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CNN: Stupid farmers plunge Europe into Nazism!

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Comrades, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that years of progressivism may be undone by disturbing cultural trends in Europe.  Before our very eyes, we are seeing the rotten fruit of representative government, the disaster of letting the unwashed masses, too stupid to be persuaded by settled science, have a voice in government.  That this is the very essence of Nazism I need scarcely mention.

The only network allowed to be viewed on the 9" black and white big screen TV in Tractor Barn #2 (that's CNN for the duller comrades) has disturbingly reported, "A farmers’ protest party in the Netherlands has caused a shock after winning provincial elections this week just four years after their founding. Could their rise have wider implications?"

That sounds ominous, and it should.  Why?  Well, because "Donald Trump and Marine Le Pen have voiced support, while some in the far right see the movement as embodying their ideas of elites using green policies to trample on the rights of individuals."  Donald Trump, the worst Republican since Hitler, supports this movement!  Even more disturbing is the view of the unwashed farmers who believe green policies, which always save the planet, are nothing more than a means of implementing totalitarianism.  Green if for their good, for everybody's good!  You know what else would be even better for the Greater Good™?  Trampling their rights once and for all.  Oh, for the days when you could send farmers out to the beet fields under the muzzle of a PPSh-41.  Farmers knew who was boss back then.

Here's something even more disturbing: "Wednesday’s election win is significant as it means the party is now set to be the largest in the Upper House of Parliament, which has the power to block legislation agreed in the Lower House – throwing the Dutch government’s environmental policies into question."  Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!  I haven't wailed this hard since Trump's inauguration!  We may only have five years left to save the planet.  Children born into the apocalyptic wasteland of 2028 will ask, "Mommy, what's a planet?" *sniff!*

The chest pounding earth ravishing thug who heads this so-called "farmer's party" made this disturbing statement: "Voters have spoken out very clearly against this government’s policies."  What is wrong with you, progressive Europe?  You let them vote?  Why?  Now look at the mess you've made.  This is where too much freedom will land you, and this shows the fundamental flaw of letting unconditioned citizens make up their own minds.

However, a compassionate commissar (and nobody cares like your Komissar) tried to understand saying, "So the feeling is that the less successful, less smart people are trapped by a government who doesn’t understand what their problems are."  This is disturbing on so many levels.  Who knows more about farming, someone whose family has been in the business for generations, or an urban bureaucrat guided by the wisdom of Greta, Sainted Protectress of Earth Mother?  Of course the farmer is "less smart" and less compassionate, too.  Farming robs Greta of her childhood.  How Dare They™!

We know precisely what the problem is.  Too many people living too well with too much freedom and too little scientific education.  These simple rubes believe that shutting down farms will threaten the food supply and cause famine.  Well, okay, but how else can we save the planet?  We may only have 2 1/2 years left, so we need to take action now.  But, alas, that's off the table for the moment.

There's more.  CNN also reports, "A report from The International Centre for Counter-Terrorism describes how what began as local protests got the attention of extremists and conspiracists, in particular seeing it as proof of the so-called “Great Reset” theory of global elites using the masses for their own benefit."  That's right.  Farmers are terrorists!  Left unchecked, they will continue to feed us with quality products for reasonable prices negotiated between consumer and producer.  This is only the beginning, and it's both disturbing and ominous.

Stop trying to understand them, you idiot commissars.  Double down on the media shaming.  And if that doesn't work, make them understand what the bore of a Mosin-Nagant looks like!

And don't get me started on the disaster in Italy.  It's early, I'm deeply disturbed, and I'm already exceeding my daily ration of beet vodka.

Editor's note: all quotes from the article are original and unaltered.

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Just did a slight editorial update to include even more disturbing news.

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Oh, for the love of GAIA, look here Comrade Komissar al-Blogunov, after months of breathing air through dirty old socks during the pandemic, and enjoying every liquified insect meal thanks to visionary international farming experts, would it be too far-fetched to ask somebody to threaten these deranged farmers with an atomic wedgie?

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Kulaks! KULAKS! That is what they are. Imagine stealing from the community by demanding control over property and the produce thereof! Unthinkable and impermissible behavior. I agree with the Kommissar, a good dose of automatic gunfire is the cure for such hooliganism.

