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Comrades, I fear that we may be losing the battle...

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... against the evils of KKKlimate Change.

Here is a very depressing news article about a Global Warming Climate Change protest against the eeeeeeevil $cott Walker, and only FIVE PEOPLE cared enough about the climate to show up!

Their iceberg tipped over and they had to be rescued by the authorities. How embarrassing.

A sad, sad day for The Movement.

EPIC FAIL: ‘CLIMATE CHANGE VOTERS' ATTEMPT TO PROTEST SCOTT WALKER NH CRUISE WITH ‘FLOATING ICEBERG,' PEOPLE DRESSED AS MOOSE

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Psst, Craptek...Image
Have the exterminator stop by next time you are in port...your vessel may be infested with Beatles...

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Hmmm...

...One might think that the purveyors of all things scientific and so in tune with climate dynamics would have at least a moderate grasp of the scientific notions of buoyancy and weight and balance.

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I wonder, what would I get if I file for disability due to my incapacitating terror of climate change? Boom or loon? A government check or a padded cell?

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[color=#C0392B]Dedhedvedev[/color] was worrying needlessly when he wrote:I wonder, what would I get if I file for disability due to my incapacitating terror of climate change? Boom or loon? A government check or a padded cell?

Trust me on this Dedhedvedev... I used to work in HR (homeroom).

When appearing before the disability board, wear a very nice hat and if you are shirtless I would recommend shaving your back.

Your disability claim with pass right through!


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My Our Entire Kollecktiv has voted - UNANIMOUSLY these Heroic Revolutionaries will be so Imbued with Revolutionary Zeal that they will willingly eagerly become Holy Revolutionary Martyrs to the New Truth of Climate Change & Social Justice!

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Psst, Craptek...Image
Have the exterminator stop by next time you are in port...your vessel may be [highlight=#FFFF00]infested with Beatles[/highlight]...

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We MIGHT be losing the battle, but all we need to get together is a party. A party with Al Gore, Bill Nye, a menagerie of popular celebrities, and have it all centered around stopping climate change. It's well-known that the easily-led and easily-tapped college-aged demographic likes going to parties and doing the activities therein, so we need to exploit that desire. But we'll have to add some cheap beer to the list and a disc jockey to the list if we are to utilize the collegiate demographic as efficiently and effectively as possible. Cheap beer will be purveyed from the nearest distributors and my vote's for Rainbow Stalin as the disc jockey. We also should ask the celebrities to write and/or perform their own songs about stopping climate change or present an upbeat, hip presentation about climate change, incorporating many elements and things from pop culture to really get the collegiates. We will structure the event to Soviet Information Bureau and Soviet Education System standards to get the climate change message into the college kids so that they'll do whatever we tell them. Then, as they're walking out, they'll be forced to sign a legally-binding contract, a bug placed on them through a goody bag or a free shirt or whatever, and then their house units monitored for the fulfillment of the contract. We may also distribute free MP3 players or Flash Drives with a virus on them to monitor their computer usage and files. If they honor the contract then they live as they are, but if they do not honor the contract (Or are found to have computer files that are not in accordance with Party or State doctrines), then they get "wasted" in the middle of the night by KGB officials in a black van, they are taken to the nearest railroad depot, and then shipped off to a "rehab clinic" somewhere in the middle of Alaska. We also have them drop out of college but forge documents so that we can redistribute the loan money.

In short, I suggest we do it the Klassik KGB way.


 
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