Image

Bowling for Retards

User avatar
Skip to about 3:00m where they discuss Obama's "special olympics" comment.



Nice cover fire Keith! Keep laying it down until Obama is in the high grass then we'll all pretend this never happened.

Count the times Keith says to Craig "What do we do?"

What do you mean by "we" White man?

Nice distraction Craig! It certainly never would of happened on Letterman!

Now let us all imagine for a nanosecond if George W. Bush had made that comment.

Good!

You can all focus on Bush Hate now that your tanks have been re-filled.

Still focusing?

Good!

Now think of all the times Bush was called a "retard".

Good!

Now we're all back into the proper PC focus.

Here is the official Party™ Truth:

That was Obama's evil stunt double, who was hired by Karl Rove.
The real Obama was back in the White House focusing on the economy.


Please fwd memo to Keith.

User avatar
Speaking as an avowed, dedicated HBO aficionada, how to deal with this had Bush said it presents quite the conundrum for me--and, I'm sure, our loyal lap dog friend the media. We'd have to choose one of the following:

(a) Call attention to the fact that here's further proof he's an idiot (DUH!) as he's mindlessly pointing out the obvious and reinforcing what the rest of us already know--Bush is a stupid idiot retard so OF COURSE the moron bowls like the Special Olympics. Only difference is no one wants to be his "hugger."

OR

(b) Express the usual outrage by condemning him in all media forms, and releasing all special needs people from group homes, etc., to riot and loot and rampage throughout our cities until they get reparations from the government in the form of $1,000,000 each.

Also reparations to their parents. I am hurt and traumatized by the idea of my special needs children being compared to (gasp) BUSH! And mind you, this has nothing to do with the money. I don't really want the money. In fact, I hate money. But I have no choice but to demand it, accept it, and blow it, because it's the only way to send a strong message to Bush that We The People will not tolerate his evil stupidity.

Surely there's a way we can do both A and B?

In the meantime, Wang Chung would have three new entries for his blog: "George W. Bush is a Retard" and "George W. Bush is a Retard Who Hates Other Retards" and "George W. Bush is a Retard Who Makes Fun of Other Retards While Too Stupid to Realize That He Himself is a Retard Even Though He Said So on The Tonight Show."

Oh, and speaking of Wang Chung, I did a little checking to see if there was anything new in Wangworld. This is the best I could do:

Comment #107 (he has others thereafter but this is the meatiest)

Obama should not be focusing on the ride. Obama should be focusing on helping black people.

Obama is a disgrace to black people.

Is Obama going to financially reward black Katrina victims for having been racially discriminated against by Bush?

Where is the money?

I don't think Obama would have any problem, hypothetically, with slavery happening all over again.

Maybe one remembers that Kanye West said,“Bush doesn't care about black people.”

We have uncovered something far more horrifying.

It is practically like Obama “doesn't care about black people.”(And Obama is black.)

There are all sorts of personalities.

There actually are screwed up black people who secretly don't like their own kind.

There may even be black lunatics or freaks who would fancy themselves prancing around wearing a KKK outfit or uniform with the swastika on it.

Maybe Obama even fantasizes about hanging black people by nooses.

I like black people.

But now, it is practically just as bad as if the white supremacist at heart, George W. Bush, is still running the country.

For example, Bush murdered a black woman—Margie Schoedinger.
<br>“One of those very least were George Bush's personal complicity in the death (murder to be precise) of my friend Margie Schoedinger in September of 2003. Determining the exact whereabouts and contacts of [then] president-elect George Bush on September 21 thru 22, 2003, should be entirely lacking in difficulty”(Leola McConnell (Nevada Progressive Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate in 2010). Retrieved November 29, 2008, from https://leolaforussenate.blogspot.com/2008/02/... ...).

