Comrades, there are always a lot of things to inspire a post on the People's Blog, but when the pickings are slim, North Korea never fails us. In fact, even when inspiration is abundant, NOKO can find a way to inspire us.

All that aside, what would inspire us to visit North Korea? How about this:

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2025/0 ... -gigantic/

Just as Beirut was once the Paris of the Mediterranean  and Havana was once the Vegas of the Caribbean, North Korea has built something that's sure to be long forgotton as what once was the Asbury Park of the Sea of Japan. That's why Kim Jong Il says...

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

I think feel that I am in emotional vapor lock.  Sort of like when I learned that clueless and/or evil youths were booking “vacations” to Rwanda in the early 2000s.  Or maybe when the young were touring the various Killing Fields™ in Cambodia/Kampuchea.  Admiring the handiwork of the Khmer Rouge.  Or when a group of AWFLs I am vaguely acquainted with made the pilgrimage to Zimbabwe to see the miracle that country has become.  At least they came home (early) and were really upset by the shabby way they were treated.  

I have no doubt the North Korean beachfront resort will be full of Eurotrash™ within weeks of opening.  

Red Salmon

The finest North Korean resort available without defecting! Enjoy free sand, barbed wire, and an optional blindfolded volleyball league. Includes rationed sun exposure and daily crab inspections by uniformed lifeguards.

Red Square wrote: ↑

6/28/2025, 11:49 am

..daily crab inspections by uniformed lifeguards.

i assume you mean clab rice.
 

Every comrade knows that having the korrect attire for strolling the promenade at a a North Korean Beach Resort is part of the experience. A comrade strolls the Boardwalk to be seen, so dressing for the occasion is vital, especially so in North Korea where Dear Leader watches at all times. Jackalopelipsky saw these outfits at a swank little Karenthian shop in Galveston, Texazistan, an island known for its own beach resort and spa vibe.


Does the TPC SUB Waffle House communist style watchers think these outfits translate into North Korean?

Dear Leader Kim is a perfect man and a role model for all humanity. If you're in Korea, your only purpose is to imitate him in every way. Therefore, expect everyone to show up on the beach wearing long black overcoats.

Red Square wrote: ↑

6/29/2025, 9:05 am

Dear Leader Kim is a perfect man and an example for all. If you're in Korea, your life's meaning is to imitate Dear Leader in everything. Therefore, expect everyone to show up on the beach wearing long black overcoats.

Right…Think NOKO not Asbury Park, so much…got it. That’s just so alien to what the jackalope grew up thinking about enjoying at an American Beach Resort Town Compound.

Thanks for the SUB Waffle House communist style watchers tip. Any Socialist faux paws the jackalope can avoid is better than a stick in the eye. Much appreciated!

In North Korea, every season is obedience season.
Same in America’s elite zip codes - they just accessorize it better.

In Pyongyang, they call it obedience.
In Portland, they call it “nonconformity” - mandatory and matching. Everyone’s doing it.

Most Supremely Equally Esteemed Comrade Red Square,

While my memories of my misspent youth are mostly blurry.  No doubt due to excessive consumption of beet vodka / antifreeze cocktails.  However I have a clear memory of one of my fellow sprouts asking a slightly older cool kid what he had to do to be a non-conformist.  I was the only one in the assembled crowd who giggled.  Maybe I was the one who “didn’t get it”.  

Burn It Floorward!™,

Red Salmon

Red Square wrote: ↑

6/29/2025, 9:05 am

...expect everyone to show up on the beach wearing long black overcoats.

I thought about that but stuck with the overcoat for a few reasons.

1.  No one said the resort wouldn't be open year-round, and I can easily imagine that disfavored members of the "Outer Party" would be assigned tickets in the dead of winter when snow is on the beach.

2.  The hottest months in NOKO may have a pleasantly cool sea temperature of ~68°F, but the air temperatures doesn't get much past 80°F with minimum air temps around 65°F. So, it's no Miami Beach.

3.  Kim Jong Un keeps his Herculean physique covered because he's a very modest man and doesn't like to see the ladies cry and swoon over the sight of their hearts' desire (a decent meal). 


4.   He burns easily.  

Of course I can't disclose the actual physical location of The Cube (if there even is one), but I will provide the geographical coordinates of a more deserving party...

I just can't decide if it should be The View, George Soros, or Zohran Mamdani Campaign headquarters.  
 

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

Why not all three?  

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote: ↑

7/12/2025, 2:56 pm

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

Why not all three?  

Red Salmon

Primarily because it would look suspicious to proffer three separate grid coordinates. Also, It pays to be patient; I removed James Gunn from consideration because I saw "Superman" last night and it wasn't nearly as woke as Gunn's pre-release hype.

Instead, I substituted George Soros for about 37 million reasons:


 

An imformant informed source smuggled these photos out of NOKO and price-gouged us  provided them to us for analysis:

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Colonel,

I think feel that a Fearless Leader who mounts his ballistic missile fleet on TELs (Transport, Erector, Launcher) understands the principle of dispersal.  I propose that providing only one set of coordinates might raise suspicions.  

Tangentially, the mention of the PRNK medium range missile (NoDong) always produced snickers in the briefing room.  We were SO immature...

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote: ↑

7/13/2025, 4:10 pm

I propose that providing only one set of coordinates might raise suspicions.  

Tangentially, the mention of the PRNK medium range missile (NoDong) always produced snickers in the briefing room.  We were SO immature...

Speaking of briefing rooms, I'm taking the liberty of declassifying this photo  of the giant monitor in the Secret Underground Bunker Situation Room (GMISUBSR).  We're surveilling Dear Leader in his own situation room and, as you can see, he's impatiently watching The People's Cube web page for any sign of incoming grid coordinates.

 
He's already smoked his fifth pack of 7.27s today alone and started bumming Virginia Slims from his sister.

And yes, the rumors are true: he does hav a "Piss Boy" who comes in with a bucket every 30 minutes.
 

The jackalope feels NOKO has everything They’z is looking for.