I think it more efficient, however, to station an NKVD heavy machinegun platoon armed with DShK 1938s in 12.7 mm at strategic overlooks covering multiple farms with the longer range weapons. In addition to being tedious, a single submachinegun-wielding guard plodding alongside the peasants as they work may expose him to serious wrong-think.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
3/20/2023, 2:48 pm
Kulaks! KULAKS! That is what they are. Imagine stealing from the community by demanding control over property and the produce thereof! Unthinkable and impermissible behavior. I agree with the Kommissar, a good dose of automatic gunfire is the cure for such hooliganism.

I think it more efficient, however, to station an NKVD heavy machinegun platoon armed with DShK 1938s in 12.7 mm at strategic overlooks covering multiple farms with the longer range weapons. In addition to being tedious, a single submachinegun-wielding guard plodding alongside the peasants as they work may expose him to serious wrong-think.
Excellent ideas!  I'll see if the Motherland can spare a T-34 from her depleted museum reserve.  Maybe we can short track it.

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trashmouth wrote:
3/20/2023, 1:15 pm
Oh, for the love of GAIA, look here Comrade Komissar al-Blogunov, after months of breathing air through dirty old socks during the pandemic, and enjoying every liquified insect meal thanks to visionary international farming experts, would it be too far-fetched to ask somebody to threaten these deranged farmers with an atomic wedgie?
They're clearly asking for it.  No one to blame but themselves.
 

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/20/2023, 11:53 am
Comrades, it is with a heavy heart that I inform you that years of progressivism may be undone by disturbing cultural trends in Europe.  Before our very eyes, we are seeing the rotten fruit of representative government, the disaster of letting the unwashed masses, too stupid to be persuaded by settled science, have a voice in government.  That this is the very essence of Nazism I need scarcely mention.

The only network allowed to be viewed on the 9" black and white big screen TV in Tractor Barn #2 (that's CNN for the duller comrades) has disturbingly reported, "A farmers’ protest party in the Netherlands has caused a shock after winning provincial elections this week just four years after their founding. Could their rise have wider implications?"

That sounds ominous, and it should.  Why?  Well, because "Donald Trump and Marine Le Pen have voiced support, while some in the far right see the movement as embodying their ideas of elites using green policies to trample on the rights of individuals."  Donald Trump, the worst Republican since Hitler, supports this movement!  Even more disturbing is the view of the unwashed farmers who believe green policies, which always save the planet, are nothing more than a means of implementing totalitarianism.  Green if for their good, for everybody's good!  You know what else would be even better for the Greater Good™?  Trampling their rights once and for all.  Oh, for the days when you could send farmers out to the beet fields under the muzzle of a PPSh-41.  Farmers knew who was boss back then.

Here's something even more disturbing: "Wednesday’s election win is significant as it means the party is now set to be the largest in the Upper House of Parliament, which has the power to block legislation agreed in the Lower House – throwing the Dutch government’s environmental policies into question."  Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!  I haven't wailed this hard since Trump's inauguration!  We may only have five years left to save the planet.  Children born into the apocalyptic wasteland of 2028 will ask, "Mommy, what's a planet?" *sniff!*

The chest pounding earth ravishing thug who heads this so-called "farmer's party" made this disturbing statement: "Voters have spoken out very clearly against this government’s policies."  What is wrong with you, progressive Europe?  You let them vote?  Why?  Now look at the mess you've made.  This is where too much freedom will land you, and this shows the fundamental flaw of letting unconditioned citizens make up their own minds.

However, a compassionate commissar (and nobody cares like your Komissar) tried to understand saying, "So the feeling is that the less successful, less smart people are trapped by a government who doesn’t understand what their problems are."  This is disturbing on so many levels.  Who knows more about farming, someone whose family has been in the business for generations, or an urban bureaucrat guided by the wisdom of Greta, Sainted Protectress of Earth Mother?  Of course the farmer is "less smart" and less compassionate, too.  Farming robs Greta of her childhood.  How Dare They™!

We know precisely what the problem is.  Too many people living too well with too much freedom and too little scientific education.  These simple rubes believe that shutting down farms will threaten the food supply and cause famine.  Well, okay, but how else can we save the planet?  We may only have 2 1/2 years left, so we need to take action now.  But, alas, that's off the table for the moment.

There's more.  CNN also reports, "A report from The International Centre for Counter-Terrorism describes how what began as local protests got the attention of extremists and conspiracists, in particular seeing it as proof of the so-called “Great Reset” theory of global elites using the masses for their own benefit."  That's right.  Farmers are terrorists!  Left unchecked, they will continue to feed us with quality products for reasonable prices negotiated between consumer and producer.  This is only the beginning, and it's both disturbing and ominous.

