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Blargh... Bad Pinkie, Bad, bad Pinkie!

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Would somebody please tell me what the date is? Thank you. You see, it's all Pinkie's fault. There I was sitting in the bunker, when out of no where this shovel smacked me upside the head and bounced me into the horrifying world of last Tuesday! Oh Comrades, the horrors of it. I've spent these last few, hours? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Struggling to come back to the present day. Why did you know I had to relive the entire Bush presidency? Oh the humanity. And it's all your fault Pinkie! And on top of it, she drank my vodka and ate all my chocolate. *sigh*

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It's your own damn fault. Pinkie only uses her corrective shovel out of love & the goodness of her heart

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No, it is never my fault! It is Pinkie's fault that she ambushed me for no reason other than to redistribute my luxury goods for herself. It's not fair!™

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Luxury goods? Where???

Er....I mean, Comrade, you should be glad your wealth was redistributed, instead of going around complaining about Pinkie.

I do hope the yacht is still available.....

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
You had CHOCOLATE??

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Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:You had CHOCOLATE??
Available only in certain areas at more equal Nomenklatura Marts.

Subject to medicinal chocolate permits.

Void where prohibited.


Shop Here

*Guaranteed this is gonna ruin somebody's day.
Last edited by Vladimir_Scratchanitch on 8/30/2011, 3:22 am, edited 2 times in total.
Reason for editing this post: Forgot the Guarantee

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Comrade Colonel,
You know our Commissarka has a thing for chocolate. I'd make a piece offering if I were you. Here's the perfect gift for Pinkie:

choc  shovel.jpg

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Not much capacity for a shovel, but on a hot day it won't hurt as much when she hits.

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Vlad,

I never seen anything so decadent in all my years! Why you have convinced me that eating that pan of dark chocolate brownies sitting in the kitchen, in my line of sight, no less, is justified, and for breakfast to boot! LOL

Colonel,

It seems that you have incurred the dear Commissarka's wrath, but you have conveniently forgotten to mention the real reason she is miffed?Come on now, what exactly did you do? You're among comrades, amigo, so you can let it fly...heheheh.....come on now, tell us....

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Thank you for that wonderful tip Komrade.... I picked up a few items only reserved for Made Progs (like me)...

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Mmmmmm.... Chocolate!

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Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Oh.... and Pinkie...I picked up a small order of chocolate for you as well...

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Colonel 7.62, how dare you try to blame me for anything! Here we have hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, the Arab Spring, the Royal Wedding—not to mention the absolute stinking pile of a mess I inherited when I first came here—I mean I knew it was bad—granted, I got where I am persuading the masses that everything was just as horrible and as awful as it could be, and that they could never be any more miserable than they were at the time, and that I would remedy all of that—but that was before I had any idea just HOW bad and horrible and awful it really, really was! I was duped, and I wonder by whom? Perchance a certain Commissar of Time, who traveled back and forth in his little space-time continuum and screwed everything up, both past and future?

Colonel 7.62, this is clearly yet another blatant attempt on your part to bring down my commissariat and destroy it, simply because you can't stand the idea of a shovel-wielding, vodka-drinking, chocolate-eating commissarka. It's bigotry and terrorism, straight up.

That's right, Colonel. Anyone who's opposed to me is a terrorist. You're holding a gun to my head and threatening to blow my brains out because you'd rather put ideology before my shovel.
Well, I have a new motto for all of you naysayers: SHOVEL FIRST!

Or maybe you still have a little thing for me. You're not the only one. But I know who—or rather, what—has a big crush on you.

WHACK!!!

My shovel, that's what.

P.S. to Grigori: Thank you for the chocolate shovel! I shall dig in at once! P.P.S. to Comrade Raum: Now that's what I call shovel-ready!

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Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:Thank you for that wonderful tip Komrade.... I picked up a few items only reserved for Made Progs (like me)...
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Mmmmm. Chocolate Porn.

Now WHO IS GOING TO CLEAN THAT POOR GIRL UP?


Since YOU just had to cover her up with rich, sticky, sweet chocolate, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LICK IT OFF.

