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Cat Slanders Democrats!

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Comrades, as a loyal party dog, I am not a bit surprised that a cat would slander our useful idiots in such a manner, but I know you need to see this for yourselves! Unthinkable! You know, I suppose I should also point out here that the obese one, the imperialist war mongering Bush loving Rush Limbaugh also likes cats...<br>
<center><img src="https://members.cox.net/pupsdoghouse/Get Fuzzy.jpg"></center>

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I saw that in the Sunday Funnies yesterday. My brother ended up cutting it out, making copies of it, and put one in his school binder, and the other tacked to his wall.

Bucky does have his moments. Especially when he's selling his MonkeyWhere? apparel. I wonder if I could get one of those shirts.

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I hope you have renounced your brother for supporting such slander against our progressive democrats? Yes, they are a weak and generally do not have a clue about the true nature of our glorious revolution, they have been useful in shaping public opinion against the imperialist Bushitler regime, and weakening the resolve of their crusader war machine.

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And for all of our "inner puppies"

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Brought to you by our fine comrades at the following gulags.

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Ah, how well I remember that glorious book!

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Ahhhh Kitten, the other other other white meat.

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We best get back to the Party's business before SMO or even Meow denounces us!

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OH.... MAH.... DARWIN!!!!!!!! What is this slanderous gutter gleam doing here!? Who authorized this (or in SMO's case... Who authorised* this!?)!!?!??! I... am... so... disgusted and... and... quick! Someone get me some smelling cash! Oh my, feeling faint... feeling faint.... <passes out>

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I'll save you Meow!

<runs to side and removes Meow's wallet before stuffing it inside trench coat>

I'll be back in a second!

-off screen-

<beats prole with Russian made Swiss Army Poodle and takes his wallet too>

I'm back with the smelling cash!

<waves under Meow's nose>

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Now you've gone and done it... just when I was about to finally get to sleep, I've got to paddle aaaaaaaaallll the way over to Bunker XXX, turn off all the freaking alarms, open the safe, count and pack up the appropriate amount of $oft Ca$h to generate the 'whiff' of... the 'whiff' of.... well... whatever the hell it is (I've always suspected that since most cash has at least some traces of cocaine on it, that it is the concentration of it that accrues on any pile of bills over time that actually wakes him up... not that I'm about to start him along the road to a nose-candy habit... it's bad enough watching him snort draino)... get it all packed up, water-proofed, paddle back over to the Golden Palace, wrestle with those damn lead-lined chenille velvet curtains and his solid gold bedroom doors, strip him (YES!!! STRIP HIM... he's incredibly high maintenance) drag his sorry ass up on the bed (which is not so easy as it looks... do you know how difficult it is for a dolphin to get a dead weight up on a round water bed... and it's not like it helps that it's a 'water bed'... Jeezus... what you people call a water bed! Humans can be such freaks sometimes - and I'm lumping dogs along in there right about now, just to be - as Theocritus puts it - pissy... and yes... it feels VERY good)... get his faint neked ass up on his goofy round water bed, get the cash all unpacked and then sprinkle it over him just so, making sure enough falls in his face so he can rub it in the cash... and then watch him roll around in it until he fully regains consciousness... making sure all the while that he doesn't vomit and choke on his own puke...

And just for that, The Rat-Thing denounces both Pupovich and TankoGrad!

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SISTER MASSIVELY OPIATED DENOUNCES BOTH COMMISSAR PUPOVICH AND COMRADE TANKOGRAD AS CAT-HATERS!!!

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FEAR MY ZIPPER TEETH - THIS IS NO SMILE, DESPITE WHAT SILLY LAND-MAMMALS MIGHT THINK... THEY ARE THE THING OF NIGHTMARES!!! (Just ask our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Director of the People!)

Pupovich can wash his own boxers... Housekeeping breaks with Pupovich... TankoGrad can just keep doing whatever the hell he was doing as he is not qualified for Kommissariate at present... I leave that to Glorious Red to decide... But SISTER HAS HER LIMITS! And you can't use my SAD light either!

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN... MEOW... WAKE UP!!!!!

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I like cats too. They make such great targets. Unfortunately my neighbors supply of wandering cats has run dry and I have had to travel to different neighborhoods in my white van, aim my 20mm anti-material rifle out the window, and practice my aim from there. Although when the cops show up, bribing them is always a bit hard because we have not taxed them to the point where they think that 25 cents is enough to let go a small infraction like that.

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Betty! Shame!... do you wish to cause further damage to Meow?

Let's not forget who is our chief fundraiser around here, and have a little loyalty... who is it that keeps you in poodles when our crops fail?...

Pah!... I am disappointed with the lot... no loyalty... no loyalty at all... what example this sets?... it is as if some MIME has infiltrated and is causing unrest... I think I'll send out a sweeper crew, just to be sure that nothing untoward has been slipped into the ventilation system or the water supply...

