Comrades across the Fruited Collective! As we celebrate the Glorious 13th Anniversary of the People's Cube, America's most equal and most trusted news source, let's take a moment to explain the background of our magnificent avatars.

When I began life on the Cube as a humble comrade blogger, I chose an avatar that would capture the revolutionary spirit that would topple the bourgeoisie and bring in the long awaited People's Utopia of Next Tuesday. In this classically Baroque pose, I hold in my left hand the People's Keyboard, the hammer blows of which have caused the ruling classes to tremble for over a decade.

The image was so successful, it actually inspired the sculpting of the Worker and Farmer Statue that has become the iconic image of the People's Struggle for equality and social justice.

As I self-identify as a person of military background, I had hoped to find something that was reflective of my preference, and "Russian enough" to be culturally appropriated and equal to the cubits already here.

An image search for drunken Russian soldier turned up the disheveled and unkempt warrior you see today, unedited...

I was most delighted to note that he salutes with the left hand (an act disrespect) while he drinks with his saluting hand (a display of defiance of protocol).. Who could ask for a better "interweb image" to reflect a "fundamental transformation" ™ when I log on?

The successfully completed People's Cube puzzle held by Craptek's avatar is conclusive, scientific proof that fairness, equality, and self-esteem can extend to all of Marx's creatures by Next Tuesday™. (plus or minus a few days) The debate is over. It's time to move on...

An obviously drunk [color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] wrote:An image search for 'drunken Russian soldier' turned up the disheveled and unkempt warrior you see today, unedited...

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Here's a shot of Ivan before he got too drunk... a magnificent Russian warrior!
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Chief Designer wrote:

Comrade Komissar -

I'm just grateful (thank Lenin!) that I could find an image of me at all, seeing as how my very identity was a state secret until after I had shuffled off this mortal coil (thanks to the ministrations of Comrade Stalin's minions in the Gulag and the ham-fisted Soviet surgeons who expedited my demise).

I'm sure that the previous, paragraph-long sentence exceeds the People's Limitation on verbosity, but I don't care seeing as how this is such a festive occasion!

- SK

Comrade Putout wrote:

An obviously drunk [color=#C0392B]Ivan the Stakhanovets[/color] wrote:An image search for 'drunken Russian soldier' turned up the disheveled and unkempt warrior you see today, unedited...

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Here's a shot of Ivan before he got too drunk... a magnificent Russian warrior!
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Captain Craptek wrote:The successfully completed People's Cube puzzle held by Craptek's avatar is conclusive, scientific proof that fairness, equality, and self-esteem can extend to all of Marx's creatures by Next Tuesday™. (plus or minus a few days) The debate is over. It's time to move on...

The cute, furry and slightly boastful [color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] wrote:The successfully completed People's Cube puzzle held by Craptek's avatar is conclusive, scientific proof that fairness, equality, and self-esteem can extend to all of Marx's creatures by Next Tuesday™. (plus or minus a few days) The debate is over. It's time to move on...

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You solved it first, Captain, but I looked better doing it... much better!
(My hair is perfect!!)
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Don't look into my eyes, Crappy, you'll become mesmerized!
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Comrade Putout wrote:

The cute, furry and slightly boastful [color=#C0392B]Captain Craptek[/color] wrote:The successfully completed People's Cube puzzle held by Craptek's avatar is conclusive, scientific proof that fairness, equality, and self-esteem can extend to all of Marx's creatures by Next Tuesday™. (plus or minus a few days) The debate is over. It's time to move on...

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You solved it first, Captain, but I looked better doing it... much better!
[highlight=#ffff00](My hair is perfect!!)[/highlight]
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[center]Perfect? In the morning? After how many hours?[/center][/font]

My avatar speaks for itself: the mighty Party Organ, purged of glands and hormones, relieved of the distractions of body, heart, and soul. The pure Soviet intellect - devoid of emotion, love, even coherent reason - in the name of achieving the Glorious World of Next Tuesday by Monday afternoon at half-past four.

My avatar is simply a picture of the future: the smiling, condescending look in the eyes of the thought police as they come to arrest you.

Ivan Betinov wrote:My avatar speaks for itself: the mighty Party Organ, purged of glands and hormones, relieved of the distractions of body, heart, and soul. The pure Soviet intellect - devoid of emotion, love, even coherent reason - in the name of achieving the Glorious World of Next Tuesday by Monday afternoon at half-past four.

Minitrue wrote:My avatar is simply a picture of the future: the smiling, condescending look in the eyes of the thought police as they come to arrest you.

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:

Minitrue wrote:My avatar is simply a picture of the future: the smiling, condescending look in the eyes of the thought police as they come to arrest you.

I think we prefer to say "help" like, "Hi, my name is Rurik and I'm here to help you manage Novgorod."

Captain Craptek wrote:

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:

Minitrue wrote:My avatar is simply a picture of the future: the smiling, condescending look in the eyes of the thought police as they come to arrest you.

I think we prefer to say "help" like, "Hi, my name is Rurik and I'm here to help you manage Novgorod."

YOU introduced government cheese?

I'm impressed...help yourself to an extra ration of beet vodka. Take Craptek's, he won't need it where he's going.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:YOU introduced government cheese?

I'm impressed...help yourself to an extra ration of beet vodka. Take Craptek's, he won't need it where he's going.

Radiocarbon dating the Covfefe inception will belie my long standing as a cubist thought criminal. I routinely committed thought theft (i.e. reading.) I only began posting when the cognitive dissonance of "the ones we have been waiting for" not fixing everything made my head explode. The last unexploded moment was captured quite nicely, I thought...


The graphic is taken from the movie Outland, and is actually John Ratzenberger (better known for his heroic civil servant in the sitcom Cheers.)

Covfefe wrote:Radiocarbon dating...

This gives me an idea to start an online Radiocarbon Dating Service, to match couples online based on their carbon usage preferences and tastes in radio programming.

It'll be similar to Tinder, but given the carbon reference, I'll call it Timber.

[img]/images/various_uploads/Timber_Radiocarbon_Dating_Matchmaking.jpg[/img]

When I first joined the Cube, I realized I needed to find an Avatar. For some reason, I chose to Google Russian family portraits of royalty. I found many but zoomed in on one face that caught my eye. Since then I had a computer hack erase all my stuff including this image. I would love to have saved its origin.

But I did save her face. I like her and she does, in her expression, express me. At first she was a bit “raggedy” but, after some Photoshop sharpening and editing, she's mine! She has an historic face which, to me, appears timeless. That way I can take in all my Comrades with aplomb and still be relevant. After all, Comrades, Love is Eternal! And, I give my love to you!

Ivan Betinov wrote:My avatar speaks for itself: the mighty Party Organ, purged of glands and hormones, relieved of the distractions of body, heart, and soul. The pure Soviet intellect - devoid of emotion, love, even coherent reason - in the name of achieving the Glorious World of Next Tuesday by Monday afternoon at half-past four.

Perfect metaphoric avatar. Perfect! Outstanding!