I think that should be sufficient punishment for you.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:
Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:Thank you for that wonderful tip Komrade.... I picked up a few items only reserved for Made Progs (like me)...
Image
Mmmmm. Chocolate Porn.

Now WHO IS GOING TO CLEAN THAT POOR GIRL UP?


Since YOU just had to cover her up with rich, sticky, sweet chocolate, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LICK IT OFF.

I think that should be sufficient punishment for you.

I suppose one must do what one must!

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I'm guilty of conspiracy on the chocolate covered babe. I'll take my share of the punishment.

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Tovarichi wrote:I'm guilty of conspiracy on the chocolate covered babe. I'll take my share of the punishment.

Well, you are gonna have to work that out with Raum Emmanual Goldstein, because unlike Mermaids, the best part here is covered with with rich, sticky, sweet chocolate.

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HEY! What happened to my devious plan of RUINING SOMEBODY'S DAY?

I really thought that pages full of yummy chocolate was going to cause a bunch of people to have to go to the store and buy (or shoplift) all the chocolate they can afford (or have pockets for).

I was playing with overt "subliminal advertising".

Does that mean I am a failure "subliminal salesman"?

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Raum will have to take the one completely dipped in chocolate, I'll gladly take endure the well-armed one in the chocolate brassiere and skirt... Image And it is truly punishment. After recovering from pounds of a taste of bacon that I swiped was permitted to sample, I was just getting back to fitting my uniform, and now I'll have to consume all of that chocolate. pity. A stiking figure of military leadership such as myself, and I can't get the buttons to go together, or get the bacon grease out of the sleeve, and now this! I would not ask my soldiers to do what I would not do, and I will accept the punisment for my actions. Duty Calls!

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Tovarichi wrote:Raum will have to take the one completely dipped in chocolate, I'll gladly take endure the well-armed one in the chocolate brassiere and skirt... Image And it is truly punishment. After recovering from pounds of a taste of bacon that I swiped was permitted to sample, I was just getting back to fitting my uniform, and now I'll have to consume all of that chocolate. pity. A stiking figure of military leadership such as myself, and I can't get the buttons to go together, or get the bacon grease out of the sleeve, and now this! I would not ask my soldiers to do what I would not do, and I will accept the punisment for my actions. Duty Calls!

No. No. My Dear Tovarichi.... I couldn't allow you to indulge risk yourself in such a perilous undertaking. As soon as I've managed to work out the other fair damsel's predicament, I will 'disarm' this one.

You are, however, welcome to watch.

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It's official... chocolate IS good for you: Treats 'cut' diabetes, heart disease and stroke risk
By JENNY HOPE
Last updated at 12:56 AM on 30th August 2011
London Mail, UK

Eating chocolate could cut the risk of heart disease and stroke by a third, researchers have said.

But they remain baffled as to why, and believe some of the benefits could simply stem from the ‘feel-good' effect of a tasty treat.

The biggest review ever carried out into the subject found that eating at least two pieces of chocolate a week is linked to a 37 per cent drop in the chances of developing cardiovascular disease. Those who indulged also saw a 29 per cent fall in the risk of stroke compared with those who ate fewer than two squares a week.

Read more: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2031283/Its-official--chocolate-IS-good-health-Treats-cut-heart-disease-diabetes-stroke-risk.html

Nothing said about how good it is for you if you lick it off a chocolate-covered babe.

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...and that brings us back to the "feel good" effect of a tasty treat.

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Feel good? Chocolate babes? Hmmmm... Ahhh...my mistake. I must have browsed to the Oprah Network home page. Wait, oh my Obama! I am at the People's Cube!

Get a grip Comrades. We have a election to rig. Class and race hatred to spread. This is not the time to go soft. America needs and wants HARD Communism and by Stalin's cold dead hand, we are going to deliver.

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Grigori E.R. wrote:Feel good? Chocolate babes? Hmmmm... Ahhh...my mistake. I must have browsed to the Oprah Network home page. Wait, oh my Obama! I am at the People's Cube!

Get a grip Comrades. We have a election to rig. Class and race hatred to spread. This is not the time to go soft. America needs and wants HARD Communism and by Stalin's cold dead hand, we are going to deliver.

