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Che's Hair. Act Now!!

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Bill Butler of Houstan Texas (pronounced Teh-has for those of you who no hablo), has purchased a lock of Ernesto's hair, and calling him "One of the greatest revolutionaries of the 20th century." One of, Bill? Had you not spent a cool 100 grand on his hair, remarks like that might have earned you a trip to Cuba for some re-education.

Che's Hair

I'm sure when Comrade Red Square has finished [CENSORED] that he will become insanely jealous of Mr. Butler's purchase.

RIK

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Someone actually saved some of Che's hair?!? Think of all the species of lice it must contain! It could be used in our research for new means of transporting bio-weapons.., I mean... friendly happy sciency stuff that will benefit all of mankind....

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Ha! I have his beret! Wait and see what that fetches on ebay, Limbaugh!

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Oh, come on, comrades! Where's the enthusiasm!? I HAVE CHE'S BERET! LET THE BIDDING BEGIN!

OK, I'll lead by example: I bid one glass of Ruskaya, a potato, and 11 beets.

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I bid 2 Hummels that er... I found the other day.

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I have two liberated Hummels! Do I hear a shovel with display case?

I'll see your two hummels and raise you a toaster

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Two hummels, a toaster, and one genuine Nancy soiled depends!

A months worth of some proles vodka rations and this blank check with Theocritus's name on it. TOP THAT.

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A years worth of food rations! Two months worth of comrade dirks vodka rations! A $3 billion donation to Her Majesty (via Halliburtion tax) and the next Hsu will be "taken" care of. Oh, yea, and 4 Hummels!

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One invisible red ink pen so that the Chairman's order for you to be placed against the wall will mysteriously disappear. Top that comrades!

OH YEAH, 5 years worth of food rations, 6 months of Red's vodka rations (including the stuff from his secret stash), a kagillion dollars worth of tax donations and non-person K disappears with kennedy in a tragic cab accident (by rocket launcher).

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OK! You stepped on the secret stash! 10 years of food rations! A Vodka factory! All the money in the US Treasury for Her Majesty! And Kennedy gets a car and some beer with non-person K riding shot gun and Hsu in the back seat, along with 3 other of the Clinton's near and dear "friends".

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I think my comrades miss an important point... and that is, how will one enjoy these bids if one falls prey to the Chairman's red ink pen?

The US Treasury. HA! there are plenty of Commissar Pupovich's semi-legal off shore bank accounts that I have "access" (hacking) to. And as for your kennedy car, I'll give him a stretch limo, some moonshine, and every non-person, their freinds relatives and paper boys from the last 50 YEARS!

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I think my comrades miss an important point... and that is, how will one enjoy these bids if one falls prey to the Chairman's red ink pen?

True, but those of use that are bidding these are planning on dodging the Chairman's bullets. Besides, we all know that the best way to die is being drunk on Vodka.


The US Treasury. HA! there are plenty of Commissar Pupovich's semi-legal off shore bank accounts that I have "access" (hacking) to. And as for your kennedy car, I'll give him a stretch limo, some moonshine, and every non-person, their freinds relatives and paper boys from the last 50 YEARS!

I see that this is going to get big fast, so (steals pen from Commissar Pup), I see your bid and raise this invaluable pen.

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My bid is to match any other bid (which I will of course confiscate for The Common Good™ plus 4 hours with the Hildo Hydra.

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Comrades! With my far reaching influence, I not only have Che's beret up for auction, but I will add to it a special bonus beyond our wildest progressive dreams. Not only will the winner receive the beret (with some of the great hero's hair, dandruff, powder burns, and innumerable blood stains from different sources), but also...

Vasily Zaitsev's coal mine will be renamed after the highest bidder!

...now that took some talented string pulling!

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My bid is to match Commissars Pup's bid of everything, and raise everything with a fleet of Chineese Death Buses.

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RedtheProgressiveFox wrote:My bid is to match Commissars Pup's bid of everything, and raise everything with a fleet of Chineese Death Buses.

Sorry, RtPF, but the entire fleet was purchased by a Chinese dishwasher, repainted with "Hillary Health Care Express," and donated to an as yet anonymous presidential candidate "for the children."

I'll match the Pup's bid plus a free botex injection (that I stole from nancy).

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Komissar Blogunov wrote: Sorry, RtPF, but the entire fleet was purchased by a Chinese dishwasher, repainted with "Hillary Health Care Express," and donated to an as yet anonymous presidential candidate "for the children."

This one escaped.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DDTLo-nDsUQ

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Ok, it's time to bring this to a close. The winner of this beret and the title to Zaitsev's coal mine is...

...umm...uh-oh...this isn't good...

...has anybody seen the beret and the title? They were here a minute ago!

WHO REDISTRIBUTED CHE'S BERET AND THE TITLE TO THE COAL MINE!?

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I can assure you that you won't find them in my doghouse.... Verily, you won't find them.

WHO REDISTRIBUTED CHE'S BERET AND THE TITLE TO THE COAL MINE!?

I have no idea were the beret and dirk coal mine went.

