Breaking News: Weiner Resigns!

Representative Anthony Weiner (S-NY) fell victim today to yet another MCarthyesque Republican witch hunt in the face of entirely unproven accusations that he engaged in "sexting" numerous womyn. Despite the fact that Representative Weiner confessed to sending the alleged photos of his alleged self displaying an allegedly enraged set of alleged wedding tackle, and further confessed to allegedly lying about his Twitter account being hacked and later allegedly changed his story to state it was a prank, and then allegedly stated that he couldn't be sure if there were in fact any alleged photos of his alleged sexual organs floating around cyberspace, the probability that this is a Republican plot cannot be discounted.

Representative Weiner is by his own admission a liar, so who is to say he isn't lying about the entire confession, and what business is it of ours anyway if he was posting photographs of his "Little Tony" to all manner of women, regardless of their age? All men do this on a daily basis. This is undoubtedly George W. Bush's fault in some way.

"It was a hard decision to make," said Weiner, "I will probably beat myself over this." He went on to praise his staff, particularly those members who helped him "keep his stroke at the oars steady as he worked like a galley slave" for the interests of the Middle Class. "I've always considered myself one of the biggest tools in the job of erecting a new nation with my Democratic colleagues in the House," Weiner continued, "but in the cold harsh light of political reality my resolve has shrivelled. At the request of former Speaker Pelosi and on the advice of President Obama, I have decided to take my package and withdraw from public life."

When asked what the future held, Weiner replied that he was considering an offer from CNN to host "Hanging Out With Anthony Weiner," a news commentary program to follow Eliot Spitzer's "In the Arena."
 

NcCarthyism indeed has claimed another brave stalwart of the People! However, I am a bit confused. Time and time again I have seen this phrase used in regard to Comrade Weiner: "a once-promising political career."

Had anyone even heard of the name Weiner in relation to a particular representative before? Down south, we really don't use that name in a general way if you catch my drift, and I never heard of the man until he was attacked for no reason by rethuglicans!
 

Comrades, when life hands you a beet, you make borscht. With Weiner's resignation, his seat is now open for a replacement.

This is our big chance to get a KENNEDY back into Congress!

Who shall it be? Should we try Caroline again? Or how about Maria Shriver, who hits the Democratic Party jackpot by being:

1. Female
2. Also a Kennedy
3. The wronged wife of a philandering schmuck.

When it comes to playing a hand of victim cards to get elected as a Democrat, that's almost a royal flush.
 

Anthony who? Never heard of him!
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Comrades, when life hands you a beet, you make borscht. With Weiner's resignation, his seat is now open for a replacement.

This is our big chance to get a KENNEDY back into Congress!

Who shall it be? Should we try Caroline again? Or how about Maria Shriver, who hits the Democratic Party jackpot by being:

1. Female
2. Also a Kennedy
3. The wronged wife of a philandering schmuck.

When it comes to playing a hand of victim cards to get elected as a Democrat, that's almost a royal flush.
Yes! Yes! And more YES! We need to open a thread and have a People's Competition to see what Kennedy should fill the vacant seat.
 

I can see a long and hot career for Weiner ahead...


 

Well, America's long nightmare of bad Weiner puns is finally over.

Red Square, are you suggesting that Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder are planning a palace coup in 2012?
 

Commissarka Pinkie

Comrades, when life hands you a beet, you make borscht. With Weiner's resignation, his seat is now open for a replacement.

This is our big chance to get a KENNEDY back into Congress!

Who shall it be? Should we try Caroline again? Or how about Maria Shriver, who hits the Democratic Party jackpot by being:

1. Female
2. Also a Kennedy
3. The wronged wife of a philandering schmuck.

When it comes to playing a hand of victim cards to get elected as a Democrat, that's almost a royal flush. I vote to bring back the real Ted ... Senator Dead Kennedy. Just like a Weekend at Bernie's kind of thing. No one would notice that he is less than "animated", they would just think he is drunk.
 

Maria has my vote. There is something charming about Maria that really warms my bleeding heart. I think it is the rigid features on her demonic face that moves me so much. No, wait. OK, nevermind, that movement was just bad gas.
 

There is only one Kennedy for me, and that is our very own Chairman! But I know he is too busy for such a lowly office and we really could use a wife of a philandering schmuck as the Commissarka suggested. Then again, why not just another philandering schmuck? We have plenty enough of those here no doubt.
 