Stop trying to understand them, you idiot commissars.  Double down on the media shaming.  And if that doesn't work, make them understand what the bore of a Mosin-Nagant looks like!

And don't get me started on the disaster in Italy.  It's early, I'm deeply disturbed, and I'm already exceeding my daily ration of beet vodka.

Editor's note: all quotes from the article are original and unaltered.
This is clearly insane. Replacing the Green Economy™ with the Grocery Economy can only lead to a disaster for The Party™. Apparently, the Dutch forgot how to count the vote.
 

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Ivan Betinov wrote:
3/20/2023, 2:48 pm
Kulaks! KULAKS! That is what they are. Imagine stealing from the community by demanding control over property and the produce thereof! Unthinkable and impermissible behavior. I agree with the Kommissar, a good dose of automatic gunfire is the cure for such hooliganism.

I think it more efficient, however, to station an NKVD heavy machinegun platoon armed with DShK 1938s in 12.7 mm at strategic overlooks covering multiple farms with the longer range weapons. In addition to being tedious, a single submachinegun-wielding guard plodding alongside the peasants as they work may expose him to serious wrong-think.
Comrade Brain, I expect better of you, even if you are enclosed in a jar. Your suggestions are a complete waste of resources. A couple of tactical nukes would not only eliminate the dissidents but would also render the disputed territories unusable for decades to come. The Party™ needs to be resourceful and efficient. We are talking about Saving The Planet™. No measures are off the table.
 

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I'm warming up to this nuclear option. No more troublesome peasants and the land becomes nonarable. What's not to like? I mean, there'll always be food for Party members after we Save the Planet ™.


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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/21/2023, 10:22 am
I'm warming up to this nuclear option. No more troublesome peasants and the land becomes nonarable. What's not to like? I mean, there'll always be food for Party members after we Save the Planet ™.
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We were going to have to eat cockroaches, anyway.


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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/21/2023, 10:22 am
I'm warming up to this nuclear option. No more troublesome peasants and the land becomes nonarable. What's not to like? I mean, there'll always be food for Party members after we Save the Planet ™.
Image
Warming up is indeed a condition of a nuke. Get out the popcorn and marshmallows. I hear barbecued cockroaches are a delicacy in some parts of the world.
 

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 11:57 am
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/21/2023, 10:22 am
I'm warming up to this nuclear option. No more troublesome peasants and the land becomes nonarable. What's not to like? I mean, there'll always be food for Party members after we Save the Planet ™.
Image
Warming up is indeed a condition of a nuke. Get out the popcorn and marshmallows. I hear barbecued cockroaches are a delicacy in some parts of the world.
 

Do you used a yellow mustard binder when you put a seasoned dry rub on your cockroach? Some comrades do, ‘pelipsky has heard.


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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 11:57 am
etI'm warming up to this nuclear option. No more troublesome peasants and the land becomes nonarable. What's not to like? I mean, there'll always be food for Party members after we Save the Planet ™.
jackalopelipsky wrote:
3/21/2023, 12:35 pm
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 11:57 am
Warming up is indeed a condition of a nuke. Get out the popcorn and marshmallows. I hear barbecued cockroaches are a delicacy in some parts of the world.

Do you used a yellow mustard binder when you put a seasoned dry rub on your cockroach? Some comrades do, ‘pelipsky has heard.


Nyet, comrade. I go to the supermarket for a little asparagus and Gouda and make a fondue. The 'roaches are, of course, complimentary, if you can catch them. It's probably how President* Biden learned about 'roaches and children sitting on his lap. It's the future of culinary innovation.
 

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Cockroaches inspire us to consider the possibilities...
 
Fried Tarantula.jpg


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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 12:58 pm
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 11:57 am
etI'm warming up to this nuclear option. No more troublesome peasants and the land becomes nonarable. What's not to like? I mean, there'll always be food for Party members after we Save the Planet ™.
jackalopelipsky wrote:
3/21/2023, 12:35 pm
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 11:57 am
Warming up is indeed a condition of a nuke. Get out the popcorn and marshmallows. I hear barbecued cockroaches are a delicacy in some parts of the world.

Do you used a yellow mustard binder when you put a seasoned dry rub on your cockroach? Some comrades do, ‘pelipsky has heard.


Nyet, comrade. I go to the supermarket for a little asparagus and Gouda and make a fondue. The 'roaches are, of course, complimentary, if you can catch them. It's probably how President* Biden learned about 'roaches and children sitting on his lap. It's the future of culinary innovation.
 

