Fellow Comrades:
Yesterday, our fellow comrade Deep Throat decided to present himself to the world by revealing his name and allowing the press to take billions of pictures of him at his front door. No wonder the poor comrade is going blind.

It all began when our comrade was working at the Federal Spy Bureau of Interrogations. We desired to destroy the evil Richard (Mayhem) Nixon in order to convert our nation from the Capitalist Pig of the World to the United Socialist States of America. By sending information through one of our major outlets, The Washington Post, we were able to oust Mayhem Nixon from the White House and begin the process of revolution.

Of course, with our superior ability of secrecy, Mayhem Nixon has never known who exactly was our comrade. Who could have known that his destroyer was right under his nose?

The one curious question remains...was there a need for our comrade to tell the world now that he was our Deep Throat? We could have kept it a secret for years to come, when our great USSA would have been completed controlled by the People! What do the People think? Vote your opinion!

Details on this story are at our special news outlet, The Washington Post.

Secretly protecting our comrades,
Vladimir Ivanov
Red Journalism Headquarters, Moscow, USSR

Comrades, I have come up with a great idea for the new Peoples Red Army! We will turn the capitalist's creations against them by using the cloning meathods as shown in George Lucas' Attack of the Clones, and cells from Richard Nixon. We will create an army of Nixon clones!

Or better yet:

Lenin!