Comrade Grigori, I am not so hot for selling Amerikans on "Cold HARD Communism".

I am more of a fan of selling Amerikans cute, fuzzy warm, "cares about YOU" Communism like Grandmother loved so much.

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https://www.buy.com/prod/the-communist-manifesto/q/loc/106/31224205.html
Last edited by Vladimir_Scratchanitch on 8/31/2011, 1:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason for editing this post: Added more smart ass stuff

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What we are missing here is that I am a Victim(TM) a Victim(TM) of Pinkie's rampages and own innate sense of Entitlement(TM).

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Colonel 7.62 wrote:What we are missing here is that I am a Victim(TM) a Victim(TM) of Pinkie's rampages and own innate sense of Entitlement(TM).
Comrade Colonel- Perhaps you need to go find a Republican and cry on his shoulder.

We are for Hard Communism, right?

If you don't appreciate Pinky COMpassionately fixing your problems, perhaps another trip to the

jiffy_lobo.png
will help you?

Fraternally,

Comrade Scratchanitch
Last edited by Vladimir_Scratchanitch on 8/31/2011, 5:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason for editing this post: Added the COM to passionately. It was the left thing to do.

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I denounce Comrade Raum Emmanual Goldstein for drooling all over the PC screen!!

Yes, I myself, thought we had traveled back in time to the Bush regime. Why is Gitmo still open? Where are the jobs?!! Where is .....

(what? no wait... that wasn't ME!! I was quoting the unloyal comrade above who..... NO, I won't go!! Let go of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Raum Emmanual Goldstein
I suppose then, Fraulein Pulloskies, you are letting me off with a warning this time?

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I think the girl in the chocolate playtex likes me...

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Of course you're aware, Tovarichi, that those boobs are milk chocolate?


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By the By, it seems to me that no one has welcomed the People's Little Pony to the collective yet. This oversight will be reported to the oversight committee of course, but we can rectify it in an entirely unofficial capacity right now, and then post-date the committee's recommendations to make it look as if we actually know what we are doing.

Welcome, People's Little Pony. Your resolute gaze into the Glorious World of Next Tuesday reflected in your Avatar fills me with inspiration and hope. May you never have an individual thought, may you never waver in your commitment to the Children, and may you never question a Current Truth.

(s)
I. Betinov
For the Central Bureaucracy

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Hey, I told her I liked her style!

I denounce your reporting!!!

And I, too, wish People's Little Pony a most equal welcome :)

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Chocolate is subversive, let me take care of it for you. Foodstamps are for the people.

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Thank you for this glorious welcome, comrades. However I apologize for having already taken it upon myself to denounce myself to Dear Leader, so I'm afraid you won't be able to do so as any sort of welcome ceremony. A show trial, on the other hand (though just as equal a hand), is still a viable option.

Heil Obama!

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Hold on just a minute little buckaroo. Let's not get crazy here. Denouncements are a dime a dozen on the Cube, but show trials are reserved for Party Members who have been around long enough to cultivate a garden of factional enemies within the Party (not that there is ever any discord within the party, mind you) and generate an aura of personal ambition best described as a "lean and hungry look." Only when you have established yourself as a threat to the Party's Inner Circle (which I must stress, does NOT exist and does NOT meet in a secret bunker complex to coordinate and manipulate Party members of lesser rank) will you rate something as showy as a show trial.

Or you could try using Chairman Punchenko's toaster without his permission.

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[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Just as a joke I'm sure (yeah right), the Comrades tossed a show trial in my honor a couple years ago.

But since what I do in REAL LIFE is fight Communists (AKA Child "Protective" Agencies) in the courts of NO Constitutional Due Process, the show trial didn't work out well for the Comrades.

As a strange result, my stature and authority was advanced by the Upper Party. In fact, I might now BE Upper Party, but you never know for sure.

So "People's Little Pony", if that's your real name, be aware that if you are enough of a pest, eventually you WILL get your very own show trial.

Fraternally,

Vladimir Scratchanitch


 
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