Call the cops - I'm offended


BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINGGGGGGGG..........BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINGGGGGGG
CLICK....
MU POLICE: "911 Emergency Center University Police Department. What's your emergency?"
STUDENT: "Uhh.....I'm in my room cause,...uhh....somebody, like... made me uncomfortable."
MU POLICE: "Can you provide a detailed description of who made you uncomfortable?"
STUDENT: "Ahhh.....I can't remember, dude! Like,...I'm totally stressed out!"
MU POLICE: "Did you get a license number or vehicle description?"
STUDENT: "Yo,....! Now you're like stressing me, man...."
MU POLICE: "Turn off all lights and lock yourself in your safe-space till the trauma and grief counciling teams arrive."
STUDENT: "No way, man....my safe-space is totally out of fudge brownies and milk, dude."
CLICK....


I'm now in hiding, thanks to the failure of our elected officials to properly train the 911 operators and the local law enforcement officers who seem to think I was making prank calls to the emergency hotline.
It's not like I couldn't get my Chicken McNuggets. I had a personal emergency!
This just proves that the police are racist!


Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wisely
I'm now in hiding, thanks to Melissa!
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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt
That just ruined my safe space. Not only am I in hiding but now I'm going to be suffering from nightmares!Comrade Hopping Mouse!
Look in the mirror at the back of your... Ahem...pants, then check out the strange collar on Mzzz Click's sweater - notice any similarity? One has a tail-hole, and the other an






No fooling, after leaving the Army, I worked as a 911 operator for two years. I had my share of McNugget calls, but I had an "offended lady" in my last week call in. Her boss made her stand outside the shop holding a sign. Drivers stopped and propositioned her for sexual acts... She called me. I asked her where she worked and the nature of the sign...

Yep, she was offended, and she came in to make her statement personally.
Yes, she was a hot little teenager...


FORWARD to 100% EFFICIENCY! Celebrate the operators and those who denounce their roommates for not being PC!


I'm surprised Ivan the Stakhanovets remembered our first encounter when he
No fooling, after leaving the Army, I worked as a 911 operator for two years. I had my share of McNugget calls...
Yes, she was a hot little teenager...
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Well thank you Ivan!
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Comrade Putout
I'm surprised Ivan the Stakhanovets remembered our first encounter when he
No fooling, after leaving the Army, I worked as a 911 operator for two years. I had my share of McNugget calls...
Yes, she was a hot little teenager...
.
Well thank you Ivan!
.




Captain Craptek relaxing in his study after winning a 'Best On The Cube' award yesterday - November 13, 2015.
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No one has any idea who maintains this beautiful and most extravagant tribute to internet posting excellence.
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Here is the award as shipped to Crappy.
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Comrade Putout
.Captain Craptek relaxing in his study after winning a 'Best On The Cube' award yesterday - November 13, 2015.
.
No one has any idea who maintains this beautiful and most extravagant tribute to internet posting excellence.
.
.
Here is the award as shipped to Crappy.
.

Comrades,
I'm touched and,... and <sniff> deeply honored that the esteemed Comrade Putout has seen fit to bestow the much sought after "Best Pair" award to little ol' me... sigh.... I think I'll keep her in my bedroom for the time being. (at least for tonight) I hope you aren't jealous Ivan - you May get an award some day, too - May, being the operative word.


And for months I've believed the "Beat of the Week" award was.cancelled by Rethuglikkkan sequester of funds. Who knew!
Nice award comrade, do enjoy it...


Ivan the Stakhanovets
Nice pair! We understand not hearing from you for the rest of the weekend, as you a will be polishing one up...(the trophy)And for months I've believed the "Beat of the Week" award was.cancelled by Rethuglikkkan sequester of funds. Who knew!
Nice award comrade, do enjoy it...
Comrade Ivan,
I chuckle at your wet blanket, downer, spoilsport, bummer, buzz kill, party pooping comments, but prefer studying the means by which Comrade Putout's likeness is attached to the base of my award. Once that has been determined, my future snuggling satisfaction is assured. And so, I bid you good day - there's more work to be done!