Obama should have the guts to assemble workers from the FBI and/or one or more state attorney general offices and say something similar to the following:

“I, Obama, am the most powerful person in America now. Bush is no longer the president and thus no longer the most powerful person in America. I, Obama, am in control now. I, Obama, demand that the ultimate law-enforcement workers in this country investigate Bush and then proceed to have him locked away for life or executed for murdering the black woman—Margie Schoedinger. I, Obama, am black, and I find Bush's murder of Margie Schoedinger to be personally offensive. I, Obama, feel it is once again like the time of slavery when white people killed black people with no sheriff, prosecutor, or court to stop it from happening or prosecute it. I, Obama, am not going to go around in the modern-day democracy feeling like a black slave of white people—especially while I am the president of the United States. I, Obama, want Bush brought down for murdering a black woman. I, Obama, want Bush brought down for racially discriminating against black people pursuant to Hurricane Katrina. I, Obama, am going to supply financial compensation to the black people who were harmed by Bush's racial discrimination and who are still alive. I, Obama, am taken aback by Bush having been so evil in wrongfully causing the deaths of so many black people pursuant to his racist response relative to Hurricane Katrina. I, Obama, am going to take advantage of my time as a racial-minority president and not allow “Bush's KKK-Neo-Nazi mentality” to rule over and oppress black people in America.”

Obama is not doing anything about Bush's murder of Margie Schoedinger.

Obama needs to say:“I can change and act like a black person instead of disgracing myself all over the place!”

Obama needs to say:“Change—Yes I can!”

Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993



Still totin' that torch for Margie.

User avatar
What my teleprompter meant to say was "I bowl about as good as Trig Palin".

Pinkie, please tell Wang I love all of his Kung Fu movies.

It's fun being the "real" me now that I'm sworn in.

User avatar
Your O'liness! You've noticed me! You have favored me with your regard! Trig Palin! Oh, that's a jolly good rip!

Deliverer of Hope, Agent of Change! I was touched to hear you make such a humble, heartfelt expression of solidarity with my children! They have been blessed! It will make their day to learn that none other than Obama himself has proclaimed that they're just as good and as bright as he is--even if they really aren't. For none of us are. We can only but aspire to attain your divine perfection.

Therefore, you needn't apologize for anything. As president of the Special Olympics and more importantly, the nephew of JFK, Tim Shriver's "aw shucks" response to your apology showed all the benevolence and compassion for which his family, surpassed only by you, is renowned. Who better to express how me and my children should feel about this petty little distraction? Of course we know you would never have had to make a gesture of apology in the first place, were it not for the salivating VRWC smear machine, ready to twist your words out of context and use them against you.

My children are looking forward to visiting you at The People's House, to bowl and shoot hoops and ride in the Marine One helicopter and bounce on Lincoln's bed and dump everything off your BlackBerry, and best of all, being cured by you.

I love you.

P.S. When will I get my check?

User avatar
You liked that?
I'm pretty damn funny without my teleprompter, ain't I?

Shhhh....don't tell my teleprompter, but Pinkie, I have worshipped you from afar.
I have always loved the golden gleam of your sexy shovel as you make your beautiful, lucious furrows in your supple soil.
Pinkie, let me sow my beet seeds with you or I shall go crazy with excitement....the problem is...is the teleprompter. She's suspicious and very jealous. I love my teleprompter and I can't give her up, but I need you Pinkie, I want you. I've got to have you.
Please take me and make me your beet of the week!
Maybe when you bring your children to the White House we can sneak off to the Lincoln Bedoom? I'll have Michelle give a speech on Special Olympics and use the teleprompter (Michelle suspects nothing, she's rather dumb and the teleprompter swings both ways) and that will keep them both busy while we tempt fate and really make the earth move!
The dirt will fly!

User avatar
Oh my . . . oh my . . . I can scarcely believe my secret fantasies could come true! Ohh-bama! Already I feel the fierce urgency of now!

As for the teleprompter--I had no idea TOTUS was female, but I think this will work out quite nicely for all involved. I'd be happy to surrender to your stimulus package, O'ly one, but I can't possibly share you with the teleprompter. I'm strictly a one-tool comrade. Therefore, I propose matching up my shovel with the teleprompter.