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No, and you won't ever have any idea either, won't be found. Uh...I mean, no doubt Hillary already has them.

no doubt Hillary already has them.

ummm, yes Hillary has them (looks around nervously).

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Welcome to the Che Parade
All our lives we sweat and save
Save it for a Che Beret


This is the best part of the pics
I really like
The best part

(what did he say)


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Tip of the tinfoil to our favorite photographer, Zombietime

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At last! I finally figured out who Che Guevara reminded me of! Just a coincidence? I think not!

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Lot: 30580
Auction: 675

Historic Che Guevara Archive, Including a Lock of His Hair, including fingerprints, maps, letters, newspaper clippings, and dozens of death photographs of Che and his fellow guerrillas.
Che beret isn't listed. Where did you get it, Komissar Blogunov? The Party Appropriation and Redistribution Committee would be interested to know. Did this unique beret have "made in China" tag on it by any chance?

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Red Square wrote:Where did you get it, Komissar Blogunov? The Party Appropriation and Redistribution Committee would be interested to know. Did this unique beret have "made in China" tag on it by any chance?

<s>No, I just checked.... </s> I wish I could help, but I haven't seen it.

His wallet wasn't in there so I have no idea.

<off karakter>
can someone tell me how you cross-out words in your post. I'd really like to know

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Just add a < s > before, and an < / s > after whatever you want to cross out (ignore the spaces).

Filthy kkkapitalist warmonger.

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Red Square wrote:Che beret isn't listed. Where did you get it, Komissar Blogunov? The Party Appropriation and Redistribution Committee would be interested to know. Did this unique beret have "made in China" tag on it by any chance?

I was sorting through a pile of berets at the People's Dry Goods Bargain Bin (Big Lots) when I found one with several of the aforementioned blood stains and powder burns on it. That plus the "Hecho en Argentina" label suggested the possibility of Che ownership to me. All this was confirmed when I sent dandruff samples carefully collected from the beret to the Weekly World News psychic lab for analysis. They were convinced the beret belonged not only to Che, but to Elvis, JFK, and Bigfoot as well. But, a lot of good that does me now. It figures it would go missing during the Bush administration. What's worse, it makes me cringe to think of Zaitsev's coal mine named after W, Cheney, or Rove when it could have been named after Cindy Sheehan or Algore. Oh, the injustice of this administration!

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comrade dirk wrote:His wallet wasn't in there so I have no idea.

<off karakter>
can someone tell me how you cross-out words in your post. I'd really like to know

Strike throughs are <s>the people's technology</s> closely guarded state secrets and may be <s>freely</s> used with Party permission only. Just quote this post and see <s>how it's done</s> how cold it gets in Siberia!

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I am glad it was one of you comrades that answered that. For until I hear from Hillary, Nancy, or Mr Reno.... well, he is radioactive!

Just add a < s > before, and an < / s > after whatever you want to cross out (ignore the spaces).

Filthy kkkapitalist warmonger.

<s> you fascist sycophant </s> Thank you oh so much for your assistance <s> commie dupe </s> invaluable Premier.

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That's why I wear my party Approved rain jacket/radiation suit. Just like our now extinct comrades on K-19.

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For the record: All of those aboard K-19 are living happy prosperous lives and in no way, shape or form developed any sickness, ailment or disability of any kind. Soviet engineering was top-notch and all written statements, records or testimony from any crew member, commading officer or officials from the Kremlin is a liar and an enemy of the People.

Also for the record: I did not sleep with Hugh Rodham's blender in an attempt to marry into the Clinton family and thus procreate a line of Punchenkos to fill various government agencies so that I may line my own pockets.

Oh, one more thing for the record: I did not say I had keys to the Lincoln bedroom which was given to me by Mark Rich nor did I try to bed numerous celebrities with above mentioned keys to the Lincoln bedroom.

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Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote: Also for the record: I did not sleep with Hugh Rodham's blender in an attempt to marry into the Clinton family and thus procreate a line of Punchenkos to fill various government agencies so that I may line my own pockets.

Blender? Is not that more distant family, like a 5th or 6th cousin?


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For the record, there is no truth to the rumor that the Thursday Evening Special at the Pup's Party Pleasure House includes a ride on a scale model Hildo Hydra complete with a Chairman blow up doll and Pinkie Shampaign for the rock bottom price of 50 rubles. The actual price is 37.95 Rubles, which with tax brings it to 50.

For the record, there is no evidence that Premier Betty was the first to take advantage of the above special or that he shouted "Oh Lenin, Oh Lenin, ride my Wookie,"

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LIESSSSSS!!!!!

I use my Hildo for mixing drinks only!

And I do not fantasize about Wookies when engaged in... whatever the hell would be going on in the above statement. Nor do I engage in such <shudder> activities....

And if you check my phone records at that time, you will find that I was nowhere near there. (I was ordering a new Scooby Doo Slip-n-Slide with the Pup's credit cards.

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Well of course you do not Premier, that is why I was most careful to say there was no truth to the rumor...