... and Pravda nowhere to be found... Laika preserve us... where is my tinfoil hat?...

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At least I'm kinder than some other people I know. One of them takes the cat, puts it in a pillowcase, and sticks it in the dryer for 15 minutes. At least I make sure that it's quick and painless, although I don't think the dryer actually terminates them. I think all it does is make their fur all static electrified so anytime they try to sleep on your car, they get zapped.

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Oh my..... where am I and what has happened to my pants??? I see I'm resting in a pool of my own filth.... no wait.... that isn't filth, that's the Hsu funding. Ahh, Hsu money... mmmmm... I can smell Shanghai all over Wa$hington's White Heteroracist face! Where is my wallet!? I had some broad's phone number in there... you know, the pasty faced one I met at Dr. P's last Art gala! Where is it!? WHERE IS IT!? She said her father was the CEO of GE! CEO OF GE I TELL YA! Dammit... that's the seventh wallet I lost this week and this time it wasn't the result of a dangerous person waving a BANNED FIREARM, MIND YOU, in my face! Dammit! When will these oppressed types realize that we banned firearms so they couldn't get them! And here they are, waving firearms and taking my wallet six times this week! Sheesh.... well, at least the law-abiding idiots don't have guns... I'll be able to sleep well tonight knowing that much.

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I think cats are nice (better, got three), but I always get this feeling that they like to stay up at night to try and figure out hos to kill us.

Do not worry SMO. I am sure that this cat is the exception and not the rule. Just watch out! The movie Cats and Dogsdoes come to mind.

Here Chairman, an extra 20 exploitation units for waking up......

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Meow, Darling... I believe Betty has your wallet...

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The daughter of the CEO of GE?!?

<turns back and begins flipping through wallet speedily>

Where is it...

<holds up piece of paper>

HELL YEAH!

<runs to nearest phone>

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I'll leave you two to it...

Pointy Red... come over to Shit Happens Blog... coffee is ready...

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Comrades! I am shocked that I find I must defend myself from unwarranted accusations about my character. No doubt you are unaware of the tireless work the Pup put in to organized the first Cat Olympics. It was the Pup who designed the Cat Hurdle Jump machine that brought hours of joy to train the beasts as they ran in a rotating drum with evenly spaced hurdles. Weather is no obstacle as it is in a covered "gym" and in winter can be heated, or if the weather is warm, it can be tumble dri... er...cooled. I could mention many of the other exercise and training facilities that the Pup has been involved with, but the Pup really does not like to have such attention drawn to himself.

In fact, the Pup sees the cat beast as being the perfect socialist animal. It does no useful work, yet expects to be fed and pampered as if it is owed this.

If that is not enough evidence, the Pup will demonstrate how he loves cat beasts....<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickpupe/dog lick.gif"></center><br>Any questions?

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yes... when was the last time you worked diligently to keep any of the bunkers pest-free?... perhaps this seems a little thing, but when the cold months come and vermin such as mice, rats, and progressive trotsky monsters and the like try to come in from the cold and attack our grain stores and cereal boxes, sugar and chocolate and coffee and butter, not to mention any other thing they can chew through such as electrical wires - for our Appliance friends - particularly those that would bring us The Frequency - dogs, no matter how loyal (and in this I do not at all speak of Laika, the Hero Dog, Friend of the People and Preserver of all that is Good in the The People's Cubisphere... Protector of The Frequency (Kenneth), Giver of The Signal to Tinfoil Hats, and Chief Reverend of The Church of Reformed Latter Day Climatologists <our Reverend L. Space Dogged>.... ) are no substitute for Cats, and given our cross species tolerance I am horrified that you of all Commissars should think this appropriate... You are supposed to be an example and yet you behave like a common prole... you are surrounded by a Politburo filled with different species as well as those who have Cube sanctioned relations with them... different appliances and those who have Cube sanctioned relations with them... different vegetables and those who have Cube sanctioned relations with them... soon you will be suggesting we peel vegetables... that we allow the Progressive Trotsky Monsters to run amok, chewing through the cords of the Hildos, or worse, allowing the beast to interfere with Hero Dog Laika's broadcasts!!!... what will your good friend Theocritus say to that I wonder?... hmm...

Sister agrees... it is more than enough evidence to demonstrate how "The Pup" loves cats... I will add it to the other evidence and it will be duly presented in time...

Other questions can wait for the inquisitio... I mean inquiry...

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I will have you know this Pup has indeed been squashing roaches and killing rats. It's nothing. Of course we working dogs are more properly used to guard prisoners (which you will no doubt find out soon enough), sniff out suitable donors for Her Highness, keep guard over her campaign chest etc. But I thought I was clear when I said that of course the Pup likes cat beasts? Where is this alleged evidence of cat hate speech? They of course are useful for a great many things....


 
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