Please ask the teleprompter to tell you what it or you or whoever thinks. It's well known in the Collective that my shovel digs fast and deep--so much so, it may well leave the Teleprompter stunned and speechless--but it's Friday; you don't have anything pressing until next Tuesday night, and surely she'll recover by then.

User avatar
Hmmmm...?
Appliance swapping.
I never would have thought of that, but we'll say I did, unless it reflects negatively in my popularity polls and then we'll blame Chris Dodd.
So, my sweet Pinkness, are you saying your shovel is a swinger or are you swinging your shovel?
I'll pop the question gently with Teleanor and see if she's game.
Let me tell you this though, and this is between you and me....sometimes Teleanor scrolls a little too fast and it results in my pre-mature punctuation.
You and me, my sweet little prole, we'll take it nice & easy, no fast scrolling and I'll rip your bodice and pop your beautiful babushka!

User avatar
Your O'liness, I've never let anyone else touch my shovel before--but for you, anything! Anything to stroke my hands over the hard ridges and planes of your glistening bronze pects. Anything to taste your full purple lips!

I know it will take time to reach the greatest peak of all . . . that it won't be easy . . . and it won't be quick . . . but I'm willing to give you a chance, Great O!

Just keep talking, Ohh-baaa . . . (gasp) . . . maaa! I get turned on just listening to your soaring oratory, steadily rising higher and higher.

and pop your beautiful babushka!

Oooh, don't let Red Square hear you say that, or he might think you were about to deflower my sexy grandma!
Image
Now you see where I got my looks.

User avatar
Dearest President of All Peoples of Earth,

Your Teleprompter... I hear it is a... a... a she. I... I... Uh... I was wondering if your Teleprompter and I could, uh, could maybe go out for dinner and a movie. Uh, with your permission, of course! Yes, with your permission!

User avatar
Quick, get a bucket of water to throw on these comrades!

Pinkie, we have not communicated much, however, I have admired your brilliance and wit, as well, and not long ago, advised Gulag Man, a newly arrived comrade, in another post (The People's Vodka), that he would be able to learn a great deal from you, and now, look at this example you are setting! Such impropriety with the Chairman at this juncture.

It is always the woman who is more equal in this situation. I cannot fault the men, as much as you. Have yourself some beet chips and vodka, and get control of yourself!

User avatar
I was wondering if your Teleprompter and I could, uh, could maybe go out for dinner and a movie.
Chairman, I swear, if you lay one finger on Ms. Teleanor Prompter, I'll have Timothy Geitner revoke your Reserve Note printing press rights!
Then I'll have Chef Rahm fix you some sushi and a government peanut butter sandwich.
Who do you think you are? Some kind of Special Olympian like Bong Boy Phelps?
Get a penicillan shot and a doctor's excuse and I'll think about it.

I still don't understand why some small minded people are upset over my "Special Olympics" comment. See what happens when you try and give the masses a "teachable moment"? As the old saying goes "Sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm rubber and Republicans are glue so my words that hurt bounces off me and sticks to them too".

My sweet Pinkness, I was talking about your red bandana which is also called a babushka. I want to see your foxy locks fall down on your shoulders and the sunlight in your hair.
Wait a minute!
Red bandana? Are you a "Blood"?
Man, if my Crip brothers find out, they'll bust a cap in my semi-black ass and make me the star of a snuff flick.....
Oh...this could be dangerous...but it makes it even more exciting...Pinkie, are we doomed to be star crossed lovers like Romeo & Juliet?

User avatar
Dearest 'Oly One,

Yes, I knew you were referring to my red headscarf. It's just that Red Square once told me, long ago, that whenever I talked about wearing my babushka, he had this picture of a little old lady curled up on my head--rather like Davy Crockett's coonskin (oops!) cap that resembled a sleeping furry animal with a bushy tail. You know what a stickler Red is when it comes to his Mother Tongue, and I want only to please him . . . but not as much as I wish to please you!