Now, that’s just terrifying! Cockroaches at the Supermarket is something most The Vart supermarket shoppers think about, other than as fans sharing their opinions; chatting down the aisles, together. But, the idea of not only paying for cockroaches, a Vart gal has to chase the free roaming cockroach down after paying Supermarket per oz., seems “real” to ‘pelipsky.

Laws prohibiting cockroaches at Supermarkets are null. Vart’s Supermarket Special— Cockroaches Fresh Catch —- $1.00 per dozen.

Something has gone horribly wrong, in this revolution. This is a VART Talk Show into Clintonmerica, comrades. Where little cockroach children pet Joe Biden’s hairy legs and getting to eat roaches is a treat! Here’s your swatter!!

This is not satire, this is truth.

The Swatter is the American version of the Russian Gulag’s shovel.

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Apparently Texazistan has a little more control over the food supply than Oreganistan does. Here, we have to catch the bugs ourselves. In the spring months. It's good exercise and healthy for the transgender kids.

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 7:26 pm
Apparently Texazistan has a little more control over the food supply than Oreganistan does. Here, we have to catch the bugs ourselves. In the spring months. It's good exercise and healthy for the transgender kids.

You just don’t catch them at the Supermarket, KKK. See, that’s where Texazistan Supermarkets are ahead of the capitalist game. Not only do Supermarkets actively promote cockroach swarms, people can swat their own selections for a price.

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That sounds like a cockroach muster and rodeo. I know things are bigger in Texazistan but I didn't know the cowboys were riding cockroaches.

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Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 8:25 pm
That sounds like a cockroach muster and rodeo. I know things are bigger in Texazistan but I didn't know the cowboys were riding cockroaches.


The most common species of cockroaches in Texas are the American cockroach, German cockroach, Oriental cockroach, and the flying cockroach. Each species is unique and can create different problems in your house.

Clearly our understanding of cockroaches is under revision as Nazi Farmers, in Europe and USSA forget their place in food supply chain.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/20/2023, 3:02 pm
Ivan Betinov wrote:
3/20/2023, 2:48 pm
 
Excellent ideas!  I'll see if the Motherland can spare a T-34 from her depleted museum reserve.  Maybe we can short track it.
Alas, all the T-34s have been removed from the museums and deployed to the Ukraine anti-Nazifying effort.
 

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jackalopelipsky wrote:
3/22/2023, 8:34 am
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
3/21/2023, 8:25 pm
That sounds like a cockroach muster and rodeo. I know things are bigger in Texazistan but I didn't know the cowboys were riding cockroaches.
 
The most common species of cockroaches in Texas are the American cockroach, German cockroach, Oriental cockroach, and the flying cockroach. Each species is unique and can create different problems in your house.

Clearly our understanding of cockroaches is under revision as Nazi Farmers, in Europe and USSA forget their place in food supply chain.
It's good to know that Texazistan has a cosmopolitan approach to gourmet 'roaches though I'm surprised at no mention of Tex-Mex 'roaches. Those damned flying 'roaches can be a little challenging to catch. I hear they taste like chicken. Here in Oreganistan, the most common 'roach is the Bogart Joint 'roach, often called the Mary Jane 'roach. Just like the Oriental 'roach, you always feel hungry 1/2 an hour after enjoying it.
 

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Panem Et Circenses wrote:
3/22/2023, 2:59 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/20/2023, 3:02 pm
Ivan Betinov wrote:
3/20/2023, 2:48 pm
 
Excellent ideas!  I'll see if the Motherland can spare a T-34 from her depleted museum reserve.  Maybe we can short track it.
Alas, all the T-34s have been removed from the museums and deployed to the Ukraine anti-Nazifying effort.

Well, I guess it's true...
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2023/0 ... era-t-34s/

 

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Panem Et Circenses wrote:
3/27/2023, 11:45 am
Panem Et Circenses wrote:
3/22/2023, 2:59 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
3/20/2023, 3:02 pm
Ivan Betinov wrote:
3/20/2023, 2:48 pm
 
Excellent ideas!  I'll see if the Motherland can spare a T-34 from her depleted museum reserve.  Maybe we can short track it.
Alas, all the T-34s have been removed from the museums and deployed to the Ukraine anti-Nazifying effort.
Well, I guess it's true...
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2023/0 ... era-t-34s/


Clearly we have a mole.
 


 
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