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Blue Ocean, Green Navy

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Comrades,

As Commodore of The People's Navy it is my solemn duty to ensure our Sailors and ships are totally in line with the current truth and the greening of our economy. It is also my duty to ensure that the Sailors, under my command shall never succumb to western decadence or hedonistic pursuits. It is these guiding principles that guides me in our continued efforts to back-fit older units of our fleet into more Eco-friendly models then previously designed.

The following is a perfect example of these guiding principles in action:

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The People's Navy Ship SPOTTED OWL is the first to receive this ECO-FRIENDLY back-fit. And after paying just a minimal green tour fee that will of course be redistributed, 4 hole round (35 bucks) proles of the entire collective can enjoy this nautical treasure.

Those proles who wish to become members of the country club and enjoy those exclusive socialist amenities unfortunately will have to pay a 30,000 dollar small annual membership fee and be vetted by my executive steering committee, as some are truly more equal than others.

Rest assured, all monies will go into the People's Navy "It's For The Children" fund of which I am executive director so you know the money will be well spent.

The People's Navy GOING GREEN fees and GOING STRONG!

In Socialist Solidarity!

Commodore Snoogie Woogums

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Glorious Commodore Snoogie!

We will save the glorious grasses of the Motherland with this wonder world touring vessel (pssst.. how the hell you gonna land the planes?!?!) and set a glorious USSA example on how to make the world a more eco-freindly place (psst... with grass even on the frigin' ocean), I am amazed at the shear brilliance this going green design (pssst... you can send the engineers back to their farms now!). Excellent work!!!

Psssttt.. please check the usual spot under the park bench for my golfing going green fees...

Hail Obama!

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I denounce this use of a People's Glorious Revolutionary Naval Vessel for the vulgar bourgeois anti-democratic "sport" of golf. There is only one proper use for this fine flagship of the workers' anti-capitalist arsenal: as a personal yacht for Her Holiness Michelle O! And make sure the galley has enough arugula and kale when she comes aboard!!! (Heads will roll if she becomes constipated again... no pun intended.) Better yet, dig up all that @#$%#$% grass and turn the flight deck into an OBAMA VICTORY OVER CONSTIPATION GARDEN!!!

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This vessel has been refitted to show the world that Hope and Change has come to the US Navy, the former purveyor of American imperialism. It's long overdue as we have much to atone for. The audacity of that imperialist war monger, Teddy Roosevelt, to frighten the world into submission with his Great White Fleet! I'm glad those days are over, and that a new era of shame, self reproach, and groveling has been ushered in (except when it comes to getting the Olympics for Chicago).

The new PSS Spotted Owl is now cruising the Persian Gulf assuring the Iranians of our good intentions and winning them over with our new tone of moral diplomacy championed by Woodrow Wilson who prevented World War I. Joint dolphin rescue operations with the Iranian Navy are already underway. If that doesn't warm your heart enough, we're actually going to give them the Spotted Owl, nuclear reactor and all, as a good will gift.

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Commodore Snoogie Woogums,

Most awesome.

Can we add Unicorn rides for our indoctrinated dear children? The children need something to do while we golf with the rest of the limousine liberals and country club republicanscomrades.

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Well, it will probably do us better in our war against capitalism then the USS Bill Clinton.

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At least it has a plane to take down American pigs!

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I think there has been an error here. What seems to be a country club and a golf field are, of course, the office of the collective farm chairman surrounded by beet fields - the new direction of of the new subsistence people's navy. In their free time the people's sailors/collective farmers toil the fields producing the beets for food and biofuel, because no people's government is going to spend money on war. (spit!)

I notice that about five percent of the fields have been correctly dedicated to crop circles, to satisfy spiritual and esoteric beliefs that most of the people's sailors/collective farmers have about the origin and the meaning of life.

To diversify their diet and enhance quality of life, any surplus of beets is subject to barter exchange with occasionally surfacing hemp-growing submariners.

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Red Square wrote:I think there has been an error here. What seems to be a country club and a golf field are, of course, the office of the collective farm chairman surrounded by beet fields - the new direction of of the new subsistence people's navy. In their free time the people's sailors/collective farmers toil the fields producing the beets for food and biofuel, because no people's government is going to spend money on war. (spit!)

I notice that about five percent of the fields have been correctly dedicated to crop circles, to satisfy spiritual and esoteric beliefs that most of the people's sailors/collective farmers have about the origin and the meaning of life.

To diversify their diet and enhance quality of life, any surplus of beets is subject to barter exchange with occasionally surfacing hemp-growing submariners.


Oh Glorious creator and founder of The Cube!

You have once again revealed the current truth. It is a floating beet field just camouflaged to look like a capitalist bourgeois golf course. This lures in the capitalistic swine who are then captured and forced to work toiling in the fields and then will receive a proper socialist re-education to cleanse themselves of their wicked and vile ways.

The five percent dedication to crop circles as mandated by Party Directive 38777-098-53 of the Fourth Party Congress session of 1954, was also integrated to look like decadent golf greens complete with a hole in the middle and flag. This was done to ensure the ruse was complete and still in compliance with our Glorious Party leadership and directives.

I also wish to inform you that guards have been placed to ensure these crop circles stay in a pristine state and will not be disturbed by proles working in the fields. I have a crack three man security team armed with clubs to protect these circles.

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I also wish to report that the fine fashion these gentleman are sporting were issued at the tool shed disguised as "The Golf Pro Shop" located in the "office" of the Collective farms chairman and sales issuance has been pretty brisk for these snappy duds.


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Snoogie - you've come a long way since you were in command of this Soviet Submarine. I discovered this classified documentary just tonight and immediately thought of destroying all traces of it lest your cover is compromised.

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Red Square,

You do know I still have my suicide pill........After that video I just my need a cup a water.


 
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