Washington Post: Montgomery County Chicken and Egg Control Board Officer, Ulder Tillman, has issued a terrifying warning to residents of Maryland.

In a chilling letter to the County Council's Planning Committee, Ms. Tillman warned that any attempt to relax government regulation of home raised chickens would likely lead to a nationwide outbreak of ST (salmonella typhimurium) resulting in the death of millions and possible extinction of life as we know it.

Citing an August report by The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Tillman described a multi-state outbreak of ST linked to baby poultry and feed supplied by mail order companies to US residents.

“Young children are especially at risk, she said, because their immune systems are still immature, and they are more likely to put their fingers and other items in their mouths.”

Tillman's devastating letter emphasizes Maryland's lack of chicken licensing and tracking regulations:

“Neither the County nor the State has an adequate registration and tracking mechanism for small-scale purchases of poultry,” she said. In a later interview she added, “The average Maryland taxpayer is simply not up to the complex task of raising a chicken. Under proper government control, of course, certain qualified and licensed individuals may be authorized to raise a chicken for personal use. But strict regulation and inspections will be necessary to prevent a national tragedy."

Council President Nancy Navarro said the committee is scheduled to meet Friday morning and is expected to discuss plans to avert the looming disaster.

That the MDSSR could allow such an egregious lapse of proper and necessary state regulation and oversight of the kulakian poultry industry is certainly proof enough to show that a) Komrade Madam Kontrol Officer Tillman is ill-suited for and insufficient to said task of Kontrol Officer, and b) that she is therefore guilty of impeeding Forward™ Progress™ toward the Glorious World of NextTuesday™. I hereby denounce Komrade Tillman and will be referring her forthwith to her provincial Kommissar for several days weeks months reprogramming with Komrade Chicken on a Raft™.


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Well, Rooster sounds kind of like barista, and THAT sounds kind of like Barilla, so I bet people that raise chickens at home are also homophobes.

Ivan Betinov wrote:Well, Rooster sounds kind of like barista, and THAT sounds kind of like Barilla, so I bet people that raise chickens at home are also homophobes.

What about the people selfish counterrevolutionaries who brew their own coffee in the privacy of their own homes, with their private coffee pots? As the image below shows, they're clearly racists, and it's a well-known KurrenTruth that all racists are also extremely homophobic.

[color=#C0392B]Impyeratorskiy Pingvin[/color] was fair but harsh when he or she wrote:I hereby denounce Komrade Tillman and will be referring her forthwith to her provincial Kommissar for several days weeks months reprogramming with Komrade Chicken on a Raft™.

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I think he is busy impressing the hens!
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Perhaps this domestic chicken threat is related to the Evil Farmed Salmon threat we agitate against in the Peoples Alaskan Republic? Farming can't be a good way to produce reliable food supplies. Everyone I know eats wild free range wheat and corn. Those who claim that reindeer (domesticated caribou) provide a more reliable source of delicious sausage than wily wild caribou are outright liars. I'm sure it is purely revisionist history that most people raised chickens on their own for eggs and meat in times past. Only collective farming with strict government controls can supply the food stuffs for the masses. Agitate for government control of food production!

Comrades, It is a sad day when Comrade Tillman hasn't thought this thing through. Chickens have been an oppressed class and most likely these innocent creatures would find the Democrats or most all of Progressives more understanding to their suffering and most likely supportive of their cause. I am quite confident that these chickens are quite tired of being fleeced by the Tea Party, Grand Old Party and Rethuggglicans as well as 200 years of white hegemony and the effects of global warming. Although we can dwell on the atrocities being committed right here on American soil, against our own children which we didn't get around to abort, nevertheless Progressives have an opportunity to say that the Big Tent represents everyone and the chickens have come home to roost, rather than to hear if from chickenholic neocons who would use it in a manner completely derogatory!

An eloquent statement, Trashmouth, except for one minor detail: a chicken, having feathers, cannot be fleeced. First we must change the chickens into sheep through the miracle of poligenetic engineering (the same glorious science that has created the Permanent Victim Class and the Permanent Unemployed Class). Then we can add them to the good shepherd Barack. And then they can be fleeced.

Comrade Betinov, perhaps fleeced was the wrong choice of word, however excluding the poligenetic engineering, dear leader could actually have "a feather in his cap" while going through the robotic motions honoring all male, female and transgendered chickens.

What we need is common-sense legislation to control assault chickens with high capacity beaks. Does anyone really need chickens on farm, when supermarket already has so many of such? Do feathers have sufficient diversity of color? Of gender identification? And why must chicken cross road, anyway?

Such difficult questions for such difficult times. We must leave these decisions to wise commissars at Egg and Poultry Control Board, USDA, FDA, EPA, ATF, ICE, NICE, NICER, NICEST, HHS, DHS, CIA, FBI, and of course beloved IRS.

I am thinking they should keep the salmon, of the salmonella, in the rivers and then they could not get to the chickens. (why do I have to do all the thinking!)

The obvious solution to this madness is backyard chicken subsidies in the next farm bill.

That will take care of this, save childrens and get these unstable wildcards back in the system. Their non-participation threatens our friends and patriots at Monsanto and Tyson.

What the cluck? Indeed, Comrade R.O.C.K.

Has anyone seen our own Red Rooster lately? I'm afraid he may be on the front lines of this conflict.

INGSOC wrote:The obvious solution to this madness is backyard chicken subsidies in the next farm bill.

That will take care of this, save childrens and get these unstable wildcards back in the system. Their non-participation threatens our friends and patriots at Monsanto and Tyson.

What the cluck? Indeed, Comrade R.O.C.K.

[highlight=#FFFF00]Has anyone seen our own Red Rooster lately? I'm afraid he may be on the front lines of this conflict.[/highlight]

Comrade,

Comrade Rooster is busy instructing the domestic animals at the moment.

I AM WATCHING YOU ALL!!!

STILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER....