just as we are exempt from taxes. Comrade CBP might be best suited as a goon...

Comrade Collie,
<br>You can learn about Obamissars HERE, HERE, a little bit here, particularly HERE, and do not miss HERE because it contains important Cube wisdom...

Commissar Red Star is right, btw. You best just grovel to all...

Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov
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3/2/2009, 7:00 pm
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Red Star, you and I have not been crossing paths lately. I'm delighted to know that you have lost none of your edge. Your suggestion that Border Collie become a goon highly trained trooper is I hope one of expansion rather than to fill a place lost by attrition.

For we all know that there is infinite room for thievery, chicanery, framing, finger-pointing, shaming and just plain thuggery in the Cube.

We must live up to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday(tm).
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3/2/2009, 7:26 pm
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Ahhh Kind and Generous Leader, I apologize for my absence, But I have had important peoples business in Saint Maartin The Workers Paradise of Cuba. I did think of the collective while away. I did Steal locate several gallons of Varsol I had shipped to the peoples retreat "Rancho de Rio Grande" as the MTE, was inbound. The delivery people commented when they Delivered the Varsol, they were confronted by a flame thrower, in reality it was just Bruno Lighting Farts again but the reports are that his aim is becoming better.

It was a good thing that I provided this delivery crew with a bag of chewing gum, Alf pogs, hair Squeegees, and cans of Glade floral secnts just in case they did run in to Bruno. I should be down to the Rancho very soon, to re-stock the bar, I'll bring Bruno the customary Happy Meal.



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality äINC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Keeper of the Faith
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3/2/2009, 7:33 pm
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Commissar Red,

Did you catch the post about the Obama pogs?

Commissar Theo,

Does Bruno yell "Armagedon!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the right moment??
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3/2/2009, 8:37 pm
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Dr. Strangelove wrote:I have the perfect av for your new persona:

Image

Remember, remember the 5th of November, the gun powder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gun powder treason should ever be forgot.

Very very nice, Herr Doktor. My voracious appetite for alliteration would be served verily by this vanguard of the Vox Populi as he vies to vanquish all things Bu$Hitler. The book was about fascism and anarchy while the movie was about a liberal superhero and his struggle against neo-cons and the totalitarian regime that emerged after their false flag operation, as well as against pedophiles and a Limbaugh/O'Riley crossbreed. Adopting the movie version of the character is perfect for the Party... As long as we can keep The People freakin' quiet when we begin to administer our own stiff-fisted rule, and as long as sufficient time at the KMTC eliminates their ability to remember that governments can be overthrown.
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3/2/2009, 9:21 pm
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Yes, the Ministry of Agitprop did a nice job of turning the book on its head to suit our purposes when we made the movie. We also did the same with The Manchurian Candidate.

"Commisssar" with 3 s?! I see we are still always one to overreach there, Comrade V.
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3/2/2009, 9:46 pm
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I have a history of overreaching, but not quite that much. And you did it to Red Star too??? But not _Elliott. I see where your loyalties lie, and no I will not turn my head to the side and cough!! I can understand doing it to me after that whole comment about the snow tires on your chair and stuff, but poor Red Star??? What did he do? Oh wait- cause and effect no longer exist. I've since been re-educated. I even understand that even though I'm Inner, I'm not, nor will I ever be, as Inner as you.

Still on my knees,

-COV
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3/2/2009, 10:02 pm
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Elliot and Red Star too?! Hmmm... We'll have to see who the thought criminal originator of this 3-s "commisssar" is and beat the individuality out of the individual. We can't have the spread of such things within the commune.

Deflection followed by groveling. Impressive. I see, Comrade V, that you will go far in The Party.™ Watch your back!
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3/2/2009, 10:26 pm
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Elliott is GTG, but poor Red Star... The Commissssssssar who provides many of my Car Wash Proles turned into a 3-s commisssar. :(

Passive-aggressive, when said quickly, sounds like Progressive.

-COV
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3/3/2009, 7:19 am
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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Commisssssssar

Seeing we are in "Progressive World of Next Tuesday" this could be considered San Francisco Speak. We must be politically correct. The rump-rangers, Butt Badgers would not feel included if we did not make the world sound like Steam escaping...
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3/3/2009, 11:18 am
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Red Star, now you see my problem. Between Bruno lighting farts and hissing, it's hell around here. I taught him to light farts so that Speakerette Nansky could land her big, shiny, new plane. But the hissing--do you realize that the Rancho is listed as the biggest rattlesnake den in Texas, and there's not a single rattlesnake on it? It's the hissing you see.

I too disapprove of the three S commissars. Look at all the history of glorious double esses: Social Security, Waffen-SS...

To abandon such precedents is not only silly, but immoral.
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3/3/2009, 7:17 pm
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Yesss. Sssilly and immoral! Dammit! Now they've got me doing it...
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