As for gang colors, well, that depends. My red headscarf was originally Che Guevara's neckscarf; could he have been a Blood? As he lay dying and I knelt weeping over his cold, stiffening, moldering body, my nose started running something fierce and since I couldn't find a dry patch on my sleeve, I took the red cloth from around Che's neck to blow my nose; then afterward I tied it around my head where it's been ever since--rather like Darth Vader's helmet.

I've never let anyone remove my red headscarf or look beneath it--but for you, O'liness, ANYTHING!

Leninka: I'm surprised by your attitude. Don't you see what's happening here? I'm about to become one with The One! I do believe you're jealous, because you're still stuck with the rest of the Hussies lulling yourself to sleep at night with thoughts of Barack and Michelle spooned together in bed, he caressing her well toned arms, while Mrs. Robinson snores away in the spare bedchamber down the hall. Whereas I, Pinkie--I have been Chosen!

As for the Chairman, he's still on the rebound from his toaster (and probably his broken Hummels, too) and scarcely knows I exist.

User avatar
Commissarka Pinkie,

Perhaps I was incorrect. I do see your usefulness, as possibly the "Pink Rose of Georgia," likened to the "Yellow Rose of Texas," who kept General Santa Ana busy and away from the battle of San Jacinto, that is, if we ever needed to stage a coup.

User avatar
Who is this uppity biatch Leninka?

Damn Girl? Have you ever heard of Lady Bic?
I bet she doesn't even do her pits!
Man, if it wasn't for all that facial shit, I'd be turned on with that uppity thang.
But man, I think it's a man.

Meow, you can have this one.
I'm keeping Teleanor but soon I'll be rollin' with Her Pink Majesty..Oh yeah! way downtown.

Pinkie, it's OK, you can say "coonskin" just as long as you're gettin' some of that skin...You dig? You know... doin' that shovel thing you do so good...Oh..where's that cold shower...I gotta stop thinkin' like this...what about Teleanor?
Damn, that Pinkie is messin' with my mind!

User avatar
Leninka: I do like that Pink Rose sobriquet, so I will now attempt to intercede on your behalf.

Your O'liness:

Before we go any further, I'm afraid we have some damage control to deal with. Rush and Hannity and Faux News and everyone else in the right wing smear machine are sure to have a field day with your charming little joke about Leninka's hirsuteness. You know how the right has no sense of humor whatsoever, and they'll jump on any little thing you say and blow it all out of proportion to distract the masses from their own failures, and their secret plot to bring back Bush as dictator for life.

Nor do they understand how overwhelmed and exhausted you've been lately, dealing with this great unholy mess you've inherited from Bush. You're only human, and who among us, at one time or another, hasn't snickered under our breath and muttered crude remarks about chicks who don't shave? It only makes you more like One Of Us. Only you're not really One Of Us. You are The One.

Therefore, I suggest you call the chairperson of the Special Association for Hairy-Pitted, Bushy-Legged and Furry-Faced Women of America, Ms. Rosie O'Donnell, and apologize to her for your remarks about Leninka. Rosie will go on all the morning news shows to praise you for your compassion and understanding, while you, in turn, will have another Teachable Moment for America, and the masses will adore you more than ever.

But I must beg of you to pretty please give up Teleanor, just as I am giving up my beloved shovel to be with you. I don't know what kind of HO you think I am, but I can only handle one tool at a time.

Now talk some more sexy dirty to me, Obamagastic One!

User avatar
Hmm. . . we should distract the sheeple by using some stupid clip of the Bushitler, like a montage of stupid pictures and how he looks like a monkey. While the clip is playing, we take all clips of this faux pas, including media clips like the above, and burn them in the memory hole!

User avatar
I got this in the mail today from local Brooklyn Young Republicans. Fits right into this thread, no?

Image



 
POST REPLY