Just as there is no truth to the rumor that there is not an autographed copy of Ann Coulters "If Democrats Had Brains" located in the second drawer on the left, next to your computer, hidden under a collection of "Chimps Go Wild" magazines and a genuine carved Rhino Horn nut cracker taken from Hillary's dacha. No truth to that rumor at all.....

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Ummm... yes... no truth... uhhh....

Why do you keep making up such specific lies? The way you make them sound is as if I am poorly denying non-existant accusations about very intricately detailed "facts". This is making my head hurt.

But it is still all a lie!

The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!

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Premier Betty wrote:Why do you keep making up such specific lies? The way you make them sound is as if I am poorly denying non-existant accusations about very intricately detailed "facts"....


<center><img src="https://people.delphiforums.com/a1sickpupe/carnac pup.gif"></center>

The Amazing Carnac Pup Knows All, Sees All.....


For instance, the Amazing Carnac Pup knows that you have secretly been hiding one of the Chairman's Hummels that he assumed was broken, in a safe behind your black velvet painting of Elvis playing poker with Dartth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and the Wookie.

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HA! The joke's on you! I sold that Hummel for twice it's real value to you last week! You have it and therefore you shall be held responsible for "liberating" it from the Chairman's possession. And because you paid me in rare Persian rugs and Egyptian artifacts stolen from raided tombs, there is no paper trail and no way to prove that it was ever in my possession.

<evil voice on>

MMMUUAAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!

</evil voice on>

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Premier Betty wrote:....And because you paid me in rare Persian rugs and Egyptian artifacts stolen from raided tombs, there is no paper trail and no way to prove that it was ever in my possession.

Oh, you mean the rare "Persian rugs and Egyptian artifacts" I acquired from my
usual "rare items" broker...

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Oh Dear Lenin, how I love being a Party elite!

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I don't recognize that as being rare, or even valuable. I do know that in the exchange I also got your wallet. Which was in turn stolen by dirk while I was testing the poodle cannons on him.

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Premier Betty wrote:The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!
The cake is a lie!


GLaDOS wrote:There really was a cake.

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1 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
3/4 cup vegetable oil.
4 large eggs.
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
3/4 cups butter or margarine.
1&2/3 cups granulated sugar.
2 cups all purpose flour.
Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish shaped crackers.
Fish shaped candies.
Fish shaped solid waste,
Fish shaped dirt.
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Pull and peel licorice..
Fish shaped volatile organic compounds
and sediment shaped sediment.
Candy coated peanut butter pieces, Shaped like fish.
1 cup lemon juice.
Alpha resins.
Unsaturated polyester resin.
Fiberglass surface resins.
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
9 large egg yolks.
12 medium geosynthetic membranes.
1 cup granulated sugar.
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'.
2 cups rhubarb, sliced.
2/3 cups granulated rhubarb.
1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
3 tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
1 large rhubarb.
1 cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
2 tablespoons rhubarb juice.
Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
Slaughter electric needle injector.
Cordless electric needle injector.
Injector needle driver.
Injector needle gun.
Cranial caps.
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor
control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

I do know that in the exchange I also got your wallet. Which was in turn stolen by dirk while I was testing the poodle cannons on him.

I knew this had to much money to be your wallet Betty. Also there were several gift cards for the Pup's pleasure palace.


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comrade dirk wrote:I knew this had to much money to be your wallet Betty. Also there were several gift cards for the Pup's pleasure palace.

Clearly it was not my wallet....

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Premier Betty wrote:
GLaDOS wrote: There really was a cake.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=e5QveX3-1O8
<br>http://youtube.com/watch?v=LOx3sT8B7LA

Most disturbing Premier.... most disturbing indeed. So you are seeing other Cubes, not red such as our glorious Cube? One with *gasp* a pink heart where our beloved hammer and sickle belongs!
(Commissar Pupovich writing feverishly in his log book)

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It's not my fault!!!! I woke up to find myself in a glass room and being told by a computer voice that I was in some kind of relaxation chamber! Not only that, but upon viewing myself I found out that I suddenly had undergone a sex change without my knowledge and had become an Asian woman named Chell! I can't begin to tell you how confused I was.

Afterwards I was forced against my will to think. Yes! To think!!! I had to solve puzzles and physics challenges! Oh, the pain! My head still hurts! And that isn't even the worst of it! I was then forced into a relationship with said "Companion Cube" but with my amazing powers of loyalty to The Party, I was able to free myself from that non Party Approved union to my freedom... to do more puzzles.

The Horror!!!


http://youtube.com/watch?v=CIbgG6g2Xjk

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So what are you saying Premier? Is it not funny the way some Party members seem to just repeatedly "fall" or "wake up" to find themselves in such compromising situations? Wise progressives know how to avoid finding themselves in a situation that might compromise the trust the Party so graciously places them in don't you agree? You do agree don't you? Or perhaps you have been nibbling on some People's Mushrooms?

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It's Bush's fault!!!!

I can't help it, one minute I'm buying a bunch of DVD's with games on them, and then the next I'm a Texan Engineer, or a Theoretical Physicist turned freedom fighter, or a Mechanic turned superhero... It's not my fault (still)!!!!

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Well, I suppose you have squirmed sufficiently for now... LOL


 
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