Chairman M. S. Punchenko

...We need to open a thread and have a People's Competition to see what Kennedy should fill the vacant seat.
I nominate Chairman Punchenko, who as we all know, has successfully impersonated a Kennedy many times, and one time did a "Kennedy Cop" routine. I've always said there aren't enough military and law enforcement professionals among the Democrats in Congress. This may just be the ticket.
 

Marshal Pupovich

Then again, why not just another philandering schmuck? We have plenty enough of those here no doubt.
Careful, Marshal, with those insinuations in our good company. A lot of honest, decent, and sensitive progs around here may get very, very offended.
 

The evil GWB told him this was a surefire way to get undreamed of publicity and to make a name for himself. Both were mission accomplished. The part about "who cares" was a little poor judgement.

Major says: PJ is an epidemic in DC.
 

Weiner lost his job in this tough economic climate. You know it's a tough economic situation when a mere Clintonesque circumstance causes unemployment even in the House of Representatives.
 

Damn those ATMs!
 

Fisting and Wristing for Winning The Future!
 

Laika the Space Dog

Fisting and Wristing for Winning The Future!
I'm afraid that fisting and wristing alone may not be enough for winning the Future. It should be fisting, then wristing, then elbowing, then shouldering. If that doesn't work, there's also necking and nosing.
 

channeling......... channeling........



 

Comrades,
I'm thinking the natural replacement for Comrade Weiner is Huma. As the #1 personal aide to our beloved MTE she would be a natural. We wouldn't even have to change the election posters.

As for Comrade Weiner? Maybe "American Prog" hosted by Anthony Weiner with People's Cube members as judges?
 

Grigori, I too thought of Huma. Female, Democrat, Hillary Operative, wronged wife of a philandering schmuck. I believe she's also a Muslim!

You can't get any better than that unless she's also a Kennedy! And we don't have a Kennedy in Congress right now. It just isn't right without a Kennedy.

Could we make Huma an honorary Kennedy?
 

And don't forget that 'Lil Tony backed down in something like 12 hours to resign. I don't know if that's a record or anything, but you can be sure that MTE taught Huma how to assert the authority of the infamous Testicle Lockbox™.
 

Shovel 4 U

channeling......... channeling........

Copy of deadtedsez.jpg

Terry Gilliam would salute you no doubt S4U!!! That is one terrific photoshop.
 

I vote for Dead Ted the Dead Kennedy!!! Boys, you're singing it wrong! Kill the RICH!!!!
 

Commissarka Pinkie said;"Could we make Huma an honorary Kennedy?". Of course Commissarka. The People's Ministry of Documents can produce any documentation we need. They have a lot of time on their hands after producing Dear Leader's long form birth certificate.

Oh, and Huma is a Muslim. She was born in Pakistan and raised in the United Arab Emirate.

Comrades,
I've had a lot of experience with our Necro-Comrades and other than voting the proper Democratic ticket they are a real pain in the butt to deal with and maintain. Just keeping their body parts from falling off is a full time job. The "Tedster" is best left where he is, where ever that may be.
 

Most Esteemed Acephalic Brain in a Jar gave us

Comrade Vienna Sausage

"...helped me keep my stroke at the oars steady as he worked like a galley slave for the interests of the Middle Class.
I didn't know that Weiner two two of them. If they are of considerable size, he might be interested in becoming a cyborg with the Turbo-hydromatic Hildo Mark Seven.

He has nothing else to do, does he? And what better than servicing our Dear Many Titted Empress? That is the height of service to the nation--serving someone who will tear it down into a fairer one.

I shall miss Tony Dick myself. Only he can state with a straight face that he's working for the Middle Class, when he's actually impoverishing and enslaving it.

But he admitted he's a liar.

Is that a lie in and of itself?

Never heard of Zeno. Never heard of him.
 

OK I know I am late to this topic and the video is old news. But we must not ever forget the teabagger's that disrupted Comrade Weiner at his historic speech in his moment of sorrow and repentance. We must avenge this! Damn Rethuglican must have suffered from Penis Wiener envy, or perhaps Oedipal complex.





Mwah hahahahahahahahahahahaha LMFAO at this loser. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE Made my f'ing day this prog weiner got castrated (no pun or self-deprecating humor intended).

Too bad this couldn't fester in the 24/7 news cycle at least until 11/2012 though.

It's a shame we never found out the truth if he has a > 7 inch package or not.

Perhaps Weiner had a personal need for Egalitarianism and why he was a champion for the under-dog ... er under-weiner I mean. Forgive my glee folks, I'm happy than a puppy dog born with 2 weiners to lick! hehehehehehehhe
 

Castrate, please do not revel in the misfortunes of dear Tony Weiner. What a loss for us Made Progs.

