Children of Chicagograd Parade Honoring 'Let's Move'

Dear Comrades,

Comrade Chairwoman Michelle Fraserovna Obama’s State-wide initiative, “Let’s Move,” has inspired the Young Socialists of Chicagograd to display their commitment to the values of the Party by conducting celebratory parades and displays of the “Let’s Move” theory in action. Hundreds of children took to the streets in the second such event this year.

Party commissars and other community organizers are hopeful that, as the weather warms, more such activities will arise. It is reported that the widely-popular ‘Obamaphone’ is used by faithful Proletarian children to disseminate agitational materials and distribute orders.

Local Police Militia units were brought in to provide for the safety of the parade participants, as they displayed their exuberance unleashed by the inspirational messages of Comrade Michelle and the Democratic Socialist Party, for which Chicagograd residents are known to be strong adherents. Counter-revolutionaries and non-conformists, you are now warned that the Young Socialists will not tolerate your oppression!

Comrades, let us rejoice that our loyal Teachers Unions are properly forming the moral upbringing of our children for us who labor tirelessly for the Progress of our glorious Workers’ Paradise that is the USSA. While all of us contribute to the common good of the People’s Wealth, the Party is indoctrinating our children with the right attitudes and forming correct behaviors for them to play their role in our State.

We know that, in the future, these children will be fully integrated into the state system of equal distribution, and will preserve their political formation as committed Socialists, loyal only to the Party that cares for them and all the workers and peasants of the USSA

We salute the agitational parades of Chicagograd!
Let us greet Spring with the Red Banner of Socialism!

Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Comrade Nomenklatura-climber
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
 

Thank Lenin that this took place in Chicago. In any other city, some of the pedestrians these youth were attacking might have been armed. These poor innocent tykes might have been hurt or killed--all just for exercising their constitutional right to attack random people on the street.
 

Those poor children, did they only have one mother? Was Planned Parenthood not open in Chicago ten years ago? Are they all registered to vote yet?
 

 

Organized socialist youth! Smash the bourgeois Amerikkkan opulence!
 

Smash or Smersh?