My eyes still fill with tears as I think of him, his 14" pencil neck swimming in his collar, his face looking like a shoe with a pickle in it, pointing a bony finger and shouting in the well of the House.

I do worry for him though--he has been so ardent in being the People's Representative that no on on either side can stand him. Such are the wages of being a good prog.
 

One can only Hope ™ that our hard working esteemed Weiner finds his way to academia to further promote the liberal arts.






 

S4U, overnight I had a dream, and in it the Ghost of Stalin Past came to me. "Father Prog," he intoned, "I have a plan for Anthony Weiner. With that skinny neck and big head, he'll be the perfect vibrator for Our Many Titted Empress. You can retire the Turbo-hydramatic Hildo."
 

Father Prog Theocritus

S4U, overnight I had a dream, and in it the Ghost of Stalin Past came to me. "Father Prog," he intoned, "I have a plan for Anthony Weiner. With that skinny neck and big head, he'll be the perfect vibrator for Our Many Titted Empress. You can retire the Turbo-hydramatic Hildo."

Father Prog,

This is a most distressing premonition. I shudder the visualization of such a fate!

This is right on par with Osama's "72-virgin surprise" that he was confronted with, as he stepped through the hot dark threshold of eternity, only to find the "72 virgins" where really 72 virile, motivated swine seeing for the first time Osama's rectum as a female sexual entry point.
 

Corporeal Whinny

Father Prog Theocritus

S4U, overnight I had a dream, and in it the Ghost of Stalin Past came to me. "Father Prog," he intoned, "I have a plan for Anthony Weiner. With that skinny neck and big head, he'll be the perfect vibrator for Our Many Titted Empress. You can retire the Turbo-hydramatic Hildo."

Father Prog,

This is a most distressing premonition. I shudder the visualization of such a fate!

This is right on par with Osama's "72-virgin surprise" that he was confronted with, as he stepped through the hot dark threshold of eternity, only to find the "72 virgins" where really 72 virile, motivated swine seeing for the first time Osama's rectum as a female sexual entry point.

Comrade Whinny,

Although you shudder the visualization of the MTE along with her Instrument of Pleasure™, I do have a visual of Osama's "72-virgin surprise".

For your enjoyment and possible use as masterbation material ....

http://www.mgparrish.com/obl.htm
 

Comrade Infidel,

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about baby! WOO HOOO!
 

Assuming that that's NSFW, I will look forward to watching that after my shift is over, Infidel.
 

Princess, I must confess that it made me cry.
 

R.O.C.K. in the USSA

Princess, I must confess that it made me cry. Hmmm, well, there is a certain amount of empathy people sense when they go to the psych ER suicidal and the person evaluating them cries, so maybe I should watch it anyway.
 

We have a cognitive problem. Weiner is, I'm guessing, a Jew, but he's also a complete and total swine. There are some swine that will cross the mud wallow to get away with him.

Osama is getting the attentions of 72 swine. I have always felt that there was some sympathy between the Prog Party and Islamic theocratic totalitarians. Hey, Marx or Allah. Both want everything. What's to choose?

Do you think that Weiner would be better suited giving his attentions to Osama wherever Osama is?
 

Father Prog,

I was merely trying to draw an equal comparison to the proposed fate you would intend on Herr Weiner. It's some grisly imagery.

I believe if you want to use the Weiner as a replacement for the Turbo-hydromatic Hildo™, maybe we can swap the MTE for Auntie Semitic instead. Afterall, Herr Weiner, being the liberal-first Jew pleasuring a formaldehyde prune ultimate anti-Semite, would be the pinnacle of irony.

Progs and Islamists do have much in common, but I am willing to bet when the rubber meets the road, that Prog heads will decapitate just the same as everyone else.

I'm sure Osama is getting exactly what he deserves right about now. He never seen it coming.
 

Whinny

Afterall, Herr Weiner, being the liberal-first Jew pleasuring a formaldehyde prune ultimate anti-Semite, would be the pinnacle of ironyI'm off to Jiffy-Lobo for an emergency treatment for laughing so hard.

And I'm going to get my Superheterodyne Phased-Antenna Array Tin-Foil Hat readjusted.

Whinny, repeat after me. Just because everything that the administration of Lord Obozo has done has been to throw Israel under the bus, that doesn't mean that he is after all anti-Semitic.

If you don't believe me, count the Democrat Jews in New York. After all they've suffered, more than any other extant people on earth, they would know who was going to throw them overboard, wouldn't they?

Of COURSE they would.